After almost 2 years still get up every morning with the "I GET to do what I do" fresh in my mind, not the "Oh gawd I HAVE TO do what I do today...." I think that it is unfair to be stereotyped and lumped in with others who may be "hardened", although more than likely for good reason!.
I think it is a case by case basis in judging and certainly some of the newer ladies are already "hardened" from life in general as it is. Not ALL, SOME...
I am so GFE you'd forget I was anything other than... and so are many, many of the ladies I call my friends. Just so you know... you can't judge everyone who has been around awhile as the same. Some of us just get BETTER and smarter. lol
This is directed towards those who have been enjoying these endeavors for a little while now.
How has your experience changed?
For the men, over time, have you noticed changes in the way you research and read about the ladies? Are your desires during a date different than when you first started? (Certain activities are or are not sought anymore) How have you changed?
For the ladies, is there anything you've come to realize about men that you hadn't known when you started? Are there activities you've added or eliminated since you began? HOw have you changed?
And for both, if you had to do it again, what would you do differently in your process of evaluation of whether to see someone?
---
For myself, the biggest change has been when I initially go to a lady's website. I used to head straight for the 'Gallery' first. Now, I've been finding myself heading instead for the 'Bio/About' page first. If it seems 'boiler-plate', even though the subsequent pictures look great, chances are I will just keep moving along.
Also, I find less interest in the 'gymnastics' of reviews. Since research has taken me further into the realm of sexual physiology, I am more interested in seeing if a 'connection' is possible that would allow for the exploring of 'secondary' arousal zones, and the joining of the full body in the excitation and orgasmic states. For this to occur, I find the need for a few emails back and forth prior to meeting for some information exchange to be very helpful. Since 90% of sex is 'in the brain', the ladies and I have found ourselves in a higher excitation state by the time the 'door opens', meaning our 'exploration' can go much further during the date. It seems to make the shared afterglow sweeter as well. So, for me, finding a lady open to a new journey has become the top biggest area I've noticed a change in myself.
...I do what I have always done. I look at her pics, check her rate and then read her reviews. I am much more into oral, both giving and receiving, now than I have ever been. To the point where if a gal doesn't appear to enjoy it, based on her reviews, I will not book with her. The most blatant change for me is my preference for long-term GFE relationships where in the past I would see three or four different girls a month. I still see the occasional new gal when I travel but beyond that I have been seeing the same two ladies, one local about twice a month and one about 300 miles away about six times a year, for about two years now. The sex gets better with each visit so why mess with success!
Well, it's been almost four years since my newbie experience. My initial foray was with a lady in another city that was hot, and had good reviews but with a hint of unreliabilty. That proved to be spot on...that lady did not respond to e-mails or calls until the night I got back home! Since then, if the lady does not have a solid history of excellent reviews, I pass. Looks and pics are secondary...almost every woman on this planet is attractive to me in some way, and every provider I have met has more than met this criteria...
Also, attending M&G's in my area has allowed me the opportunity to meet many of our provider friends in person, and this has proven to be an effective method in considering whether I should contact them afterward. Note, ladies that attend M&G's can usually be counted on to put a smile on your face, and have never failed to provide an enjoyable experience. Additionally, if they are active participants in the ongoing ramblings on TER, this is also a great indicator that you will have a fun experience if you take the time to set up a session.
Well, quite a bit has changed since I started. One is the advent of the internet! LOL...yes, do the math. It's never been a full time job for me so it's not like I have done this everyday for 20+ years! Always been very part time.
The attitude of men has changed dramaticly. There is protocol that they follow. Rules. There are avenues of research for gents & ladies that were never available before.
The safety factor has increased 1000 fold. So much safer these days. Whereas before, you'd have to use adult ads to advertise or meet at clubs. Screening was near impossible. Luck of the draw.
Where I started back in Sacramento we used the 'magic ads' mostly. So between tractors and landscaping jobs we'd slip our ads in lol.
I've learned to discount everything. I look for the GFE experience (not just GFE activities, but those too). If she has reviews, I make sure she does GFE activities and does not "just laid there". Since I am looking for GFE, I discount ladies that offer 1/2 hr sessions, although French Lesson specials once a month are OK.
I find that new ladies are a little more free spirited, and can be a lot closer to the GFE experience. I go to the pics, rates, and then description (which can be a lot of BS). So, if she is an independent, cute, nice, and reasonably priced, I'm willing to TOFTT. However, I do not bottom fish, so I avoid CL where there are LE problems too. Ads that are too aggressive from a new lady are a warning sign too (pimp, cash&dash changing name, etc.)
I've found a few ladies that I enjoy, so I may settle into an ATF rotation for a while.
After almost 2 years still get up every morning with the "I GET to do what I do" fresh in my mind, not the "Oh gawd I HAVE TO do what I do today...." I think that it is unfair to be stereotyped and lumped in with others who may be "hardened", although more than likely for good reason!.
I think it is a case by case basis in judging and certainly some of the newer ladies are already "hardened" from life in general as it is. Not ALL, SOME...
I am so GFE you'd forget I was anything other than... and so are many, many of the ladies I call my friends. Just so you know... you can't judge everyone who has been around awhile as the same. Some of us just get BETTER and smarter. lol
... I did not mean it in the negative way you are taking it. I did edit the post to soften it a little. I did not mean "hardened" in the sense that they have become "jaded".
What I meant by "hardened" is that new ladies are a little more "open", and tend to become more "defensive" once they have been in the business a little while. In fact, I have told a few they need to put up some walls in order to protect their privacy. They also need to be a little more paranoid, i.e. screen better for LE. Things like that. Taken as a whole, it becomes a little harder to get to know the lady.
I admit that the new ladies can learn a lot about providing a great experience from GFE ladies such as yourself. That part is missing with the newbies. I'm just saying there is sometimes a certain amount of innocence with a new lady that makes the time that much more enjoyable.
but try to think of things this way: if you dont like it when ladies seem "hardened" or hard to get to know, then be careful when putting them in a position to be defensive. Dont go asking her a lot of personal questions that will make her get paranoid or think youre le. Id like to also add that youve seen some wonderful women, so you must be treating them well
I think my first review anywhere was in 2003. At first glance one would think I have "been around a long time" by the date of that review.
I have taken anywhere from a month to an entire year off at times where I did not see anyone at all, due to things in my personal life that would have been conflicting.
The total number of people I have seen (ever) in the "hobby" is about maybe 2-3 more men than all the men who have ever reviewed me.
If you divide the total number of men I have met (26-30) by the number of years I have been "around", that equates to 6 gentlemen a year.
I have seen on average 1-2 men per month over the last 6-12 months or so...and those men have been the same two or three people repeatedly.
I saw a new gentlemen for the first time recently and he was my first new client since last summer.
Now, if you take a "new independent" and ask her how she got started..she will often tell you she was working for an agency first. I'm pretty sure MOST girls who work for agencies have often met at least a couple dozen men before they figure out how to become independent.
So...is it time for me to reinvent myself because I have reviews that date back 5 years and because of that everyone thinks I have "been around" so long that there isn't any innocence left?
It certainly doesn't feel to me like I am as "experienced" as my number of years might make me out to seem!!
has increased 10 fold and THEN some! When I first started in this business, I only wanted to see gentleman under the age of 45. I made an acception with a gentleman who was very sweet in his email, and phone conversations. At first I thought it felt a little like grandfather/granddaughter relations, but after chatting with him face to face, I relaxed, HE relaxed, and we moved forward. He has been one of my closer clients, and remains so to this day. There is no pretending to feel passion, just to make him feel good. I look forward to my time with him...As I do with all my elderly clients. One thing I have learned is don't under estimate the knowledge and ability of the 'older' gentleman just because he is 'OLDER'. Ya might end up very very surprised, and very very thankful in the end. luv ya Bob.
I am more selective in who I see. I tend to look for a "connection" rather than just another pretty face with a nice rack and rear. For me it is all about a GFE experience where the journey is as important as the finish line.
"For the ladies, is there anything you've come to realize about men that you hadn't known when you started?"
~No, I have just realized how diverse they are, not all are a-holes like some want to think. I have been very blessed to meet some wonderful friends! I truly do love what I do.
"Are there activities you've added or eliminated since you began?"
~I eliminated travel to Greece. Only because I realized it is not for me and I really gave it a fair shot.
"HOw have you changed?"
~A few more lines in my face, maybe a few gray hairs I struggle to keep covered, I am the same lady I was, just wiser, stronger and BETTER.
"And for both, if you had to do it again, what would you do differently in your process of evaluation of whether to see someone?"
~ I started out not screening and not using the word "gentlemen" in my ad. I learned very quickly that I need to do both. Punks know they are not gents... And GENTS KNOW they are just that... Gentlemen. I refuse to settle for less.
For me, I have learned that common sense obtained in the civvie world doesn't necessarily apply to the hobby. Being too nice can set off an unfortunate string of events that leads to motives being questioned. I have learned to be much more clinical in my approach, and have had much more success as a result. Like you, my preferences have changed in regard to what I look for in a "good" date. Since YMMV is so prevalent, I go by good reviews by reviewers I know, rather than simply by looks and gymnastic ability. I also look to repeat more than I used to, as its much more enjoyable I have found as opposed to variety. First time meetings still make me nervous.
If I could start over again, with the knowledge I have now, I don't know that I would become a hobbyist. Its not as fulfilling as I hoped it would be. It definitely serves a purpose, but sometimes I feel a greater sense of void because of it. But I have also made some friendships that would not have been possible without it. Six of one...half a dozen of the other.
I have always been more into performance than looks, but even more so now.
I have given up on finding providers that stimulate me perfectly visually...instead focusing on providers who do turn me on, but who will also rock my world!
A hot pic may get my attention, but good reivews and great service will get my appointment.
Okay, so I may not have achieved veteran status yet, but I have been at this a deceptively long time. You can thank Al Gore and his internet for that, lol.
I've learned a lot of new things about many different men. Which is great, because I *love* new things I've also learned a tremendous amount about what *I* enjoy, which was my goal to begin with, and I'm so glad that I get to continue to explore.
Things I've eliminated from my repertoire? Nothing that I can think of, but things float in and out of my sphere of interest and may have to be requested for me to present. Things I've added! Believe it or not, before getting into the hobby I had experienced a couple of *terrible* greek blunders, and had pretty much decided that it wasn't for me. The hobby convinced me to give it another try, and I am very happy I did!
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
VIP MEMBER
, you are now a VIP member!
We thank you for your purchase!
VIP MEMBER
, Thank you for becoming VIP member!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!
