It is the least we can do.

I expect her to take steps to protect herself. My interests are intertwined with hers. The better and more sophisticated the lady's screening, the more confident I am in the safety of spending time with her.

This business runs on a certain amount of trust and mutual accountability.

Screen on!

It shows that you have some regard for my safety as well as your own.

There is a board at the local Home Depot with the pictures and names of all the department managers.  One of the department managers is Joe Smith.  I get a phony driver’s license with my picture and my stats but with the name Joe Smith.  I find the provider I am interested in and see who has written reviews on her.  I find a seasoned hobbyist who has not written a review on the provider I want to see. Let’s say the hobbyist’s TER handle is “hobbyguy123.”  I contact the agency/provider and tell then/her that my TER handle is “hobbyguy123” and I work at the local Home Depot and give them/her the telephone number so they/she can call and verify that I work there.  I show up with a driver’s license with the name Joe Smith and my picture.  I could obtain the name of an employee at just about any retail establishment, so that is not a problem.  If I give the TER handle of a real hobbyist how is the agency/provider going to connect the real name of the hobbyist with his handle?  I guess screening is better than no screening but please don’t be lulled into thinking it is fool proof?

I've pursued seeing certain ladies, but when they seemed too casual about screening me, I pursued them no longer. Safety, safety, safety, is so important. I think some guys who hobby do so, partly with the idea, and corresponding excitement of getting caught, in the back of their minds. Not me!

in fact, it is me.. picture of ME included.

but EVEN that could be circumvented...

Screening is for the most part, there to provide a level of security and is better than nothing.  There is NO security system on the face of the earth that can guarantee your safety - none... and if you will notice, some of the ladies go on insticts... and that ain't bad...   sure, occasionally someone will get through - or they will exclude a really nice dude... but on the whole, that gut feeling is correct more often than not.

it was once said, that if someone really wants to, they can, in fact, asssinate anyone on the planet.  Course - they have to be willing to be caught.

suppose she does not screen.... and cops call for an appointment - find out the location... and just as you are leaving...  There is a knock at the door.

suppose she does not screen... and there is this dude who "loves her" but does not want anyone else to have her... he calls to make an apt... finds the location... and as you enter the room... he leaps otta the elevator, forces you into the room, and knifes you all the while screaming "if I can't have her, no one can have her!!!"

suppose she does not screen... and she is just sleezy... you go to shower, and she lifts your credit cards and cash...  or goes into the cell phone and gets you home phone number to call and....

Well- you get the general drift... sceening represents (At least in the hobby) good business practices... and a modest level of security...  and as noted, it is far from foolproof... only really keeps out the "impulse crazies" and maybe LE...

Screening probably cuts down on number of no shows and weeds out a few frat boys, so Ok, it's got it's place

But I think we can all agree that for hobbyist to give out his real name is just plain bad idea. An alias is only a prudent thing to do.

Saw a few good posts in this an prior threads on how to get employment verification without messing with extra phone lines - will save me some trouble, and in the end I think all parties are happy.

if I allowed guys to use an alias.  NC/NS' are a worry and a pain.  Frat boys don't bother me.  A real name allows me to weed out the rapists, kidnappers, abusers, robbers, and murderers that exist and prey on women who do this for a living.  

Please don't think this is a trivial thing we women deal with because it isn't.  You belittle our worries with your lack of understanding.  I worry every time I see someone new that I'll make it out alive, in one piece and safe.

I'll continue to screen as if my life depends upon it because quite frankly; it does.

-- Modified on 2/25/2009 12:09:32 PM

I don't fault any provider for screening. As a matter of fact if I were a provider I would go to great lengths to screen and even then I doubt I would feel safe and comfortable with someone who I had not seen before.  We are only trying to point how fallible screening can be.  The best of screening can be easily defeated and that is why you shouldn't have a false sense of security by screening.

I have no problem with both sides showing caution when setting a meeting. In the end, it is to ensure the safety of both people. The best advice is to use common sense.

Aside of the fact that that is an awful lot of work for someone to do, I guarantee you would NOT pass my screening with that info.

us feel perfectly safe.  However; a gentleman who will fill out our forms, go through a verification site or help us help them is invaluable.  There are flaws in every system but why lie, cheat or dodge and potentially put yourself or someone else in peril?

When she screens me thoroughly she is behaving in a professional manner, which may not be fool proof, but is the best way she has to remain safe from various threats, some of which Superbizarrodude and others have pointed out. Like any issue of safety, when observing safety rules there is no guarantee of sonething bad not happening, but the more you do so the less the odds. And, when she endeavors to keep herself safe, she is often, indirectly keeping me safe. Now that's my specific answer to you.

My general answer is this. I never deal with individuals who do not behave in a professional manner. The way they care for themselves and the mindfulness they demonstrate in address my needs, insures that they get and keep my business. This is true of my doctor, dentist, car mechanic, restaurants, and on and on. And, likewise I endeavor to behave in a professional manner toward the people I serve. I've been doing so for many years and it seems to work just fine, thank you.

a lot of bullshit to go through to get laid. A guy would be better off staying home and squeezing one out.

However, trust me, I would find that info false and block you.

because of the way i operate and my whole purpose for being in this biz, i need to know legitimate personal information about all the gents i see. this is for many reasons, primary among them being the fact that i want to develop a genuine connection that will hopefully lead to a long-term relationship. i need to know the real YOU, your dreams and hopes, drives and passions, interests and hobbies, and absolutely your real name and real phone numbers.

this is not just a part of screening for me (altho it's important for that as well), it's a part of getting to know you.

Most intelligent ladies would not accept *only* an employment reference. You would also have to provide references through a verification site or from well known providers. And there are other tricks of the trade that I have become privy to but would not reveal.

You *could* create a false ID for hobby purposes but I'm not going to tell you how '

Fake ID could get us in more trouble then it's worth, especially if you happen to show it to an undercover cop. However a company photo id under an alias is ok with the law. Just get an inexpensive laminate printer. I'm sure most girls will accept company photo id just fine, though I never had to show any ID, and don't even carry a wallet in to the session - less things to keep track of.

-- Modified on 2/25/2009 2:33:42 PM

then they apparently are to you.....

LarryElmer,

If there weren't guys like you using and/or advocating verifying with fake information and admitting to lying to ladies... perhaps some of us wouldn't be so hard nosed in our screening.

Just a thought.

>> a long-term relationship. i need to know the real YOU, your dreams and hopes, drives and passions, interests and hobbies, and absolutely your real name and real phone numbers.

Wow, Sounds crazy, but may be some guys are in to it

I mean, nothing wrong with long term , but I though this board was about guys looking to get laid and move on. There are other sites out there that are more for hooking up and getting to know each other.

everyone seeks out this hobby for different reasons. probably for the majority of men, it doesn't go any further than a need/desire for great sex and/or variety. but for some gents (perhaps more than you may think...check the EH some time) it's about filling a void in their lives, fulfilling something essential. maybe they married young, had 2 sex partners in life and are still madly in love with the wife, but the sex is not so great. they don't have the emotional make-up to do meaningless casual sex, but they still need to have those urges tended to. or maybe a guy is single, can't find the One but in the meantime doesn't want to just hop from bed to bed. these are the kind of men i am in this business to serve.

and for me this is a calling above all else...it may sound silly or crazy, but i feel called to escorting the way some feel called to serve their God...it's a service that is genuinely needed by many, and i truly feel that i am enriching the lives of those that i see.

I actually don't mind a provider screening me, as if it were her last day on earth. We need to remember, although escorting is not illegal, it's the transaction of funds for certain services, which makes it so.  

I would like for everyone to be safe, both gents and providers.

Providers, I do support you all 100%. I've watched "John TV", and read the news of those arrested, and you don't ever want to end up there. You need to screen in the way it makes you feel safe. Yes, nothing is ever 100% guaranteed, but if it makes you feel safe at the end of the day, and you do get to meet a nice person from it, then good for you.

All I can think about is what if this were my sister, or some female member in my family, and I would not be happy about them escorting (truth be told), but I would be very supportive, and make sure that they are screening to the best of their abilities.


Keep up the good work, with keeping us guys "up", ladies!  

Suppose she does screen and all of the above happens, as well it could.

Screening is by no means a cure all.  In the end what does knowing that a guy has a job and has seen a couple of other providers do?  Most say it is for the safety.....there are a lot of weirdos that have jobs and see providers.  The sport is a gamble on both sides in many ways.

Personally I still have a problem give the personal information when I know absolutely NOTHING about the lady.

This is not a perfect system but I guess it is better than nothing. Be safe.

I want you to know you have nothing to worry about when you see me. It would be pretty tough for me to hide my real name from escorts considering they're coming over to my house all the time. Not too tough to look it up, lol. None of them know where I work though. By all means, if a guy is unwilling to trust you, don't trust him. There is no telling what some asshole is willing to do to you if he knows he has no fear of retribution.

sure screening can be defeated, but if someone is gonna go to that much trouble, they are gonna do u harm anyway u look at it.  all u can do is a best effort.  

but i'm having trouble with my hobbyists just dont wanna give up the info.  married guysd, i guess since i dont have reviews yet they are worried.  and i havent dated anybody from TER yet (whats a matter fellows?)  

but its kinda crazy.  i

im gonna work on my screening spiel more to eliminate fellows who wanna just waste my time, but i've also found that the conversation is a good exercise to get to know someone a little.  i mean what else ya gonna talk about before ya meet up, and you need to get a feel for folks somehow.  i'm not gonna see nobody unless i've talked to them on the phone at least.

and i have a handgun.   lol.  i do my best to weed out the cops though and the screening chat helps to eliminate the weirdos, time wasters, etc.  always been told i'm pretty intimidating just in the way i carry myself.  generally folks dont mess with me.  my nieces and nephews think i'm fearless.  i tell em, naw, i'm just old.   lol.  

and yes, because its illegal, it has a hell of a lot of risks and thats included in the donation.  providers are taking a risk (like drug dealers for instance)  so the fee pays partly for us to take the risk.  and to you hobbyists, its supposed to cover discretion too.  so if any crummy provider exploits any personal info from u, please post a blasting review against her.  

i'm not saying you shouldnt screen.  u gotta do what u gotta do to make yourself feel comfortable.  

i'm a low volume provider and on the high end of the scale.  outcall i'm a little easier on, incall, since its my home, i act like i'm gonna get their dna.  lol.

-- Modified on 2/25/2009 7:04:48 PM

Send a PM to the TER ID you falsely use. A lady did that with me years ago, and now I insist anyone I see verify my TER ID via PM as part of their screening. It lets me know they do a little, since most of the other ways I will never know if she ran a check onmy info or not.

Wow, that's deep Lilli.  Some profound stuff.  

And to think I thought you strictly meant a repeat customer by the term "long-term."

What are your stats?  I bet I'd dwarf you.  

i understand that's the way you look at it, but it's not quite that way. for one, we providers are at a far greater risk from LE, exposure, stalkers, rapists and murderers than hobbyists. therefore we all need to do whatever is necessary to ensure our safety as much as possible. so much of the information i need IS for safety purposes. but it IS also a part of the getting to know you process. what's funny is when i happen to come across the more "worldly" gents who are experienced in this hobby and have fake names, emails, toss-away cells, etc...and in the process of chatting with and getting to know them they slip up and reveal their true name while telling me a childhood story...or accidentally email me from their "legit" email address. while i won't outright reject these gents, i will definitely let them know that i am a very different sort of provider and they must be willing to let go of those games if they wish to ever meet me.

also, i am very honest with the gents i see. men may ask, is lilli your real name? i say no, of course not. anyone with common sense understands that a girl cannot be in this profession using her real name and giving out info that can be used to i.d. her to the whole world. i don't even reveal my phone no. to gents i have never met. but do i reveal my true self...my personality, my nature, my mind...to clients? absolutely, 100%. before ever meeting me, a gent will know my true age, the fact that i am married, that i am a homemaker, where i grew up, the fact that i have a cat named Scooter, and as much personal history as they want...just as i will know the same about them.

YOU GO GIRL.  THIS GUY'S A BOZO

If you email me claiming to he a "seasoned hobbiest" and Ter member you better be ready to prove it by emailing me from that TER account.
And while you're at it you can include the name,number,email address and personal website of the 2 ladies whom you have seen recently(within the past year) who will know and remember you and verify that you're a clean discrete gentleman whom i should feel safe allowing to come into my home