I hobby because I don't have a g/f...but if had one I wouldn't.

Other men hobby it seems because they don't get sex from their wives anymore, or not enough sex to satisfy them...this bring me to my question if you had a satisfying personal sex life would you hobby?

I can't help but think that if most men had the sex life they wanted(from their wives, g/f, dating)they wouldn't go to escorts, am I wrong for assuming this?

. . . hobby if I had a satisfying sex life; in fact I would not, and did not, hobby even when I had an nonexistent sex life as long as I was married or had an SO.

I'd still be here, I don't believe that love and monogamy are exclusive things, but for at least some here, I'm sure your assumption would be correct.

-- Modified on 7/9/2006 5:13:30 AM

There are many variables that enter into the decision to start and continue hobbying:

A satisfying sex life (or lack thereof) is one key ingredient, but there are more.  For example..

Are some men genetically more inclined to seek out multiple sex partners.  Some articles I've read have said so.  (polyamorism)

Once a relationship with an ATF has been established, it is not easy to break away from it.  (I know this is true in my own case.)

What if hobbying were not just legally acceptable but actually socially acceptable.  What then? (I wonder if a larger percentage of men hobby in areas where prostituion is legal.)

There are probably other factors as well, but you get the idea.

In my own case, I used to think that I hobbyed only because my ex wasn't interested in sex, but now I'm comming to believe that I was always fated to be a hobbyist, and I have no regrets about it.  

Life has been good.

I agree with snowblind.I love my wife and have ever since we met 21 yrs.ago.She'll give it to me almost any time that I ask.But I need variety!That by itself is the reason that I hobby. And there's nothing like the feeling of going at it with some hot twenty-something babe with a great body and pretty face.It's the best way that I know of to ease the tension of a rough week at work!

I started hobbying for revenge.  I found out my SO was cheating so I started this.  After 20 reviews (didn't take me long), I confronted her on what was going on.  She felt terrible, told me she loved me and said she felt so guilty.  I told her not to and then logged into TER with her and showed her my portfolio.  Ah,  revenge is sweet!
Problem is that the hobby has become addictive.  While I rarely hobby, I can't seem to kick it completely.  There are a couple of trust issues that contribute to this.  Probably mostly in my head (the big one... er.. the one on top of my shoulders).

My best experience hobbying has not come close to the fulfillment I feel in a real relationship that I am committed to.  The hobby can be incredible sex, and I have felt a lot for several of the women I have known, but if I am in a committed, fulfilling relationship that I want to be in, there is nothing in the hobby that can remotely approach the depth I have felt in that scenario.

Having been divorced for 17 years and happy as hell, thank you very much, I just cannot get myself to move into a committed relationship. Have tried 2-3 times and it always comes down to marry me or I am gone. Well, they are gone. Simple as that.

I do believe if ever I could get past the fear of a commited relationhsip or heaven forbid even marriage, I would not be messing around with the hobby. I think. lmao

After two marriages and a couple of live-in SO experiences I found the natural hardwiring of wanting some strange occasionally is unavoidable. Frequency and quality of the sex at home however had a dramatic influence on the impetus to stray.

 I've been told tales by providers of guys who are married to major beauty contest winners that are still giving it to them at home, and yet the need to seed elsewhere still exists.

Nature made us polygamous
Societal engineering promotes monogyny

Well, I hobby on occasion and am not a full blown hobbyist like some others. I have a very good personal sex life and I do hobby at times. So yes I do this even though my personal life is just as good as the feeling you get when with a provider.

See the thing is I am not a one woman guy, I don't intend on getting married and a girlfriend is the furthest thing from my mind right now. I like my independence and lifestyle, it suits me.

-- Modified on 7/9/2006 3:09:01 PM

I originaly started to hobby because I was between girlfriends and horny.(lol) Now that I have a girlfriend and a great sex life I continue to hobby for several reasons. One, because my ATF is so good I can't give her up.  Two, when my girlfriend is "not in the mood" I can call my ATF.  Three, having an ATF is like having a second girlfriend that doesn't get jealous, doesn't ask questions and doesn't get mad when you don't call the next day. (lol)

I don't have a g/f, but I have a satisfying sex life. I like to see girls and I also like to pick up women in bars, but the providers are less of a hassle.

Do you mean to say that if you got all the sex you wanted for free, would yo still want to buy some?  I'll bet there are a few out there who get off on paying for it.  And certainly the lack of strings has appeal.

I can't/don't so what's the point? I'm here because after 13 years of being faithful in an otherwise good marriage, I couldn't live with  the four to six times a year that my sex life with wifey had been reduced to. Nor could I fathom a divorce for various reasons, including the fact that I love wifey. So if I had a fulfilling sex life, I could probably find other uses for the money and the guilt, but who knows?

might have saved my marriage....  !  It is just the way my DNA is constructed!  lol!!!