Do you find that you can let your guard down when you are in a session with a provider or hobbiest? Are there certain things that you can tell them that you wouldn't share with your closest friends or family? ( besides the fact that your there in the first place ,

Kisses,

Alex

-- Modified on 7/12/2010 6:27:00 AM

that you can't discuss with others like friend and families, but then again there are other facts about my life that I won't share.

Compartmentization is that rule so that worlds don't collide.

It works out for the best that way.

Especially on the first date. If I see a lady a second time, I'll open up a little more, but to honest, once the conversation gets going, I let the escort do most of the talking. Seems to work for me.

Whole sections of my life are off limits to anyone who doesn't have a sense of shared destiny with me.

Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

That doesn't mean I can't be very honest and sharing; it's just that nobody's best interests are served by me revealing information that "if I told ya, I'd have ta kill ya."

Once we get past that point, though -- there are a couple of providers with whom I feel comfortable sharing and discussing just about anything because I know they can be seriously trusted. But only the stuff pertaining to the person whose name they used for verification.

I suppose that a "hobbyist" who has NO friends, NO family, NO co workers will spill their guts to a hooker.
The more I read your posts, the more I see and call BS. You seem more like a desperate "author" with an agenda then someone who has been in the hobby.

since I have none. When I'm talking to someone who's getting to know me, if I'm wanting to talk, it's about something that I'm doing in my life that I find exciting. But, However, I'm a much better listener than talker.

I mentioned in another thread that the boundaries of the hobby can create a space in which significant depth may occur, partially because of the absence of breadth of experience.

One of my earlier relationships in the hobby led to a great deal of growth for both the lady and myself. She was ready for a sort of spiritual inquiry which I was kind of uniquely prepared to help with and I was unaware of how profoundly important sex can be as a way of communication in a relationship.

We were able to explore these areas with a great deal of depth because we weren't distracted by all the other stuff that goes along with a relationship outside the hobby. When we did move the relationship outside the hobby, we found it very difficult to continue to relate with that kind of depth and, eventually, things fell apart- "The center cannot hold".

I'm always looking for people with whom I can let my guard down since I pretty much refuse to be anyone other than myself these days and have few reasons to be dishonest. It's no different in my search for providers than with any other friends.

If I feel there is a REAL connection, or VIBE, I'll go with my SS#, checking account, and routing #.  Now I can tell if she's a woman of high moral, and ethical standards.  If that proves to be the case, and she treats me really special, normally as a tip, I give her my debit card # and PIN.
I think that 99% of all poviders (including CL ladies) are totally 100% trustworthy, and ethical, and I feel so much closer after spending a 1/2 hour with them when I kind of open up.

The more I read of "her" posts, the more I agree with your assessment.

you will have all the money in the world to spread your good will.

I am also sure that you spend that entire 30 with your CL girls, just getting to know them. I bet you don't even have sex with them until the second or third date to make sure your connection with them is real. Roflmfao

sex? I thought this was therapy! Damn, I can't believe I coulda been having sex with these girls!

When your 50# and 20 years over what you claim on your ho site like me you go for the next best thing, running down everyone else and acting like you have a real life.

Follow my twitter!!! No, I'm not telling you what it is cuz you a STALKER!!!

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!!!! BUY ME PRESENTS!!!! PAY MY RENT!!!!

Hmmm, this gives me an idea for a new blog.

'Posing behind bowling balls, cuz fruits and veggies just don't cover enuf'

More like posing behind a pair of fucking beach balls, to cover that fat ass. It's like trying to eclipse the fucking sun. lmao

Yeah, STALKER my ass, how hard is it to follow an elephant around a one bedroom apartment?

Don't know about getting to that part of a conversation. Prefer it myself when the girl does not talk too much, and doesn't ask me a lot of questions either.

Lots of great replys. It boils down to each his own. I am not afraid of giving information about myself to the provider. I usually ask a lot of questions about them also. If I like them it helps build some friendship. I find the secession goes easier. I have found that if they don't have someone coming in behind me I get extra time. I am not afraid of being blackmailed!! I don't have enough for anyone to be interested in. I am like Letterman. I would just tell everyone publicly. I see one provider twice a month. We have become friends. I have taken her to dinner 12 times. I don't pay to do this. I do buy her a nice meal. If I have sex? I pay just like everyone else. Friendship does not mean free sex. That is how she makes her living. Finding a friend you can go out and eat with and talk to has made it worth the risk to me. But then to each his own.

WTF are you talking about? I think you need to put down the crack pipe. I have no idea what you are trying to say.

Alex

It depends lol; with a gal who has been a long term presence probably.

I think it is a riot how a simple question is asked and I get to read posts like yours. As if calling what I write bullshit or putting me down makes it untrue. I think you probably read things in my blog that ring alot truer than you care to admit.

By the way...My research is done with each appointment.

Kisses Alex

Well it seems you have found some of the more open minded posters this board has to offer!  LOL!  Don’t worry, they see many serious question as something to be ridiculed rather than replied to, not just yours.

Contrary to Alfred_nose_bleeder I would be scared to death to give out that much info to someone I didn’t know.  I think any concerned guy would limit the info they share at that point to the minimum necessary.

However, for providers who have become friends, we share a lot.  The reality is there are some women in this business I trust to be more discrete than about anyone else, and the same is true in reverse.  I do keep some things compartmentalized as others have said, I think we all do.

just that it's HIS cum that i love sliding down the back of my throat. Did i say that out loud? hehehe

First by having a sock puppet post here and link you blog. I knew it was just a matter of time when you would create a handle and join. Kind of like sneaking in the back door.
I have a lot of trust in my gut feelings, and I don't believe you are a working provider at all.

as to your blog, I was unable to get more than a few sentences into that rubbish that you spew before logging off in disgust.

It's sounds more like a third (or fourth) rate novelist trying get some practice in before undertaking another book doomed to failure.

I don't mind if guys come and share woes. I am there for him in whatever capacity he needs that day.

If he needs a listener, I listen. If he needs a date for a Star Trek festival, I put on my Lt. Uhora outfit and black go-go boots. It's whatever he needs or wants.

The only thing that makes me cringe is when he reveals/shares info about other ladies (by name) or hobbyists. Very inappropriate and crass.


Kisses,
Vanica Love

Share more with someone I'm paying to fuck than with family and close friends?

Some might delude themselves into thinking GFE means they're with an actual GF, but not me. I'm paying her for a service. I treat her well and am polite, but intimacy doesn't enter into it. Nor do intimate activities like kissing or going down on her. I'll never get how or why someone would do that with a provider. But that's just me.

(BUZZER Going OFF) ...Wrong! But thanks for playing!

Sorry that you didn't like the blog but I was told by my editor that if I can evoke a strong reaction in my reader ( positive or negative ) I'm doing something right. So thanks for the comment!!!!!

A.

I hope I help since that is part of my life philosophy.  I am often amazed at how much mens problem relationships mimic women's problem relationships... from verbal to physical abuse (really) .. to inattention to affairs.  (really)

I am happy someone feels comfortable enuff and trusting enuff of me to be open and unburden themselves.  Like I said.. I hope it helps  

Being with someone is not so totally about the physical even tho that is the mythology in this biz.

I mention this cuz I doubt these men are sharing this with anyone else except maybe their real professional therapists.

of getting your readers to actually read more than a sentence or two before logging off in disgust.

Negative reactions are only a positive if your reader continue to read, otherwise you will dissappear into obscurity, where you so rightfully belong.

its only some poeple require more than that.  it's a multiple faceted bizniz.   !

I don't think so...My readership is growing daily. Not to mention the dozens of e-mails I receive daily from readers, writers, and "people in the know" who love the blog. If I you were you I'd stop making remarks about me being a bad writer...or disappearing into obscurity when it just isn't so. You simply don't have the knowledge to make that statement.

All you have is anger and an alias on TER  



A.

Sure but that doesn't mean that you always should. It is easier for a lot of guys to share intimate secrets with sex workers (including escorts, MP girls and strippers) because they are total strangers. It's pillow talk in a manner of speaking.

Should you? Well, I think it depends on the lady and the level of trust that has developed between the two of you.  My ATF and I are great friends and talk about anything you can think of including comparing our train-wreck ex spouses! We trust each other and we both that the stuff we talk about remains between us.

..."I had a man cry in my arms tonight."

Can't wait for your review on me!

How does it feel to be such a loser? Thank goodness for the hobby because you don't stand a chance of getting laid in real life.

Kisses, Alex.

-- Modified on 7/12/2010 3:11:11 PM

So, I don't have a problem. It is characteristic some people possess and some don't.

Why do people need to spill their guts? They do, it explains the success of social networking. It is like being silent, some people can't tolerate silence and some can.

Next time someone asks you question, be silent for 20 seconds, most people start talking. Just simple experiment.

you're as fake as I am. Get your sockpuppet to come WK you here, hope you do better than me so you don't wind up in a skanky shitbox begging for presents from an Amazon wishlist and doing phone sex so nobody can see what they're jerking off to.

Here - have an apple.

I think Buddha said that. Whoever it was it's true. Learn to keep your own secrets. Don't be a pussy and don't tell people things they shouldn't know. You lose power when too many people know your business.

so descriptive of some of my encounters, thanks.

...last time you got laid....I mean, not having to pay for it!

Do you find that you can let your guard down when you are on a discussion board with providers and hobbyists? Are there certain things that you can say them that you wouldn't say to your closest friends or family?

FUCK YEAH!

And of course there are things I will say to a provider in a session and not to others! And they are all sexual in nature. Especially things about some of the more specific things that I find highly arousing - things of a fantasy nature. (e.g. "Would you make yourself cum with the vibrator while my balls are in your mouth?"

Because of the physical intimacy with absolutely no emotional intimacy I can both say things to and in many cases believe certain things that are said to me (except for things like when an escort yelled "Oh! You're such a BEAST!" during sex. That was so fake and corny I almost blew chunks out my nose in laughter. I am NOT a sex beast. hahahahahah... oh, but I digress) even more than with my ex's.

The nature of the exchange, for me, completely eliminates any pretense, or posing or worry that something done or said will end a romantic relationship and waste all of that personal investment I made building it.

I love being able to ask something directly, or describe something I like completely, and have the woman be completely OK with it and say "sure let's do that"... and if not just say "no"... It's FUCKING REFRESHING!

Other than that, I will NEVER tell a provider much of anything about me, my thoughts, perspectives, what I do for a living, my history. If I want someone to talk to like that, I will see my Yale degreed Psychologist at about 1/4 the hourly rate. Or talk to another lone guy sittin' on the next barstool.

No kisses for you,

one year.

HalfHour

x

without this sort of BS backlash. I am a very real provider and her blogs are so accurate and correct. I think its cool she has a alias blog where she tells how it really is so that way it doesn't affect her acting/escort career. If you don't like the blog don't read it. End of Story.

who I'd wager is a guy.  Obviously my post was oozing sarcasim.