that the discussion boards and chats have gotten totally out of hand. I know Miki, Nettie, Karrie personally and have an internet acquaintance with several of the girls here so I understand what has precipatated this ridiculousness. However,  THIS site is NOT my life. Granted, it's a very important tool in marketing ME and my services. And, it's invaluable for keeping up with what's goin' on in the hobby. But for God's sakes folks, you've turned this place into a freaking soap opera. Why don't we girls simply do our jobs in a professional manner, treat each other AND our gents with courtesy. Why don't you gents recognize that we each have our own style and stop forming little cliques around your "favorites". Stop fueling the flames. Stop the drama and the bullshit. We should be having fun here AND this SHOULD be the place for some intelligent, thought provoking dialogue among sexually liberated folks. Instead, this site seems to be turning into one very LOW CLASS destination. Sort of like a Craig's list mentality with fees.

After every time I've logged into TER the last few months I leave with a knot in my stomach. Oh, I know, some of you smart asses will say, why don't you just leave Anneke? Believe me, I've thought about it but I have made some genuinely lovely friendships here and it is important for my business. See that last word? B-U-S-I-N-E-S-S. That is still what this is. I'm a swinger, a nudist, my sexuality and uninhibited style is natural, not manufactured for the almighty dollar but I made this my profession. Fortunately, I LOVE my profession because I LOVE SEX and I adore the variety and the fascinating folks I meet every day. You gents probably joined the hobby initially for a little variety and spice in your life. Some you now appear to live, eat and breath TER. Come on people, let's ALL step back and remember why we're here. This is the holiday season and it's my personal opinion (which might be worth nothing) that it might be a wonderful thing for us to get along. For my part, if I've ever said or done a thing here that has been mean spirited I ask forgiveness and promise to be kinder. Why don't we have a group I'M SORRY session and make TER a more civilized, place to be. Can't hurt.

Sincerely and with love,
Anneke

Message boards are a place for griping.

The vast majority of happy hobbiests and providers are too busy enjoying life to spend time on long rants or hateful posts.

Thats what the smaller percentage of unhappy people do.

When you see an angry or hateful post it is almost always coming from that small percentage who are always pissed off or someone who has just had a bad experience.

Try to remember that the VAST majority of visitors never even look at the discussion boards and the VAST majority who do actually read the boards seldom if ever post and the VAST majority of those mostly respond to others postings rather than start rants of their own.

If you went back over the whole of 2005 on the GD board I bet you would have around 100 posters who started a rant or hate thread.

Divide that by the number of folks who visit this board and its far less that one percent.

The sky is not falling and the world is not a more evil place since before you read all the posts that make you sad.

Since you admit that you pretty much have to be here, try to gain a little perspective and everything won't seem nearly so bad.

Shafty7

This post edited to correct numerous grammatical errors brought on by my lack of posting experience...perhaps a few rants would sharpen my talents.

-- Modified on 12/13/2005 9:39:45 AM

I'm no spring chicken. I've got LOTS of perspective on life. And, I don't HAVE to be here. But it IS important to my business, however, my business wouldn't die without TER.

You missed the whole point. It doesn't matter how many people visit this board who are hobbyists and/or members of TER. It's the behavior of the ones who ARE here that I am addressing. After all, I can gripe too can't I?  I never said the sky was falling and that I was sad. I did say, let's treat each other with some consideration and courtesy. That sounds pretty positive to me. Gotta run.........there ARE other things to do.

Smiles,
Anneke

yet sometimes we all need a "wake-up" call and that's what posting is for, too. However, I get tired of the knots occasionally swelling in my stomach when a valid point is made (and not posted for everyone and stated so), then someone rebuttals it with harsh statements. Granted, I'm very outspoken and for the underdog, but there are times when I don't even want to read the board and reply back to it.

Thanks for putting some great perspective on it, though, and I really appreciate your comment about B-U-S-I-N-E-S-S. Many people forget that's why we're all really here. Some choose to live in a fantasy land their entire civie life and that's okay, but I have an outside life, too.

Hugs,
Ciara

BigDoggie? That site is much worse when it comes to clients attacking providers on the boards..at least in Chicago. That's why I couldn't stand being a member there...the mods had little control. That place always had more assholes per square inch than the other sites combined. TER has only now made a TBD-like mistake, hopefully they'll rectify it...but I doubt it. Admitting a mistake is embarassing and would require someone of substance to do something extraordinary. Well it isn't TBD...so maybe there is hope.

Who cares what the squabbles are - when you look like you!  I am sorry that I did not see your site change earlier...................     sorry - gotta 'scuse myself.... oops.... poped that thing off! just lookin at that site... oh my god!

everybody needs to lighten up.  So here's a question -

What's the difference between a hooker, a mistress, and a wife?

A hooker says "are you almost there?".
A mistress says "are you already there?".
A wife says "Blue. I think I'll paint the ceiling blue."

Thanks. I'll have a lot more new pics from London for you once the new porn site is up.Should be just a few more days. Or, write me. at [email protected] I'll send you the naughty Christmas pics. I agree with Mr. Spock,,,let's have some fun!! Life is not a dress rehearsal.

Naughtily yours,
Anneke

I second the motion brought forth by sister Anneke
i took a hiatus from the boards and when i returned to catch up, i was just appalled at some of the things i have been reading

i enjoyed reading TER because it had such a wide variety of information to be learned from a wide variety of people and when i first entered this proffesion it was a valuable tool for me

i wish we could all go back to writing about things that are HELPFUL to each other whether than harmful

I still think TER is the best alternative around. Period.  But, and its a big but, it has declined considerably versus when I used to post a lot  under a different alias from late 1999 to about 2002.

I noticed on an archived poll that the average age has declined considerably since the first time that question was asked about five years ago.  I'm going from memory, but currently only about 30% are over the age of 40, and it used to be about 50%.  That's a huge swing.  

As you'd expect, the decline in age has been accompanied a very different attitude towards the ladies.  Five years ago we had mostly pre-internet hobbyists who remembered the old days and appreciated the benefits TER brought to the party.  

There were enough gentlemen on this board that when someone started being disrespectful he would immediately get reprimanded by so many guys that he would usually cease and desist.  As a result, it was a very provider-friendly board and there were a lot more women posting, especially on the LA Board.  Compare that to today where the smell of some provider's blood in the water starts a feeding frenzy.  I saw one attack on the LA Board last month that was just disgraceful.

In the beginning of TER, there were some really smart, creative, humorous and experienced guys on this board.  I got to know many of them and they were good guys off the board as well.  But you know what?  Not a single one of them posts anymore, even though they still see providers.  I could list about a dozen or more names that used to be the pillars of this online community, but I guarantee you that none of today's members would recognize any of them.

Little by little, each one of them finally reached his limit and just threw in the towel.  Their departure was our great loss.  But like so many things in life, the "early adopters" tend to be a special bunch.  Whereas the ones that follow, well... they're the subject of this thread.

As for me, I still stop by once or twice a month to see if the momentum has shifted back toward a more civilized tone- it hasn't in my opinion.  I guess the lesson I learned from all this is that it takes diligence on the part of the well-intentioned members to monitor what's going on and to keep things positive, constructive and respectful.  We used to do this as a group, then one by one those people got chased off the board.  You've described the results.  

Aside from the recent attacks on well known providers, I found out what it was like to post as an "unknown" on the LA Board last year.  I stopped by to see what was being discussed and decided to end my moratorium on posting, but I used a different name.  As an unrecognized poster, I was basically run off the boards and quit posting for a year.  Life is simnply too short to argue with morons.  From my standpoint, the funny thing was I didn't say anything different than I had in hundreds of previous posts I made back in the day, but I was shocked at the different reaction my comments received.  So I guess we get what we deserve on this board, and only we can change the tone.  I'm glad to see your post at least provoked some positive comments to think about and wasn't also attacked.  



-- Modified on 12/14/2005 12:25:10 AM

Wish I could have had the opportunity to continue the discussion in mail.

Please stay around. We need more gentlemen.

Smiles and Kisses,
Anneke

as usual your observations are right on the mark.

Check your email...

I agree with your thoughts Anneke but I have very little hope that anything will change anytime soon.  

At about this same time last year we were having a series of dramas in the chatrooms and on the Los Angeles Discussion Board.  I made a post about showing a little more self restraint in what we said in chat and on the boards.  Interestingly enough the comments that I received both publicly and privately from some of the ladies and gentlemen was that they wanted to say exactly what they wanted to say and let the chips fall where they may.  It was not a surprise that these people seemed to often be involved in the little TER dramas. It is now a year later and some of these same people are the ones involved in the current dramas.  They can  actually be very nice people but I just don't see them changing their ways anytime soon.

The link below is to that thread from a year ago.



-- Modified on 12/14/2005 2:55:15 AM

-- Modified on 12/14/2005 2:56:56 AM

the oTHer BoArD recently. Now, there's a pack of thespians for ya.

I live in Tampa. I stay far away from that site after what happened with operation flea collar some years ago. It's bad enough you know who reads the Florida discussion boards and the reviews. Why be noticed twice?

It really doesn't matter what the other guys are doing anyway. What all of this debate boils down to is the lack of respect folks have for each other these days. These days? Yep, sounds like an old codger making those remarks. LOL And, I probably am one in some of the younger member's minds but life does teach you a few things if you pay attention along the way. Before I break into Aretha Franklin's version of the song let's put this topic to rest. Notice that the thread didn't go on forever like the one about the cat fight. THAT in itself should tell you how many people here give a patootie about being respectful on these boards. I rarely go in the chat rooms. Someone emailed me the transcript of that catfight the next morning because they were upset it happened. So, I miss all the drama most of the time. Many thanks for all your PM's and emails. Tells me that there are a few brave souls out there who would like to see this become a forum who intelligent, thoughtful and titillating dialogue. We're just in the minority. I'm of the opinion that you can be VERY naughty and nice at the same time. So, those of you who enjoy naughty AND nice, stay in touch and Happy Holidays to all.

Smiles and Kisses,
Anneke

Since I don't go to chat and I don't personally know the participants involved I am not invested in the issue. I would like to say, however, how impressed I am with much of the discussion on this board. The articulate responses to questions, the well-phrased best wishes or condolences, and the humor are simply astonishing in their quality. One little flurry of attacks by a small group shouldn't negate the overall effectiveness of the board, or diminish the stature of its participants.

You nailed it.

The board is definitely full of slayers lately. I guess it's even left me feeling like I don't want to post here anymore. We've even got people trying to correct our spelling, then they get mad if we joke back with them. Gees!  There's definitely some very mean people mixed in with those that are fun and thought-provoking.

Hugs,
Ciara