How do you tell a lady you've been seeing regularly for the past 7-8years that you're ready to move on?
Her sessions just don't do anything for me
anymore and I've been seeing other providers who provide much better sessions. I saw her last night after she called to find out how I was doing. My last session with her was about 4 month's ago, I used to see her regularly every week and then it dropped to once a month and then every month and now it seems like it's once every 4 months.

The session last night just did not do anything for me and it will probably be my last. I've tried to just drop off the face of the earth but she calls if she has not seen me in a while. I really think she would be hurt if I told her directly to her face.    

If she calls me, I just have a conversation without making an apt. If it starts bothering me, I would then change my phone number.

In general, providers should not call their clients unlesss aked to do so.

I do not think any providers would be hurt when some of their regulars leave them as I believe they know that is part of their business (as they see many others without asking us for a permission!!).

It's admirable that you are struggling with this lady's feelings, but you should remember your initial motivation on why you began to hobby.  My guess, like most of us, is we were looking for good hanky panky w/ beautiful women.  Notice the pural:  women, not woman.  

I've been hobbying for a couple of years and there are some ladies that you simply feel comfortable with - and you start seeing them often.  Then, like most relationships, the "newness" wears off.  Unless you are in this to form a relationship (good luck!), the passage of time and the provider "not doing anything for me" are clear signs that it's time to move on.

Now, I'm not say to be callous and fall of the face of the earth.  The same passage of time may well have etched a special place in her heart for you, and you her.  But the bottom line is that this is a business.  If it's not working for you, why throw more money at it?

My suggestion:  talk to her.  Hell, she may feel the same way but continues to see you because you help her business.  She may rue the loss of your company, the loss of your $$$ will also hurt her.   If she's good, she'll find another wallet to replace you.  Those of us that like to make a connection with providers sometimes believe that we are much more important to a provider than we really are.  Trust me, she'll get over you.  Talk to her courtiously, politely, but firmly.  Move on.

Good luck.

it is a two-way street.  I have been dumped by providers as well without so much as a goodbye.  

Life can be cruel and unfair.  So be it.

never happened to me, even when I arrive at her door Fat, and Bald, with a light bulb in my ear.

or girl friend.  Why cause yourself such angst? "Hand wringing" ISN'T what the hobby is about.

Reid you forget why you started doing this?

Not all gents are "hobbyists" by your definition of the term! Some married guys are really interested in an "extra-marital" affair but, being afraid of getting caught, seek a safer haven with a single "professional" provider.

This is a difficult situation. Every provider I  have seen, save one, has left me with "I hope to see you again" line. I think they are somewhat sincere but it is a business. My barber hopes to se me again too.

I agree with an earlier comment. Tell the provider you moving on. It resolves it and should halt the future phone calls.

TOMC

IMHO, having a long term tryst w/ one woman is more dangerous than with many.  Many you can explain as clients; being spotted w/ the same person all the time .... hello, what's going on here?

Still, I concede that some married men prefer one on the side rather than many.  It still does not change the premise of my thoughts:  unless you planned on the woman on the side replacing the wife, there will come a time when you must ask yourself how the woman on the side is any different than your wife.  After all, did not an old sage once state something about familiarity breeding contempt?

and don't want to be anyone's wife.

Hugs,
ciara

I've read the other replies to your thread and I have to say that I don't think that anybody's advice to you is wrong.My question to you is how do you feel about keeping her as just a friend? I've developed a special bond with my steady lady that I've seen for almost a year and I think I could deal with her not having sex with me anymore better than I could deal with losing her as a friend.I'm assuming that after seeing her 7-8 yrs.there has to be a special friendship between you two.The fact that you're worried about hurting her feelings says that pretty clearly.Having said that,I don't think that dropping off the face of the earth is the right answer.It's a very cold thing to do to someone who seems to have been very good to you,plus she might get worried that something happened to you.My advice is to tell her your feelings but ask if the two of you can remain good,close friends.Like another post said,if she's good,she'll replace your cash easily.But replacing you as a friend might be the tough part for her.Hopefully,she'll understand.Good luck!

You have the PERFECT alias!... lol--(dingaling a-ha-ha.  I LOVE it Please see the supreme shrink's (Sigmund F's)advice below. Simple & to the point! (PS: I really do understand! I'm too damn sensitive as well.) Been there, done that(:-{

-- Modified on 3/11/2006 2:39:45 PM

Dropping of the face of the earth seems unnecessary.  Just tell her that your feelings for her have wound down to that of a good friend.  

If she keeps calling or begging you for business after explaining this to her, then I would drop off the face of the earth.

Kate

For me I guess it will be one for the ages.

By the way, I've heard that women dig guys like you.

Also, seeing 1 professional once in a while for a few hrs. makes not a wife !!

Without exception, honesty is the best policy. A true provider knows that the 'companion relationship' is temporary at best. If you've been seeing this gal for this long, she also knows that things are getting ordinary and not extraordinary. Most providers want client satisfaction. If it's no longer "there"; move on. I'm sure your provider will understand. Just do it!

...I think I've been dumped by at least two...maybe 14...I'll have to check.