as Superchicken was wont to say.

She had no business agreeing to an overnight unless she was willing to do the morning wake up call which is always part of the deal.

I remember being with one gal and we did a wake up call, then had a nice breakfast and I started to leave.  She said:  "Where the hell to do think you're going?"  Then led me back up to the room and banged me better than the last four rounds.

Now, that's the kind of gal to do an overnight with!

Dear Betty:
I am sure there are a lot of things that transpire in your mainstream life that can effect you alter ego. With that said depending on who the client is and for how long that you are in town could you tell them that you might need to reschedule so that you can give them you full professional and undivided attention? Although you are getting paid, making sure that you address the personal issues whether they be medical or otherwise makes it easier to be the sensual thespian that we all come to know and love.  After all you don't merely want to be know as a mechanical concubine.

I would especially like to hear from providers on this, since I am trying to understand this situation.

I live in a remote part of the country and need to drive into the next state to see providers who aren't even all that plentiful in this little gambling town.  My wife is away for an extended trip and I met a gal last month who I arranged to see four times this month, at my home.  She is a very limited, UTR part-time provider with a full time job.  So far, she has been able to get up to my place for a couple of overnights.

She says she doesn't feel like an escort when she visits, which is good, but feels uncomfortable at what she calls the intimacy of being with a guy for such a long period of time.  She has some psychological walls that she volunteers are "there for a purpose".  None of this got in the way of our mutual enjoyment until the morning following an overnight when I sought my release in some manner to begin the new day.  She said she felt gassy and bloated and didn't feel like doing anything.  I didn't ask for penetration or even oral, but when I told her I wanted to hold her and kiss her while I stroked off, she kind of went off of me.  

Although I am paying her a modest sum per trip, given its an overnight, she makes quite a bit during the month, coming here four times.  Given the circumstances of this engagement, at what point does sex become consensual?  Her attitude is that I am going to get plenty of good sex, just don't demand it at times when she isn't in the mood.  This coupling is starting to feel like real life, and that's good and bad.

OK, folks, especially providers, who wants to weigh in?

I think she only she's you when it benefits her onl. Her rent/mortage, some other bill is due, or she needs money to buy something she really wants, so she'll come see you. Since she does not need any money at the time she does not want to see you.

Also you since you're starting to fall for her, and no longers wants to see you

She's being paid by you for sex (also companionship) and unless she's got a really good reason she shouldn't say "no," unless she's actually ill.  But I am concerned with your statement, "at what point does sex become consensual?"  I'm not really sure what you mean, but sex is always consensual whether with a provider or a civvie.  Non-consensual sex is called rape.

Which seems to resemble the wife experience.  And for this the OP gets to pay for the "full" treatment which includes...headaches, tired, "I'm not doing that" and all the extra's generally reserved for the wife who is out of the house.

And I suspect he is not suggesting a rape of this gal...just that it's not consensual 'cause she ain't felling all that well

Maybe the OP shouldn't be so fucking cheap and pay this gal something closer to market.  And I would expect that his gal pal wouldn't be quite so tired or bloated or whatever else she was feeling...which meant not fucking him!

what I meant was not that I wanted non-consensual sex, as in rape, for God's sake, but consensual in the respect that my wife and I only do it when we both WANT sex, but I am sure escorts have sex when they don't necessary want it, but do it because they are getting paid and its expected of them.

-- Modified on 1/13/2012 12:21:44 PM

8-12k
Sounds like the incentive is the problem...maybe?

move on to a gal that will play with you when YOU want it.  This isn't a girlfriend or wife situation...it's P4P and you did say you paid her something (although from your OP not enough to keep her interested).

So go and find one that will be interested enough to play on your timeframe.  If she is any good (as Chloe suggested) she will accomodate with some level of enthusiasm.

Otherwise just ask the wife to give you the service this gal is giving you.  And it's cheaper that way.  Just think, with the bucks you save on the wifey deal you can afford to find a P4P gal that will actually perform.

So for God's sake dump this gal and find another...NOW!

Girlfriend for too long experience.  Now it's love...

As a rule I make myself be in my best "on" mode when I am working.  No matter how much time is involved. ie: 1 hour or a weekend rendezvous.

If your provider "not being in the mood" happens all the time, then if I were you, I would not be happy.  On the other hand, if this was an isolated incident.  And she truly did not feel well.  I would ask you to please give her a break.  We are all human.  And sometimes if we wake up feeling like crap.  When you don't feel well, especially first thing in the morning, even snuggling with someone while they are 'stroking one off' can be difficult.  

So I guess my answer is two fold.  In my opinion, if you are a provider, and you are getting paid to provide a service, you should do your best to provide what your client wants the entire time you are together.  Either that, or come up with some guidelines you can both agree on.  On the flip side, if you are a provider, and wake up feeling like crap, I hope you have a decent, understanding client who will cut you a little slack.  

Best, Betty xoxoxo

If I have something in my personal life that transpires to the point that it affects my mood, I am very accomplished at removing myself from it for the time being.  Unless it is something major.  In general I don't think there is anything wrong with dismissing small things that may affect my mood.

The main point of my post is that I never allow my personal issues to affect my time with a client in a negative way.  That being said, I will have plenty of time to address or deal with it later.  It is up to me to embrace the negative or turn it into a positive.  There is a time and place for everything.  When I am with a client, it is a time of happiness and fun.  I know I am making him happy.  That in turn makes me feel happy.  Everyone's happy!   Honestly, I am usually very happy. So this is rarely (if ever) an issue for me.

Furthermore, I do not think that putting your best face forward makes you a mechanical concubine.  I think it is something we all do every day under different circumstances.  ie: If I am a sales rep and I have a fight with my spouse, shoud I take that to work with me?  No.  The same goes for being a provider.  We all have down days.  But when I am working, I don't allow myself to feel down.  That doesn't mean the session will be mechanical.  It just means that I choose to be happy and forget about anything else during the time I am with my clent.  

Regarding medical issues....like I said in my original post, if that's the case; "I hope [I] have a decent, understanding client who will cut [me] a little slack."  

Best, Betty xoxo  

Hi Betty, very nice posts. i agree with your view . do you visit florida ?

But if I ever do, I hope to see you there sometime!

Kisses, Betty xoxo