I am curious on how others here feel about the faked provider orgasm.  I know there has been much discussion about this and of course I understand not all are faked (I am trying hard to not over generalize).  However, I was with a very sexy provider over the weekend and I am pretty sure I experienced a fabrication.  Like most here I have enough experience in the civie world (plus 15 years of marriage) to know that it normally takes more than 2 minutes to get someone off.

Don’t get me wrong.  I believe it ads tremendously to the experience when the provider is completely engaged in the session.  In fact, that is one of my favorite parts.  In fact, this past weekend as the 2 hour session went on I believe a real orgasm may have occurred later as we went hot and heavy for almost 40 straight minutes (comparing the 2 is how I came to the conclusion that the first one was fake).

I would be interested in hearing how you guys and providers feel about this subject.  For the guys, do you prefer a good faith effort (even if faked)?  And ladies – how about some truth on this subject about whether most session orgasms are real or actually just good (or in some cases bad) acting for our benefit.

As for me, I would prefer a more genuine experience.  On the other hand, I do appreciate the sincere effort that a provider makes to create a positive experience in situation where that’s easier said than done.

Boy, that is a tough one.  

Everyone who has had more than one partner realizes an orgasm is the most intimate of things shared with another.  Not only are they different from woman to woman, but can also differ in intensity with the same woman from session to session.

I have had the range of orgasms of partners that go from both extremes and everything in between.  

I have had them climax so quietly that there was virtually no sound and very little body movement.  This was with my wife so I know she was not faking (she didn't worry enough about my ego to fake anything!).

At the other end of the spectrum, I have been with women who, when they came, they came so hard they screamed and went into an almost convulsive state with uncontrolled muscle contractions of her whole body.

Sometimes you can do the same exact physical thing with your partner and she gets a nice "release" orgasm and another time you think the world is coming to an end it is so intense for her.  The only thing that changed between the two experiences was her frame of mind at the time.

It takes me a while and many experiences with a woman before I would be comfortable knowing if she had an orgasm or not.  

Like many guys, I get a lot of pleasure from pleasing a woman as that heightens the experience incredibly for me (perhaps because for so many years of my married life I never got that feedback).

I know this is not a direct answer to your question, but sometimes I think men place far too much emphasis on the orgasm of their female partner. It  is understandably difficult for them to grasp the concept that we enjoy sex and intimacy in a very distinct way from men -

For most of us, it does not always have to culminate with an intense release of "energy." This applies to civvie and professional relationships alike. A little element of spontanaeity is imperative and nothing kills the spark of a possible orgasm on the proverbial horizon more than a lover repeatedly asking if you've climbed that summit yet - did you come? It puts undue pressure on the situation.

That said, it's entirely possible that your 2 minute partner was faking...then again, if there was a lot of erotic tension involved, who knows? Maybe that short period of time was all it took to push her over the edge.

Maybe that's one of the beautiful things about women, we're mysteries - sometimes even to ourselves .

Glad you enjoyed the experience with your second partner. Sounds like it made up for any disingenuous behavior on the part of the first date.

Have fun!

I like to refer to it as a CFO (credible fake orgasm).

One of my biggest pet peeves are providers who feel the need to pathetically moan from the start. As soon as you begin to have sex, they start screaming with unbridled passion and telling you how great you are and how wonderful your big cock feels inside of them (hello...I've only been inside you for 3 frickin seconds and since I am just now starting to enjoy the sex, it couldn’t possibly be that good for you at this early juncture). This continues throughout the entire time and then miraculously they feel the need to cum loudly when you do. Give me a break.

For me, one of the keys to being a great provider in this respect is to give the hobbyist a credible fake orgasm. Let him know that it feels good (stroke his ego if it doesn’t feel good) and couple it with soft believable moans. When the hobbyist cums, it’s okay to moan louder, but don’t go overboard just to pretend you came. It will not come off as believable and will end the session on a bit of a down note.  

Since I'll never know if she was faking or not the only thing that is important is whether her show was credible. The good providers know just how to obtain this end.    


-- Modified on 1/7/2008 12:35:49 PM

the pendulum swings back and forth for me, don't know if it's the time of month or the weather or what. Mine are real, and almost always different levels of intensity.

While it is enjoyable for me to share in creating a provider's orgasm, my ego and my experience with her does not depend on it.  I happen to love sex and the mutual experience part of it and like to explore my partner and see what makes her excited.

However, I fully know that there are many providers for whom orgasms for themselves aren't part of their business model, and wow- look at the variety of strangers they see- how can you expect them to be sexually excited by every one!  Most of us aren't rock stars!

I've been lucky through research though to have found a number of very "real" providers who if they don't have an orgasm, don't fake it- they just try to make my experience as enjoyable as possible, and if they do, they let me know.  The ones who have let me know I've usually been pretty sure they've been real, but who knows for sure?  

My preference though honestly is that if a provider I'm seeing is not enjoying what I'm doing, I'd much rather them redirect me or turn to my pleasure than waste my time and theirs pretending.

and "Is it real or is it memorex?"

just two things that come to mind regarding this very complicated arena.

I would appreciated the honesty of a provider who admits that it's not going to happen for her while I enjoy the experience of making it happen. (Whether it does or not is another matter.)

So many angles, so little time to figure them all out.

If a man doesn't come at least once, for us the experience is "incomplete". I don't think it's the same for a woman. With or without an orgasm, women seem to be able to enjoy sex from start to finish. Sometimes, if you can just get her to laugh and giggle a bit, you may find that she is enjoying the experience just as much as if she'd had multiple orgasms. Please correct me if I'm wrong, ladies.

i humped a guy's leg for 45 seconds and got off while giving him a back massage.  i wasnt even attracted to him at all.

and ive had some other times where nonstop hours of great mindblowing sex didnt quite get me there.

and everything in between

dunno and dont care why cuz i'd rather just be doing it instead of analyzing or worrying about it.

when a guy hits the right spot, we'll both know.

until then, its a mystery and maybe its meant to be as i think a big part of the fun is the discovery process.

NK - just to clarify both the first and second experiences were with the same person on the same 2 hour session.  Her reaction on each was so different that is what led me to the conclusion that the 1st was most likely not authentic.  However, I did not mention anything at the time nor would I ever.

I agree with your point that asking her if she did is an equally uncomfortable situation.

the provider has a real orgasm or not because I respect her desire whether to let herself go or not.  IMHO, a person usually cannot have an orgasm unless they want to, and have the state of mind to connect with their partner.  I fully respect the wishes of the provider in this regard and do not gauge my experience with her on whether or not I was able to make her cum.  

I am very happy for her if she does, and if, during DATY, I think she is on the verge through swelling, responsiveness, or hint (grabbing my head and grinding my face in to her ) I will not stop until she either cums or pretends to.  If she cums, it is usually a nice time to move on through the experience; if she is faking, then she probably wants me to stop, which is a hint the other way, and I am happy to oblige.

Please don't get me wrong - I am very happy when a provider I am with has an orgasm.  However, if she is faking it, I do not hold it against her because she is either trying to heighten my experience, or she is giving me a hint to move on to another position or act.  Either way, I am usually happy, happy, happy.

I do care whether the woman I'm with is experiencing pleasure in what we are dong together. If she happens to O, that's just frosting on the cake. My worst fear is not that she won't O, but rather if she is pretending to enjoy our time together, when in reality, she can barely tolerate me. I'd like to believe I'm sensitive enough to pick up on it, but who knows.

For me it depends on how the planets are aligned..  Just kidding!  Although it could depend on that, because I can't give you an answer as to when/how/intensity.  I can tell you that I don't fake them.  Never had. If I am not enjoying what we are doing, I will say so and change things up a bit.  I can enjoy sex and not have the ultimate "o".  Other times I can be giving a bj, not being touched by anyone/anything and have an earth shattering, toe curling one.  I do know that once I have one, there are at least two more following.  I usually mention that upfront so that my client won't think I am faking it.  Like the wet spot doesnt give it away..  lol

Kari~~

but unlike you, I did ask the lady in question. She freely admitted the first one was for my benefit,and that the second was for her's. Like you she did not climax for real until about forty five minutes of rather intense efforts on both our parts. She did confide to me that she only climaxed on rare occasions, and that it usually took her at least forty five minutes to cum.

Needless to say, I walked around feeling rather studly for the rest of the day.

so far I'VE never had to fake it

I always assumed the provider's moans and o's were an act. Until I saw the huge wet spot. That didn't clue me into the others, but with my ATF, she leaves plenty of evidence on or near me.

I hear you GG!  There is a mission accomplished feeling when you get feedback like that somehow adds an additional level of positive feeling about a given session.  I really believe most guys feel the same way.  It is just in the hobby it can be more difficult to decipher truth from fiction.

Just out of curiosity, was it the first time you had seen that provider?  It was for me, but will not be the last.  That is for sure!  Perhaps having a few sessions in common with a given provider also makes this process more comfortable for all envolved.

Hardy,

First, I want to say that I think your posts and the attitude they convey are very refreshing in this little world of ours.  Thanks.

Second, and more importantly, no woman has ever faked with me!!  Sometimes they are screaming from the get go and climax exactly when I do, but I AM just that good in bed.

Back to the real world...
I agree, the (obvious) faking is a huge mood killer for me.  I know all women are different, but I've never met one that had a real orgasm within the first couple minutes of any kind of intimate contact.

On the other hand, the actual expression of a female orgasm, in my limited experience, can vary greatly.  Soft moans and slight tremors to screaming and pounding to the point the neighbors threaten to call the police if they don't hear her voice in 10 seconds (true funny story).

To sum up:
Women, we love you.  But please don't fake it unless you have some great acting chops and a realistic grasp of timing.

-- Modified on 1/7/2008 3:01:48 PM

"... but it will not be the last.  That is for sure!"

I am relatively sure this is one of the very reasons some providers in fact do feel the need to fake their Os.  If they can pull it off, and make us feel like the studs that we may not really be, then there is a higher likelyhood of repeat business.

The other reason I can think of is, as stated by others, that they would prefer the activities move on to something else.  This is our hint to change gears.

I certainly can't blame anyone for either reason, it is just a mood killer if the faux-gasm (new word) isn't performed on a Meg Ryan-esque level of credibility.

-- Modified on 1/7/2008 3:01:23 PM

-- Modified on 1/7/2008 6:45:00 PM

Men, haven't you been with a provider that it just didn't click or you were on your 2nd cup and were wearing IT out and just couldn't come and had had enough?  

I can honestly say I've done this a couple of times and, wearing a condom, I think I was able to pull off the big fake!! God, it's a bitch to get old!

Whenever I go to Costa Rica or anywhere else where I have a LOT of sex, I find myself unable to finish. Sometimes I think I'm still twenty and I can go 6-7 times a day, reality usually sets in after four or five cups and there's nothing left to shoot.
Oh, to be young again, but with the same resources I have today. lol

Wait until you get my age Gambler, after a good hour session, I need eight hours sleep and a bowl of Wheaties!!

This is a very interesting subject. I am from the school of thought that we should never fake anything in life. Living in Honesty is so much more fulfilling.

You might think that what I have to say is a little strange and I hope I can express myself clearly.

I feel there is alot of pressure for ladies to have orgasms in this buisness. There are alot of men who say that all they want is to see the lady have fun. Though this would seem like a gentlemanly thing to want and do, telling the lady you want her to come can be very unpleasant sometimes. There are no buttons to press to make it magically explose. When a man only wants me to cum it creates so much pressure that I will likely not cum. The reason I like sex is not because of the end result of orgasming, it is because of all the fun during the action. Concentrating on having mutual pleasure and being in the moment is so much better.

Keep in mind that ladies are different then men. I feel myself having LOTS of pleasure in all my encounters without looking to have an orgasm. without Needing an orgasm. Sex is fun and I feel sexual relationships can be very very fulfilling even if there is no climax. Yes of course, climax is good and in some cases we can get 'blue balls' too.

I do not believe in faking but sometimes all guys want is to make you have an orgasm. I have dissapointed many men who put too much pressure on me to cum and faking it was the only option to make them happy, because an orgasm would not have happened.

Sometimes, people think its a game-

if I know the chemistry isnt there.. Then I tell him what gets me off, and I do what gets me off...

The two together, well, it gets me off-

Lets face it, its all about Chemistry having the good  0 ..

We can't be too far apart, but let's see,an hour session followed by an eight hour nap and a bowl of wheaties, repeated three times a day sounds pretty good to me. lol

It still counts as a notch in the bedpost whether or not she enjoys it.

Besides I'd rather listen to them go on and on about how charming, funny, and good-looking I am. It's far better for my ego and far more believable.

I do my best and try to improve when ever I can. You just cant always please them all.

I am always open for coaching and encourage it...

I would love to think that every woman enjoyed herself. I would love to think that I had mad skills and I was an orgasm generating machine, but... sometimes it just isnt there...  

Maybe they had a bad day or their cat is sick or worse their baby... (no matter how old) I would hate to put that pressure on any woman to perform.

Don't you hate it when you are ten minutes away from cumming and there is only five minutes left?

To be very Germanically blunt...I am there for you. Your attitude is wonderful for a woman like me.

In my case...you are so correct...Give me the laughs and the giggles

To be honest, I don't care. And this doesn't mean I don't care if the woman experiences pleasure, but I am selfish when it comes to paying for a service. As in -- I usually get a woman off through just my natural instinct (Im certainly above average at this stuff..), but some of these girls aren't going to be attracted to me, or click with me, so they aren't going to get theirs... and thats ok.

This does not mean I won't DATY, or provide foreplay or other magic, it's just I'm not going to count their 'O' as some measurement of my prowess. If a girl looks at you and goes..oh hell no.. but has to go ahead and do her job, shes not going to cum, even if you preform that whole book of tricks in 'American Pie'.. Thanks if you got that reference.

Do I care if they fake it ? Not particulary. As long as they aren't making silly annoying noises, and they sound generally 'hot' it's just going to push my pleasure. I'm sure there are plenty of providers that have had legitimate ones, and plenty who have faked..

All of mine were real.. hehe

-M

we only like your llamas

I've never really thought too much about it. I got into this hobby years ago with street walkers and quickie hotel dates. The ladies never had orgasms or faked having orgasms and I didn't care.  I was just horny and looking to get off.

As I moved away from that scene and started using agencies and seeing indie girls I started to experience the phenomenon of the fake orgasm. Of course, I've also experienced plenty of real ones as well. What's the difference? How can you tell? Well, you just can. Some girls are just horrible actresses, others a pretty good ones. The thing you can't fake is the way you feel and act after an orgasm. It's hard to verbalize but I think you can just tell when a lady has had the real emotional and physical release that a good orgasm brings.  I've been very fortunate over the last three or four years to have found some steady ladies that enjoy sex and have multiple real orgasms. Oh yeah, one sure way to tell that the O is real is when she asks you to do it again!

I'd love to giggle with you sometime.

Boston, I always enjoy your posts but this one was really good.  

May I come along on your next adventure?  (I promise to stay out of sight and will be over in the corner taking copious notes!)

Seriously though, I am in total agreement with you about when you find that (those) special lady(s) and the chemistry between you is just so  incredible it makes all the Y2K fireworks pale by comparison.

But I always work alone....There wouldn't be much to take notes on honestly. The hardest part is finding the right gal. Once we are in the room together I just treat her like a lady and let her do her thing...LOL, I just go along for the ride and try not to screw up!

Thanks by the way.  I'm glad you enjoy the posts...

Though I find Meg Ryan so very hot, I don't think I could have O'd with her making all that racket. Too much noise is a big turn-off for me, unless it comes close to when we are both ready to O at the same time.

...Come to me you flame-haired vixen. I know you want me too, so stop pretending.