regularly every three months tested, treated if needed, and move on. Talk to your doctor for the best recommendation.
Unless you're 100% absolutely certain of your girlfriend's surprising gift, move on to the next session.Before everything, I'd like to state and I am very, very inexperienced in the world of sex. In general and especially in the escorting world.
I had a session with a TS provider who is fairly well reviewed here. 18 total reviews, 4 from the last year, going back to 2014. Multiple reviews on other review sites as well. I decided to go for it and had a session last week. The session itself was wonderful.
This is where my extreme inexperience comes in. I honestly cannot remember or tell if she was wearing a condom. I was bottom. I started freaking out and got PEP prescribed in less than 24 hours since encounter.
I know I made a mistake. I should have checked if she was definitely wearing one. That's all in the past now. I've been toiling over the stress. Would there be any value in contacting her again now to ask if she was wearing one at the time or if she's negative (especially HIV)? Would she even remember? Would it even be trustworthy? None of her reviews here mention BBFS (didn't pay for other sites so can't confirm there). Looking for some insight here. Thanks.
regularly every three months tested, treated if needed, and move on. Talk to your doctor for the best recommendation.
Unless you're 100% absolutely certain of your girlfriend's surprising gift, move on to the next session.
...would you believe her?
You're so worried about this that I imagine you wouldn't be satisfied with ANY answer that she gives you now.
You've taken some precautions and I think it would make sense to have a full panel STI. If you're this concerned about it, then only medically verifiable answers will probably convince you of what you need to know.
A difficult lesson to learn.
Buena suerte!
You are right in that even if she told me everything's fine, I still would not stop taking my PEP. But it sure would help ease my anxiety a whole lot. I just am not sure if messaging her now would be something prudent.
I have never known a TS provider to go in bare. Think about it… they have no idea whether you “cleaned up” back there prior to the encounter so they’re not going to risk getting shit in their urethra. No offense bro, but it’s an occupational hazard for them. Not saying it doesn’t happen but it would be highly unusual. As to whether it would be ok to call and ask if she uses a condom when she tops, that’s not something any provider should discuss over the phone. If it were me I’d schedule another session and have the conversation in person.
I see about discussing this kind of topic over the phone. Our initial communication method was via text so I was going to do that again, to the same number with the same number. My session was in a foreign city while I was traveling through, so it would not be possible for me to schedule another session and have the conversation in person. As per some other suggestions here I think I will try to carefully draft a message and engage over text...
I was also going to suggest another meeting and to pay close attention to the protocol without saying anything until you had to, e.g., uncovered insertion, and feeling at least some relief if the cover showed up without having to say anything at all. Except maybe, after the fact, to "casually" ask if she ever does BBFS (if you can make it sound like a Q and not request).
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Given the far away city problem, what about contacting some of the recent reviewers to ask about their experience. Once again, how to ask to be comfortable with their replies? (1) full disclosure, as you have done here, and ask about their experience (2) say you're planning to arrange a session but want to get their insight, specifically about her attitude towards BBFS -- (a) "threatened to end the session and throw me out when the subject came up" is a pretty good reply (b) "said it was an extra $200" is middling worrisome (c) "Is there any other way?" is the most worrisome.
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Good luck.
I see about discussing this kind of topic over the phone. Our initial communication method was via text so I was going to do that again, to the same number with the same number. My session was in a foreign city while I was traveling through, so it would not be possible for me to schedule another session and have the conversation in person. As per some other suggestions here I think I will try to carefully draft a message and engage over text...
take a deep breath. Inhale... hold it for a second or two and exhale.
Second, allow me to state it is totally okay that you are not the most experienced when it comes to physical intimacy in general and the escorting world. We all come into our own bodies, sexuality, etc., at different times... you may just be taking a moment or two longer to blossom.
Third, I am not a health expert nor do not claim to be one, I would argue that the provider in question was engaging with you in a way that was safe and preventative for both parties. I make no judgements regarding colleagues who provide BBFS; however, I would argue most do not as a preventative measure. And if she did offer BBFS, a reviewer would have screwed up by now and said something. Therefore, if I were you... I would wait about 30 days after the engagement and go to my Primary Care Physician or local free clinic (where you do not have to provide your insurance) and ask for a full STD/STI battery.
However, if you absolutely need to know and you need to know soon; you can reach out to ask the provider. Providers are pretty good at remembering clients. We may not keep screening info but many do keep notes on clients. If you do reach out, ensure that you do so in a way that is inquisitive and NOT accusatory. Make sure you're inquiry comes across as a genuine question. Maybe something along the lines of, "Hi (insert their name). I had a great time with you and I've been replaying our session over and over again in my mind. I know you are a consummate professional; however, everything was a blur to me in the a good way and I just want to ensure that we used protection."
TLDR: give it a couple weeks and go get tested or email her...
Thank you for the thoughtful response. I am definitely getting a full panel screening in 2 or 3 weeks. Most STDs are fully treatable so I'm not too worried on that front, except HIV obviously, and that's the one that's eating away at me. Just knowing if she used protection would ease my anxiety a lot. I don't know how much of what she tells me I can trust. Regardless of her answer I am not taking myself off of PEP medication. But I think carefully drafting a message along the lines of what you suggested is the best bet on getting an honest response from her. I will do that and hope it works out.
...and receiving sex. From the way you described the provider, she sounds like she is a responsible provider who knows the risks and very likely took the proper precautions.
The reason I mentioned my provider's reviews is because she had enough reviews, and enough recent reviews for me to decide to go with her. I cannot speak to anything beyond that.
Rasputin4President's response above makes sense to me. She does not possibly know what I may have. Even in the case that she knows she is HIV positive and does not care about that particular one, that is not applicable for other STDs. And although there may be some monetary benefit to letting me go bare on her, I cannot see any benefit - monetary or otherwise - for her to decide to go bare on me.
It's very late where she is. I'm still considering messaging her to ask about it...