so for those hobbyist that will own up to no showing or flaking, why do you do it?

Flakes, Bait and Switches, and girls with smelly snatches....

Why do you girls do this....? Got any answer? There will always be unprofessional people on both sides of the equation...

To quote the rookie phenom, Bryce Harper....

"That's a clown question girl.."

I had exchanged some email with a provider that I had seen several times.  I had quit seeing her, and I told her why.  It was a combination of things about me and about her service offerings that left me feeling like I wasn't getting value for my investments, some of it caused by some ED issues I was experiencing.

She was sympathetic to my issues, and we had some ongoing exchanges, where she offered some advice and sympathy.  I sent her a gift out of appreciation.

I touched base a couple of months after last seeing her, and she said she missed seeing me.  I over thought that simple statement in the context of the overall discussions we had had, and thought she was opening a door to something more than a client/provider relationship.

So I suggested we get together again for another date, and suggested I take her to dinner for a relaxed environment where we could catch up.  She was very interested.  But we hadn't discussed gifts, and she didn't have dinner/date info on her website, so I thought I should open the conversation about the gift.

Her response was all about figuring out how much time she would be spending and calculating a fair price.  Her price was absolutely fair/market rate, but I was set back because I thought that she might come back with an OTC offer for the dinner.

So I backed out, because my expectations were deflated, and I felt like I was getting myself into another expensive evening where I walk away sexually frustrated,  and kicking myself for getting into the situation by not thinking correctly.

She quit answering my emails.  I can only read between the lines about what she is upset about, and I don't blame her for being pissed.   I sent an apology, but I crossed a line that I can't cross back over I guess.  I am mad at myself about it, because I really did like her as a person.  I do feel total banishment is a little harsh, but live and learn.

I had a very popular TER provider cancel on me less than one hour before our meeting on a Monday. We rescheduled for a Tuesday and they bailed on me again. I canceled my plans with friends and family to see this person and they just blew me off. I doubt I will ever call them again, but hey what do they care they have customers lined up around the block. Inconsiderate people come in all shapes, sizes and sexes. People do it because they are selfish.

J

I am a VERY low volume provider who mainly works mon to fri 10-4p

Once I have chosen to play with a gent, I stick to it unless it is a life and death emergency

I do not flake, I get myself worked up in my mind to see the guy, and so I am hot an horny for them..

If I flake, then its masturbating for me no fun..

But today I have had some REALLY rude guys who flaked on me... and it makes it hard for me, as I said I am low volume, so if a guy does this, it REALLY messes me up, because I do not usually book same day...

It sucks

I had a well reviewed lady I was looking forward to seeing...  I called to get the address & she didn't pick up, no appology, just radio silence.  i wasted a opportunity on her.   So she's off of my bucket list.  At this point, I would not waste an opportunity to play on her, even if it was free.  It didn't have to be ths way, just answer your phone the first time & say plans have changed.

You have reviews from 2001. So you have been doing this for at least 11 years, and you sound like someone just started that just started yesterday.

You should be really mentoring/advising newbies, and not bitching about a John that didn't show up.

Yes it happens, and it happens to both guys an girls.

That's the only 2 reasons that I can think of. I am curious as to why providers would flake. It happened to me couple of time and it's probably going to happen to my tomorrow appointment. I suspect it's because of more money.

taking a break for a few years here and there?


I dont care how long a woman is in this business, it doesnt mean that guys who flake and pull no shows should not bother a provider!

Oh so according to you, the longer I am in the business, the more I should shut up about rude guys, who have no respect or consideration for my time? I should just shut up and take it?

I say bull shit

I think a woman who has a good rep and doing this as long as I have should be treated just as respectfully if not more so if she has proven herself as others. and guys who pull this crap should be outed to other providers, so they also do not waste time with men who do this...

just like you men out flake providers, we should be able to complain and do the same!

I think that there are legitimate reasons for someone to cancel, but we all know that we are sometimes passed up for a better thing. This scenario can go both ways between providers and clients.  This business is driven by selfishness and greed. Very few people put respect and considerate behavior first. I vote with my choice of provider and if you cancel on me I will probably not call you back.

J

Once I came down ill on my way to meet her.  Bad food for lunch and had to pull the car over; throwing up along side the road.

Once I had been putting in 20 hr days for about 10 days straight and made the mistake of "taking a quick nap"; slept for 16 hrs instead of the 2 I had intended.  Slept right through the alarm.

The other was a date I set up for the evening I got into town and the airlines cx'd my connecting flight leaving me stranded 1500 miles away.  That's why I no longer like to schedule the day I am supposed to fly into a city.

I had to cancel because I had a last minute business trip dropped on me. Unfortunately, I couldn't rebook because the emergency turned into a disaster and I lost my job.

To make matters worse, I let my ter membership lapsee because I couldn't hobby and so I didn't get a couple of messages from her. When I finally got back in the game after finding a new job, it was too late and she didn't return my messages of apology. I'm pretty sure that I'm on her dns list.

Sometimes, stuff just happens.

For a session around 6 or 7 pm.  And work got so insane, I plain forgot.

Insanely embarrassing.  Provider never contacted me, but I knew her well, so it wasn't as if she would have gone crazy doing this.  Apologized profusely, told her I would pay for the session.

She said not to worry about it (I'm still paying for the missed session next time I see her), but it was all my fault.

On the other hand, I had a provider who I know very well flake last night with no response after lots of emails and texts, but she had a family emergency the night before, and so I suspect I will hear from her today or later.  No need to assume the worst.  She is a wonderful human being, and things do come up.  Her family emergency certainly falls into that category.

I had a rocking time with a provider that loved doing doubles.  I had seen her twice, and both times she brought up the subject, so I suggested that the next time we meet, she bring along her favorite girlfriend.

I was totally pumped for the experience (had/have never done it).  I went out and bought matching outfits for the girls, to accentuate the "team" sport event of the night.

We confirmed the time and location the day before the date, and I was waiting breathlessly like a high school kid prepping for a prom date, itching for the girls to show up.

A half hour after the appointed time I get a text from the provider saying she wasn't up for it that night, she was feeling too down.  I knew she was having some family issues and was stressing out about it.  I thought she might be feeling really lonely and depressed so I sent her a heart felt text saying that I understand, and if she needed someone to just talk to I would happy to listen.

No response.

About 3 hours later I get a call.  She had opened up my text message (I am guessing) and inadvertently called me with realizing it.  I hear her laughing and partying, obviously in the middle of a session.  I cannot adequately describe how much of a chump that made me feel like.

I later learned the provider is mentally ill.  Bipolar, manic/depression, or something along those lines.  That takes some of the sting out of being so thoroughly dissed, but not all of it.



-- Modified on 8/18/2012 11:07:10 AM

Most of the providers in my area area 30 to 45 minute drive away. I like morning appointments and both times I've been cancelled on the ladies stayed up too late either providing or partying. The first lady offered me a small discount then when we finally rescheduled she sent me to the wrong address. When we finally got together we were about an hour late in getting started. She said she would do a quicky and refund some of my $$$. The quicky turned into a full hour. She handed me the envelope to me on my way out and I was shocked to see she only took 1/3 of her donation. I had another flake the other day. Text and call no response. Finally 1/2 hour after our start time she calls and said she overslept but coud be ready in 15 minutes. In the meantime I texted some fav's and one said she would be ready in 20 minutes. I told the first lady I've already committed to another. She sounded sad but IMO it's her fault. Had a great time with plan B and when I got home I saw a text from the first lady offering a big discount and extra time if I gave her another shot. She has since posted an ad with more pics that were less than flattering and I'm now thinking thank god she overslept. LOL what a life!

But I can see why she won't see you again. You seem want more than she can give outside a business relationship and you wanted, no, expected  otc time and failed to respect that she is running a business.

You even mentioned that you did not see dinner date rates and proceeded to ask about the gift but was "hurt" when she gave you a very reasonable rate. This is her business. If a lady wants to give otc, she will be very clear about it. She is possibly wanting to keep things all business so you don't get the wrong idea that there might be more...well you did anyway.

I guess she might see you as too high maintenance or cheap, hence her total banishment.

a cheaper option came along before you got to town. I now require deposits because of so much bs. I am no longer in need of touring to make the money I need, so fk it. Too many asswhipes have ruined it for the rest. I will only see regular clients without a deposit now, because if a guy is too cheap to pay a deposit that says he is not sure about if he can make it. Well, then I am not sure that I can make it either lol.

So far, there's always someone ready to take my money.

I always heavily tip, and she was no exception.  That is why she missed seeing me, the money is good.  That was the reason I told her I wouldn't see her again, because she indicated she was going to make some changes in her life financially, and I wanted to give her a heads up not to expect the cash flow she had been accustomed to.  

I am sure you are correct about her perception of me being high maintenance and expecting more that she was willing to give emotionally.  But in my own self defense, she did say a number of things that made me think she was interested in me outside of the hourly rate.  Words are inexact, especially when written and you don't experience the emotional context behind their presentation.  

Sometimes it is difficult to separate where the GFE experience ends and the accountants take over, especially when you are engaged in personal discussions and intimate physical bonding.   This sort of thing is not an exact science.

I disagree that I expected more, its more of a situation where I incorrectly thought she was offering more and it piqued my interest.  I wouldn't have offered to see her again at that time had it not been for what I perceived as an invitation.   My bad.

The reason that I thought she would offer OTC time is because I spent about a day doing technology work for her just to help her out.  She was appreciative of the work.  So when she said she missed seeing me, in context of all of the other "non business" communication we had had, I had a reasonable expectation that she wouldn't look at spending time talking to me over dinner as a business transaction that she needed to get paid for.  Sometimes you have to invest in your customers to maintain good relations and secure future business, which is why I claim my expectation was reasonable.

I was wrong about the expectation, but saying I failed to respect she is running a business is off base.  The reason I mentioned that I was disappointed when she offered a fair rate is because just in the course of normal human relationships, when someone does something for you, you should reciprocate.  Just because your business is sexually framed doesn't relieve you of the need to have common courtesy, show gratitude for favors, or reciprocate

That doesn't mean that everyone does honor that, or see the wisdom of doing it (from a customer relations perspective, if not from the good manners perspective).  She didn't, and that is what set me back.   I am not saying she owed it to me, just that I thought she wanted to reciprocate my kindness and generosity with a little of her time, and was disappointed when she didn't.

And as far as being cheap goes, I am not, and she was the benefactor of my generosity.  I think the reason she said she missed me is because she missed that generosity.  

All that being said, I get your point, and I think that is exactly how she looked at it.