Since most men in the real world are not gentleman, how are most hobbyists gentleman? Do providers have to reject 50+% of prospects because they are not gentleman? I'd like to think that providers choose to see me for more than just my $$$. Or do providers really take anyone who can show the $$$?

My definition of gentleman is someone who is able to put himself in other person's shoes. Frankly I find few men in the real world are capable of this. Most are controlling and selfish and do not like to read/obey rules.

I certainly try to be.

Professional, too.  I like civility, respect, orderliness, and so on. Things I equate with being a gentleman. It don't see that in many men. That's all.

are real goods chaps as well. I think they have a more respectful attitude toward women too. If I go to a bar with male colleagues, the speak more disrespectfully of women than my hobby friends. I think thats the opposite of the stereotype.

If "most" hobbyists  are gentlemen they sure don't go to strip clubs.

I have asked why.

Civvies spent last 30 years taking any man worth having to cleaners and as result created new breed of male - Man Who Is Afraid To Commit Or He Will Loose Half His Shit.

So these days civvies are so desperate to get a boyfriend, ANY boyfriend and get married that they no longer demand romance, they don't expect flowers and attention, then jump into bed without even knowing their date's last name.

Prostitutes on another hand screen heavily for safety and compatibility, have various ways to deal with less than gentlemanly behavior and can easily make someone's life rather uncomfortable.

Welcome to the alternate universe, where sex workers have more respect for themselves than so called honest women.

I think the percentage of gentlemen in the real world is echoed with clients. I also think that girls do not have as high a rejection rate as 50+%. While I do not think all girls take any client who can show money, I also do not think that they are as particular as some may make themselves out to be.

Although I will agree that different regions have different personalities, for the most part
I have to say that I have met MORE GENTLEMEN in this industry than in the civie world.
On my website has an etiquette page so anyone who takes interest in a date can clearly see that I am
concerned about who I come to meet. Cooperative gentlemen who take care of themselves and
do not show up with an attitude who are able to have some kind of communication with me before we
meet so that we can get a feel for each others personality is a deal breaker for us both . If he were controlling, forceful or selfish , yes I met a local or two back several years ago, who ripped me off who were very established so called gentlemen but it keeps a lady on her toes.  

-- Modified on 2/6/2012 6:16:42 PM

Depends on who you talk to. Some people don't have the highest expectations while others insist on being respected and won't see someone who can't be respectful... for any amount of compensation.

My clients are gentlemen. They are kind, and considerate. Our time is a shared experience and the moment that stops, they will no longer be my client. No amount of compensation is worth being treated badly... At least that's how I feel.

A lady once told me that the guys who can afford to pay several hundreds of dollars an hour for a date aren't exactly deadbeats and almost always have their shit together. In order to have their shit together in this economy, they must either follow the rules or break the rules.

With proper screening, the lady can weed out the ones that don't have glowing references. A popular lady in the west coast has told me that she has only met 1 guy who was getting a bit worrisome but never crossed any boundaries. The impression I got from some of these ladies in this business is that they have more control over who they wish to see and don't wish to see again.  

More mature men tend to be more mature (DUH!)  The older and grayer they are, the less they give a shit about winning an argument for the sake of winning but focus more on maintaining a good relationship.
The older and grayer they are, the less likely they will be getting themselves into trouble.

You start off with your post stating "Since most men in the real world are not gentleman" it can only be assumed that (and assuming you're a provider) you already have a "chip on your shoulder" when a "gentlemen" comes a calling.  Could it be that you reply with some attitude to an inquiry, which in turn puts the John on the defensive?

Another comment you make is "Most are controlling and selfish and do not like to read/obey rules" which again begs the question of how you are presenting yourself to your prospective customers?  If you are a gal who is looking for quick appointements, you indeed are marketing to a specific market.  And indeed those fellas may have NO interest in getting to know you, and are there to do the deed...nothing more.  Can these fellas be "gentlemen" based on your definitions...sure!  But it seems that you have already decided that they are not, and in all likelihood diss them as such.

The ladies that I tend to gravitate to are kind, caring, professional and business like in how they market and handle themselves.  If indeed they don't meet MY criteria there will not be a meeting.  And I have found that by finding gals that meet MY criteria I have not yet been disappointed.  Perhaps you might want to look at what types of customers you are indeed striving to meet, and market yourself to that goal.

And hopefully you will indeed find a few fellas (maybe more than a few if you really give it a chance) that you consider "gentlemen".  Seems to be a winner for the gals that I see

So do I

But I tend to see most guys...especially the ones I've befriended here are very gentlemanly.

But we've both seen (and many others as well I'm sure) the underbelly of society.

But I really believe that most people are inherently good.  It is those few that tend to draw attention to the "darker side" of life.  All you need do is turn on any news network and nearly every story is one of negativity and wrongdoing.

But the reality is that is a relatively small percentage of people...at least I like to believe that

you're a 'working' guy? gigolo?

Nice of you to take down a friendly banter.

Seems like someone didn't love us enough.  And I was looking forward to winning that prize on guessing who you are

You know I love that friendly banter too!

English as a second language pulling posts on misinterpretation ?

Often my male friends joke around and use very demeaning language when describing P4P. My instinct tells me they have never engaged in P4P because I can not see how they would pass screening with their negative stereotypes of P4P.

It seems like providers would get the kind of people that basically mirror the information they give.

If a provider gives a long description about how they really like gentlemen and expect respect and courtesy and basically just have a nice external presentation, that (and probably the price) would seem from the start to kind of select out jerks or people with no manners.  

If all you have is a three sentence description like FOR HOTZ TIMEZ CALL 768-XXX-XXXX then I imagine it would have the opposite effect.  Although I don't know, perhaps even for women that advertise like that it works out...

Not necessarily true.  I've spent many hours in strip clubs in my younger days and I've ALWAYS been a gentleman...but I have to admit that I felt like the only male in the room to respect the women working.

Link

i've always tried to be a gentleman with women.
I was married for 30 yrs and atleast tried to treat my wife with respect.
I never understood the point of being anything but.

I got to laugh at that, opinions aside you see the humor.

Dear Ms. Amy
Considering that you are constantly assessing their demeanor, I was just wondering would you have a two pronged approach about this?

1. How do you assess the way that they communicate in prose?

2. Also due to the way that they communicate towards you do you also tend to evaluate how refined that they are?

Just trying to see how you think and approach this subject.

I have had an un real behavior by the guys contacting me from ter. I am always impressed. I had one really really outlandish instance happen recently and well since i been spoiled by all the polite and business like appts being scheduled in nice way. Then always triple x fun and madness ensuing. After in the bedroom never via thru emails and on phone. I been honestly spoiled by the guys amazing polite gentlemenly behavior. i was so shocked when one didnt behave this way i possibly even over reacted. thats probly because I hadnt had even one , do anything even close to that. so needless to say i maybe over reacted . but i had nt yet encountered being treated that way by a one of these guys contacting me thru ter./ So yes i was shocked and taken a back. I dont think the providers on here see a guy just because he can show them the $$$ . I dont think you can name a price that it be appropriate to make some one feel like put out or freaked out or haggled.

Exactly!  I agree.  There are exceptions where some guys will just email with pure nonsense...that's
when the delete button comes in handy!

I will give some examples of both disrespectful & respectful approaches that I've had the misfortune of receiving:
"Hi Sweetie.  I'm a mm 40ish, 7" cut looking for some fun. Do you have time tonight? (Mail arrives at 10pm!) ...
   ...sure, have another drink, buddy!....

"You have some really juicy looking tits baby.  When can you come over and play?"
   ....um...are you 12?!.....

"I love your look!  I'm really into oral, are you?  Do you dress up sexy for me? I'm used to paying
about 1/2 of what you charge can we work something out?"

  ....well, no!  we certainly cannot!

Now that you had a good laugh...this is the type of moronic mentalities that are out there.  Don't assume that because I am doing this, that I am some lowly, uneducated, druggie with no dignity or
self respect.  Quite the contrary, thanks!  This is something we do, it does not define who we are!


Now, here are some examples of a more respectful approach:

Hello Amy
 I've read your reviews and how you describe yourself and I'm impressed.  I enjoy that you seem so
level headed and truly want to enjoy the company of the gentlemen you see.  Please advise on what you would like from me so that I can spend some time with you.  Looking forward to your reply.

 Hello
I really liked your ad.  It stood out from the others and you seem like what I've been looking for.  I do need to be discreet as I'm sure you understand but also realize you need to be cautious.  I will leave you with my number and you are free to call me to discuss, or use email if you prefer.  Thank you for your time.


...I guess you get the idea.   If a guy approaches me like a human being and not an object there for his entertainment, I am more likely to respond with positive feelings.  Also, emails that are riddled with spelling and grammatical errors bother me!  I like to be around intelligent people!

-- Modified on 2/7/2012 3:48:13 PM