But I see a lot of gals, and pay attention to what is going on, and I don't think the amount of back-stabbing, as you put it, is that much worse than normal.

It's to be expected and you have to just suck it up sometimes and look at the positive.

If it is too much for you, then you have to question whether this world is the right one for you.

Sorry if you've been affected so negatively by this kind of thing.

There is NO HATRED on this site. What there is these days is bitter, nasty, angry, 2 faced, catty, backstabbing providers who will stick a knife in other provider's backs, and blacklist hobbyists for a review they don't like,  a guy who allegedly "wastes their time" or a guy with bad breath.    Providers do not trust other providers and try to destroy their competition, and they will ruin men at the drop of a hat.  There is zero trust in this hobby these days. Men do not trust other hobbyists either.  Hobbyists will stab their "brothers" just like catty providers for a BJ or piece of ass.  Everyone LIES!  There used to be this BS romantic notion that the "hobby" was made of a utopian happy community where providers were like apple pie, and hobbyists were "noble gents". It was an utter crock of shit, but the economy was good, and no one much disputed it. The fairytale was accepted. All was well.

Well, times are no longer rosy, and hobbyists have seen incomes dwindle or become stagnant, and some have lost high paying jobs. Because the economy is so  fucking miserable the market is flooded with new providers and girls fight to keep clients and protect their "turf". It seems every girl in college that doesn't have a rich Dad is now a provider. Some cities have more providers than cock roaches. Many providers won't accept references from other providers, and try to "steal" others clients.  Bottom line -- the fairytale is no longer accepted.  Everyone in this hobby knows girls who have been Outted, had their careers ruined, had lies spread about them, and watched them destroyed at some level at the hands of "rival" girls or vindictive guys. Everyone knows guys who have had their personal info Outted, been blacklisted for no good reason, or who have been stalked by psycho providers. Providers are angry. Hobbyists are angry. Trust is gone and cynicism is the norm. I don't see any of this changing any time soon, but the notion of some happy utopian community is gone forever. Let's be honest and watch our backs.

Not to mention the crazies that the hobby seems to draw in droves.

While I will agree there can be an element of mistrust between the ladies and sometimes the gentlemen too... Please do not speak for all ladies and all gentlemen..

I am honored and blessed to say.. The ladies that I work with in the community have been nothing but ladies and we have helped each other..The gentlemen who are my clients and the ones I chat with on the boards have shared with me that they chat with other hobbyist and for the most part have no problems..

You are the company you keep and if you are in the middle of drama its because you choose to be in the middle of it..

I hope you have a better day...

Jessica/daytimedistractions

OMG  - You're so blind that you have yourself believing that the girls you see are 9s.  Egads.

la la la la la la la..........Elmos World

ROFLMFAO!!!! Do we really think TRUST is sumthing that girls in this fucking business honor?? Its a fucking business, not fucking friendship LOL.

Let's see - first the person starts by saying what they are going to do, while denying they are going to do it. No anger here, no hate directed towards anyone, no sir! Then it is aimed at everyone, shotgun blast at point blank.

Then you have to wonder - since all of this is true, at least to some extent - and has always been true, why blast it loud and clear? Oh, I remember, because something bad happened to the OP. And rather than look at what happened, and consider what he/she should have done differently, it is so much more reassuring to believe the whole world has gone to shit, and it is everyone's problem but yours.

Of course, there are risks. Of course, there are bad people, users of all sorts, hustlers, cheats, pimps, haters, etc. Probably more in this community than in the world at large, or maybe we are all just in a lot more vulnerable position here for the obvious reasons, from meeting strangers with our pants down, to LE exposure, and lots of things in between. It never was utopia, and never will be.

But it is definitely not all bad either. Just like everything else, you play the game if you want, sometime you win, sometime you lose. When you lose it hurts, makes you angry, you vent. And then you either quit or learn from it and try to do better next time.

But to say it was once wonderful, and now it all sucks - that is just wrong twice, though I have no doubt that is how you feel right now.

zig

venting BS and someone had a "bad session".

The Chicago board had a similar thread where a bunch of guys were bemoaning the "state of the hookers" and where have all the good ones gone.  Oh for yesteryear...things were so much easier was the sentiment.

That's what politicians babble to earn votes.  Tell folks that all the problems are from someone else.  Let's go down "memory lane" and find a gentler, kinder time.  Most people tend to reminisce and fondly recall "good things".  They seek out that "good feeling" once again.

It's always humorous to read prose that sounds eerily familiar.  Only to find that it was written literally thousands of years ago.  Seems like history does tend to repeat!

Do the math! The number of people who have memberships on this site DO NOT reflect the number of people in the hobby or the number of providers on the market. This is a SMALL, loud and often rude group.

The truth is that people who post have higher potential for arrogance, they are often seeking attention and validation, they are often wanting to cause people to *react* they are NOT interested in conversation.  There is a higher likelihood that they want perceived power and influence - and thus you get much of the embarrassing behaviour here.

It's the anonymity allows men to behave poorly, and that bad behavior encourages more bad behavior and attracts more jerks.

The MYTH is that this board is an accurate reflection of the hobby or that reviews matter.  A necessary fairytale for *this board* to survived and the people on it to feel some sense of worth or importance.  There are those of us who don't have that deluded view, and only come on here to talk.

If the only women you see are the women who post, or the women who are reviewed, then one has chosen an limit themselves to an inaccurate minority. If one chooses a poor path they then can't complain that it's bad.

The good ones often move on to other forums soon after finding it. Or leave forums and reviews forever and rely on their OWN ABILITY TO JUST CHARACTER. If you are a good judge of character, then women meet true gentlemen and build warm and welcoming communities with other ladies. If hobbyists apply this skill set, they recognize other worthy hobbyists and are able to select enjoyable, respectful and intelligent women without ever needing a review.

The failings of this board are limited to the board, they do not infest the industry.

on ter..

This life-style that each of us has persude in our own way is just that. A hobby with intimate encounters. When you meet someone on the street, do you automaticly trust them? No you don't, but for someone reason, you meet a provider or hobbiest who is paying you for one thing and one thing only and it certainly isn't friendship and you are devastated when they lie to you. Lets give a huge wake up call. The minute you send an email or phone call to a provider, she has already lied to you the second she says hello or response to the email. Her name isn't really what she says it is.. So, the realtionship starts off as a lie. But let the trust begin..??? really? I am as honest as I possibily can be when it comes to this business.. and I hate to tell you something you should already know, but it is just that.. A BUSINESS.. Don't take it personal..a hobbiest wants a service and as long as the service is as expected, please dont expect more. If she gives you more, be happy and dont run around telling everyone..

The same goes for providers. Its our business to provide and intimate encounter and that is all..

There are back stabbers in any business.. I think wall street guys (no offense) are the biggest liars when it comes to how they get it done and make money. Is anyone freaking out ? (besides ocupy wall st)

I never understand the borrowing of money that happens.. Just don't get it. This is nothing more then a "private encounter".. We are basically strangers to eachother looking to have some private fun time in exchange for the almighty dollar.. Don't see it for anything more then what it is..

I have met some wonderful woman in this business.. But I only know what they allow me to know and the same goes for what I allow others to know about me.  Stop thinking that all providers sit around watching porn all day and all we talk about is sex. We are much more intelligent then our counterparts give us credit for.

I also have met some wonderful funny men in this business and I adore their company emensly when we are together. Seeing them on the side? never happen..Its a business..

This is a fantasy world.. So, treat it as such.

WHen a provider tries to blackmail you, do something about it, dont complain. DO you actually think that a provider would tolerate someone black mailing them? Nope..not on your life.

Granted there are providers and hobbiest alike who live for drama. But they are easy to spot..

Well,I just thought I would add my 2 cents and my HONEST, very HONEST opinion.. take it or leave it..


be safe and geezzz relax and have some "private fun time"

I know I will...and i will enjoy every minute of it..

Youre ruining my nap and I have a nice young gal coming by to massage my temples, among other things.  I thought that stuff you and panamlong are smoking was supposed to make you happy.  Somebody spike it on you?

And that's fine...we all have them...sort of like "assholes"

Maybe time to take a little break since you've been at this for as long as...well you don't actually say, but more than 6 years I take it.

If this is boring you...and too many "not nice folks" on a fuck board have you upset stay off the boards.  Pretty simple way to avoid "angst".

But maybe your venting this morning is just what you needed to continue on.  And do you honestly assess that a few hobbyists/providers who have their own agendas on here represent anything remotely close to the actual numbers out there?  Think long and hard about that. As Lauren pointed out, this is a small segment of the total players out there.  And of the typical 10-15000 folks on TER at a given moment, only a few of those make these asinine threads "bashing" one another.

They are simply amusing...nothing more.  This has been going on forever...nothing really new here.  What has changed is YOU.  And if you don't like what you read or see here, YOU can control that.

And your attitude is not better then the others you complain about..

You sound Bitter, angry just like any sour puss I have ever seen..

be part of the solution not part of the problem!

You are the company you keep and you are the energy and the attitude you project!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The thought of posting a blog or personal info about someone in the hobby to "get back at them" would be unheard of.  Yes it was before my time, but I am sure if people chimed in here who were on the scene back then they would agree. Now we have every psycho alcoholic wacko with a keyboard either doing it or contemplating it. Then what? We turn the tables when possible and out the ones who outted us. The hobby attracts your normal 'joes' along with every nuthead imaginable, how do you know who you are really talking to during a session or online?
Providers get pissed off when you don't want to give screening info? Who would in this day and age? Lets face it, if you were watching the news with your SO and a story came on about a psycho online prostitute who went nuts and ruined a guys life (along with his kids and his wife's), what do you think your SO would ask?

"How the fuck did she even have his address???"
"SCREENING? WTF is that?"
"You mean someone would risk it all to get laid?"

And lets face it, how wrong would she be?

in matters of customer/vendor relations, all because of a tough economy. Slack? No one thinks they can afford to cut anyone some slack, because it's all been used up. Maybe the loudest squealing ones here are just plain spoiled, and need to get over themselves.

That supposed review containing "pancake breasts" was not really informative, and didn't her profile provide a haeds-up about that? Could she have mitigated the situation by wearing a fuck-bra or by giving super-tight hugs?

If a bad "consumer report" hurts a business, is that the fault of the "reporting consumer" if he has told the truth? Of course their is a difference between saying "she has an 'outie', in case that matters" and saying "whoever brought her into the world left too much of her umbilical cord on her and it creeped me out".

Remember, no one fights in a burning house.

You say you have been around the community a while now, you mention many years; then you would know what the scene was like a decade ago. WAS it as bad as it is now with all the outtings and witch hunts??

Hey, some bad shit goes on -- I won't deny it.

Though I am not hobbying now, I hobbied for a few years and during that time I never:

1. had a provider fail to give or accept a reference
2. had a psycho provider stalk me
3. had a provider blacklist me over trivialities
4. had a provider sell out another provider I knew or "steal" me from another provider
5. had a blackmail threat from a provider
6. or had anything else bad happen

Okay. WHY? Why, if all this shit is so pervasive did none of it happen to me?

Look, there is some seriously bad shit in the world. And sometimes, I admit -- trouble finds you no matter what. But overall you have control over this through the choices you make, with whom you choose to associate and so forth.

I remember looking at a very interesting statistic once upon a time. In essence, the statistic demonstrated that your odds of being murdered fall to about the same as getting hit by lightning if you avoid just one thing: the trade in illegal drugs and guns. That's it. Just avoiding that one arena makes your odds of being a murder victim negligible.

No woman I have ever seen (as a provider) has ever treated me less than well. In fact, most have treated me DAMNED WELL. No drama, no bullshit, no problems. And the reason why is because of what I prioritized when I chose them.

Again, sometimes trouble finds you no matter your intentions. But overall, your odds of trouble can be reduced dramatically through a few simple steps and anyone with any sense knows what they are.

That is basically the response I thought I'd get. When I found this hobby a few years go I was convinced that one (or 5) bad apples didn't spoil the whole bunch, but I am starting to see trends that are disturbing. It's not something you catch right away.
People can poo-poo the OP all they want, but it doesn't make it any less true. What about aliases? Does anyone know why they were created or why they are used now even by average people? Because of the few who like to use the net as a tool to hurt, sabotage, and ruin people are making them more and more necessary. TER reaches into the net with it's visibility. New blacklist sites and outting sites and stalkers are born every day. I know of several who were stalked because of bad reviews, others who stalked WITH bad reviews, and the thing is no one ever thinks it will happen to them when the tables turn. It's the fucking elephant in the room that no one talks about or likes to think about when partaking.

The state of this hobby has never ever been so bad.  Men and women you know in this hobby are being tarred/feathered, stabbed, and ruined as we speak.  Most don't talk about it publicly.  Re-read my first post. The men are worse and the women are worse than ever.  No personal info is sacred, and no one is your friend in this hobby. Trust no one.

I have made real friends in this game. Like MP, who knows quite a bit about me and I him and we have been of real help to each other. Or joleneineugene who has helped my wife a great deal now that I am sick. Then there is my former ATF who's kid lived with me for a while. My currant favorite came over and gave my son a way to feel empowered when she found out I was sick. There are others like OSP, The_MRS, MrFisher, Little Phil, johngaltnh and others that have been supportive. That does not even began to bring up my wife's friends.

I think you find what you are looking for in all things. Bad things have always happened in the hobby, always it is just much easier to learn about it as everything has gone cyber.

If you honestly think that the way THIS business operates is any different than it was thousands of years ago I think it may be you who needs to take your head out of the sand.

It is nothing more than what many other industries have found...the internet age is information instantaneously.

But to think that the guys/gals who inhabit this little corner of the planet are ANY different than the millions before them is frankly naive.

But your advice is sound on "trust no one".  

Boy...if you hadn't told anybody that revelation I'm afraid that so many would just not be aware of the problems.

And that shit NEVER happened over the last two thousand years or so?  Nope...because you say so!

Seems like that if there is a dispute of any type, the methods of dealing with it was limited to the technology at the time.  And thousands of years ago I would guess that included clubs, rocks and the like.  Today it is kilobytes.

But if you hadn't reassured me that you are on top of this, I might have had to worry needlessly all day

might have a larger number of actual sane people who have their act together outside of this realm...I have been mistaken lol.

There are a lot of nut jobs, psychos, and people who are simply altogether emotionally bankrupt here. I have learned from experience to just keep to myself unless I have no intentions of forming true friendships. I find it is better to deal with this as any other business when trying to form a rapport..always better from a distance. Nothing wrong with networking, but yes as a whole we should be trying to protect one another.

Geico may have some words for you

As I have suggested to you, go and do some actual research on history.  I think you might find that the human race was not considered "cavemen or cavewomen" a mere two thousand years ago.  But there are many historical artifacts left by Romans and Greeks (amongst others) describing prostitution.  

Seems like when you can't find the words to argue YOUR OP you need to just throw some swearing into it.  I guess that must make you feel you're right!

I alway have a good day my friend.

Now get your ass over to the library and do some research.  And get back to me tomorrow with a full report on your findings.

my husband had a former atf wish him dead; and she said that to me. thats why i wont answer my husbands phone. both sides of the equation honey are filled with nut-jobs. every woman with a vagina thinks time with her is priceless and every man with a couple dollars in his pockets seems to think he should be first and foremost in every womans eyes.

I have made truly wonderful friends in this hobby. I mean seriously wonderful, and most certainly very trustworthy as well.

You will meet nasty people in many arenas -- there's nothing special about the hobby that makes it any worse than dealing with some other group of people. So of course you'll find some nasty folks.

But if you CHOOSE those with whom you associate on some sensible basis -- like, oh, their ETHICS and their HEARTS and their MINDS instead of just trying to find whoever will take it anally cheapest -- you will find fantastic people.

Scoed -- you're good people! MrFisher, OSP and many others are likewise good people. You just have to know where and how to look!

nothing to see here, move along, move along...

Cell phones have probably screwed it up for you, too. If you really feel that way, what are you doing posting on TER, a site that surely is part of the demon invasion? Do it old school, man, and stick to your principles!

And I am not even going to start on the guy who thinks the whole hobby has gone to shit, but he has not had a bad experience in over 6 years. When the arguments start, it is fun to watch how logic and consistency go out the window. Or maybe the hobby is not about good experiences with providers - people being nice to each other online is what is most important.

Okay, I think that last part would be good, maybe we can start with aliases not saying everyone is a shithead, that there is no honor among whores and johns any more. Talk about negative generalizations.

Time for me to take another two month break from GD, I guess. Ciao.

zig

Oh Jessica I have to agree with you. I don't know where he's spending his money but the gentlemen I meet are just that "gentlemen". The providers I ask for references are wonderful and very helpful. I have even had them say to me if you ever need anything please contact me. ??? Does that sound like a vindictive provider to you...no, I think not.

It is the company that you keep that exudes the ignorance that can abound in this hobby.

I have been blessed also and believe it is because of the person I am and the respect I give.

Lmao. Why oh why is any of this relevant? We are a bunch of law breaking hookers and johns that are primarily interested in money and the next mouth to cim.