(or at least sober right now. 😀)
I knew you were joking by the tone of your post and was surprised he missed that.
So an interesting thing that has come up the last year or two on a number of occasions has caused me to post this for some commentary by the community (hobbyists and providers alike). I often schedule late morning sessions (just works out for my schedule better) which means that if I have a great session I am finishing up around the lunch hour. As I get ready to depart, I start thinking "now would be a great time to get a bite to eat". Not surprisingly my provider on a number of occasions is thinking the same thing. Only on a fair number of occasions she says "wow, Im pretty hungry" or words to that effect. I am not at all averse to offering to take her out for lunch especially if she has been outstanding in our appointment. But then I think, if I ask and she says yes (and lets assume lunch lasts the better part of an hour) is she expecting that I am going to pay for lunch and her hourly fee? I mean, if I wanted her company specifically then I would think paying her hourly fee is reasonable, but I would probably rather the time be spent in the bedroom and not at a restaurant as I derive to specific pleasure out of sitting across the table. I'm willing to do it because I figure, hey she has to eat, but I am never quite sure if her statement is a hint to me to invite her to lunch, or her just thinking out loud that she is hungry. And asking her, "hey I am going to grab some lunch, and I would love to treat you to lunch too, but I will only be willing to buy lunch and not cover your hourly fee" sees a bit crass. What would or do you do in these cases?
It's simple. I just say "Are you hungry?" If she says yes, I just say "if you don't already have plans, I'd be happy to buy you lunch" See how easy that is??? lol
Why do some of you guys make things so fucking complicated? If you are really worried about getting hit with a bill "for her time" afterwards then just ask her AFTER she says yes, (if she says yes of course) "this is just lunch, and not an extension of our paid date, right?"
So much this. Exactly. Why so many can't read a simple situation between two human beings, I cannot fathom.
Another strategy for the overly-worried:
Just confirm that you had a wonderful time and that you are sorry it is now OVER. Then, see if she'd like a bite to eat.
No sense making everything so complicated. Just OFFER LUNCH to a friend and relax about it like it's the simple thing it is. And for god's sake, don't try to insist or coerce her.
You haven't said anything yet about food or a meal and she says "wow I'm pretty hungry", or words to that effect? I think she's pretty much clubbing you over the head, hoping you invite her to lunch. When I'm getting dressed or whatever and she says something like that, I don't hesitate to say hey, can I buy you lunch/dinner.
If she expects you to pick up the tab and pay for her time, she'll make that clear if she's good at what she does. Or you can find a tactful way to make it clear, as GaG said, if you're nervous about it.
I don't know if what you said there is "crass" really. There are better ways to say it anyway.
I would say do not invite her to lunch if you're not ready to pay for the meal. Don't say "how about lunch, let's go Dutch".
A few ladies I nave seen regularly over the years included lunch or dinner, sometimes on- and sometimes off-the-clock. Don't worry about it. If it works for her she will let you know what's going on; at least the mature, responsible ones will. Let her run her business, don't try to anticipate her.
If the lady has a website, I've usually read it. A lot of the ones who don't do OTC time will have that posted pretty clearly.
The worst that's ever happened is that I've been shot down in flames, berated for being an insensitive and insulting whore monger and black balled for life. Because I asked to take a lady out for lunch.
and if it ever did, I would consider it "good riddance"
Contrary to popular opinion, I very rarely "ask" for OTC time, and with many of my favorites I have NEVER had any OTC time with them. They give me great service, I pay them and we go our separate ways.
OTC time or "friendships" usually just happen, and most of the time at the suggestion of the lady herself, but if I were ever to be "shot down in flames" that would be the last she ever saw of me.
(or at least sober right now. 😀)
I knew you were joking by the tone of your post and was surprised he missed that.
but I was already 90% through the post so I just posted it "as is" lol
and yes, I am/was sober as I just got back from the gym as I promised "Anna", but that doesn't mean I am going to stay that way for long. Maybe if I drink enough vodka Anna (or more accurately her pimp) will start making sense to me. She/he does have a temper, must be all that vodka. BBBBB might be gone, Sophia might be gone, but the tradition continues. lol
She will say something like "That made me hungry" or "What are you going to do now." I call this FISHING for a lunch invitation. Civvie girls do it too. If I have the time, I will extend the invitation, if I already have other plans, I will act like I didn't understand her bait-attempt. If she comes right out and says "why don't we get something to eat", I will say "okay" or else "we'll have to do that next time because I'm busy." Then I suggest that in the future, if she wants to piggyback a meal onto the next session, its best to tell me the day before, so I don't schedule any appointments right after we meet. Saturday's are different matter. I have more flexibility to be spontaneous.
As GaG says, its not complicated. When it comes to OTC time, treat them like a friend and get them down off the hot provider pedestal. They don't want their toes sucked or their asshole licked while eating their lunch. Playtime has expired and now you're in charming-fun-friend mode. When OTC, I treat them like a civvie date, and they seem to appreciate that. The fact that we just had P4P sex is irrelevant to what happens afterward once the paid time is up.
Quoting from chapter fourteen of the Hooker Manual:
“A light libation, snack or any meal to be consumed later than 10:00 am and prior to 4:00 pm is rebuttably presumed to be uncompensated time exclusive of the value of the libation, snack or meal, provided the offer or suggestion is made concurrent to the conclusion of the compensated time and is not incidental to the resumption of compensated time. The presumption holds notwithstanding an affirmative rebuttal by the provider at the time of offer.”
Maybe for me its very different.
All of the US is foreign to me. If its dinner time, and I have nothing else to do, why not go to dinner OTC? Free food, exposure to someplace I have never eaten perhaps, and course getting to know a person better. Its hard to have a detail conversation with cock in my mouth, or being face down ass up in a pillow.
If a girl does not want to go lunch or dinner she can just say no thanks.
But at the risk of being a "suck up" I think you have a GREAT way with words. lol
Thank you but just say the obvious. How can I know a guy is interesting or funny or just plain idiot if I cant spend a little time. If he is willing to listen to me gag and moan for an hour or more, I can listen him tell me something interesting while I eat for free.
Some of my most interesting meals were OTC in places I would never have gone. I would never go alone to a Hooters being a somewhat shy Asian girl. But they have great chicken wings, and maybe all girls boobs not so big, all girls butt very cute. Its not price of meal, but the different type foods and conversation. This weekend in Vegas a client took me to a Soul Food small place that was very inexpensive. Yet I have never had things like that. OMG my stomach get torn up from grease an hour later but it was so yummy, and the conversation was funny.
I can see why some girls would not give the free time. They have SO they must go home to, or other clients or just plain tired or list of many other reasons. Or maybe just need go home do laundry. But if I am hungry and nothing else to do, its time to eat or close to time to eat, and the session was without issue, sure why not.
practical since you do your own scheduling. It doesn't work with agency girls. We have to plan OTC time on their days off. Many providers don't realize something that you touched on, and that is the non-sexual social time outside the playpen does more to improve the chemistry and connection between you and a customer than an extended session does. Fortunately, I learned this early on in my hobby career, and have tended to stay with my regulars much longer when there is OTC social time. Mostly its like getting reward miles, but occasionally, a real life outside relationship develops and we became boyfriend/girlfriend. Then the dynamic evolves as well into something much different, and can be richly rewarding for a man who is able to handle the obvious fact that his girlfriend makes her living having sex with other men. I don't have a problem with it, but some do.
Perhaps most of what I have learned OTC is already known to many but here is a list of just somethings:
1- Most of my clients have families they care much deeply for.
2- Seems different than on the board, but most look at spending time with a provider in session as a business transaction and OTC as a friendship transaction that has obvious limitations.
3- OTC opens up a network for me I have no access to, I am not allowed on the PO Board. But have been introduced to other providers by OTC time. This plays important role in meeting compatible providers to offer duos with.
4- OTC open dialogue about experiences, while I must entertain that like a review clients experiences are individual and often embellished ( my new word this week ). Clients tell stories of other meetings, good and bad. This gives me little insight who I may not be compatible with.
5- Almost all clients like red meat, I have no idea where you get enough cows for all the red meat eaten here. Seafood is not as much eaten here
6- OTC gives me better understanding of what the client might enjoy next time that we did not explore this session. Different lingerie, or toys or dress.
7- OTC works the other direction also. It gives me the chance to explain or touch on things I LIKE. Seems clients are always interested in making sure next session more fun for us both.
8- OTC allows me a little bit look into clients mind and make sure he will not be stalker or crazy or PIA
9- Almost all conversations when OTC with a client eventually revolve around sex, and the hobby at some point. I always try to make sure we are seated as privately as possible.
I have gone lunch and dinner OTC and never had issue. Always AFTER a paid session. All of my OTC has been learning experience.
accused of sucking up, but I want to compliment you on your insightfulness. I think your recognition that OTC time with customers will pay dividends in the long run by allowing you to interact on a friendship basis to strengthen your connection is refreshing for only having been here a short time. Most newer providers I have met would not consider it. They are just looking for the next paid hour and are not at all focused down the road on developing a cadre of regulars that can provide a certain expected level of monthly income.
While a agree with all of your points, for me, other than a little flirtation near the end of the dinner/lunch to juice me up for the next appointment, my conversations OTC have NOT been mostly about sex any more than it would be with a civvie lady friend I was having a meal with. Although I often like to hear how a provider got into the business, which I would ask of a civvie girl about her profession. I may not be the normal sex maniac when it comes to social time. Lol
Of course, if it is a part of a longer session such as an overnight, then a meal is almost axiomatic.
But with gals that I see for two hour sessions, a meal just evolved over time, and I'm not quite sure how it even came about, but it did usually after knowing them for some decent amount of time and becoming a regular.
I would be very reticent to suggest OTC with a gal I am meeting for the first time. I'd hate her to think I'm just trying to get free time from her.
On the other hand, if the gal dropped a big hint that she's open to it as in your case, as long as you're willing, then go for it.
happen with a regular when was still relatively new at this. We were doing both one and two hour sessions a couple times a week, and I had suggested once after a session that we get something to eat because it was dinner time. She was very emphatic that she "does not go on dates with customers." I never brought it up again, and then out of the blue, we were finishing up a two-hour session a month later at about 7:00 and she asked me if I would like to go get something to eat. I went, and we had such a good time that it became a regular part of our time together when finishing up at dinner time. She occasionally reminded me over the next year that I saw her that I was the only customer she had ever gone out with. Maybe true, maybe not, but it sure made me feel great!
Of course, if it is a part of a longer session such as an overnight, then a meal is almost axiomatic.
Seriously? Some providers expect you to pay them to go to lunch or dinner with you? I'm not going to pay her to go to lunch or dinner with me. I've taken my two favorite providers to lunch or dinner. Not once did they expect me to pay them. I paid for their meal.
Times she would ask me what my plans were for the rest of the afternoon. I told her I either had to go back to work or go home. I guess I was too dense to ask her what she had in mind as maybe I could have had some OTC time. Since then no one has ever asked me.
I will happily pay for your meal. But I will not pay to watch you eat it.
I also subscribe to the comments above by the experienced mongers here on how to make that happen.
were like Christine.
She obviously cares about her clients and is very realistic. Maybe a cultural thing?
Most providers that I've checked out are pretty strict with their time, and I understand that. I just can't and won't pay her full rate for anything other than fun time.
Although I would happily pay for a meal and/or drinks. Before or after the date.
I have only shared a meal with a provider once, and it was great! It was in the middle of an extended daytime date and the convo was very similar to a civie date, and prior to any action.
At one point, I jokingly asked "are we gonna fuck sometime today?" And she responded with "oh ya, I'm gonna fuck you really good".. This only added to our building chemistry and my excitement of knowing what was to come.
Currently I have no desire do the "civie dating thing" due to not having time mostly. And my last few dates, a while back, ended up with the good ol "you're such a nice guy and a great dad".
Well, my dick dosent understand all the "nice guy" shit and dosent care to be that patient.
Cheers to OTC time and great company!
I've never had to pay for a lunch date with a provider. They were happy that someone took them out and paid for their lunch.
A Fav offered & I accepted lunch from food she had on hand. It was a long drive for me & if I didn't eat I would invariably have medical consequences. There wasn't a convenient place nearby her location. So I began bringing lunch fixings, which we shared OTC & had our paid session. Package size meant that there was always excess which she kept, of course. (I knew that generally I was the only appointment she had that day.) It really was nice.
Here is what I think would be fun........
I would love to have a GREAT fun sexy session with a client and after have him teach me OTC how to cook a super yummy american meal. I can cook PHI of course, and a lot of simple Asian and some Thai, but one thing I always ruin is called beef stew. It is easy to make bad beef stew, I can prove that. Or the chicken that is wrap around cheese and pork.
Or maybe he would have a fancy suggestion. If it turns out good enough maybe he gets a reward OTC after dinner. Hahahahha.
For someone who claims to be "English challenged" you are making the absolute best use of these discussion boards of any woman I can think of on these boards. I bet your inbox is getting flooded with offers. GREAT job.
I'm sorry, but if you can't make beef stew there may be no hope for your culinary skills.
That said, I agree with GAG. You've got a great attitude!
1. Open can.
2. Empty into microwave safe bowl.
3. Heat in microwave.
4. Enjoy!
or, for the traditionalists,
1. Open can.
2. Empty into saucepan.
3. Heat on stovetop until hot.
4. Enjoy!
or, for those who like to rough it in the outdoors
1. Turn shopping cart on side.
2. Build trash fire in shopping cart.
3. Open can.
4. Place can on shopping cart above burning trash.
5. Heat until hot.
6. Enjoy!
Here is what I think would be fun........
I would love to have a GREAT fun sexy session with a client and after have him teach me OTC how to cook a super yummy american meal. I can cook PHI of course, and a lot of simple Asian and some Thai, but one thing I always ruin is called beef stew. It is easy to make bad beef stew, I can prove that. Or the chicken that is wrap around cheese and pork.
Or maybe he would have a fancy suggestion. If it turns out good enough maybe he gets a reward OTC after dinner. Hahahahha.
My English is not great, its good just not great.
But I think I understand the benefits of board interaction and treating clients like people and not just ATM.
I think many providers here in US are very lucky. Where I come from being a provider is acceptable and there is much more competition. Being creative sets providers apart, being special does not make creative. I am not supermodel, just simple girl next door type. So I think that makes me think and try harder.
GaG and others, you should teach a class in marketing to many of the newer providers who do think of hobbyists as walking ATM's.
you would have received an email from me asking to see you.
I am going to have to go with my friend GaG.
It is simple ask her if she would like to get something to eat with you and I am paying. Then ask I don't mean to be rude do I have to included your hourly fee as well.