Scheduled a meeting with a provider who usually rates 10/10. Sent $800 MO deposit, and was subsequently stood up 3 times.  Was told deposit was sent back, but I never received it. Told I was going to list negative review on TER, and received threatening email in return. Should I let it go as a ripoff, post a response, or ?

pmonster,
What city?
How long ago?
Where did the $800 deposit send to?
Since this provider has been communicated with you afterward, hopefully, she (may I assume)would one day realize her wrong and repay you back properly.
BTW, I have fallen for a provider before and learned a good lesson about prepaying a session.
That happened 2 times last year to me. I tried to work it out with her but failed to achieve a settlement. Now I regret not posting my case. Good luck.

Bowling Green/Elizabethtown - sent $ over 7 months ago to a PO Box there.  I have tried repeatedly to settle this, we attempted to see each other 2 more times, but she stood me up twice again, and now got an email saying money had been sent and cashed (not true) and hinted at exposing me to family, work, etc.  Doesn't seem like good business practice, agree?

AND, in addition, post the names and number here on the board for those of us who may not check reviews in your respective towns.  MA

of payment did you use?

Sorry, couldn't resist the humor because of my post above. Yes, that's awful what happened to you. I'd be annoyed too.

Hugs,
Ciara

You should have been given a receipt for the money order. Contact the banking agency or financial source this instrument would be paid from. Tell them the payee returned it but was lost in the mail. They will charge a fee and it will take time to recover your money.

It is understandable that you are distressed by this. Yet it is better to not threaten people with hardships if in fact they are trying or willing to return the money. Of course when the check does not show up, and you have let the payee know this, it is best then to get a letter of cancellation on the instrument to justify it's cancellation by the financial institute it was promised by.

If they are unwilling to provide that, continue with the process and indicate it was a verbal agreement.

Once you have either recovered your money or determined it is unrecoverable (due to lost receipt, banking policy, or the fact that it was deposited by the payee) you decide how you should inform the hobbyist on TER. Be sure you prepare the details in such a way to show cause for and explanation to the no shows.

This is an expensive lesson I'm happy to say will not be one I'll experience. I would not see a provider that required a deposit by money order, credit card, or paypal. I've heard enough stories how it failed to work out.

Good Luck

Postal money order with nothing filled in to recipient sent to a P.O. Box. - you have to trust some, especially after seeing some great reviews, but????/

The money order  I sent  her was cashed.  After she failed to make good a meeting 3 times, I asked and was told I would get a refund. It never materialized, and now when I asked what happened, I was told it was cashed, I was told I was exploiting her,  and I was threatened with her contacting family, work, and doing property damage - Nice, huh? In fact, the money is not the big issue here.

and where exposing who this provider would only bring on our worse nightmare - getting back to family, friends, and work.

Was the first appointment a no show on her part or yours? And you stated earlier she had sent it back but now you are saying the money was sent back and cashed?

It's time to consider damage control and what price you would be willing to pay to pursue this further. While many other hobbyist may say you are obligated to expose her for the protection of other hobbyist, it's not them who will suffer what she has stated.

No, it is awful business practice which will probably be repeated if she hasn't already done so. How many guys would be willing to risk all just to get the money back? Someday this provider will repeat this with someone who will expose her and possibly do much worse things.

It is an extreme downside to this hobby when this happens - it affects everyone, the good more so then the bad.

If you answer my question of who was the first to no show and that in fact was you, she may feel you don't deserve a refund or second chance for having put her out - hope that wasn't the case, but what difference would it make.

Good Luck

It was she who didn't show for any of the three arranged meetings - initially said she "couldn't make fit for reasons she couldn't share with me", but never called - and aid she would make it up 2 more times - no shows either of those times also.  I appreciate your comments -  thanks.

and to clarify - I sent her my deposit via money order - she cashed it.  When she finally said she was sending me a refund, I never received it. Later, she said she did send me my deposit via a new money order, knows it was cashed.....but I still never saw the money order. She either never sent it, or it was stolen along the way.
I never can prove she ever sent it - only she knows the truth for sure.

I think the technical term for your situation is called "screwed".

So it's possible that she actually *did* send it.  I think you're going to have to write this off as a learning experience, and drop this lady from your list of folks you're ever willing to contact.

From what you say, it sounds like she's ripping you off, and given the hold she has over you by way of her possesion of your contact info, I think there is very little you can do about it.  I'm sorry to hear this, and agree with the other folks -- write a post to your local area board letting folks know.  Otherwise, just let it go, as the risk to you outweighs any possible benefit from arguing with her over it... especially when it's theoretically possible that she actually *did* send you a refund, although I doubt it really happened.

Am a higher-end provider and request a deposit only for travel with new clients, though some have offered deposits for city visits, and some wanted to send payments via PayPal (which I no longer like).  Mainly only take money orders to guarantee the showing of new clients on a far-away trip.

Unfortunately, it's hard to know who is safe/legit re providers and clients.  

Personally, I am lucky to have great instincts and only see those with whom I feel comfortable and sense are upright.

Always thought one could retrieve money back from a money order.....  But given the fears of being outed to your fam, most impt is to keep your family and personal life safe; then warn others of this person, if she didn't return the money and is threatening to out you to family and work...

In over 3 years as a provider, never had an incident that was unpleasant; in fact, almost all have been fabulous!  Wish you well!!