I just continue using their stage name. I treat it like a nickname I guess. I have a friend in a popular band. He has a stage name he goes by. If anyone uses his real name you automatically know they dont know him. The stage name is part of his life. So I dont think of these names as fakes.
Do you care to know a provider's real name after some point? Like if you've known her for a while or you travel together?
Or do you not care one way or another?
I usually dont give my real name, not because I dont trust the guy, but because it gets awkward and he doesnt know what to call you. Like if hes known you by your provider name all along its weird to then switch and it seems like he'll avoid calling you by ANY name.
Do you care to know a provider's real name after some point? Like if you've known her for a while or you travel together?
Or do you not care one way or another?
I usually dont give my real name, not because I dont trust the guy, but because it gets awkward and he doesnt know what to call you. Like if hes known you by your provider name all along its weird to then switch and it seems like he'll avoid calling you by ANY name.
Thoughts?
Fuck ive had many girls tell me there real names by accidebnt usually happens when i meet em at the door. we just fucking laugh it off and i stick with there fake names. sometimes for shits an grins ill call out there real names as i'm cumming lol. Fuck yeah!
But it seems to me that giving out real names moves things to a level of intimacy that could be dangerous, by making it more likely one or the other party will get emotionally involved. Not to mention that you need to trust that the other person won't misuse the information. I would rather be anonymous.
...no matter how long or well you know someone, once they know your full, real name, it creates so many other variables. So better to have been left unknown.
I know real names of few providers I have seen, but I am not emotionally involved with anyone and most of the time I don't remember the real name at M&G and stuff. Suppose, it makes few to think they are special.
It is all trust issue and I also know few Kreeps that have destroyed a few providers personal life with their families & stuff.
Posted By: inicky46
But it seems to me that giving out real names moves things to a level of intimacy that could be dangerous, by making it more likely one or the other party will get emotionally involved. Not to mention that you need to trust that the other person won't misuse the information. I would rather be anonymous.
....provider needs money to buy a potential house in Vegas....oh, we need a gift letter, so need to know the name, ok in that case......
fast forward 3 years......changes in a provider’s life which she kept from the loyal client, now things have changed....now the client is "dangerous" because he was kept in the dark....now it is not ok.
hmmmmnnn....depends upon the "convenience" of the situation for the provider??????
so, don’t try to make anything more of it. Most men particularly doesn’t know how to handle transactional relationship and most women are experts in taking advantage of it.
I have loaned money to providers many times, some have paid it back, some haven’t but I will never ever mention anything about it. I have done other favors, as friends to help other friends and I do not any pay backs as in real friends. Most men think if the lady is a providers then they believe they are entitled some free pussy, there arises the problem. None of us have kept all the friends we have made in the past and nine of us are going to keep all the friends we make in the future (in most cases, acquaintances are classified as friends) and such is life.
I had one client who wanted a real relationship. All the while denying it. It made him feel closer to me to know my real name...
I have a client who always said my real name just before the deed?? I always got the impression it made him feel superior or like he had something to hold over me??
I do agree.. it can become awkard. but sometimes I have to remind myself.. to not call him by his nickname.( the one I gave him so he stands out in my memmory) usually something like..( PITA, Hot windsurfer guy or little red corvette)
Yes, most everyone gets a nickname..just for fun...
Yes, if checking in an airport, hotel, or going through customs together, theres no way of getting around needing to know eachother's name. I guess my question was if you know a provider for a long time, and she knows your name, is it weird to not know hers?
But then again, I guess every relationship and circumstance is different so you may just have to do what feels right for your situation.
a while. I've never understood what the big deal is one way or the other. If you spend any significant time around someone, you are probably going to know who each they are - or at least you are going to each THINK you know who the other person is.
I've never thought it made any difference what-so-ever one way or the other.
BTW girls, more than just a few guys use fake names too. It's really not very hard to get some pretty darn good fake ID's these days. (how in the hell do you think we have 12,000,000 people working in this country illegally) - yea - it's that easy!!!
If we've seen each other several times, we eventually know each others names. I won't travel or do overnights unless I know her name, but if its a first or second date, it doesn't matter
please dont say if she knows your name you should know hers . The woman needs your name for her safety. why i am sure you are normal some clients have trouble keeping this in perspective. many women become fond of clients and care for them but it is in the context of how they know each other.
many of the women who work for us feel uncomfortable if a client pushes too hard for her real name. it is the same for email address adn cell numbers we had one client pick up the girls phone and call his soo he would have her number and then he proceeded to text her 50 times a day. obsessive clients are scary and you should respect the womans wishes
If you'd like to maintain a degree of real privacy keep your name to yourself. Even some of the best ATFs are assholes in this regard - they think that name dropping is impressive when its really just a shithead thing to do.
My respect for a client is immensely diminished when he refers to another provider by her legal name. It happens on a weekly basis.
If I'm traveling with a dude or if I see someone all the time for extended appointments I share it to minimize instances of me being referred to as my "ho" name in social settings.
If you'd like to maintain a degree of real privacy keep your name to yourself. Even some of the best ATFs are assholes in this regard - they think that name dropping is impressive when its really just a shithead thing to do.
My respect for a client is immensely diminished when he refers to another provider by her legal name. It happens on a weekly basis.
If I'm traveling with a dude or if I see someone all the time for extended appointments I share it to minimize instances of me being referred to as my "ho" name in social settings.
Unfortunately,this does happen quite often with hobbyists mentioning a provider's real name.Majority of the time the guys are mentioning a provider they start off with the providers work name as the conversation goes on he switches to using her real name.I am always amazed when this happens because there is no reason to let me know that provider who's working name is X but her real name is Y.I could care less what a providers real name is and for that reason I will never let a guy know my real name so he can mention it to another provider who might just be a nutcase.No,thank you I can do without. The only exception is a couple of gents who do know my real first name not the last but these are guys I have seen many many times and felt comfortable enough to do so.
I have seen a woman 3 times who quite spontaneously gave me her real first name - I felt trusted, honored, and it provided a level of intimacy that was unexpected and lovely. We're not getting married or anything - just saying it was unique and very much appreciated. I would never use it to do a power trip on her or shout it out when she sucks my cock. But when we get together, drink some wine and catch up, it sure is nice to call each other by our given names.
This happened to me. Had a regular for several years. He ended up learning my real name at some point. Towards the end he decided he was in love with me and went into full-on stalker mode. Did crazy, crazy, shit, like:
-calling the police telling them I "stole" things from him that he had given me as gifts -calling/texting/emailing me INCESSANTLY -threatening to kill himself when I didn't answer his messages -changing his phone # and then texting me from that # saying "Hi I am (psycho guy's) cousin, and he killed himself this weekend. He left a suicide note saying it's because of you." -showing up at my incall unannounced/uninvited (yes, after he supposedly killed himself) -writing fake reviews (both good and bad... wtf!) -aaannnndd a whole bunch of other crazy shit that I would like to be able to forget.
Knowing that a person capable of this level of lunacy knows my REAL NAME is a very scary thing. I very much regret ever telling him and I sure as hell won't be making that mistake with anyone again. He was seemingly fine when we first met, but it goes to show, you never know what kind of crazy shit can be going on inside a person's head.
Yeah, it totally sucks! And believe it or not, the nut job is still pursuing me, even though it has been nearly a year since I had to cut him off. I have since moved to another town, but he found my new site and ads online, even found my phone number in an ad somewhere... ugh... and commenced to calling me again. Even had the nerve to apply for a P411 account and list me as a reference for him! (I told them about all the insane shit he did and they noted his account, they said.) At this point I have not heard from him in a couple weeks. I pray he will forget about me, but I am afraid he is too psycho and obsessed and will keep making efforts to get my attention. I got to know quite a bit about him in the time we were visiting, and I can tell you with all certainty that he is very mentally unstable, and also quite unintelligent. Sounds like a dangerous combination to me. After all he has put me through already, I can only imagine what worse things he is capable of. It's people like him that cause me to have a loaded gun within arms reach at all times.
But that kind of stuff also happens in civie life, with boyfriends, girfriends, husbands, wives, family members, friends, co workers etc. There are some sick people out there, and even some people who are fine, and something pushes them over the edge, and they become sick. We all have to be careful, but you really never know sometimes who is going to go over the edge. In your case, if you don't feel comfortable ever giving your name out, obviously don't do it. you have to work within your comfort level. I assume you also don't do travel dates and such.
What you are going through is stalking....sorry to hear about that, you don't deserve that.
"Perceived" stalking is when a "Prominent Provider" steals a clients money for a trip, lies at every turn, is deceitful and plays the client, like "I have no boyfriend" or thinks it is acceptable to send a "replacement" date to a scheduled date, because she suddenly becomes unavailable....then turns the tables and wants to be the innocent victim. Then she tells a story, to be sorry for her......just saying.....
Unfortunately, there can be victims on both sides.......
In any relationship, whether p4p, sugar daddy, whatever......"honesty" up front would reslove alot of issues and everyone would be able to get along and know the situation upfront.
When people create illusions and are deceitful, that is where the problems begin....
as your alias implies, why should it matter if she has a boyfriend or not? Isn't this whole game an illusion? From the sounds of it, you believed what you wanted to believe, but in the grand scheme of things, it is what it is, as you say so yourself.
Sorry you had to go through this. I am going through this myself now as well as many others have. There are boundaries, and then there ARE BOUNDARIES.....
...."best gifts I ever received"....."I have no boyfriend"....."didn't return a deposit, because it was never about the money"
then again, I have been told no one should marry a hooker....well then, how did that just happen?????...just saying!
don't worry, I am so over you, just find it funny that youy like to continue to poke fun at the situation that you somehow are the "innocent" victim.....
You must go through a lot of Kleenex with all the crying you do. Poor little tear-stained boy. If you aren't smart enough to realize this is pay for play, and everything you give is a "gift", then you need to find another hobby. (you catch that? It's a hobby, dumbass) I'll bet you're just stupid enough to think you're going to find yourself a girlfriend doing this. lmao!
Now quit your whining, go find your ba ba, curl up with your binkie, and STFU whiny-ass.
You must go through a lot of Kleenex with all the crying you do. Poor little tear-stained boy. If you aren't smart enough to realize this is pay for play, and everything you give is a "gift", then you need to find another hobby. (you catch that? It's a hobby, dumbass) I'll bet you're just stupid enough to think you're going to find yourself a girlfriend doing this. lmao!
Now quit your whining, go find your ba ba, curl up with your binkie, and STFU whiny-ass.
.....and why don't you let us know your "real" handle in your next post. If you want to keep it real...oh no silly me, it's all about the illusions and delusions. I would love to get some of that kool aid to see what I missing...NOT!
I actually should send my 3 B package down there.....a barrel. a brick and box of kleenex.....
And by the way, I thought we weren't going to talk about each other.....
Anyways.....she knew the terms....she is no more than a common thief....because it "never" was about the money (her words...not mine). My last appointment with her was a "bait & switch"....just goes with the current personna.....
As you say, everything is an illusion or a delusion. If this is the case, how would you even know what one was? Could you even identify one? It would all blend together, you couldn't even distinguish one, if you tried. To have any concept of boundaries, you need to be focused, have a clear mind and not be dabbling.
What I believe in, is that I hope that people would treat me the way I would want to be treated with honesty and respect. Obviously in your game, you don't have either.....
#1 I have her full info as she has mine... In most cases, only first names are required. Traveling with a lady is unusual but in those cases you'd probably have met several times to devolupe the trust & compatability to spend extended time together. H
If I'm paying a girl to boink her for an hour or two, I don't need her real name and she doesn't need mine. Even if I repeat with her a few times, it doesn't really matter. If I am travelling with her and buying airline tickets, and checking in hotels, then I want her real name, and probably need it. And if I was doing those kinds of dates, I would have seen her a few times before, and I do probably know her a little better than I would know my average provider. A travel date would not be a first date for me. Obvioulsy I would not expect a provider to give me her real name unless she was very comfortable with me. And I wouldn't expect her to be travelling with me unless she was very comfortable.
As far as real name or fake name and not knowing what to call her, I don't see how that is a problem. Most people know their mother's real names, but they call her "Mom" or something similar. Same as a father, some siblings, cousins or old friends that you call by nicknames, but you still know their real names. For exaple I do have a current provider friend, of which I know her real first, last, and middle name, her siblings' names, her mom's name, her date of birth, her mailing address etc. I mail her stuff under her real name, I buy her plane tickets under her real nmae, and check her into hotels under her real name. I have deposited money into her bank account under her real name, but when we are together I call her by her fake name, and I email her by her fake name, and she signs her emails to me buy her fake name. We also have a ton of pet names we call each other in person and in emails, so I don't see how the multiple names cause confusion. I do see a problem with controlling, or stalkerism, and stuff like that being an issue, but if the comfort level is there to share real names, how is it a problem of not knowing what to call the person?
I have told a few clients my name for various reasons. But oddly enough, I dont like them calling me my real name to my face or emailing me by my real name. It almost kills the fantasy for ME.
Plus, some of them awkwardly stop calling me by either name and just say, "Hey you!"
So thats great that you have the introspect/knowledge (I cant come up with the right word to describe it) but.. of knowing to continuing to call her her work name.
You have officially answered my question. Tell them my name when/if it feels right or for travel purposes, then let him know that I still prefer that he call me my "stage name".
You're welcome! I am glad you like my answer, and I like that line "I could just kiss you right now!" LOL. Too bad we are both aliases right now
Funny you should mention the "hey you" thing. My provider friend and I actually call each other that sometimes playfully. Not in person but in email greetings occasionally. Anyway in your case I think it is just important that you tell the guys, even though they know your real name is "y" you still want them to call you "x". I am sure it will be fine to most guys. Like I said earlier, it's kind of like nicknames. Many people go by different names than their given name.
In my case when I found out my friends real name, I am the one that told her, right away, "You will still always be x to me. I met you as x, I know you as x, and you will alwasy be x." At one time we were having a conversation about her possibly changing her stage name. (her idea) I told her, "I think you should stay as x. It is a more unique name than the one you are thinking of, and it suits you well. However it is up to you what you decide to do with your career and your name and I support you whatever you decide...but I will still call you x!" She shut me up by sticking her tongue in my mouth.
but if we have seen each other a number of times it is an indication of a level of trust that has been reached, and I value that more than the name itself.
It does concern me how some ladies are careless with their personal information. There are surprisingly many ladies whose names I know who I have never met, or have only seen once. And it is not because I have ever tried to find out.
When we do know each other's real names it does provide a level of LE protection, and I have had to use it a couple times. When stopped by in a major sweep and we knew each others names, her kids names, dogs' names, etc., and she knew lots of little things about me. It avoided a significant potential problem. I am not saying that is the best option in most cases, it is not--but in that case it was. She had been ratted out and they were specifically after her, and by association that night, me.
Unless I would need it, like for travel, I will leave it up to the lady. I can't imagine using a name to blow up someone's life, but how would she know that? Of course I'm curious, but I don't even ask. The more comfortable a lady feels with me, the better the experience is likely to be.
I just continue using their stage name. I treat it like a nickname I guess. I have a friend in a popular band. He has a stage name he goes by. If anyone uses his real name you automatically know they dont know him. The stage name is part of his life. So I dont think of these names as fakes.
I know most of my ATFs names which they volunteer when they feel comfortable. I like it because it shows that they trust me. If I have their number I may text or email once and I they don't reply I don't try again. I don't stalk them or ever tell anyone what is said in confidence. I've had ATFs that didn't give the info and I somehow didn't feel as close to them and didn't feel as much "customer loyalty" if that makes sense.
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