I am a relative newbie to hobbying.  My wife has joined me in the company of ladies and it has been a fun experience.  But aren't these providers really just entertainers being paid to entertain?  Do they really enjoy what they do?  I guess they would have to to some degree.  What prompts my question is that the provider that I have seen on occasion is a complete knockout.  She is intelligent, gorgeous, witty, etc, etc.  She is a 12 on a scale of 10 in every category.  But why does she want to be a provider?  Do some providers have minds like men where they just want different partners and can hardly get enough?  Is there ever a time when I'm with a provider that there isn't some acting going on on her part?  I'm sure this one provider in particular could settle down with anyone she wants with a never ending supply of money, so I don't think that is the issue.  Just thinking out loud.

As for your other questions, you could get answers all over the lot all day long, but you'll never know for sure.

My feeling is that it doesn't matter.

I famous pioneer in audio speakers, Amar G. Bose, came on the scene in the 1970's amid loads of technobabble about the relative merits of this versus that type of speaker system.  (interesting fact:  There are more patents issued concerning audio speakers than almost any other product.)

He cut everyone off easily enough with the statement:  "If it isn't audiable, then it doesn't matter."

Same with this hobby, as far as I'm concerned.

That is definitely the case with some women.  If only the church leaders & lawmakers would get it, prostitution laws might be quite different.

Now, before you get too happy, many ladies are better actresses than providers, so you may never know for certain.  I've met a couple though that have said when they retire, they're afraid they won't be gettin it enough.

Here's mine: the ladies who do it mainly for the money won't come out and admit it, and those who do it mainly for the enjoyment only represent a small minority.  This is not to say that those who do it primarily for money don't get enjoyment out of it, but if any of them ever hit it big with a multi-million dollar lottery, they're outta here!  After all, how many of us "enjoy" our jobs but would leave them if something with more money and/or more personal fulfillment came along?

Who is the famous philosopher with the adage about the unexamined life being a life not worth living?

For every provider, there's a slighlty different motive.

I'd say, yes, it's a tantalizing intellectual puzzle to think about.  But don't overthink yourself out of what appears to be a great situation for you.

Sit back, enjoy the ride.  Keep a diary locked up somewhere if you are so inclined.  Many interesting and valuable insights will come your way in the course of these activities, you just can't force them out on a schedule, and everything is tentative and subject to reinterpretation and change.

Continue to have a great time!  That's the real bottom line to this.

Your 12 does it for the same reason a Craig's List 4 does it: The money.

one a black lady who provides for the money. She is extremely pleasant, conversant and does her job very well. I have never been disappointed after I have seen her but she is definitely providing a service and is compensated accordingly.

There is a second lady I see who is a little older perhaps a little less attractive but when the clothes come off she lights up. She loves sex and sex toys and is like a little kid at Christmas saying, "Gimme"! and she really likes to give and to receive. She is a sexaholic.

Two ladies ... both great to be with ... two different motivations.

All this said, the drive is different from one lady to the next and each has her own unique reasons for being in this arena.

Our is but to enjoy the ride and not to think to hard about the why's.

OFF

Unrelated Gratuitous Asian Boobiage Photo

I have been deep inside the psyche of one lady in the business.

Did she do it for the money? Yes. Did she do it ONLY for the money? No.

nor do I.  Do I delude myself into thinking that I have provided some really hot lady innumerable O's?  Do I think that they, without money, would care to date me?  Do I really consider myself that good a conversationalist that they would wish to have me escort them to some function?  

Yea... I guess you are right.... and my divorce decree just proves it....

Seriously... You can never know for sure any of what goes on in another's head.  yea, I think that much of myself... but it is tempered with the knowledge that these ladies are in a business.... Some have told me that they prefer the hobby to civie dating... Do I believe them?  yea... why? Cause I've tried civie dating.. and in case you've missed it... consider...

What do women get out of this hobby other than money... The knowledge that when the door opens, she will have proof positive (the envelope please) that some dude loves her enough to take the time to bring her at least $$$ and perhaps a present... AND - She will be the uninterrupted enchantresss who has totally captured his heart... at least for an hour.... and will be more than happy to "Service her"!   What woman would not want that 5-7 days a week - 52 weeks a year!  

But unless they are boinking you for free, they are doing it for the money.

Some are motivated by $200 per hour.  Others are motivated by $250 per hour.  Still others are motivated by $300 per hour.  A few are even motivated by $350 per hour.  And I've occasionally come across providers who needed even greater motivation.

The philosopher you're referring to is Socrates.  But I'm thinking of a more modern "philosopher" in composing this post: "We don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day" – Linda Evangelista.

-- Modified on 9/19/2007 10:23:20 PM

the equivalent of (for example) a school teacher or a State worker?  I bet we'd see 90% of them quit the business. So when ANY provider says its not about the money I can't help but chuckle.

Sure, once they've been in the business for a while and have a bunch of money, nice cars, etc., it might become *less* about the money. Other perks of the job such as the attention from men, being wined and dined, making your own schedule, come and go as you please, good sex, meeting interesting people, etc.. are certainly appealing.  But without the big bucks and easy money, you'd find very few women left in the hobby.

So why does your "12" girl have sex for money even though she could snag a super rich dude and live a lavish lifestyle? Maybe she's just not ready to be in a "real" relationship. Maybe she doesn't want to be fully dependent on a guy. But I doubt she's hooking just for the sex!

It's possible for a lady to teach herself to get an orgasm or two during a session, no matter who she's with.

There are a few women who get into it as a kink, and if she likes kinky sex, being a provider is a good place to put yourself.  It also turns what would otherwise be a possibly costly negative into a positive, money-making enterprise.

Even if she likes the sex, remember that she has learned to do it for the money.  It is still a business.  

They are getting paid to have sex..let's think about the beauty of that statement.

At $400 an hour * 7 men a week (I'll be conservative, here) that's $145,600 a year...TO GET LAID. And, based on my numbers, THEY ARE WORKING SEVEN HOURS A WEEK!!!

It's a bottom line business. I dont care what any provider says, they are in it because of the large amounts of money they receive. At the end of the day, there is no way they could make any where near this amount doing something else.  

While I'll admit that this profession is not for every woman, those who can handle the situation are extremely well paid  

-- Modified on 9/20/2007 5:01:31 AM

plus a lot of overhead.

Also, $250-300/hr. is the more typical rate paid, from what I have seen.

It can be a good living, but it ain't easy street yet.

I am a relatively newbie hobbyist.  But I'm also a member of a profession, an old one, not as old as the oldest.  I work for money and would not work if I didn't get paid, but I also enjoy my work a lot of the time.  There is nothing at all strange about that, and I suspect that something like that is true of providers.  Check.  Not only that, but it is common for members of my profession to develop quasi-social relationships with clients.  Sometimes the client is boring and uninteresting or a bad person, and sometimes he or she is terrific and someone I really enjoy dealing with.  But if possible I try to keep the time we must spend together pleasant and to appear as though I think the other person is interesting and fun to be with.  Check.  And of course, what I do is not so different from what many, many people do in their work.  There is no question that a provider will try to fuck with your head, but they are perhaps not so different from others in this respect.  I am not claiming this is easy to figure out -- actually I had a horrible experience after having come to trust a provider, and these discussions are extremely helpful to me.  But where what they do has similarities to what others do, that's worth remembering.

I know my own expenses--

When I'm touring: hotels, airfare, extra regional ads, meals, cabfare etc...

12 months a year, permanent expenses:

rent on nice but not lavish incall apt- 1200/mo
utilities for same- 120/mo
household supplies/refreshments 100/mo
advertising 400/mo
website expenses 75/mo
lingerie and roleplay clothes 200/mo
photography 500-600/every 3 or 4 months

the list goes on and on.

Of course, Hardy knows all this. He just likes to get girls riled up with his "they're all rich bitches" approach.

is a MUST!  Most of the women I know in this hobby who do really well prefer the multihour appointments... and they manage their money well - that is, they invest - have a second job etc... so... while some do extremely well... most are average income... and have modest lives... and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

For those hobbyists who think their ATF genuinely has feelings for them. Take the money out of the equation and see what happens. If she continues to see you for free, there is something there. If not, well then you have your answer.

A provider recently asked me whether her rate was fair (she's $500/hr).  My response was simple:  Any amount of money that you feel you need to charge to feel comfortable having sexual encounters with strange men is a fair price as far as I'm concerned.  Whether that price is fair for the HOBBYIST, however, is a totally separate question.

The price that both participants agree upon, without coercion by either side, is the fair price.  That price could be anywhere from $50 (for a typical street-walker in the South Bronx) to $350 (typical call-girl in Manhattan) to $5,000,000 (typical marriage in Connecticut and New Jersey LOL).  

If a provider puts her ass up for sale each week, hoping to get at least $2,000, but only gets $1,000, she may be charging too much.  She'll have to lower her prices to do a greater volume in order to get the money she wants for her services.  It's a trade-off.

To be fair, some of the things you listed as business expenses are actually living expenses, too.  You'd be paying for rent and utilities whether you provided or not, right?  Read my thread below -- I sincerely doubt that most providers are anywhere near "rich."  But most of you could easily earn much MUCH more than the average person in this country.


PS., You're really hot, BTW.  Really.  Hot.  I'm panting like a dog here.  I love your pics.

It sounded to me as if she was referring to rent & utilities on a separate location (aka NOT where she lives).  In that respect, it would be like office rent for a business.

I personally like variety, but I can get all the sex I want in my civilian life. That said, the kind of sex I can usually get in my civvie life (college guys who act entitled to your body, emotionally complex relationships or affairs, drunken hookups and one night stands) are not satisfying to me beyond the basic physical act, and often not even that! I have three fuck-buddies who satisfy different sexual needs and aspects on occasion, but the hobby provides something they don't.

I'd say I'm in this obviously as a career choice, but also as a vehicle for sexual and personal exploration and enjoyment- the enjoyment of meeting people, of pleasuring them, and of being pleasured, and of learning about the complexities of human relationships and desires (I'm a psych major, lol). Even if I had all the money I needed for the rest of my life, I think would still want to provide and see select clients on occasion. As it is, I love sex, and as long as I don't overextend myself or get burnt out (which I ensure by taking only 1-2 dates in any given day, and refusing to see clients again if I don't enjoy the time together) it is usually enjoyable. Plus, as a bisexual woman, the hobby opens up opportunities for wild threesomes- one of my favorite activities and somewhat hard to arrange in real life without awkwardness. So, while there is a level of having to be at your best and make sure you aim to please during a date, I don't feel that I have to fake it or act my way through things to do what I do- and if/when that starts to happen, I will probably stop and move on to something else, or at least take a break.

The one thing that I've noticed is that sometimes someone will say something offhandedly, either a comment about me, or something political, could be anything really- but if it's something I feel strongly about, I'm a pretty opinionated person, so on that occasion it can be difficult to hold my tongue and smile and go along with it. I have to pick my battles though. Some guys, whom I've gotten to know well, know that if I am upset or disagree, I will politely say so, and our respect for each other is stronger because we can communicate openly with each other.. But with new clients or clients with whom I don't have that rapport, sometimes I feel that it is part of my job to play the demure agreeable woman, and hold my tongue. It's a judgment call, but more often than not this is not an issue.

One other thing I've thought of is that I find this to be an opportunity to engage sexually with more mature and respectful men- I actually enjoy older men more than college guys, and this is a great way to explore different facets of my sexuality. In addition, I think the provider-client relationship has some great dynamics that make for an amazing sexual experience- the boundaries and expectations are set, both parties know what to expect, and both parties are free to take it for what it is and really let go in the moment. The hobby removes the pressures and the awkwardness of expectations, relationships, etc. and makes for a "pure" yet fleeting form of intimacy which I find absolutely fascinating. The context is a turn-on to me in and of itself, so even if I had sex with a civvie fuck buddy or boyfriend 1-4 times daily, it wouldn't provide the variety or the unique dynamic of the hobby.

Sorry for the long tangent, lol. Hope this helps answer your question from a provider's perspective!~

XoXo
Marea

-- Modified on 9/20/2007 7:15:45 PM

-- Modified on 9/20/2007 7:24:51 PM

genuine feelings or emotions.

I have real and fond feelings for a few of my regulars, and in fact a genuine affection for many to most of my repeat clientele. Do I see them for free? No. Do the feelings I have equal the feelings I have for my civilian friends and family members? No. Will I over time? Perhaps. But different does not mean invalid. The idea that the feelings shared are not genuine because money is exchanged, well, I just don't agree. Are there gals who pretend to like you for your money? Sure, that's their job, to make you feel good. But I do genuinely like the people I see regularly- if I didn't I couldn't honestly do what I do. Other gals may approach it differently, or disconnect in order to do their job, but I am able to connect within the boundaries that are there. Certainly there is an exchange occurring, which is the basis of the relationship- but it's not that one-sided. We fulfill a need for sexual release and companionship; our clients pay us for a valuable service so we can pay our bills, put ourselves through college, save for our futures, whatever.

Think about it this way. If you see someone as a therapist or a doctor, you may have a genuine liking and closeness with them. You often have to, to have such a trusting and intimate relationship of this kind. In fact, I would hope that you would seek out a professional with whom you did have a rapport- there are so many choices, why see someone you don't genuinely like or trust? Still, you think that they should see you free because you have a mutual affection or friendliness? We are professionals- this is our job. It's not free.

XoXo
Marea

-- Modified on 9/20/2007 7:40:06 PM

-- Modified on 9/20/2007 7:54:30 PM

Great letter.  Hope my ATF feels the same--EOM

I do have a totally separate establishment for seeing clients... so the expenses I listed are above and beyond my own living expenses.

But thank you for the compliment... that's priceless!

....and have not asked her?  Wouldn't that be the obvious way to find our HER answer?