I was driving home, thinking about the hobby and all the interesting people I met. The guys who are married, who see ladies for whatever reason. Some say their spouses are cold, but won't leave because of the kids. Some say they see ladies because their wives just don't fulfill their needs and some know about it. Some, like myself, do it because we can and have no reason to have guilt or remorse or have to justify it. We just do.

So, that being said, how many of you guys would mind if your wife or SO was a provider? I mean, knowing what you know, and what these ladies have to deal with, could you, or more to the point would you, mind if she fucked other guys for money and came home to you after?

I know some ladies that infact live like this. Their men know what they do and are alright with it. To me, that takes a lot of love, patience and understanding.

Could you do it? Would you look at your woman the same way knowing she came home after fucking another guy? Or guys? For money?

I know I could. But let's hear what you have to say....

question put forth.  Ya, I'd love to see her do ANYTHING to bring some money in, rather than just empty the checking account! Certainly wouldn't be any jealosy issues.  Actually she does (DID) give one helluva great BJ.  That's about the extent of it though....she has gone so long without sex, I think the slit between her legs has healed!

I guess this would be a non-issue for me but it was interesing in the hypothetical sense!

There's always the option that she's just gone that long without sex with your bitter self.
Never know. Maybe that BJ talent isn't going to waste and the slit is doing juuuuust fine.

With no apologies.

I'm in the "loves my wife" group, and any other issues aside, would hate to see her have to put up with everything that a pro puts up with.  Assholes, fear of arrest, potential for disease, getting robbed or beaten, having to fuck other old fat guys like me but whom don't seem to know about soap, having to read reviews of your performance written by all of the above.

Nope, as much as I like and respect many of these ladies, I wouldn't wish their job on my wife, even if I could handle it emotionally.

not how the guy feels, IMO. Ladies, you say you want to find a guy who is ok with what you do but you don't. You hate it if we're ok with it. You want us to want you to quit, you don't want to be able to talk to us about your appointments.

But.

You want us to not be OK with it in some magical way that exists on a sliding scale that automatically adjusts to fit your mood, and you want that adjustment seamless and instantaneous.

You don't really believe in your soul that we could love you and be able to separate fucking from making love. And that's a pity.

You brought up some damn good points and left us with something to think about.

Thank you very much!

Didn't think something like this would come up. I find it a very interesting point of view.

Like I said, just askin'. No judgements here.

Then YOU can have 1st crack at her!
If you can get her mouth open.....I'll shut mine!

BTW...I don't think I'll have to quit talking in this lifetime!

SPECIALLY MATURE PROVIDER..

Thats my goal and wish...lol

I don't think I'll take that bet.

Good thing you keep some things outside the checkbook!

You and I and my twisted way of thinking?

Or...

That you wouldn't pass judgement on your SO if she was a provider?

I think I know the answer to both already.

very possibly the best post ever!

You know, of course, that you'll get bashed as hell with all sorts of screams of denial.

But a nail has never been hit on the head so well.

FWIW, I happen to agree with Craven, but why the alias? Are you really that scared of everyone else's opinion on the subject.

Back to the topic at hand. I don't believe there is a double standard, I think it's more like a triple standard. One for men, one for women and another for providers in a relationship. lol

I have dated several providers, and with very few exceptions, none of them were ok with me seeing other providers. Anyone who has ever dated an active provider will recognize these words. "But when I do it, it's only business" lol

At least now when someone gets bashed for stating his opinion it will be me instead of Craven, because I have the balls to make my statement without hiding behind an alias. Craven, you are welcome for taking all of your heat for you. It's only honesty when you actually stand behind your post.

Just because we aren't together any more doesn't give me the right to drag her into this discussion - and enough people knew us as a couple that it's guaranteed that would happen. It's consideration, nothing more.

There are legitimate reasons for alias use.

Really dude. Enough of this "alias" shit of yours.

An alias is used by those of us who participate in the sytem. We have a personna, we review, we attend events. Our "handle" is an identity of sorts. Sometimes we may wish to state an opinion outside of that perceived personna, and that's ok.

Now there are others who do not participate. They do not review, they do not give back, and they do not play a part in the process. But sometimes they are the LOUDEST in blasting the use of an alias.
Sound familiar?

Some people are very happy to pronounce that they don't need this system. They travel to 3rd world countries and have as many chicas as they can, night after night. Well more power to them!!
But they should not come back here and pretend that they are part of the system and have any say in things.

If what they do works for them, well happy days. But when it comes to saying anything about those of us who are here and part of the process? Well, they should just grab whatever "balls" they claim,,,,and shove them up their own ass so that they might be quiet for a while.

Get over your alias bashing attitude as soon as you are willing to become part of the community.

but everytime someone like you makes a post like this, that someone like me agrees with. I am the one that gets bashed, and you get to slink back into anonymity.

Virtually every time someone makes an "honest" post like yours, they do from behind the safety of an alias. IMO it's only an "honest" post if you are willing to stand behind your words.

and I have no reason to defend myself to you or anyone else without the balls to identify him/herself.

I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 10,000 posts on TER over a period of about six years, who the fuck are you???

If you have the balls, identify yourself. If not, FUCK OFF!!! Everyone on TER knows who I am, who the fuck are you??? A fucking coward, that's who. Man up, or Fuck off.

Think about what brought you to this point in your life.  Did she stop working and/or going to school after marrying you?  Did you decide to have children and jointly decide she would stay home with them??

Take it from me...your wife is HORNY and WAITING for you to fucking RAVISH her!!!  Try that instead of being complacent and ignoring HER sexual needs.

I used to masturbate every time after having sex with my ex.  He sucked in bed and never tried making it fun or even the slightest bit better.  Now I am having the time of my life!  I get to fuck LOTS of men and enjoy every minute of it.

I get to have the part of you your wife never gets.  I get all the passion, wildness etc...  So, for that I thank all the married men!

Seems I hit a nerve there, GA boy.

I have identified myself. Just as much as you have. No reviews, "handle" means nothing. Just another poster behind a keyboard.

Seems to me that the ones who pronounce so loudly that they have "balls" are the least likely to posess that trait.

This, my friend, in case you are wondering,,,,,would be you.

Maybe you should take your own advice in your last sentence.

what you say is not true for us.  I love what I do and love fucking him too.  We go to swingers clubs and fuck other couples.  We are best friends and are completely open with each other about everything.  

Don't generalize due to your experience.  There are many ladies such as myself who have an SO that enjoys this lifestyle as much as we do.  

No need to separate fucking from making love...Just FUCK!  Have fun with it!  Who cares about the sexual act itself.  It is what we do outside of the bedroom that makes us work.

He can fuck whoever he wants to fuck and so can I.  We are cool with it.  Why not?!?  He is a man.  He will always want to fuck other women.  I am a woman who will always want to fuck other men and women.  Why not go for it?  I do!  I love the variety of men and women I get to fuck.

If he ever gets to the point that he is not okay with it, then HE can leave.  I love my life just the way it is.

address, phone number and who have been to my place of business. I have hosted M&G's, attended several hosted by others, virtually every moderator knows me by my "real name", not to mention the dozens of hobbyists I have met in person.

You OTOH are a gutless troll, too fucking scared to crawl out from under your "veil of anonymity".

I've got nothing else to say to a coward like you. Argue with yourself if it amuses you.

Seems like you'd be smart enough to quit agreeing with aliases then. But then of course you couldn't thump your chest and act like you're better than everyone else, or whine about how abused you are.

I used an alias to keep someone else out of the spotlight when expressing MY opinion. You don't like it, well - who asked ya?

Oops. Sorry I let it go this far.

My bad. Sincerely.

I could. Ten years ago I would have said no way.  Of course, I'm never gettin' married again so it's irrelevant!

with your statement "You get what You give"....You yourself stated You had to masturbate after having sex with your ex...and I am taking it...You were giving a lot...I have had boyfriends that did Not give half of what I was giving...and also me and a bunch of my girlfriends go out once a week for Happy Hour...some are married...and a couple of them complain about how they hate sex..lol...and I do laugh...and I think to myself...I wouldn't mind doing there husbands...however I would Never approach them...poor guys...who knows maybe they too Enjoy the hobby

I don't want any Guy telling me to quit...I Love sex and there is a difference between Sex and making Love...the emotions are different...I have to say...this is the funniest thing I have read...."You want us to not be OK with it" Why would that be...I personally think it would be Awesome to find a man that was perfectly OK with what I do...then I would get the best of both worlds...and to answer You qustion....Yes, I truly believe in my Soul that I could separate fucking from making Love..there is a Huge difference...are You sure it isn't You that could have the problem....

Never could understand hiding behind an alias. Especially when you're trying to make a point.

Gambler, are you and I the only ones that will speak up?

If that's the case, let me know the next trip to Costa Rica. I just might stay.

I know it won't hurt some people's feelings here...

"I know I could. But let's hear what you have to say...."

Really, and this from a man who has never been married, as you have professed many times.

You would likely feel completely different if you fell in love with that someone very special. I'm pretty sure of that.

I myself have been divorced over 20 years. But, if I were to settle down even I would not be Okay with that.

Perhaps you are one of those 'one in a million' that can. But then, would she be able to put up with you're incessant drinking? Perhaps even a provider would get their fill of that in good time.

I made the deliberate choice to be a provider just last October. I'm 53. I have no guilt, no low-self-esteem issues, and no self-hatred. I know there's a difference between simple fucking and making love; I've known since I was twenty and catting in bars between SOs.

My late bf knew it too, when I went to parties just to play (still giving it away at that time). He was a voyeur; he loved hearing my stories of my playmates and then taking his time to make love to me. He'd have loved for me to have been a provider, just so I had new stories for him to get turned on by. (Unfortunately, he died five years ago.)

So, my point is, not all ladies are in this because they don't like themselves. Or have some kind of soul-hurt. Or because it's all they know how to do. Some of us - me included - are darn proud of being providers!

Everything else is ASSumption.

My gf/former provider goes nuts at the MENTION of certain favs. She is,however,open to the idea of fmf trysts as long as she is with me. Possessive? Hell yes.

FWIW, I don't like the idea of her seeing anyone else either. I don't believe in double standards. Tit-for-tat(maybe pun intended)lol.

keep it secret, I mean to yourself and don't give it out for scurrying favors then, you don't need to use alias.

Aliasses have no balls period.

My husband is a hell of a lot more advanced in dealing with my profession, than I am in dealing with my jealousy issues.

I am grateful that he loves me enough to deal with that, and to handle my 'green eyed' monster with care. He knows wherefrom it stems, and he knows that I want him to have fun on an intellectual level, but just can't handle it on an emotional level (yet). So we have a deal. If I don't set it up (yes I have scheduled appointments with providers for him), or if I am not there (yes we have enjoyed the swinging lifestyle), then he best make damn sure I never find out. And that works for us. I truly believe that what I don't know can't hurt me, and since I do trust him, I just prefer it this way.

Craven had a good point, about the provider he lived with having moments where she 'wanted' him to be jealous. I had those same issues in the beginning as a provider, and for the exact same reasons he alluded to. The double edged sword, so to speak. I did come to realize that it was an insane way of thinking. I love being a provider, and am super grateful every day that I have a supportive and loving man who not only accepts me, but does not have a single solitary 'bad' thought about 'what I do'. I think it helps that we have known each other for many years, and before I became a provider.

In fact, when I first expressed interest in doing this, it was he who explained the 'emotional' drain that it would be. He introduced me to the 'industry' and told me his own stories about being a 'john'.

My husband loves me deeply, would kill a man if he hurt me, but has zero jealousy about who I fuck. He does however get pissed if I am not home when I said I would be, if I plan a tour without asking him, or if I make a last minute appointment without letting him know in advance. He is jealous about my time and my companionship, and I guard those feelings of his with care as well.

The real Truth of the Matter, in my case at least, is that I did not love or respect myself when I first became a provider. That showed in my secret (and sometimes not so secret) desire that my SO make me stop, get jealous, or otherwise have a sliding scale of not being accepting. It is precisely through both his acceptance and love, combined with the extraordinarily empowering experiences of having men pay to be in my company, that has helped me to become much more self loving and self accepting. For me at least, this profession has done more to 'heal me' than 10 years of therapy ever did.

comitment, love, and trust to be able to have this relationship.
I don't like what she does.
She knows I don't like what she does.

I don't partake in the hobby at all, mself, and that seems to help some.

But the bottom line is this....

no matter who she sees for "work", no matter how queezy I get about it sometimes, after every appointment,

she always come back home to me.

And that is all that matters to me.

My SO and I both participate in the hobby, albeit from different points of view, but that is part of the interest.

Think of it as if it were a romance between a concert pianist and a music reviewer.

It makes for a very interesting relationship, in a Spenser Tracy/Katherine Hepburn sort of way.

what you say rings true for some i am sure, most especially those who may be carrying some old and deep emotional scars, and who have yet to reach that point in life of true love and acceptance of self. that would certainly describe a percentage of women in this hobby. however, i would say that such women are far from the rule.

i am happily married, have been with my Husband my entire adult life, and did not pursue escorting until long after we were married. it was done with his permission and assistance. now of course my motivations for pursuing this hobby are different than most in that i do not truly care about the money involved past the fact that it serves to create a healthy emotional boundary which is necessary given the nature of the relationships i develop with my clients. and i'll be honest, part of me also finds it quite objectifying (which i find uberhot). my Husband shares these feelings with me, from enjoying my therapeutic approach to providing, to being aroused by the objectification of it. we enjoy talking about it and he knows intimate details about all of my clients and the unique relationship i share with each particular man.

what i would hate is to be with a man who simply tolerated what i did...who did not truly enjoy it for himself, who did not see the value or beauty or eroticism in it, and who merely treated it like a "job" that his wife has. bank teller, beautician, escort, whatever, doesn't make a difference to him. that would make all of this feel very dirty to me (in a bad way), and would really crush me emotionally. thankfully i do not have to deal with that, and have a Man who loves this as much as i do.

1 - I would rather my current wife have a complete sexual attitude and life than the big ZERO she currently has.  As long as she kept our relationship the priority and unique, I would rsther her screw around for whatever reason than be how she is now.  (So why not get $$$ out of it).  Her having sex behind my back would not be acceptable.

2 - Future SO?...it depends on the person and the nature of the relationship really.  Some I have seen and am fond of, I would probably be fine with it.  Others it would be more difficult.  No problem with a swinging relationship where it is all shared as a "team" in some form.  It really would depend on the person and the relationship (live-in SO is different than married IMO).  There are WONDERFUL women in this that do sincerely love it.  Still, relationships are often hard for them to pull off.  Many of them have told me this.

And I agree. I especially dig the 'concert pianist and music reviewer' scenario.

A lovely lady, we both know, told me trust, love and communication are key. She should know, since she's been with the same guy for 20 years.

I think of myself as highly sexual. My mate would certainly not *do without* in the bedroom. Shit, the kitchen, the bathroom, the den, the garage, wherever.

But if this is her vocation, and knowing what I know, I sure as shit can't bitch about it.

Though, she couldn't say shit if I wanted to get some strange either.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Happy Valentine's Day...let's just All go out...and have a Very Pleasurable Fun Fullfilled everyone giving 100% sexually desirable day today...sound good to You

I have never been married. But, I have lived with ladies. Some had children infact. One ex I was with had a daughter that I loved very much and thought of her as my own. She would run up to me when I came home from work and hug the shit out of me. Her and her mother would play-argue saying 'my Mikey' and the other would say 'No! My Mikey'.

Her father was killed a few years ago. Shot in the chest with a shot gun infront of a bar. Talented guy, musician. I went so far as to contact her school principal to ask if there was anything I could do to help this little lady. Never got an answer.  

But that was before the hobby. I have since been in this community for a couple of years. Not long by most standards of the people that reside here, but none the less, I am a part of this community.

I've seen and dealt with a lot of shit in my life. Pre-hobby and up to now. You mentioned my drinking.

I'll admit, I drink more than a person should. It's what I do. I don't hit women, and as a matter of fact think it's chickenshit if a man does and I'll be the first to kick your door in if that's what you do.

You being in general, not you specifically...

So yeah, I like to think that I have a certain sense of tolerance and respect and love for another person's choices. I don't want to *own* anybody, by no means.

I'm just saying, if I had a lady that provided, I would have no problem with it. I'm the last person to pass judgement on anyone.

BTW, don't get me started when I used to do drugs and other shit...

I feel stifled in my job. And when I have to pay bills every month. The routine, the monotany, just fucking sucks.

And then I got into this. The variety and the choices. The camaraderie. The flirting with ladies and eventually meeting them.

Who am I to pass judgement on someone that wants, or does, live with a provider? Married or not. Has kids with them or not. Just two people that dig each other and want to be with each other.

What's wrong with that?

Does it matter what one does for a living? If one or the other or both are hypersexual?

As long as there is trust and honesty, what's the deal?

It works for some people. Other people, most infact, have a problem with it. Does that make it wrong? IMO only to the people that have a problem with it.

Too bad you used an alias. I'd love to fuck you and you me.

it's just one more smelly turd hitting the HORSESHIT pile!  I also have no doubt that there are women who do all they can, only to watch their SO's become lazy ass, oxygen wasting, lumps of flesh like excrement!
That statement and those like it (the love you take is equal to the love you make, etc) are the most ludicrous, ridiculous generalizations known to man!  They are good for making morons like Dr. Phil, lots of money.  Over time, they have people believing it's true, and then make even more money!  Echhhh!
Tell ya what....you start digging a hole!  For every shovelful of dirt you remove, I'll put one back in. See how long it takes until you figure out you aren't making any progress! (in your case it could be years).  According to your statement, we should both be in there digging, equal amounts of dirt.  Penguins share equally for life...people seldom do!

I guess all I am saying is....YOU are totally full of SHIT!

I would not mind at all, though it would simplify if she did it for fun rather than money. In fact my wife looks really hot and when she provides for me, I fantasize someone else banging her as it really turns me on. Sadly she has cut down the providing for me to a trickle which is a pity.

Your EX hubby of 18 years probably didn't figure when he married you that you wanted to be a HO!
Maybe at the time, not a prostitute, just a HO!

Did you take the time to discuss your sexual needs with this hubby who could not satisfy you?  Did you let him know what type of sex you desired?  Probably not. Just went around the neighborhood fucking every guy you could talk into it.

Hubby couldn't handle sharing you with every guy in town, or guessing when he kissed you, whose cum he was tasting!

YOU failed to make your marriage work!  You could not give up fucking everything in sight, then justified it to yourself saying your hubby was just shitty in the sack!
You preach one thing and have lived another!  Your marriage failed because YOU did not make any effort to put some of his needs before your own.
Then you tell me I have failed to tend to my wife's needs?????  Hypocrite!

Your last statement sums you up quite well "I love my life the way it is".  
I find it amusing that someone so obviously so self indulging, self important, and self centered has the nerve to tell someone else how they are failing their wife, or SO.  You found a mate (for now) that will go along with your nympho life style, and your HO mentality.  Good for you!
However, I hardly find that enough to make you an authority on relationships, since you are such an obvious failure!
A street walking HO in escort clothing!  Geesh!

ha ha ha ha!!!  That's me laughing my ass off all the way to the bank.  You have no respect here.  You are a loser and you are just plain mean.  I almost feel sorry for you.  ALMOST!

Nice little 'story' you created.  Sounds like SOMEONE (you) is a little BITTER!  LMAO!!!  Too many details in YOUR STORY not to be YOUR life!  LOSER!  How did that cum taste on your wife's lips?  Turn around is fair play jerk-off.

I love being a HO!  Woooooo Hoooooo!  

Happy Valentine's Day Loser!  Too Fucking Funny!

I love it!

it fits plenty of women who preach the same fucking stupid thing!

As for being a loser, if you were a HO (a female HO), I would have to agree that Yep, I have to pay for sex. But at the end of the session, I leave and go back to whatever it was I was....but YOU will still be a HO!!!!

I mentioned to you before, you really should change your writing style if you're gonna play nasty provider!  Same thing with your "you're mean" shit!  Look at the crap you write under your various aliases...then tell me about mean, LOSER!
It's been fun playing, but you are really boring me with your off base bullshitand your crosseyed commentaries!

to the two people involved.  Whether it is how to hobby, or marriage.  Too many assholes (typically behind aliases) want to sit in judgement of who is a man and who is not, who is hobbying correctly and who is not, who is a whore and who is ... well they think all the women are whores.  LOL  

Anyway, still not sure why some care so much about what others do. Especially in this place where we are all freaks to society.

But my personal answer was that it would depend on who it is and the circumstances because one half of a couple (me) can not make a call on my own.

All I know is dishonesty behind my back is a non-starter.  AND the double standard that some ladies on this board have stated in the past -- that it is their job so they can still do others while their SO must be monogmous -- would be completely unacceptable.

You can call me a HO all you like...Ha ha ha!  I AM a ho you moron!  Who fucking CARES!?  I sure don't.  

Sooooo, you "go back to whatever it was I was"...Stupid Man...So do I!  BUT!  I go back richer for it!  NOT YOU!  

I LOVE being a HO!  So sling it babe!  Give me all ya got!  YOU on the other hand are still a LOSER!!!!  I have EVERYTHING I want and need.  GREAT sex, lots of money and a GREAT life full of fun, adventures, free travel and LOTS of passion, SEX, SEX and MORE SEX!  

What do YOU really have?!?!?  A wife who is repulsed by you who cannot even stand your touch!  Therefore you must venture out to see ladies who also cannot stand you but put up with your sorry ass because you may have $$$ that month.  IF you're LUCKY!!!

LOSER, LOSER, LOSER!!!!  I am not boring you too much since you cannot resist replying.  Strike a nerve asshole?!?!?  

Buh BYE!!!!!!!  Go back to your BORING life.  Me on the other hand have BIG plans to get laid!  Yes!  Me the HO is being treated to dinner AGAIN!  Imagine THAT?!?!?

I would not even entertain corresponding with you except for the fact that you are hated by so many ladies I know.  I hope your funds run dry as well as your lube!  HA Ha Ha!  Enjoy your wife!  

Hmmmmmmm..you never answered me...how DOES that cum taste in her mouth???  ROTFLMAO!!!!