How likely is it for a provider to consent to spend OTC time dining with a client (Assuming the session was fine and there's some rapport between the two.) after the session?

I'd say that half the time a gal is amenable to that, and while I don't necessarily pay for the time outright, I do adjust her tip somewhat.  25% of the time a gal will politely demur, and 25% of the time the gal will reject the idea with prejudice.

So, I do ask, perhaps not at our first date, but often in subsequent dates, especially if we seem to click.

What are others experiences?

It's most likely they offered me a steak lol.  I'm a vegan and while there are a ton of places I eat on the strip...sometimes it is easier to politely decline instead of having a conversation about my food choices lol. Now if someone asks ahead or what I like...I simply tell them anything at Wynn or Harrahs properties is good for me and will dine otc if we click and mesh well. I can't stand awkward silent dinners so it would be dependant on if we held a good conversation.  I rather dine otc anyday then be with a client who is trying to suck every single second out of the hour instead of just booking more time so we don't have to rush and Sprint to a race.

Now it's: 'let's have sex, and if I'm lucky maybe she'll want to have dinner later' lol  ?????

I'm sorry, but this whole thing about paying for non-bcd time is the weirdest part of the hobby  for me.  Neither party has an obligation to spend this sort of time with the other, but charging for it??? and worse, paying for it????

The transaction is for the fantasy. After that, if two people feel they click and have the time, we share a meal or a walk in the mall or a drink.  

Like I said, no one is obligated to say 'yes' but paying for it should not be the deal breaker -- if two people cannot share free time for, well for free, then it should not happen.

-- Modified on 3/4/2017 3:12:06 PM

For me, it really depends on how well I know the person and how much I enjoy being around them. My choice doesn't just stop there though.  

What else am I doing the rest of the day? Do I have personal things I need to be doing? How tired am I? What mood am I in? Am I even hungry at this moment? Do I feel like eating where you suggest? Perhaps I feel like catching up on tv shows or it feels too cold out for me to want to venture out? Do I have things I need to do so that it is taken care of later in the week when I go to concerts or sporting events?

I tend to lead a busy life, mainly because of my family. (No children or SO, but I do have family who I take to the DRs and spend time with). I spend a lot of time with friends as well. I fit things in where I can.  

I use to do a lot of OTC time with certain guys but lately I have been more in an "alone" type of mood. I have social moments and I have plenty of alone moments where I just want to be lost in my own thoughts. I still occasionally go out to meals OTC. I also tend to eat earlier, so likely I have eaten already.

I have gone to dinner with a guy I had just met before. I have been know to let sessions run a little over (OTC) and that adds up. Mainly because I enjoy the person and want to converse with them.  

I did quite a bit of OTC time exploring Chicago the last two times I was there. I felt like going out and having fun, exploring. I am sure when I tour this summer, I will want to go out and do OTC time exploring and being as I won't know anyone in 3 of the 4 cities, I will be pretty open to it for the right people. Plus I will be staying for an extended time so I can enjoy those cities personally.

If it involves jet skiing, a sports event, or motorcycle riding you will likely get a yes from me than if asking for me to do something I am not all that into doing at that moment. I don't turn down Brewers (or any Baseball games if I am out of town) or College Football games lol. Not to watch on TV, but to actually go to the game.

Massages and hot tubs tend to be of interest as well.

Some gals have busy lives and maybe don't want to say no, but just don't have the time. I am sure some have children they need to get home to.

Sometimes a no, is a no right now. Sometimes it is just a no. If I do want to but can't, I will say "maybe next time".

END OF MESSAGE

Some of the best fine dining plant based meal was at Pannevino. Absolutely scrumptious.

Every once in a while, she will tell me that she has an appointment coming up and she just doesn't have time.  But far more often than not - if I offer to buy lunch; she'll go.  

Never had "rejection with prejudice"  if I did - I doubt I'd see her again.  I'd be embarrassed that I had misread her that badly.  You'd think she'd understand how to decline more gracefully than that - as in "I have an appointment coming up...".  Sort of a job skill isn't it?  I mean - it's just lunch....

On the other hand - it's been a multihour session - and she probably really does need to eat...

after our session.. OTC..  why not..

Not with almost all of the providers I see, especially my favs, whom I see frequently. They're either married or have SOs, and most have kids. Another is in grad school. Several have other jobs. So "free time" is a precious commodity for them, and at the end of the day they want to head home to be with their loved ones, or go to school or homework or another job, or just go home and collapse on the sofa.

I don't tend to schedule providers close to lunchtime, so lunches are usually out of the question.  Breakfast sometimes works, although some ladies have kids they need to get off to school, or morning exercise classes etc.  Every so often a provider will have a break in her schedule and ask if I'd like to stay awhile, but more often than not she has to get ready for another client or do something else more important than spending more time with me, eg getting dinner for her kids.

I have, too many times.

It's hard work and deserves pay, just sayin'.

she was ungracious in any way.  Only that she explained that it is her personal philosophy to have a wall between her escort self and her private self, and that social occasions like dinner represent a breach of that philosophy.

I respect and even commend people with clear visions on this subject, and most of those providers are people I still see and cherish being able to do so.

I guess I was being to legal-minded.  In law, the term means that the issue can not be brought up again.

I have to entertain clients all the time and in some cases it's most definitely "work" and no way would I be having dinner/drinks etc if I weren't getting paid or at least hoping to get paid for my efforts. OTOH I have clients who have become friends, some rather quickly after a single meeting, others over a period of time, where I look forward to spending social time with them.  

Hookers spending social time with clients are much the same. I know "some" hookers are rather mercenary with their time and expect to get paid for every single second spent with a client, others are like me and willing to blur the lines a bit with clients that they like.  

I am sure all of us who have to deal with clients have clients that we actually like, and others we wouldn't spend a single second with if we weren't getting paid. Personally, if a lady thinks she has to be "on" when having a meal or drink with me, I'd just as soon spend my non BCD time with someone else. I don't need a hooker to like me in order to have an hour or so's worth of sex with her (although it does usually make the sex a lot better), but I have ZERO desire to spend social time with someone who would much rather be anywhere else than with me. Please Ladies, if you don't really like my company, do us both a favor and make a nice polite excuse about having another client coming and don't suffer through a dinner with me that you aren't going to enjoy

Great discussion points.  Here's how I respond:

Yes, I have entertained clients, but I tend to only do this with the ones I want to be with. And I agree, I've had to be sort of on, but once again, these are people I enjoy being with or I wouldn't be out with them.  

But that said, I don't get paid by a client for dining with/entertaining them.  I pay, they enjoy. We build the relationship - it's the way business is done in my field.  

Now where it's work, is when I have to go to a professional event. Standing around and talking to people I barely know during the cocktail hour can be trying. But I don't get paid for that either - it's part of the job, and I do tend to be able to find some people I actually want to be with, even then.

I've been out with providers - at their suggestion and mine. We've gone to a supermarket, a 5 star restaurant, Wal-Mart, regular restaurants, bars, ballgames, and lots in between. But we both wanted to be there with each other, or so it seemed to me. No one got paid for that sort of time. I paid for what all we did/bought, but that's it. We'd have fun, and there are many I've repeated with.  

That probably makes me lucky, but that's been my experience.
 

-- Modified on 3/4/2017 7:14:37 PM

I've known many providers, some of them are all business, and others are more open to OTC.  I've known girls who set timers for their sessions and wouldn't dream of spending 5 minutes OTC, much less spending an hour or more sharing a meal.  Others like myself are pleased to enjoy a meal with a client provided we get along well and are comfortable together.  I've had some really nice meals after sessions, and consider if one of the perks of being a provider.

A confounding issue is that many providers have a rate schedule that already includes dinner.  So then if they are hinting at dinner afterwards, then it seems reasonable to clarify whether it is OTC or not.  The suggestion that they'd be offended by that question because they are human after all, conveniently ignores their published rate schedule where that exact scenario is covered often with the warning "not subject to negotiation."

The experience of sharing a meal and conversation, and then having things "naturally" progress later on It feels more like a real date that way.  

If he requires as part of his ideal experience, to have dinner with an attractive woman, who treats him a certain way, and makes him feel a certain way... that's a service. Not only that, it is *exactly what escorts do for a living.*  

Besides, during that time, she could be doing something else. Work, family, studying, reading, rest, exercise, etc. As stated by NoGreenBorderedEnvelope, some escorts have families, work, grad school, or other obligations... or, as MrFisher pointed out, sometimes she might just want to decompress after a session.  

Being "on" for clients - just entertaining someone in general - can be exhausting, no matter how cool the guy is. It can use up a TON of energy. I've used this analogy before, but it feels kind of like hosting a great party... awesome time, but you're WIPED OUT once the last person leaves. And too tired to even think about cleaning up. You kind of just want to collapse into the couch w/your rattiest pair of sweats and a bowl of ice cream.

With that said, if both of you want to share an off-the-clock activity that's mutually enjoyable, and you're both on the same page, then cool! But personally, I do have some of the obligations mentioned above... besides, if I did that for every single client (or even just a few) I'd be broke, exhausted, and I'd have no life (aside form spending time with clients for free). Also, my productivity would go down to zero (I struggle even now). It's a fight *now* to keep some semblance of a personal life separate from providing, what with all of the emails, texts, travel, and time spent preparing for/booked on dates. I'd really love a whole evening free of all provider-related things, personally.

I guess this is just another case of YMMV.

The published rate schedule is their answer.

That said, I've had providers say to me 'let's grab dinner, and I don't want anything but your company'   My feeling is that if they plant their flag on their website telling us that per their business model, if they're going to dinner with us then we're paying for that time too, then we need to let them offer to go out as two people otc.  

If it's HER idea to "go grab dinner" it's OTC. If I am the one contacting her asking her for basically a "dinner date" I expect to pay for her time, unless of course it's with a lady that I've already established a good enough friendship with that I would no more have to ask her if it's OTC than if I were going to dinner with a golfing buddy. lol

Now where that rule changes is "after" a paid session where on the spur of the moment "lets grab a bite" comes up. My thoughts are if I put it this way "if you are done "working" for the evening, you are more than welcome to join me" it's OTC. OTOH, If I were to phrase it "I am enjoying your company so much I'd love to continue it with a nice dinner"  That is more of a professional request and the default assumption should be "paid time"

It's funny, I have the opposite problem with some of my hooker buddies. Some of them are quite hot, and VERY doable, but if I were ever to offer to pay them, or ever suggest we have a paid session, that most likely would ruin the friendship. lol