No doubt the request for personal info. has risen dramatically. Most ladies, particularly the new ladies, are simply following what they read or hear. For me, it has shut me out of many dates I was interested in (all post COVID). Nonetheless, it will all adjust. There are simply far too many ladies out there for those with the highest screening requirements to set the standard. A 10+ beauty can make it work but as reality sets in, most other ladies realize or will realize that they can't. When asked, I just move on.
There seems to be a growing trend in the area where I participate in P4P. It seems more
ladies are requiring that the man furnish his real legal name as a requirement for meeting. I have even had situations where P411 ok's don't mean a thing, even when the lady and the man are both P411
members. Safety seems to be the reason for this requirement. I totally agree with their concern about their safety, absolutely. But giving out my real legal name for the opportunity of meeting? Will she give me her real legal name?
I hope this requirement does not become standard operating procedure in the P4P environment, but I am afraid it could.
Many women play in an area in which they were raised, so getting real world info also eliminates the chance of setting up a date with a neighbor, a co-worker in their vanilla job, or worse, a relative. There are still many women who don't ask for that info but I agree the trend is heading that way.
And if she has your real name and the date goes badly, you don't dare write a review.
when I first started reviewing indies on another site 10+ years ago. I reviewed a couple of bad dates and had all kinds of blowback, from the ladies in question, other ladies, and their regular customers. That's why I don't review the indies I see anymore. Its not worth it.
in America, I would say at some point it will be legalized or at least decriminalized. Maybe decriminalized first and then legalized. Who knows.. Isn't NYC already is declining to prosecute prostitution arrests.. I guess this is where it starts.. .Just look at the pot industry. In last 10 yrs we have come a long way..
I hope to live long enough to see a day that getting a hooker is as easy and as painless as getting a fuckin' lap dance at a strip club . When that happens using your real name or not is a moot point.
-- Modified on 6/4/2021 5:18:04 PM
NYC is comprised of 5 counties and each one has its own District Attorney's office which may be doing things differently. One or two are saying they won't prosecute the ladies but they would still charge clients.
Of course, when a new DA get's into office that could change. These are not laws that have been amended/eliminated - it's just the policy of that particular DA.
Most of them post on Twitter about requiring deposits. I've never done a deposit, maybe it's for newbies only.
One girl who post frequently about deposits recently posted that she has "had no income for the past month". Hmmm.
Twitter Escort:
"I’m taking fewer bookings as I’m prioritising other endeavours. I’d advise early and in advance booking to avoid disappointment."
translation:
I need to get a real job because p4p does not pay like it used to. A handfull of girls make a fortune on OnlyFans, the rest don't get much return for their efforts.
because many NCNS, meanwhile going to a hotel, sitting waiting and loosing that money.... would u meet with someone with some random user name, putting your life at risk and or paying for a hotel if the guy has no intentions to show up?
I have yet to be asked for real world info and have always been good to go with P411, fortunately. I would have to think long and hard about giving real info.
P. Griffin - long & hard, ha!
Quagmire - giggity!
But what about our safety? I indulged an agency once with my real info, but never again. If it were me, I would move on as quickly as I would from an unreviewed provider demanding deposits.
If submitting a P411 can't get me a date, then it's a date that I don't need. I won't hesitate to move on to the next. It's amazing some these women want real names and numbers but hide behind their stage/provider names. There is no reason for this, especially if you have a handful of recent "Okays" that vouch for your credibility. No vagina is that good to risk being outed, and lose everything. This is a hobby.
Violence is up and I'm not expecting that to get better in the near future. There are many frustrated people these days. Offenders are mostly men. Sex workers are targets. Nothing new there.
The one-sidedness might be justified.
Of the 5 women I reached out in the NYC area in the last 2 months, 3 told me that they would not compromise on ID and LinkedIn page even if I was willing to provide references of other women. No need to belabor the point but I met with two of the 5. It is a no-win situation (her safety/her rules) and you just have to move on (as painful as that may be sometimes). I have my boundaries and she has hers.
Two different high dollar ladies visiting the northeast from southern california. Both had an assistant that told me that P411 (I have many, many OKs there going back years) was only for secondary screening and that I would need to provide personal info. It could be that it was the same assistant for both ladies, since what they wanted (ID, linkedin, work email, etc...) were very similar in both cases. One was even herself a member of P411, which I find especially troubling since being asked for personal information seems to defeat P411's role as a screening service. In any event, I told them I couldn't give out personal info on the Internet to people I haven't met and since they wouldn't budge I had to move on.
I understand the need for screening and am happy to provide references or my P411 info, but beyond that I think it's unreasonable and I won't go there. There needs to be balance between provider screening and client privacy and since it's my money I feel completely justified in insisting on the latter.
yeah i agree with you .. move on if p411 and TER white is not sufficient ........ of course if they want to give you the girl's real name and address in return ............
p411 is only useful as to have one place to hold your references, but references are not the main source of screening.
In mine I have found HUNDREDS of providers who apparently disagree with you.
Less than 1% of the indies I have booked through P411 have asked me for any additional screening information. This is out of somewhere over 300 providers that I have booked through P 411 over a period of several years.
I am not going to "out" any providers here, but this reminds me of the post made by "Once" a day or two ago where he opined that many clients, and providers too, don't accurately state how they REALLY go about the screening process. I have seen more than a couple of providers who insist that P 411 verification is NOT enough for them, but who never asked me for any extra info when I booked sessions with them. Fortunately I never noticed their STRICT screening requirements before booking with them or I almost certainly would have skipped right by them as I have my own STRICT policy where it comes to screening. I am sure you have heard it many times before, but it bears repeating
"I will beg for pussy, I will pay for pussy, but I will NOT beg to pay for pussy" lol
Are you leaving open the option to pay to be beg for pussy? Just want to be clear on the policy - lol
You are free to believe and run your business any way you feel is best.
There will be some who are OK with providing personal data. There will be, I suspect, many who are not.
All the very best to you.
..are okay with missing out on small number of bookings due to potential clients not willing to screen to their comfort or pay a deposit. That's a lesson we thankfully learn: we will not (and should not) be every client's cup of tea.
But the one's that get it -- the clients that ARE the right fit -- it's oh, so the sweetest thing! And that there, the higher quality of the encounter due to chemistry and mutal respect, is what makes up for every thing else. The one's that want to see you, will make it happen. And in turn, we as companions put in the extra mile to make OUR experience together unforgettable.
Theres no judgement. Play within your own comfort. Different strokes, people. Get in where you fit in.
❤
will not give out a lot of personal information to get screened. From my years on the TER discussion boards, I would say its a clear majority. Its just that you're not hearing from that many because word spreads quickly about which providers have overly intrusive screening, and as a result, the rest of us don't even bother to contact you. So while it may seen like a small number, you're only hearing from the ones who are still trying to book you. The rest have given up because they know what policy is.
That will or at least take the number up to an "overwhelming majority" and make the number of guys willing to even start the booking process a very "small number" indeed. Or at least the guys with any sense.
I suppose thats the joy of casting a wide net - TER happens to only be one of those links. Ultimately, transparency really is the winner. It serves no purpose for someone to find out only after contacting a provider that they require screening and deposits that may go beyond their comfort level -- I can imagine how frustrating that could be for the client. Its also a real time saver for the provider to be upfront and allows them to focus their attention on the right matches. Everyone has a lane to play in.
Unlike some guys here, I don't "resent" providers that demand their clients jump through a lot of hoops. I am completely on board with "your body, your rules" or more accurately I suppose "your business, your rules"
That is of course as long as you don't waste a lot (or any) of my time before telling me so I can simply move on to the next girl.
I will confess to giving a LOT of push back where it comes to intrusive screening and even more so where it comes to mandatory deposits, and the reason is that the more spineless jellyfish that are so pliable that they will jump through every hoop a provider makes him jump through and thank her for doing so, the more demanding other providers will be if they get it in their head that this is the "new normal" Personally even if every hooker on the planet starts demanding this kind of thing before agreeing to take my money I will simply stop seeing hookers I can get plenty of action either through the sugar bowl or even the old fashioned way of charming my way into a ladies pants rather than paying her, "if I have to of course" Paying is SO much easier. lol
But yes, I agree we all have our lane, I do disagree however when providers start claiming that their lane is a lot wider than it actually is and that only a "small" percentage of guys won't concede to your demands. From my vantage point there are a LOT more guys NOT willing to send deposits or jump through endless hoops in order to book a session than there are guys willing to do so.
that tried to increase their screening requirement and/or add a deposit requirement eventually worked their way down to having a relatively low volume business, but not by design, its just the way it worked out. However, if you think its a win for you, that's all that matters.
I should add that my experience is that with P411 and plenty of good references, it's very seldom that a provider insists I turn over personal info. I would say less than 1% of the time after many years of doing this. I do sometimes skip over someone if their ad looks too insistent on getting this type of info, but I also find that many providers will relax this requirement after checking my references and getting a reasonable explanation of why I can't give that out. Since I don't run into the "send me a copy of your DL or go away" type message very often, I was a bit surprised to get it twice in a week. Frankly, I put it down to a single unreasonable assistant. It's OK though, since now I have $2500 that I wouldn't have otherwise had, which I can now spend on several of the other lovely ladies that I've been hoping to meet.
I tend to think it's not so much about safety as it is getting leverage over clients to keep them from giving bad reviews and ruining their business.
I'm sure there are other reasons but how many of you would give a bad review to a lady knowing that she knows your full identity?
The OP and I have gone back and forth on this once before on our regional board but I think we both handled it like adults and were respectful. I digress. However, I will drop a few notes and y'all can glean from them what you will.
• Your client accounts may be well out of date. Understandably, the pandemic put a damper on an individual's ability to meet providers; however, if your most recent "okay" is from mid-2019 or early 2020, be prepared to give some to get some. In addition, due to so many providers being hit hard by the pandemic, many of those later "okays" are from provider accounts that are now inactive which really means your most recent okay might be from 2018 or later. With the inability to have someone vouch for your character, one must find other means
• P411 has been infiltrated in the past by LE; a recent example from about a year maybe two years ago, is LE was using two client accounts in NOLA. Typically, LE will not go to certain lengths because they are aiming for the low hanging fruit so by asking for more info, a provider could be avoiding a situation they don't want to be in.
• COVID brought out the worst of the worst because people figured providers were easy targets for harassment, assault, etc. By asking for real world information, some of us have been able to avoid people with records that are not the most desirable to see. For example, I avoided a potential client who had been charged and found guilty of domestic assault... twice.
Finally, the kicker when it comes to P411:
P411 ENCOURAGES providers to ask for more information of their clients. No where on P411's website or communications to us providers does P411 draw a line stating that they are the "end all, be all". Whenever we receive an appointment request via P411, even if you are "employment verified", they encourage us to do more screening.
Suffice to say, as I told the OP on our regional board, the likelihood of a provider outing a client is slim to none. The majority of us want to keep our head down and provide a great time while we make a living and/or pursue our goals outside of the industry whether they be business or school related. If you do your due diligence on a provider (re: research them, look for a website, a solid and long social media presence, maybe an exclusive content site, and even reviews), then you should have a good handle on those you can trust with your information and those you cannot.
Sorry Paige, while I will allow that the chances of a provider outing a client are slim, they are hardly "none"
I have been outed, or let me say "Re-outed" multiple times by "Well reviewed TER providers" or should I say more accurately "Vindictive cunts" Not for anything I ever did to them in person, but simply because they didn't like what I had to say about them on this very board.
All providers are trustworthy, until they are not. It's easy for you to tell a guy to gamble with the very real possibility of having his life totally ruined, but try telling the MANY guys right here on TER who really did have their lives ruined by vindictive hookers that they had nothing to worry about, They probably didn't like the jobs they were fired from, the children who no longer speak to them or the ex wives that divorced them, cleaning them out financially in the process.
Yes, VERY easy for you to say.
A couple of thoughts: First, I had a P411 provider tell me that she would not even consider P411
ok's at all. It was real info or not happening. Good grief, the whole purpose of P411 is to avoid the real world. Second, if I need to give the lady my real world info, then she should give me her real world info. My real world info is mine, not hers. Finally, if this is about using real world info, then neither side needs fake handles, fake stage names, etc. Just come on these forums and use your real name.
Use your real name in ads, etc.
At this point, I have to believe that you're purposefully being facetious for the hell of it.
We know the reasons why sex workers use stage names. Sex workers of ALL kinds use pseudonyms because this work whether you're a domme, stripper, cam model, or escort, we have to protect ourselves to an *almost* parallel, albeit different standard than clients.
A client's desire to use a fake name is most likely rooted in the fear of being outed. It is a valid fear but one that can be mitigated. I also understand that there are providers who go off the wall just like clients can but the overwhelming majority do not want to out you nor jeopardize you because if we did that then we don't get any work.
Providers and sex workers use fake names because this work is so stigmatized that we have to separate it from our "govt identity" because we face a higher chance of being discriminated against due to this work and I know that you all know this. We already face a higher chance of violence in this work and an outed provider will likely see an increase of the chance of violence if they were outed like being stalked, harassed, assaulted, murdered, etc *in addition* to potential consequences a client could face if outed. We also live in the digital age and when a provider is outed, their government identity is attached to their work identity and that can be hard to scrub which perpetuates the stigma and discrimination. If a client is outed, it is *rarely* done to the extent that it is for us.
Again, I'm not dismissing client fears... because they are valid. All I'm saying is that the scales are not entirely equal and that should be taken into account. However, this topic seems to come up monthly and all I can think is either get on board or find someone else who will screen in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Hell, that may require you to look outside of your geographical area.
TLDR: Alas, reading this whole thread it just begs the rhetorical question, that if you inherently do not trust the people in this realm, then why are you even playing in it?
Again, this is why I used a scalpel with my words and stated it is "slim to none". There is an inherent risk to this work for providers and for clients. If you want to play in the sandbox then both parties are acknowledging and agreeing to the potential outcomes of what could happen to either side.
I wholeheartedly empathize for your particular situation. It's not cool and as someone who has been outed before but by a client, we have agreed to accept the consequences of playing in this little world.
That said, we still cannot overlook the fact that clients are NOT stalked, harassed, assaulted, murdered, and or outed at the same scale that providers are. While clients and providers both face risk, it is clear that providers are taking a larger percentage of it.
if its YOUR life that we were talking about?
Here is the reality, the odds are much greater than ZERO and since we are talking someone's life being totally ruined, is "slim to none" really the odds you want to play with, especially the person claiming the odds are so low won't give up so much as even a tiny piece of her own IRL information?
For the record, outing me was done with the "intention" of doing me harm and ruining my life. Fortunately I have been "out" for decades and pretty much everybody in my personal and professional life already know I fuck hookers. But there is a reason "attempted" murder is still a serious felony, but because you shoot at someone and miss doesn't mean you weren't trying to kill them and these women were seriously trying to ruin my life over some stupid shit said on what is supposed to be an anonymous fuck board AND they were "highly reviewed" as well.
Try to twist this any way you want, my story is well known and well documented, "well reviewed TER providers" sometimes go off the rails and try to destroy peoples lives, why someone would hand them both the gun and the bullets if they have even the least bit of vulnerability is beyond me.
On certain days it's not a fuck board. It become a "Get Fucked,and not the good way, Board" and not the good way. You didn't post the wrong things, just the wrong day. LOL
Or was this where I was supposed to say "Go fuck yourself." in the standard GaG usage?
No doubt the request for personal info. has risen dramatically. Most ladies, particularly the new ladies, are simply following what they read or hear. For me, it has shut me out of many dates I was interested in (all post COVID). Nonetheless, it will all adjust. There are simply far too many ladies out there for those with the highest screening requirements to set the standard. A 10+ beauty can make it work but as reality sets in, most other ladies realize or will realize that they can't. When asked, I just move on.