Hey everybody, This probably sounds like a naive question, but I was wondering how to ask a lady for a referral. At the end of a session, I asked a lady if I could mention her as a referral, and she said yes. That was more than a month ago. Now, whenever I want to mention her as a referral, should I contact her each time and ask her permission again in case she's forgotten? Or should I assume that it's OK to give out her name, since she's already said yes? Is it good etiquette to always contact a lady every time you'd like to mention her as referral, in advance of actually mentioning her as a reference? Thanks for any advice you can give. Don't want to offend any lady for bad etiquette.

paxx7

I will always give a referral, if I have seen them within 6 months. I have no problems, helping the guys out,she sounds the same way.

The reason that I don't go past 6 months, is I have a guy that saw me once 2 yrs. ago, and used me as a reference. Now, that is tough for me to remember, he would have to have provided real fireworks for me to remember him! lol

Also, when you see a new lady, ask if she will give you a reference. I would not recommend using the same lady all the time, that's what the new ones are for.

Hope this helps,
Kelly  

-- Modified on 9/14/2007 1:52:13 PM

They've got enough e-mails to pour through every day without one from me asking them if I can use them as a reference. I'm just trying to save them some work, seriously. I try not to use the same provider as a reference too often. It's another good reason to let them know your TER handle - you'll be easier to remember at screening time.

You should always ask before giving her name as a referal.

If for no other reason than it lets her know someone may be calling her and it may help her if she can't quite remember.

It's just common courtesy not to throw her name all over without asking.

Just my opinion...
B

that way you won't have to ask her in the future and she won't need to try and remember you months later. You may to to show/explain to her about white listing, but it's a great way to help other providers feel comfortable that you are who you say you are. Still you should expect to provide other verification means besides a white list reference.

I actually state very clearly on my website that I will not give a referral unless the gent contacts me first. I don't want to be nosey, and I am very happy to provide referrals, but I ask gentlemen to contact me first as a matter of discretion. I won't give out information unless I know the gentleman himself has initiated the contact and that I have his permission to provide a referrence. That way I know I'm not talking to a jealous SO, or a provider who wants to get back at him, or Lori Edwards. It keeps us both safer this way.

Just my two cents

...extend your pinky, in all etiquette situations.  Works for me.

Paxx,

If you received her permission at the end of the session, you should not have to contact her each time.  

When I get a request for a client reference, I also blind copy my client.  I do this as a courtesy and to let them know what was said and that my response was timely.

The exception and one reason to notify her is if you are seeing a provider who is under the radar.  I do not give out referrals unless I can verify that the lady is, indeed, a provider.  Otherwise I take the chance of giving what I am lead to believe is a reference to another party, possible an S/O.

Also keep in mind that many providers only give references for 1 year.  As such, if its been a long while since you saw a particular provider, you may want to get a more current reference.