TER General Board

Entitlement
brstlvr 108 reads
posted

Unfortunately, there are quite a few reviewers on here who feel that they are entitled to special treatment simply because they are TER members. Whether it's discounts, extra time, or activities the provider doesn't normally offer, some reviewers have managed to give the community a bad rep by using their supposed clout here. Back in the day, when TER was a major venue for providers to get business, this was tolerated much more frequently. Now, providers don't need reviews here in order to get or find business. Many of the ladies who refuse to see TER members generate plenty of clients from social media, and verification sites, and no longer feel the need to deal with TER.

To the ladies and gentlemen, why is it that some providers hate TER? The same providers who hate TER wants references but don’t want anything to do with TER and if you tell them you have a TER account they don’t want anything to do with you,  it’s really mind boggling to me!

Lots of other providers will say it too: that if someone is honest, professional, and provides a good experience then she shouldn't mind being reviewed.  

 
I'm not going to debate that because unfortunately there ARE lots of shady ladies who despise all reviews because they want to continue hustling people.  

 
However, there are also some who worry that reviews can be used as legal evidence against them.  Or they're afraid these can be used to out them, or they're just shy or paranoid or whatever.  

 
But there also lots of providers who honestly feel reviews are simply too vulgar, objectifying, and contribute to an overall misogynistic attitude in clients.   That's what many mean by "review culture" and terms like "slobbyist".        
Again, most folk here will tell you that those saying these things are the sorts of providers who are trying to get away with bad behavior but that's a very broad generalization.  

 
There are multiple reasons why someone could hate TER but I believe most fall into my last category.  
 Many newer providers (who started while TER was unavailable in the US) ONLY heard this viewpoint at their start because there's a LOT of anti-review stuff out there on social media and they didn't need it to get going in this business so..... yeah.    

 
I've had many issues with this site over the years: the constant fake reviews, the numerical scoring system, reviewers who give TMI information (exact location, identifying features, etc) and more but personally?   The good has outweighed the bad so I'm still here.  :-)

As Debra noted above, there is a segment of providers who believe this site supports the objectification of women and tolerates, if not encourages, misogynistic behavior. They wouldn’t be interested in seeing someone who was a TER participant.

Your best bet, when reaching out to a provider, is to first check if she’s reviewed here. If she’s not, best not to mention that you’re a TER member. Once you meet, you can ask if she wants a review, and then she’ll let you know whether she’s cool with them or not.

don't see the irony in bashing TER over "objectification" and then marketing themselves as sex workers.  The objectification, i.e., visual presentation in their advertising is what gets the men through the door to see them.  The social aspect does not start until they are there where the provider can BEGIN to show how witty, intelligent and adventurous they are, so that the men repeat.  Its idiotic to complain about be objectified when that's what they are doing to themselves to get business in the first place.  Get rid of the professional photoshoots with lingerie, perfect hair and makeup in favor of an early morning selfie in sweat pants and see much business they get comparatively speaking.  The TER haters haven't learned that you don't shit where you eat.

The TER haters mainly don't like the review culture where their performance is picked apart like they're a performing seal and ranked numerically. But the problem is that, while the TER system is imperfect, it does provide a useful service. The flip side is that, especially from their POV, it makes them feel like a piece of meat. A lot of them also don't like the Board culture and feel like they get bullied when the try to post.
Of course, some of them deserve it but it's also true there are a lot of misogynists around, too. As I've said many times, the subject of sex brings more neuroses with it than almost any other. So naturally a lot of fucked-up people will gravitate to a place like this and spew their bullshit. It's really unavoidable. And it's not for everyone.
When TER was at its peak many of them had no choice but to put up with it. Once this place made the (I think) HUGE unforced error of shutting down US operations for so long it forced lots of women to find new ways of doing business, which worked out fine for them. Now they have no need to come back. So I don't expect things will ever go back to what they used to be.

brstlvr109 reads

Unfortunately, there are quite a few reviewers on here who feel that they are entitled to special treatment simply because they are TER members. Whether it's discounts, extra time, or activities the provider doesn't normally offer, some reviewers have managed to give the community a bad rep by using their supposed clout here. Back in the day, when TER was a major venue for providers to get business, this was tolerated much more frequently. Now, providers don't need reviews here in order to get or find business. Many of the ladies who refuse to see TER members generate plenty of clients from social media, and verification sites, and no longer feel the need to deal with TER.

Wow, that’s the first I’ve heard of this, but it shouldn’t surprise me.  I would never have thought that I could get special treatment if I name dropped TER and told a provider “I’m JawKnee36! You don’t know who I am?!?  I would have you know that I’m quite the big deal.  Now sit on this and spin, but leave the condom off.”

brstlvr109 reads

That is EXACTLY what some members think and try.

let's use TER for fun and posting meaningless messages and pics.

Thanks to everyone who gave their input...I have learned available lesson never tell a provider I am a TER member, one more thing some providers don’t like TER because they feel like some of the reviews are lies and don’t tell the real experience a client had with a provider but at least providers can look at  reviews unlike the blacklist. How do us guys know if a provider blacklist us just because we left a review that they didn’t like I know this happens!

brstlvr104 reads

You can get blacklisted for wearing cologne she doesn’t like. Really, it doesn’t matter why anyone blacklist’s someone. There is no adjudication, just as there is not a single “blacklist”.
Just be a decent person, try not to be too creepy and follow her rules. No point overthinking it. You do not have to see any provider, but if you do, and she doesn’t want reviews, don’t write a review.

Some ladies take the reviews personally and can be depressed for days at reading any non-perfect interaction.
There's also Stigma that has been engrained into women around their sexuality.
Some cannot bear to have their downright slutty work rubbed into their face after the fact cuz
they think it should be a private interaction and not for everyone to see.

Ya know, Nasty Cock Sucking Slut in the bedroom and Pure Upstanding Wholesome Lady for the world to view and judge.

I think a lot of ladies don't like the pressure of performing for a TER hobbyist because she knows her abilities could possibly be splayed out for the world and her Brand may not live up to what was written.
Kinda throws a wrench into the works and she's out of control when that shit hits the fan.

So, yeah, you guys can certainly fuck up a ladies gig IF you write the wrong thing.
And, yes, I see the Value in Reviews.

Glad to see you posting and hope your health is improving (I don't know much about it except what you've recently mentioned on your twitter.)
.
I do think some sex workers think some reviews are too harsh. But as a consumer of reviews, I don't go by one or two bad reviews out of dozens.  So I am not so sure one bad review dooms a sex worker as I assume most men are as reasonable about it as I am.  I do consider trends in reviews, of course.  But I primarily look at reviews to see what sort of services are offered.
.
In reality the reviews from gents indemnifies the sex worker from being the author of a solicitation.   Her services are spelled out but cannot be claimed to have been authored by her.  It is a form of deniability.  She gets the benefit of explicit service advertisement without inheriting any liability.
.
I mean theoretically, every review, lacking further proof, is a work of fiction as far as the law is concerned.

WICardinalfan92 reads

The cold hard fact is that escorting is a service industry.  It's a business in which there are customers and providers.  If one takes this view, than escorts should be reviewed just as a hotel is on Yelp, or any internet travel site.  All of these types of reviews are subjective opinions.  So that is that.  Or is it?

Sex is the most intimate of experiences between human beings.  All the flaws and physical imperfections are on display.  Performing an act which is rooted in our very core of existence, and animal act driven  nature.  Primitive in nature, and exploration of raw pleasure through stimulation of the most sensitive parts of a human's body.  Grunting, screaming, contorted faces, fluids flowing.....damn it's really intimate.

Put in this context I do not know how the ladies can not take bad comments personally, unless experience has provided them a mental shield.  In my prime, as video was taking off, I never wanted to produce a sex tape.  The thought of seeing me behaving like an animal was not a vision I wanted to see.  I could never mentally survive a review or numerical ranking of my performance.  

So how does one balance sharing a truthful experience in the TER environment?     Simple, be positive and be a gentleman.  TER contains several examples of gentlemanly phrases such as, " IMHO", or "it was me and my expectations, "she is great but we did not make that connection".  Take a measure of responsibility, it was you who picked her in the first place.  

I am going to catch shit for this, but I try never to post a negative review, unless there is a scam in place or deceptive representation.  
If performance may not meet my standards, but might meet others, who am I to judge.  Hell my hearing, eye site, and dick are so old it can take a freight train sometimes to get things going. So that is on me.  

I value reviews, but do not take them as gospel.   I hate the numerical rankings, they are cold and subjective.  What I consider a 10 is more important to me, and my perception of my experience than what TER thinks.  

Anyway....this is a very complex topic and I frankly do not have an answer.

I never found sex to be intimate.  It's just a hard coded evolutionary desire that is fun.  

Register Now!