The other day at Whole Foods when I was paying for the groceries  the guy who was collecting carts made some remark ( in the nice way) that he had not seen cash in the long time .

...pays with cash.  Definitely the last guy who pays with exact change.

The pens are easy to fool. The best way is to check the stripe under UV and check the watermark.

I a us citizen and do some things. I would keep it in s bank box eighter lease not all keep diversified. If long term put it in growth stock mutual funds, would best account Base or gold, gold cost to much to get in the rip off rate high. You should watch Dave Ramsey.

Accurate but incomplete.  
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There are 1099 reporting requirements for any financial institution, money transmitter or similar business in the US that require reporting $10k plus transactions to the Fed. Generally the consumer is not required to fill out a form, as long as the source of the funds can be easily determined to come from normal course of business (i.e.: Retail sales, cashing a check from an escrow company, transfers from another account). But that's not all. If the bank has any reasonable suspicion about the funds, they must file an SAR (Suspicious Activity Report) with OFAC. They do not need proof of anything, just suspicion. The are specifically prohibited from telling the customer about the filing. And they may be required to freeze and hold the funds, again, without explanation to the customer.  Finally, even deposits or transfers under $10k may be reported if there is a suspicious pattern (called layering) of say, multiple transactions of $990 over a period of time.  
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There are strategies for getting around the likelihood of an SAR or 1099 reporting process, but I'm not going to discuss them here as they are generally used in furtherance of a crime.  (Fuck! Been watching way too much of the impeachment trail on TV...)
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Life is good
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The Cat

Great idea doctor.  Not clear how you buy the mutual funds.  With cash? Enjoy the follow up report filing.

But the older you are, the more inclined you might be to make everyday purchases with cash, and hence, the ‘suspicion’ you think you feel from the counterparty.

Any provider that wants to eventually invest her excess profit should have an RL income stream, preferably from a source that deals in cash. Stripping, bar tending, or selling jewelry at local craft shows come to mind. By having a legal, legit income stream you can have bank accounts and credit cards and get an apartment lease. Commingle a portion of your Provider income (yes you'll pay taxes) and suddenly you're just a frugal woman who is able to amass a little nest egg for investing in her future. Naturally, you'll keep some off the books and hidden in your mattress because we all would if we could. Unless you're careless or your last name is Bin Laden it likely won't raise red flags. There's also nothing illegal about being lucky at the racetrack or craps table either. Again, paying taxes on the winnings is the cost of doing that laundry.  

Yup, they'll wip out their check book and start filling it out......I'll just smile and hope that her 10 or so cats don't claw her face off.

Birkin Bags are the way to go. Forget the shoes.

Walk into a brokerage firms with a few K in Cash tell them you want to open account there will take care of you.  Two not a doctor I a I advocate bumping off doctors put you in mental home.

Brokerage firms are not allowed to except cash, you have to clear it through a bank. Make deposits of less than 10k at a time. Those of us that work in the financial sector have to go through  Money laundering training annually  

Whatever you do, do NOT start making a bunch of $9,000 deposits, or do anything else that make it APPEAR that you are trying to skirt the cash reporting rules. THAT will end you in prison a lot faster than simply making a one time $50,000 deposit or whatever amount of money you want back in the "system"  

Some people make stupid posts but yours is a DANGEROUS ONE.

If you have a significant amount of capital to clean, the easiest way is real estate. Buy a house, flip it, pay your contractors with dirty money, sell the house. Wash-Rinse-Repeat, and you'll probably make more than you spend if you're doing it right.

Please answer just one question. How the fuck did you get out of the mental home and back onto TER in the first place. I thought we had gotten rid of you permanently

It’s not a lot, but it’s enough to pay rent, car insurance, internet, lights, phone, and a bit of groceries, gas, & Amazon.

So it's quite OK to spell out the word FUCK. No need for "F-" Admin won't wash your mouth out with soap.
Thanks.

inn the financial industry.  With advice like this, you are a danger to yourself and others.  Do you run with scissors, too?

I had this bag of money and I wasn't about to stash it in the walls lmao

Stash of  10K in 100s is not that big.

Jk but still 10+ g’s is a lot to lose and I would rather have it in the bank protected.

Having a few hundred grand in cash lying around hardly makes one rich.  

John Goodman, who played a character named 'Frank' in the movie "The Gambler" said it the best:

This thread is exactly what I needed. I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. Please don’t stop....any and all responders are welcome.🧑‍🦯🧑‍🦯🧑‍🦯

I bank at a Credit Union and have a business account under another "business" I have (Avon) and have never had issues depositing cash. But I do try to alter the days as well as the amounts that I deposit.  I invest in stocks through TD Ameritrade, I also have mutual funds, an annuity, a traditional IRA and a Roth IRA.  

I do my taxes. I need proof of income to get my family’s health insurance, reduced school lunch program, services for my disabled mom,  if I need to get a car loan, if I decide to move, to get a credit card. Living a cash-only life isn’t practical or smart at all for most of us.