Any advice from either providers or hobbyists for a guy that pops too soon?  Should I have a drink before or try it solo before meeting with the provider?

What is the best way to prolong the experience?

Thanks

Hi Sevenny,

Maybe seek out providers that offer the full time... like say an hour.  If the fun ends too soon, maybe a little backrub and then some more fun!  Or if that isn't possible there are many possibilities like some before hand frolics or start with a backrub.

Just my 2 cents.

XXXOOO Ashley

-- Modified on 7/6/2001 10:48:41 PM

-- Modified on 7/6/2001 10:49:25 PM

When I was in my 20's ...many yrs ago and I was going
out on a hot date I would jack off  4-5 hrs prior.

You don't cum as hard...but you'll go the distance.

They also sell creams at Sav-on and other places
that will prolong cumming.

And finally...the Tantra meathod of squeezing the back
of the cock with the index and thumb does the job.

These days I don't have this problem...can go the distance!

I think there are several things you can do.  I think Ashley's suggestion is best because you can't guarantee my ideas will work, so you definately want someone understanding.  Try using some of the lube that prolongs it (I think it is called desensitizing), they sell it on condoms.net.  I agree that jacking off a few hours in advance may work, but only if you know you will revive again.  Viagra works for some people.  It creates a quick recovery time.  If you don't qualify for Viagra, then get some in Tijuana and consider it recreational.  I suggest experimenting with it first so you don't ruin your night.  Also, on condoms.net you can buy extra strength condoms for added thickness and it should help desensitize it.

It's the most common male problem, but as you can see by the people responding, few men want to talk about it or admit to it.  

I struggled with it for years myself, and nothing worked until learning the techniques of ejaculatory control that I, and others, have referenced recently in other threads regarding learning male multiple orgasms.  These same methods can be applied to PE (premature ejac.) because ejaculatory control  taught to achieve mutiple O's can also be used on the first or the fifth orgasm.  It has the added advantage of knowing that if you're a little out of practice and do have the first O too soon, it doesn't matter because you can keep going.  This is the only long-term solution in my opinion.  

The desensitizing creams or thick condom approach just make it difficult to maintain an erection because of loss of sensation without really slowing down the PE problem.  Squeezing the base of the penis was pointless (too late) if you're already going to cum.  However, learning to squeeze the PC muscle (which lies upstream) can stop the ejaculation that leads to erection loss.  Also, learning to judge your own sexual response by practicing "peaking and plateauing" are some the techniques you can easily learn.  

There are a lot of causes for PE, some psychological, some physical, but it is one of the most successfully treated conditions that sex therapists encounter (close to 100%).  There are also a number of self-help books out that can take you through the process.  Few men really know how much improvement is possible because they are embarassed to seek help.  As a result, they and their partners suffer needlessly and a frustrated or impatient partner only makes the problem worse.  

My personal (unsubstantiated and unofficial) theory is that in evolutionary terms, we're descended from countless generations of males who had a "hair trigger" sexual response.  Since mating for any species is a vulnerable activity, it's not too far-fetched to imagine that the guys who needed a long time to cum as being good targets for sabre-toothed tigers, for example, thereby culling the slow guys out of the gene pool.  It wasn't until recently that it became an advantage in mating terms, for the male to last for a long time.  So there you have it- you're here because your great gazillion grandfather got off fast.  Hope that makes you realize it's a pretty normal condition, but one that can be modified with a little work to meet the expectations of the 21st century female.


-- Modified on 7/8/2001 2:25:29 AM

I just wanted to remindeveryone that this is an issue also because THESE LADIES HAVE SKILZ!   It's their job!  

It's sort of like the golf ads-  "These chick are GOOD"

In civilian life, my sex-wind is great.  I can deal with all the fumbly first sex fine without going off, and then as you get into a groove with a partner, I find that it gets better...

With a provider-  I almost always explode relatively shortly after they get to the deed.   If its good, I am in a sexy mental place, with expert strokes/suction/clit clamping going on.  Uusally after a good massage...  BINGO!  

But I feel that its not so bad, after all-  that's why I chose this route-  to blow up.  Any provider who I click with can still get me to diddle them (I 've been told by some I'm good, others great, still others to leave them the fuck alone) for good efect or can offer me a second round, where I can assure you slim jim and the twins do not often disappoint.   But the one-poppers...  I still usually have a good time....

A long ramble-- but I did want to remind everyone that skill and depravity DO make a difference-a good provider is more skilled than most civilians- and if she's a good actress, too....Shit, there I went again!...

Sevenny,

I feel that you should look for several things when searching for a provider to help with your situation.  

1) the suggestion to get a provider who gives full time is of upmost importance.

2)  find a provider who is good at teasing and prolonging the experience for you.

3)  find a provider who, if you do still p.e., knows how to get you interested again.  

(Actually, I would have to say that the second and third and forth times are more fun than the first.  They last much longer.)

4)  Above all, practice alot.  hehehe

Steami

It's the difference in excitement level between sex with your wife and sex with another.  The modern call of the wild- "Strange stuff over here, come get it."  (I think that's a Felicia quote, btw).

Makes a guy who is regularly under control at home with the wife unit suddenly feel like he's doing it for the first time when in the presence of a totally hot, highly skilled and enthusiastic escort.  Afterall, that's the reason you go out in the first place.

-- Modified on 7/10/2001 1:22:12 AM

-- Modified on 7/10/2001 12:16:10 PM

The time will come, as it has for me, when the problem will change from P E to a problem related to decreased sensitivity in the penis.( I am 60+ yrs. old). Then, that accursed condom will become your worst enemy, and you will discover that a perfectly seviceable erection will, upon covering it with rubber, fail when you need it most, BEFORE the ejaculation occurs. From my vantage point, my fellow hobbyist, you do not have a problem. I say this to you so that you might  be a little more comfortable with your situation, because soon enough, you may remember it with wistful yearnig for what once was.

No, You just havent found the right provider yet. Some of us dont care how many times you pop if your pleasing the us/her too!
Just my 2cents.
XOXOX
Christy  :-}