My preferred method of contact is email, so I only try to meet with and continue to visit women that have an email address posted. My initial contact is very unassuming, something like "... I saw your web site and would like to arrange a possible meeting. I can provide a land phone and references, etc".

What I've noticed is about a third of the providers I try to contact in this way never respond. This seems like a high percentage to me.

What my question is, is do you think there's a problem with what I'm saying, or is there something better to say. And also, how many emails do you usually get and do you try to respond to all the ones that aren't rude or obnoxious.

Please give me some good feedback. My love life hangs in the balance...

I would say that I also run about 1/3 non-responses. I think it is probably unrealistic to hope for better than a 2/3 response rate.

From what I understand, the minority of ladies who advertise their e-mail addresses get a LOT of e-mail. Not wanting to spend their entire life in front of the computer I imagine that they are pretty quick with the delete key.

I do think they are more likely to delete a general "hi, I'd like to get to know you" message than a request for a date at a specific day and time. That at least indicates that you are serious and if the specific day and time doesn't work for them they will often still respond. (Ladies, do you have any comments about this particular advice?)

Good luck, and I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who prefers e-mail and restricts himself to ladies that have e-mail.

-- Modified on 2/15/2002 2:09:14 PM

some of us actually lead very busy lives during which we are rarely out of hearing range of other people.

I try to respond to all email I receive, and yes, some days that can be a daunting task and I may not reply immediately.  In my opinion, it's only common courtesy to at least send some sort of reply to thank the message sender for their interest and follow up.  My only request is that when you do send an email or even leave a voice message, that you extend some courtesy to me and know that I am human (yes, it's true) and can only do so many things in one day.  

As they say, patience is a virtue

Rachel

First of all, San Diego Man,  I see absolutely nothing wrong with your email at all!  Given what is on the net these days, I am happy to receive an email presented as yours.  Possibly you require same or next day response?  Perhaps same ladies who you email give the phone priority or perhaps see more clients than would allow them time on the computer...?  At the end of the day, perhaps they just are too tired to answer emails?  

I have come to prefer email as initial contact for a number of reasons, but it did take some transformation for me. Please bear with the stream of consciousness here....

1) I found that a majority of clients emailed me instead of calling, even when I preferred the phone. I adapted. Now I'm glad I did. I discovered that some emails require faster response time, that's fine, because most emailers understand that we cannot bilocate in order to be on the computer as well as elsewhere.  I have devised templates to save time on usual dialogue, important points, with of course, personalization.  A website also helps cut down on email time - I dont have to send pix, and start from scratch "tell me about yourself", like I did on  phonecalls.  Phonecalling for me works better later, after the prelims are done, and it is time to chit chat.

2) I hate noise, including phones.  They jar me. Also talking on the phone all day is simply exhausting.  Additionally, I would  forget some of the important things I needed to say while joking around on the phone and getting interruptions (other calls), here is where email templates and website come in handy.

3) With email, I can delete easily without being rude, and I can block the sender.  With rude phonecallers, I risk being too upset to talk with the next caller.  I actually ended up having to change my number on a few occasions.

4) Calls generally come when I am driving, getting my nails done, on the stairmaster, in the shower, in bed,  you get the point. You have no idea how many portable and cell phones I have ruined while talking in the shower... It's also hilarious watching me talk on the phone on the stairmaster, hanging sideways on the armrest.

5)Email pretty much discourages same day inquirers, as I am not a same day person.  So it takes out the panic rush, which for me, sets the mood for a no rush no panic session.

6) After a couple of emails, I have had a chance to get to know the person a bit, and know whether a phone call would be a waste of our time. Generally the call comes later in the process, but it is definitely necessary to hear the voice.

7)Email saves a huge amount on my phone bill. I had my pager taken off my TER profile because I got callers from around the world wanting me to chat with them.  It would be on my dime.  If I would ask them to email me, they never would.  So this leads me to believe that there is afterall a market for phoners and a market for emailers.

Hope some of this helps.





-- Modified on 2/16/2002 1:42:40 PM

I think your approach is fine as well.  You have offered the info I now require. I have a phone number posted but never answer it. I have changed my voice message stating that appt requests through my site which arrive via e-mail has priority over phone calls.  So if I don't get back to you in a couple of days submit a contact through my web site.  I did this because I get more phone calls than I have time to return.  I believe returning phones calls is important but just couldn't get back to gents timely given the number.

When someone e-mails me and tells me how great I am, I appreciate it.  However, you must also incude your phone number in the e-mail, approximate times and dates for meeting, and it helps to say something special.  

Often I will get an e-mail that is very vague and sociable and I will respond to it.  Then finally I say, can I have your (&(*&(%^*)% phone number!  Then, that person sends an e-mail that looks like this:

subject:  re: appointment
Body: 323-123-4567

How the hell can I call that number without a name?  People seldom use their real name in the e-mail addy. Is this person someone I want to call back, or someone I thought was rude in the previous e-mail?  Which guy was that?  Was that the one in Newport Beach, or the one in San Diego who is working out in my area for the week?  Am I going to respond to this person?  NO WAY!  Too much time and effort, the fresh phone calls keep coming in.

If you use e-mail, you must give as much information in them upfront as you would during a phone call.  Otherwise the delete button is just a click away.

e-mail is great, but often there is not enough detail.

I think your initial email is fine, but there are a few points to consider...

1) Does the provider in question have a contact form on her site? If so, you might get a better response by filling out the form.  I personally will accept either my form, or an email, as long as the necessary info is there. If the info weren't there, my reply would be something like... "I'd love to see you, but I'll need your screening info as explained on my website, and the date and time you are interested in seeing me."  That's sort of a wasted step, so...

2) Make sure the provider is a reputable lady that you trust BEFORE you contact her... and then include all the relevant information she asks for on her website, if it is explained there. She's going to be much more likely to write you back if she feels you are a serious inquiry, as opposed to the gazillions of BS emails we get.

3) Understand that just like you, sometimes we get busy. Sometimes we forget to answer emails... sometimes your email might get lost in an influx of a whole bunch of mail. I run many domains as a webmaster so I average between 300-350 emails per day... some get lost and that's a fact and is not a personal thing. If you don't hear back within a few days, write again.

4) ALWAYS... select the text of the email message before you hit reply. This allows your convo to be threaded so that she doesn't get a reply like... "Great, I'll see you then!" With no other info and sit there confused about what you are talking about. Understand that with the number of emails we get it is impossible to keep straight 50 different email convos at once unless you perform that simple step.

I will add that my personal reasons for not answering emails are...
1) It was graphic or explicit... DELETE... or rude, same thing.
2) I'm away from my computer and haven't had a chance to get to it.
3) Sometimes if I have a lot going on and I'm really stressed, I fall behind on email... this one is just a personal error on my part. The thing is that if YOU behave correctly, I *will* eventually get back to you... it just might take me a few days... so patience can be a virtue. If you start to pressure me by writing me every five minutes going "WHY haven't you emailed me!" I get annoyed.

One more tip... If after an email exchange you get her number and give her a call, please don't say "Hi, it's Bob!" Bob WHO? Bob WHAT??? WTF??? Not every name is as generic as Bob, but believe me when I say a first name alone doesn't always tell us much... "Hi, it's Bob who wrote you about seeing you on Saturday night... I mentioned my love of red lingerie!"  There ya go

Boy I do babble on don't I? I personally prefer the method of email for first contact and screening as well as these other ladies, but do understand and keep in mind, it's EMAIL. Sometimes computer goofs are rude. Sometimes life gets in the way... just be patient, write again politely, and see if you don't get a response. If you don't, the answer is simply... move on! No worries
Hugs*
Nicole

Nicole, Thanks, I have to admit i've been guilty of some of the things you mentioned,(incomplete responses)... This is a great help to me... But I still wish you were closer to me so I could see ya, I find you very sensual... Again, Thanks a bunch...

I'm always surprised at the number of emails I have turn down because he set off red flags or bad etiquette. I usually reply to these emails with my "Red Flag" response (posted below).

Almost all of the top girls clearly post their requirements when it comes to how to contact them and the proper etiquette, yet so few guys actually read and/or follow it.

When I turn someone away here is my response:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
FAQ

Q: I emailed and you suggested I seek a companion elsewhere, why is this?

A: You probably set off "RED FLAGS".

1.  You asked about money, sex, or sex acts. Companions do not sell sex, talk about sex/sex acts or discuss money. The rates you find on my website are for PERSONAL COMPANIONSHIP and MODELING and are in no way a solicitation of prostutution. The rate you pay is not for sex or sexual acts and such acts should never be discussed. What happens between two consenting adults in the privacy of their chambers is their business.  


2.  You may not have provided the SCREENING information I requested (or the information was unverifiable or incomplete). My verification process is the same as other reputable companions. I will ask for your REAL FIRST NAME, LAST NAME AND WORK NUMBER. Please take the time to provide that now. If you cannot provide this information (for whatever reason) I will ask you say how sorry I am in advance not to be able to set an appointment with you. The screening and verification process is for my safety and comfort as well as yours. You already know a lot about me through this website, yet I know nothing about you.  Please provide this information willingly.

------------------------------------------
Talisa in Los Angeles has a great ettiquette section on her website(here are some exerpts) www.losangeles-massage.com

Escort / Massage Etiquette

In order to enjoy the services of an escort, you need to learn how to discuss their services correctly. In order to discuss anything intelligently, you need knowledge.

Talking about sex or even using euphemisms or street lingo when money is involved is cause enough to be arrested for a sex offense so do not talk about sex.

Escorts don't sell sex.
Escorts don't talk about sex.
Leave the money on the table in plain view.
Don't talk about sex.
Have ID available if your escort should request to see it.


ESCORTS DO NOT SELL SEX

As a matter of fact, you can pretty much insure a really bad experience with any escort if you ask her how much it would cost to have sex with you. She will assume you are a cop trying to set her up and she will split. Leave your money on the table. All escorts will tell you what they expect in pay, before they get there. SO DON'T MAKE THE ESCORT ASK YOU FOR MONEY!!! AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE'S DON'T TALK ABOUT SEX!!!

Have your ID on the table for the escort to examine if she/he chooses. If you don't trust your escort enough to see your ID, then you need to look else where for companionship.

Escorts will be so much more comfortable with you and you will have a better experience if you follow this advice. Enjoy your date. Be courteous, and it never hurts to call your escort or the agency after your date, and say really nice things about how much you enjoyed your time together.

Privacy VS. Verification

You need to have anonymous email accounts for the internet, you need to use aliases for chat with that great looking transvestite you have a crush on, but you need to allow escorts to verify who you are.

If an escort can not determine that you are not a form of oppressive puritan society, then they either can not see you, or they take a chance on meeting an undesirable client, or a member of some kind of harrassing government agency.

my 02. cents