Guys like to brag about their dick.  I'm proud of mine for sure but I am as prone to exaggerate as all dudes are.  One of the oldest I can recall and still one of my favorites is:

No bragging here.  I'm hung like a field mouse.
Thank God I can lick my own eyebrows.

She doesn't care, as long as you are toooo big, which most of us are not.  When we read reviews, we don't care about your alleged size, we are interested in how she performed.....  When are you guys gonna get over your size??   She don't care.....

We both had the urge to piss, and since traffic was very light and there were no other pedestrians around we decided to just hang our dicks over the rail and piss. My buddy said, "Wow that water's cold!" I said, "Sure is, and Deep too!"

ne had to get 6 inch blocks to raise the toilet seat, other wise his pud got wet.

My motto is:

Good things come in small packages.

I think I get invited to more interesting and snug quarter more often than my more well endowed brethren.

I didn't realize that this is all very serious bizniss.   If you've never jokingly bragged about your dick to the guys in the band, billet or locker room, then I mourn the loss of your sense of humor.   Oh well.  Thanks to the guys that got the point of the thread.   The rest of you guys go find something to laugh about.  Happy Xmas to you all!

Oh wait, I just remembered why I don't. Um er, never mind.