1.  Do  you  have the money?  I mean she's not busting you up?

2.  Do  you like   seeing her?

3. You have  recieved only 1 OTC type  session?  {You paid for a room}

Having hobbied only twice  before meeting with  an incredible woman,  who became  my  1/only, I  understand this very well.  My point;  if YOU are having fun  AND you like to see her keep at  it.  It's your money.   And like a couple of  ladies/gents have  said you might need to  have a conversation too.  Bc if she  has fallen for you, that appears to be  a concern/dealbreaker for you.

All of us hobby differently;  there's NOTHING WRONG with what you've  done. Being to  be able to see a  provider  enough to drop advertising / touring isn't bad.  I am running in a SD/SB relationship.  She  appreciates my  "my patronage" (it IS about the Benjamins) and likes/loves to drop screening/advertising. It eliminates a huge anxiety for her

Ask her;  my guess;  she does enjoy  you; but you're not bf material  because your a hobbyist?, or  you'rethe dude brining enough she doesn't have to work  that much  anymore.

For  a ''less adventurous, looking for a some connection'' type of   dude this is right up my alley  .   If that's not you,  you have some thinking to do.....

I have a lady I see a lot, at least weekly and often more. Shortly after I started seeing her, she quit advertising and was only seeing repeats. She took a regular job then and it became even more difficult to mesh schedules than when she was seeing lots of folks. She told me recently that at this point, she is only seeing me and working her job getting ready to start school. Normally, I would assume she was just wanting to make me feel special but appointments with her have gone from hoping to get one to available with the briefest of notice. Also, the passion has gone from a believable performance to needing to change the sheets over our last several encounters. Now don't jump my shit. I am not falling for this girl and I don't plan to. I love seeing her. I genuinely like her and it is the best sex I have ever had but that is all I am in the market for, period. My concern is, I also don't want her falling for me or thinking this will run on indefinitely and assume she has a steady cash stream she can bank on. Any advice from veterans of this game or providers would be greatly appreciated.

I would expect the ads to go up soon

From your description it now sounds like the "regulars" have moved on...except for you at the moment.  So unless you're ready to up the ante expect the loan requests, and long dates, and can you pay my rent this once to commence.

But until that happens enjoy the ride.  Just keep your wallet closed and see how long the fantasy goes on.

I also assume she doesn't have your real info...right?

-- Modified on 9/8/2012 2:12:57 PM

sounds like she has chosen a different path for her life..just let her follow it..her future is the most important thing to her right now..you may or may not be included in it..i would bet on the latter..

-- Modified on 9/8/2012 7:13:25 PM

Nice that her service went up than down...

First, you can't control how she feels/could feel about you. You can control only the things you do and say. If it gets uncomfortable with her, depending on the level you have reached with her, maybe a little chat might be in the future.

By the looks of it she may have already started to depend on you for that extra cash. That's her deal. You can cease to see her any time you like. It is p4p and you are not her BF or her sugar daddy (I am guessing this has not been discussed and your liaisons are exchange of money for services).

Best of luck with this situation and I hope it turns out well for you both.

She may like you but she's also putting all her eggs in your basket, literally. She's seeing that steady stream of cash flowing from you and she works less and doesn't have to deal with screening so of course she likes seeing you.

If she's falling for you, you won't be paying and then you have... a girlfriend. Lucky you! Or maybe not...

though it sounds like you have a great thing going,  you 2 are developing a co-dependency relationship. This is why, when I find myself getting too attracted to my current atf, I make an effort to find another lady I can mesh with. This has 2 benefits: 1) The first lady recognizes that she isn't my one and only. 2) I ensure that I'm not overly dependent on the first lady's services.

.....the minute she tells don't pay, then you've got a problem. She might even offer BBFS.

Re: I would expect the ads to go up soon

Nothing beyond a first name and phone number but this is a pretty small town. She could figure me out ifso inclined.

That is exactly the assumption I would make if things hadn't gone from hoping she would call back within the next day or two to calling back in the next 20 minutes and whenever/how ever long was fine by her. That is actually what has me concerned.

Re: Nice that her service went up than down...

She inquired about a SD/SB thing a while back but I told her that wasn't what I was looking for but essentially, I suppose that may be just what has developed because there have been a couple instances of her calling me and asking if I wanted her to come over. In hindsight, I guess I should have told her no, I will call you when I am ready but who are we kidding. If I have the cash, hell yeah you can come over!

There was a session quasi free. She wanted to come to my place to hide from an ex. I told her no but I would get her a room. We met, played and I offered to pay but she said the room was enough. I hope that doesn't count towards being in a bad spot. And a BBFS offer would have me gone in a heartbeat!

A couple of false notes ring out here:

1) If your provider still has her 'regular' job, then how can she see you on the 'briefest of notice'?   People with 'regular jobs' can't just leave work because a horny John sends them a text.  

2)  The sex went from a 'believable performance'  (you thought she was faking) to sweaty, saturated sheets (oh yeah!).  But this order of events goes against sexual nature.  If this girl was really into you, then the first few sessions would've been red hot, with saturated sheets.  Then as time goes on, the sex cools off a bit and eventually becomes stale.   That's why married men cheat.  So your sequence of events seems off.  

Most providers tell you what you want to hear. At some point, you probably tipped your hand that you wanted something more from her.  So she's now selling you an illusion & you're buying into it, just like when you buy a ticket to see 'The Dark Knight'.  For 90 minutes, you pretend you're Batman   But when the lights come back on, you'll find that you're not really Batman after all.  But enjoy the show...  --z

Stick with your ATF unless your falling in love or being taken advantage of innapropriately

And, then told you she is only seeing you while she is working her job and getting ready for school. And, now appointments with her have gone from "hoping to get one",  to available with the briefest of notice? And, she no longer bothers to change the sheets before seeing you.

And, based on this, your concern is that you don't want her falling for you, or thinking she has a steady cash stream she can bank on?

Who knows whether she is looking at you as a steady cash flow. But falling for you? Seriously.

I will assume she is a college student (aspiring college student?), and trying to negotiate her options as gracefully as she can. I will also assume you are a grown man, well beyond being a college student, and should already know this answer. How many road signs do you need?

I guess more than signs than I am getting, sorry to disappoint. All I can say in my defense is I married really young and stayed married a really long time before I found myself single and started hobbying so I don't have a great deal of experience in this arena. By way of clarification, the sheets are clean as they are the sheets in the room I get to see a provider. Only ever done one incall. What has changed is that I have never been with a woman who gets wet enough to soak the bed and that didn't start until well into my seeing her. I was just trying not to get overly graphic as it isn't my nature.

It was nice because she was only asking for a very small donation, and the connection was good.  At first it was flattering she wanted to hang out every Fri or Sat night, but after a while it became kind of expected on her part, and when I started to say I was busy, I got a reaction like, "Why would you be busy?"

Well, like most others, I have a personal life.  And sometimes/many times I have plans on weekends.  And sometimes, honestly, I want to see someone else.  While she is very, very nice and not bad in bed, it just became problematic when she expected to see me every single week.

I just had to keep telling her I was busy, and eventually she stopped calling.  I will probably call her at some point to see how she's doing, but I had to just push her off for a while, because the expectations were getting outta control.

What I understood was not that she wasn't changing the sheets before meetings, but rather, the passion became so intense the sheets were needing to be changed after a meeting...like messy gooeyness, eh?
Re-read and correct me if I'm wrong...he's getting the impression she's really into it as opposed to believeably faking it.

I would contact her and end it in a tasteful manner.

I appreciate your input and candor.

1) I know what her regular job is and generally when she is unavailable because of it. I wouldn't call her during those times even if I wanted to. I was referring to off times when it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume she may be busy doing something else but always seems willing and eager to accommodate my requests. I can think of 2 occurrences off hand where when she called me back, there was considerable background noise/voices. I can only assume she was out with friends or something similar and left them to be come see me.

2) That has not been my (albeit limited) experience. Bearing in mind I can still count my total number of partners without taking off my shoes, the first and sometimes second time is generally either a 15 second blunder or a total no show. It takes me a bit to become comfortable enough to perform. Did I think she was faking? Well, I think it is a pretty safe bet that any 20 something lady exchanging cash for services with someone twice her age is faking. I do not, however, continue to believe she is faking but won't dismiss the possibility that she has just learned exactly what buttons to push to get me to completely believe the show.

If you're uncertain about how to respond to a 20 yr old woman? A woman with a few more years, and a bit more experience under her belt might help clarify these kinds of questions for you.

Your description of you is me to a T. No connection equals no deal in my book. And I would have significant concerns if she were to actually fall for me. I don't care to be party to hurting people, even when it isn't my fault. Where is the fun in that but the truth is, I wouldn't date her even if she offered that. I am not looking for a relationship. I would be flattered, for sure but just not for me, at least right now. If that is what I wanted, I wouldn't be here.

To answer your questions, I am far from what I consider rich but the money isn't that big a deal at 4 or 5 hours a week spread out over a couple meetings. I like seeing her very much. I genuinely enjoy her company even aside from sex. In fact, not every meeting has included sex and when it does include sex, it isn't that large of a percentage of our time together. It just kind of depends on the mood at the moment. Yes, only the one OTC session.

It might be pertinent to include that she advertised only briefly, as in like 2 months (I believe but not absolutely certain), before I came along. She wasn't comfortable in this business in terms of meeting the new clients and expressed a desire to get out as soon as she could. When she told me she was doing something else, I told her I would quit calling if she wanted but she planned to keep her regulars and told me to keep calling. The last time I saw her, I asked again if she would rather not come anymore and just be done with the business altogether since I was apparently the last of the Mohicans and she said no, keep calling.

Thanks for you views. I appreciate the input.

It may be that she started providing only to make a certain goal & now that has been reached, she's backing out of providing.  
There is one lady I know who has a day job...  but provides just enough to survive.  The day job just does not pay enough.   Your girl may be in a similar situation.   However much you like each other...  each are 'using' the other.  You must be sure that you don't become her ATM, but otherwise, if it feels good fine!

I went exclusive with a ATF for a couple of years but predictably, the services suffered & I felt I wasn't getting my money's worth.  So I took a break...  she thought I was NOT coming back...  I foound a few other Favorites.  I have now circled back & include the ATF in a rough rotation.  Now if one is unavailable, I have alternatives...  and I continue to look for potential Favorites.
HV

She is using you. Stop spending so much time worrying about her, get a life and a real woman, and leave her in the dust.

My guess would be she had a steady group of regulars and no longer needed to advertise and see new clients. Advertising can be a rather large expense, and while every woman is different, I know my ATF did not like the meeting and screening new client part of the business because of fear.

Over time, some of the regulars stop calling, she has no new business, so your business becomes more and more important to her and she has more time to spend with you. Could there be more there than just money? Sure. What that "more" is could be lots of different things though.

Here's my same old advice I give everyone in these situations. Talk to the other party involved. Nobody on this forum can give you anything but theories, assumptions, and conjecture. If you're having a great time and don't feel used, does it even really matter???

Re: I would expect the ads to go up soon

From my experience, I would say she already has!!! Unless you have a lot of extra ''k"s to hand out, get the hell out!!!

This might be the surest way to avoid a sticky situation.

Tell her what your expectations and wants are.  If she is looking for you to be her man, she'll know she is barking up the wrong tree, and will drop you.

If she just likes you a lot as a client, and keeps a nice little thing going with you (and maybe 2-3 more), then count your lucky stars and enjoy.

I've experienced both sides of this, and it can get unbelieveably sticky when each has a different idea of that the other wants.

why has no one reported Michelle/Marsha is same person and a total rip off, it a saved alot of ppl time and money?

at least she would be on notice that he is not some ga-ga eyed puppy to obey her whims, but rather a rational functioning hobbyist.

The OP has to be prepared to lose her if she is looking for a boy friend situation, but so be it.

FWIW, I had this very type of conversation with a UTR gal whom I had spent some serious long sessions with (Not totally OTC but severely discounted.)  I suspected she was trying to get her tenterhooks into me, and once I had the conversation, she disappeared.  It was a bit sad as I really liked her, but I got over it quickly enough.

Cynicism and, possibly, odds aside, your story is not wholly without the realm of possibility. Perhaps the woman in question has indeed found legal employment and pretty much stopped escorting but for seeing you.

We aren’t there. You are. You are privy to clues we are not. On the other hand, the commenters on this board have the advantage of greater detachment. Honesty demands conceding the possibility that you could be kidding yourself and not know it.

Still, I’m willing to buy your take on the events.

A like situation developed for me, and has endured. When my ATF gave up escorting for a so-called “legit” job, she continued seeing only me (yeah, yeah, I know: as far as I know). Just as you describe, she became available at the drop of a hat and the passion escalated.

As of this writing, it has stayed escalated for three years and counting.

Though there is genuine caring, boundaries remain clear. She has her SO, I have my SO, we have our separate worlds, and we both understand that any attempt at anything deeper would be doomed to fail. We simply enjoy escaping to one another for a couple of hours at a time before returning to reality.

If that’s what you have, good on you.

For all I know I am (and, possibly, you are) self-deluded. Perhaps most readers will nod enthusiastically and say, “Yup, you’re nuts.” Fine. At some point, we must weigh our own evidence, come up with our own conclusions, make our best decisions, and be prepared for time either to vindicate us or not. My best wishes to you. May the situation at hand turn out to be exactly what you think/hope it is. May mine for me, too.

also, with a new career she may be getting as much cash as she can without continuing to build up her business, clearing old debts etc. As long as you aren't calling her during her work schedule hours, she may have not much else on the calendar, hence the easy availability for now.

just go with it and don't worry. keep your eyes open, of course!
-McM