I'm very good at most things that I do but painfully aware of my shortcomings.   One of which is ... apparently ... I have no facility whatsoever for languages.   I started to learn Spanish in the fourth grade and can speak none of it to this day.

Worse, the handy foreign phrase books never seem to have the phrases that *I* need!   Just last weekend I went to Mexico with a friend of mine and felt unsettled and even a bit ashamed that he had to translate for me.   I spent over $18 for Holt's Mexico Travel Guide and with the exeception of 'los banos' (and I KNEW that one), it didn't have ONE phrase for conversational Spanish!

Such as:

Nice Tits!

Ma'am, how much do you charge?

Sir, Do you rent rooms by the hour?

Ma'am, you need to shave that thing.

Sir, may I have a refund on my unused 57 minutes?

I'm sorry, but I seem to have soiled your monkey.





-- Modified on 9/4/2003 9:33:12 AM

You do have the keys to these handcuffs, don't you?

Can the cleaners really get the stain out of the front of my pants?

The burro is extra???

My record player is broken!

Gets 'em every time!

HPG

"Where are the hot chicks?"

(Did I say/spell it right?  No habla espanol here either)

Just leer!  


-SR