I'm very good at most things that I do but painfully aware of my shortcomings.   One of which is ... apparently ... I have no facility whatsoever for languages.   I started to learn Spanish in the fourth grade and can speak none of it to this day.

Worse, the handy foreign phrase books never seem to have the phrases that *I* need!   Just last weekend I went to Mexico with a friend of mine and felt unsettled and even a bit ashamed that he had to translate for me.   I spent over $18 for Holt's Mexico Travel Guide and with the exeception of 'los banos' (and I KNEW that one), it didn't have ONE phrase for conversational Spanish!

Such as:

Nice Tits!

Ma'am, how much do you charge?

Sir, Do you rent rooms by the hour?

Ma'am, you need to shave that thing.

Sir, may I have a refund on my unused 57 minutes?

I'm sorry, but I seem to have soiled your monkey.





-- Modified on 9/4/2003 9:33:12 AM