I could have posted this on my regional board or the Newbie board (since I am one), but decided I wanted a more broad base response:

QUESTION? How many times should you email a provider requesting an appointment and receiving a deafening silence, before giving up and moving on to the next gal on your list?  It's been almost 2 weeks since my initial request.

I'm registered on Roomservice 2000 and dutifully answered all of the questions on her web page.  As far as I know, I didn't do any of the pitfalls y'all warn us Newbies about regarding the etiquette of first contact - sounds like a good title for a Star Trek Episode . Researched 100's of reviews and picked someone who seemed less likely to be a flake from the way others rave about her.  

I find this lady extremely interesting, although that interest is somewhat dimmed by the lack of response, and would love to meet her, but don't want to pester her and be annoying - and it is probably too late for that.   Besides begging for companionship is too much like real life

Secondary question.  Is it considered bad form to write a PM and say something to the effect of " I'm getting that you're not interested.  I'd just really like to know if it was some accidental thing I did, so I
will not make the same mistake next time? Or, are you just really busy?"

Because I would - like to know.  

I know this is a great opportunity for some of the less polite posters on these boards to ream me a new one and let me know exactly how dumb I am, but if  it is something I did, I'd hate to repeat the mistake and miss out on the companionship of another special lady.

- Concerned in the West.

See somebody else.  Try her later.  YCAGWYW (You can't always get what you want).

I have invented a new achronym for the board!!

Harry

Reoes persistence pay off or is it just annoying?

Check her travel schedule if posted on her site--maybe she is away.  Also, providers have a life and even visit their families time to time...

Reoes persistence pay off or is it just annoying?

I'm not a "Provider", but I'd say, annoying. Perhaps you should leave her alone. If she hasn't contacted you after two weeks, she probably won't. The last thing a woman wants is a stalker, (not that you are, just that you may come across that way.)

My feeling is that, "this is what it is". You have a life, they have a life. Never intrude on theirs, and they shouldn't intrude on yours. I never make this more than it is, a temporary thing. "Thank you, had a good time. Have a good life."

Look for someone else, and happy hobbying.

then if you don't hear anything make sure you have the address right then move on.

Shaye

ps. She also might be on vacation or taking a leave or retired.

then if you don't hear anything make sure you have the address right then move on.

Shaye

ps. She also might be on vacation or taking a leave or retired.

Reoes persistence pay off or is it just annoying?

Send an e mail, if no answer, on day 3 resend, still no answer by day 5, drop her from your list or down on your list and move on... Don't take it personally though there are 1000's of reasons she may not have replied and there are 10's of 1000's of ladies to choose.  I have over 60 ladies that are on my current to do list, I'm sure you also have many others. hobby safe hobby well hobby all you can be... her lose .... someone elses gain ...

-- Modified on 11/19/2003 11:05:38 AM

-- Modified on 11/19/2003 11:23:43 AM

As a believer in Cognitive Pshycology I know that there are millions of reason why I haven't heard back and 99.440% have nothing to do with me.

But, as a sensitive person, I'd feel bad if I did something that made her feel uncomfortable or scared her off and would like to avoid making the same mistake again.  I'd like to ask, but absolutely DON'T want to seem like a stalker.  

Sounds like the consensus is - move on

let's see - so many choices - and thanx to TER - all of them good  

And, I suspect, that is also true for many (not all, don't get in an uproar!) ladies in this 'biz. Really to keep up with it all I'd honestly need a good suckretary on hand!  Sometimes I miss an email. It happens like this.

8am, bleary eyed, checking mail. "Hmmm, this is interesting. I'll write him back when I'm more awake."

10:30am... oOoooops, now I'm late for an appt, I'll write that email back later.


9pm.... 50 more emails in the box and that one from this morning is now lost in the queue.

Sometimes it's not personal, just write and ask.

On the other hand I have had a few situations where I've used the evasion tactic. ie: I haven't a clue what to say to this person because I cannot see them and I don't want to hurt their feelings... so I'll just not write back!

That's horrible and I don't usually do that, but I am not perfect and have fallen prey to it once or twice. Once the guy wound up being persistent enough that eventually I did write him back and explain why I couldn't see him again, and wound up being sorry.

So, judgement call... I would say go ahead and email her again.

If it's me, go ahead!!!

Hugs*
Tamara

Reoes persistence pay off or is it just annoying?

There are MANY reasons for no response and they could have NOTHING to do with you. Example: about a year ago I met a PS at a club. She gave me her card with e-mail and phone #.  I followed up with an e-mail about two weeks later...and heard nothing. A week later, I tried the phone; left a message... and heard nothing. The same week, I sent two more e-mails. Again, nothing. The following week I left another phone message. FINALLY, I received a rather curt e-mail which gave me another phone number. I called and made contact.

It turned out that the lady's husband answers all her e-mails and he hates e-mail (go figure!). The phone number on her card was for her home in another state, and she was on the road and her hubby didn't check for home phone until after my 2nd message.

Happy Ending: I've met the lady a number of times over the past year including time as a guest in her home.

BUT...I'd made other contacts and had written her off until 'hubby' called me.
Good Luck