schedule extended time with a lady that I do not already know very intimately, whose company I do not already enjoy and with whom I have no basis for trust. My advice to the ladies would be to follow the same strategy, and then the angst over deposits will go away. I also think that the ladies do not realize how many potential new clients they drive away by being so overtly "business like".
I was reading the post below regarding a deposit. I am offering no comment pro or con on this specific situation, but I am wondering, seriously, how do you, logistically, place a deposit. You don't know the provider's real name, you don't want to take the time, either your's or her's to meet prior to the appointment. I have never asked for time with a provider who required a deposit, but it seems that it would add a layer of complication that would make the whole transaction unmanageable. I understand long term appointments involving several hundred $ and hours of time, but as a routine appointment I just don't logistically see it. Again, I am offering no opinion here, just asking the question.
There are ways to do it anonymously. It is not so much the risk of who is who, it is the trust of cash and dash...you have to be very trusting....thus it comes down to why one would or should trust over the other. Whom has more to gain or lose over the sistuation at hand.
If the guy wants to see her enough then he may extend the trust. If the lady wants the appointment enough then she may extend that trust.
This is the "handle" that I use, not an alias. I'm not asking about trust, if the situation is indicated, I would do the deposit. I'm just wondering how you do it, especially on a same day or short lead time arrangement.
I personally don't take a deposit when i do an overnight because i've never been burned (so far) but when we allot that time frame to you and only you and turn away alot of other appointments and you decide for what ever reason to cancel or to not show or call, which is the worst you can do to us by the way, we loose alot of potential cash, from you as a booked session and from others who we didn't see! I can see her point, but the logistics must be taken care off..this is a cash and carry business for us, and a NO SHOW is the worst of the worst especially an overnite no show! Jay
Some of us are very busy and has to juggle a lot of things to get to the place. When you get there, no answer.
Not saying all providers are like that but there are a few out there. If it is an agency, they typically let you know and give you other options. Independents, another story.
both are unacceptable and neither hobbyist nor provider should do so. Unless you're in the middle of a dire emergency, it's not too hard to make a simple call.
Oh, and I do realize that we hobbyists sometimes loose money on an NCNS - travel time and expenses etc. But in all honesty, these are not detrimental to our making a living.
I understand why some providers want to protect their interests by asking for a deposit. It would not be necessary with me, or with many (I would hope, most) hobbyists, but I do understand it.
However, as I've stated before, I personally schedule overnight / weekend / weekly time periods only with ladies I know well. That way we both know that we will enjoy the experience. And at that point, I've never had a lady, even a lady who generally asks for deposits, ask for one from me.
There are ways to wire funds without needing her info, there are prepaid cards which can be remotely funded with just a number and not a name by simply stopping by almost any drug store or Radio Shack. If you ever find yourself in the position to do such a date, simply ask. I guarantee it's not as complicated or unmanageable as you think.
schedule extended time with a lady that I do not already know very intimately, whose company I do not already enjoy and with whom I have no basis for trust. My advice to the ladies would be to follow the same strategy, and then the angst over deposits will go away. I also think that the ladies do not realize how many potential new clients they drive away by being so overtly "business like".
For me, extended time, even with a first time friend is the best way to go. The additional time with this person gives me the opportunity to build intense intimacy and trust...two elements that lend themselves to great enjoyment of each others company. When I feel rushed to reach those points of essential ingredients between two people having a good time with each other, it feels less satisfying, rewarding, exciting, fun, fulfilling...less EVERYTHING.
I just don't know how one would reach a place of "already knowing [someone] very intimately" with out investing time together. What is better? A bunch of short appointments or a few extended appointments? When can you remember the best sex you had with a person being the first time you had sex with them? Is intimacy best built in short intervals, where just when you get the fire roaring, it's time to go? Or, in longer intervals, where you can take your time building the fire with kindling first and then start throwing log after log on? Which way is more business like anyway?
I am not asserting there is one right answer for everyone. Nor would I give sweeping advice to everyone that one way is better than the other for all.
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