The equation is not equal. You can't actually compare the sex portion of marriage against it's paid counterpart, and then somehow try to compare your financial burder from that marraige to escort costs. As human's we skew things mentally and I do not believe that a fair comparison would ever be made.

I've been happily married, unhappily married, had serious long term relationship, had a more casual dating with sex relationship, been single with no dating by choice, and then single with some professional friends.

Each of these situations are so radically different in their scope that to try to pull the sex component out of each to compare, I believe is ludicrous. I'm it's kinda fun to think and talk about, but it can't be taken seriously.

Then I think of all the guys I know (most of them) who have this attitude that "I don't have to pay for it" or "I'd never pay for it." and then I compare who their spouses are or girlfriends are, along with what the guy may say about his sex life, and I realize: "OK, I see your point, but NO ONE would EVER pay for the sex you get from your gal."

Providers, I believe, are more attractive, more sexual, more open minded about who they will spend their time, and more in tune with the man-ness of men, with compared to the female population in general. Unless I was uber-rich I could not spend intimate time with a non-professional woman who is of the caliber of the ones I have the pleasure of knowing right now.

I think the only way to compare MIGHT be to see what a 1-year exclusive rate might be with your ATF, with an agreement of her doing mundane work-a-day things with you as well. What might that run you? quarter million? that's what, $650 a day? half million? I don't know.

My happy marriage didn't cost ME that, and the sex was so good. And bareback with no worries. And not criminal. And not something I had to keep on the DL.


HH

if you're thinking with your big head, primarily, no! There are plenty of women out there who have realistic expectations of men, but if you are expecting someone on the order of Kim Kardassian, regarding looks and upbringing, then expect her to slap on the saddle and ride you hard, and put you away wet.

Most free sex has cost me enormously less than providers, other than the occasional friend I  was tired of and so were their wives.


  Even if you aren't the wife fucking type, there's  an abundance of  beautiful available women out there who don't insist on going to Citronelle or Cityzen, perfectly  content with a picnic at the  park or Jake's grill.
Many  are independent minded ladies  with good jobs .
 They aren't looking for a guy to lead their life but they do like to fuck .

 
  If she's beautiful you won't get any points for telling her so unless you have spent the night.
        You do get points for patience.

She's heard the same old pretty lines so many times they more often than not, make her angry .

     My bad, I went off subject .

 

 
 

 

 

 

 



 

Do you Think this statement is true?

I have such a great experience with providers, and that is over and above the typical reason a guy might visit one. Let me put it this way:

It's just goddamned refreshing to spend time with a woman who lets you be a man, understands and enjoys it, while she is fully a woman and is enjoying that too.

Is every experience like that? Of course not! That's just the way everything in life is though.

I happen to be able to have fun and a cool time with a gal that is 30 years younger than me. You have to do your hiomework an be selective, but there are gals that young that have their head on straight, along with a spectacular everything else.

That's not gonna happen in civie life.

I can also have a fantastic (actually a better) time with a gal my age. I find very few if any civies my age that are not 'closing up shop' so to speak. Providers that are in my age bracket are not at all that way. It's fantastic.

So I am enjoying myself and gaining even greater appreciation for the female of the the species than I already have.

You know, I don't disagree with your point of view, but I don't take it so negatively. That's a state of mind that one chooses. And you certainly don't have to hang up your ball to think that way either.


HH

When you marry as a teenager you don't realize and cannot know each other and that you both have not yet become who you are going to be.

Sometimes that other person can turnout to be someone with what's called a "personality disorder" by qualified professionals, which doesn't fully show itself for years to come.


HH

If it's free, then it's WAY MORE than I can possibly afford!!!

The endless litany of bullshit head games, obligations, emotional ministering, strict adherence to stupid commercially originated observances & celebrations (IE:Valentines/Mothers day). Fix this!, take out that!, I want a kitty!, do you think ******** is pretty?

FUCK THAT NOISE!.

 I was once told by an amazingly successful TER provider that "The best clients are the ones you needn't think about until they next call"

Same could be said about "Females

How did that 'so good' marriage turn sour?

And when you factor in these two old saws...

"Time is money", and you factor in all the non-sex time we have to put in to get "free sex", and for the married/SO guys out there, the time they have to put in to their "honey do" lists and all the other things that drain your time with an SO, and pay for play is a bargain.

"We don't pay them to sleep with us, we pay them to leave".  No drama with the pros.  Just fun.  If I factored in all the time spent in my civvie relationships, either on a high or on a low, the average of the non-fun times (You don't love me, why don't you listen better, why aren't you a better "_____") vs. the fun times (I love you, you're the best, fuck me now), the average of non-fun time outweighs the average of fun time by a fairly large margin.  

So if time equals money, and non-fun time outweighs fun time in civvy relationships, sex for money is WAY cheaper than sex for free imho.

It seems a lot of guys here have been in some unpleasant relationships, including myself. Marriage, I'm convinced, isn't meant for everyone. A lot of people are better off single, or at least not marrying until much later in life. But if you find someone who really cares for you, then it's worth a lot of the hassles. Also, understand that it goes both ways. A lot of women are sick of their men, but stay on in relationships for various reasons, especially if kids are involved. A happy relationship can just be heavenly, and it's worth pursuing.

@wifefucker

Again...by my logic, you have to factor in "time spent"...you have to find the lady, spend money on your own presentation, wine and dine her (even as little as a picnic in the park takes time, which in my analogy costs money), etc., etc., I still feel that providers averaged out dollar/hour are cheaper than the "freebies"...not to mention the occasional nightmarish ones that go from a supposed great one night stand to Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction crazy.

You even mention yourself, "you do get points for patience" (time again...which equals money).

So, I stand by my original assesment.  

-- Modified on 11/30/2011 12:28:44 PM

Ah yes, I know all about personality disorders (one of my in-laws).  Nuff said.

Sex for considerations are easy peasy - but when you want any kind of 'normal' relationship you will be in debt quicker than a jack rabbit fucking a bunny (!) Women generally want men to buy everything when it comes to 'romance'. However, if you want to just fuck then it will cost you I would think the same amount or less with providers depending on their considerations. I personally stay away from 'civilian sex' for obvious reasons (this is another topic completely..!) but when it comes to sex - it's NEVER free (unless it's a one night stand of course!). As I mentioned, women want to be 'woo'ed', romanced, spoiled and all the rest that you must do - as most women these days want - longevity, the build up of relationship etc in their romance department which requires time and LOTS of energy (ie. lots of dough!) Just my two cents!  
Kisses,
Chloe

I love Tufu and lovinladies69 for being exemplary role models for TER men! They understand the authenticity of this sacred and safe relationship between Hobbyist and Provider, and are respectful and honorable about time boundaries.
The two of you should start a continuing education program on the Hobbyist board and educate the dense and obtuse on how to be chivalrous, generous, and downright appreciative of us girls, as well as the nature of this relationship!