...not exactly (And wow, do I wish that we had LG back and an active "Erotic Highway" board--that would be the better place for this kind of post--anyway

No, I haven't fallen in love with this provider--seriously.  However:  We have a lot in common; many similar interests, many of which have absolutely nothing to do with the hobby.  She's kind of very "out" in her approach to her work: Facebook, Twitter, etc, accounts all in her stage name--it's part of her approach to the business.  After we'd had a playdate or two, I created a "stage name" Twitter account, just so that we could keep up the flirty fun.

Now it's like a tiger by the tail thing:  She has 11 trillion Twitter followers and Facebook friends, I know she has an IRL bf, and yet we are text chatting with each other (no more Twitter for us) at length (sometimes for hours at a time) at least every other day (sometimes daily for long stretches).

Again:  I have not fallen in love with her, and I know she has a bf--but she's become a very real friend to me (in addition to the fact that our actual playdates are the most fun I've ever had with my pants off)--and (I hope I'm not deluding myself) I think I'm a very real friend to her also.

Bantering with her via text (much of which is now mundane non-flirty "how's your day going?" banter) is just a riot.  A real day-brightener for me.

So the question is this:  Is this kind of relationship (I guess call it "provider/hobbyist with benefits"?  Clever, eh?) at all normal?  I've been in the hobby steadily for several years now. I admit, I occasionally just send "Hi, how'ya doing?" emails to my favorite providers--especially if I haven't seen them in awhile, and don't want to end up needing to be re-screened if I know I'm going to want to repeat but that it will be awhile until I'll be in her city next.  But that's just common sense.

This is totally different.  To me, it feels like the same sort of relationship I have with several other friends where we're all kind of busy, and don't have time to chat on the phone at length, so we send some texts back and forth every so often to stay in touch.  But I don't text anybody as often as this--and it's not a one-way street--she's texting right back.  And keep in mind, she's a much sought-after provider/porn star, with tons of friends and zillions of fans--and yet she seems to make an extra effort to stay in touch with me.

Is it really possible that she's playing along just so that I'll stay interested?  Maybe that's part of it, but it can't be the only reason, can it?

I'm not being played here in any real way:  I know she has a bf, I'd be seeing her professionally with or without the text banter.  This is just something extra--which I don't think I've ever quite had--or even thought was possible.

Am I missing something here?  Or should I just consider myself lucky to have something of a real-life friend in addition to having found a dream provider?

Thoughts?

I am having a very similar experience to with my favorite provider. We have gone to lunch and email all the time. i was wondering the same things. I just decided to go with it but realize that we are still a clint/ provider relationship that way i stay grounded and do not get emotionally attached,
hopefully. Good luck to you.

Ok first off it can be a real thing...Yes it can BUT

Posted By: CourageousCat

...not exactly (And wow, do I wish that we had LG back and an active "Erotic Highway" board--that would be the better place for this kind of post--anyway

No, I haven't fallen in love with this provider--seriously.  However:  We have a lot in common; many similar interests, many of which have absolutely nothing to do with the hobby.  She's kind of very "out" in her approach to her work: Facebook, Twitter, etc, accounts all in her stage name--it's part of her approach to the business.  After we'd had a playdate or two, I created a "stage name" Twitter account, just so that we could keep up the flirty fun.

Now it's like a tiger by the tail thing:  She has 11 trillion Twitter followers and Facebook friends, I know she has an IRL bf, and yet we are text chatting with each other (no more Twitter for us) at length (sometimes for hours at a time) at least every other day (sometimes daily for long stretches).

Again:  I have not fallen in love with her, and I know she has a bf--but she's become a very real friend to me (in addition to the fact that our actual playdates are the most fun I've ever had with my pants off)--and (I hope I'm not deluding myself) I think I'm a very real friend to her also.

Bantering with her via text (much of which is now mundane non-flirty "how's your day going?" banter) is just a riot.  A real day-brightener for me.

So the question is this:  Is this kind of relationship (I guess call it "provider/hobbyist with benefits"?  Clever, eh?) at all normal?  I've been in the hobby steadily for several years now. I admit, I occasionally just send "Hi, how'ya doing?" emails to my favorite providers--especially if I haven't seen them in awhile, and don't want to end up needing to be re-screened if I know I'm going to want to repeat but that it will be awhile until I'll be in her city next.  But that's just common sense.

This is totally different.  To me, it feels like the same sort of relationship I have with several other friends where we're all kind of busy, and don't have time to chat on the phone at length, so we send some texts back and forth every so often to stay in touch.  But I don't text anybody as often as this--and it's not a one-way street--she's texting right back.  And keep in mind, she's a much sought-after provider/porn star, with tons of friends and zillions of fans--and yet she seems to make an extra effort to stay in touch with me.

Is it really possible that she's playing along just so that I'll stay interested?  Maybe that's part of it, but it can't be the only reason, can it?

I'm not being played here in any real way:  I know she has a bf, I'd be seeing her professionally with or without the text banter.  This is just something extra--which I don't think I've ever quite had--or even thought was possible.

Am I missing something here?  Or should I just consider myself lucky to have something of a real-life friend in addition to having found a dream provider?

Thoughts?

I respond to the "PM's", Texts and E-Mails if I have time but do not initiate unless I am looking for a date. Some are better than others at making you feel, the way you feel but I think it is a game.

are way too much obsessed with giving every relationship a label.  

So it's impossible to say if you're heading for trouble.  Yes, it does happen a lot.  But I also know of several providers who are married to former clients.  I also have friendships with a few providers, although they have their limits.  I don't get into regular exchanges with them, but we'll email each other with info we think the other should have.
Over the years I've evolved friendships with both providers and mongers and it's one of the things I've enjoyed about this world.  It's nice when its about more than the transaction.

Who I began seeing years ago as escort/hobbyist. I was one of the few who she could tell wasn't just interested in getting in her pants. When a close male friend who had been a bit of a life mentor to her passed away, she had no one else to turn to. I helped her out (non-monetarily) where I could. Advice on health, travel, school, phones, relationships. Literally thousands of emails.  

They were all fun for a while, just like you describe.

About half petered out on their own, which is about the best you can hope for; about half ended sadly, to borrow from Tolstoy:  "each in their own way."

And, one developed into a RL relationship, still unfolding day by day, for the last several years.

How this goes is up to you two. Toss the maps away and keep your eyes and hearts open.

It's probably a good thing that she has a RL boyfriend, as long as he is cool with it.  Triangles have sharp edges, you know.

Best of luck with this, and let us know how it's going.

I was friends with a provider a year ago and had the same sort do texting/calling relationship that you have. Her bf got annoyed at first, then very jealous of the texting (but didn't mind her fucking for money)  and told her it was me or him. She chose him so I stopped seeing her. I missed the interaction but got over it pretty quickly (seeing a few new girls helps a lot). Let it run its course. If you keep your hands on your money and spend it as YOU want, all will work out. Just be careful.

Why are you repeating “I am not fallen in love with her”? Are you trying to prove it yourself or someone else. Truthfully, no one’s opinion matters if have or if you haven’t.

You say you're not falling for her, but if you're texting for hours you are clearly into her in some big way.  She may be into you too, or she may just be working you.  But do you text your best buddy for hours?  Text ugly or annoying girls?  Exactly.

She has a bf, you pay her for her time. She texts you and you feel "special". Think about Anthony Weiner and how special he is to those women.

Has facebook, twitter with 1 trillion followers, etc....it's one thing to foster that as part of 'business' - it's another to devote that much time and energy to networking just for the sake of marketing. To me, it follows that she is not only open to having social interactions within the hobby, but possibly enjoys that, and welcomes it for its own sake.  Her conversations with you via text might be an extension of that. It also follows (to my way of thinking) that she genuinely likes you as a person, if she is willing to extend herself in that way.  

Can I just say "what she said" in place of my own response. Except maybe to add that while the OP might not be "in love" he is definitely well past "in like" with this young lady.

These are the conversations she should be having with her BF, the fact that she is having them with you most likely means she isn't getting it at home. Or she bores easily and just likes to have a friendly ear. Only time will tell. tg_baby gives good advice when she says "don't read so much into it"

BTW I have "relationships" like this with hookers all the time, sometimes it leads to something, sometimes it doesn't. Don't set yourself up for a fall, just enjoy the moment and see where it leads. However, you need to be prepared for the very likely reality that it will lead nowhere.

So iv read your post and think that's its pretty interesting because I have similar relationships with select clients. I also have a live in BF IRL. However, I have one client in particular that's become more of a friend and lover than a client. Yes all interactions are still paid for. But we text each other back and forth because we truly do like talking to each other. I have even met his wife and we all went to a music festival together. I could say at times he's my number 2.  

he books overnights often and I want to keep him interested. He wants to be with me, so chatting via email and text often gives the illusion that I care about him, and then he continues to book me.

Interesting use of words. She might be doing a bit of extra work to keep him interested, something along the lines of escorts having OTC meals, answering emails that are not for the purpose of booking etc. Not unlike a guy who spends 5 hours playing golf with a client, or his he playing his client?

The writer just might want to consider the words of the character played by Cher to the character played by Nicolas Cage in "Moonstruck."

I can tell you from personal experience that you can find real friendship and even love here.

Too many responses (and I appreciated them all, honestly, whether they were positive, negative, encouraging, discouraging) for me to take each one on sub-thread by sub-thread, so I'm just going to "@" responders who had interesting things to say:

@ t:  Yeah, I don't think I'm overly-emotionally involved.  It can be tough to keep the boundaries between fantasy and reality in place--but I think I've got this one.

@ SexyflirtAmber: I'm not sure that I'm being played in any real sense; the actual business part of our "business" is great.  With or without this extra component, I'd be seeing her just as often.  Besides, we're not usually in the same city, so our f2f contact is limited--and it's hard enough for me to "make it all work" for us to have our dates when we both do a lot of traveling.  And she's never hit me up for airfare or anything along those lines--actually more the reverse--I tell her that I'm traveling to city "x", and she builds in some time for me, but also sets up other activities for herself (seeing non-hobby friends, photo-shoots, etc).  I'm not sugar-daddy-ing here at all, AFAICS.

@ escalade 1964:  If I were too needy, she'd have no problem telling me to f--- off; or at least not answer texts frequently unless we were specifically making plans for a date.

@ mrfisher:  Thanks for being neither positive nor negative, or judgmental--I really don't think that either of us thinks this is "going anywhere" but where it is right now--but it's nice to know that once in a great while things can work out in a way that you'd never expect they might.

@ anonymousfun:  I've been told a million times not to exaggerate  It was just a turn of a phrase..jeez...

@ bromios:  Yeah, I do sometimes text with my best buddies for hours at a time (and no, I'm not a kid--we're all just really busy, and texting is a great medium since you can deal with other issues and then respond like an hour later--no harm, no foul--I think it's a great way to stay in touch in this over-scheduled, frenetic way that we live in the modern world).  And if I had a female, non-provider, not-terribly-attractive friend with whom I had as much in common as I do in this case--Yeah, sure I'd stay in touch.

And No, (and this is also for @ tg_baby) I'm not single, but that's ok too--it kind of keeps me from getting too carried away with this thing.  Even if I were single, and so were she, there's enough *not* in common that I don't think I would want to have a "real" relationship with her.

@ihateuga:  I have plenty of "real" hobbies.  Too many, actually.

To anyone I missed:  I appreciated your input as well--but I think I covered it all with the replies I've given.

Thanks for the reality check, everyone.  If I go any further over the line, I'll post again on this topic, so all you nay-sayers can go all "I told you so!" all over my butt...

It is your money and you have a right to do what you want. Just keep yourself safe. I do think you like her more than you are willing to admit to. All you can do is be aware and watch what you do so you aren't creating a big mess for yourself and her. She may care about you as much as you do for her, or not. Only one that knows is her.

dont you cross the line the minute you spend OTC time together?

Posted By: SexyflirtAmber

Ok first off it can be a real thing...Yes it can BUT  
   
 But IMO you are being played. Do not do the fall in love shit. Really. A lot of gals will do whatever for the money! Many gals text to try to get MONEY, not YOU. You are both crossing the line and you will be hurt in the end.  
   
 It's great to connect with someone. I have a few regulars that I spend time with OTC and we get how it goes. You need to know the difference or be hurt. OK?  
   
 Let's face it, you say you haven't fallen in love... but you have. Your OP says it all.  
   
 Stop thinking with little head and think straight.  
   

Posted By: CourageousCat

...not exactly (And wow, do I wish that we had LG back and an active "Erotic Highway" board--that would be the better place for this kind of post--anyway  
   
 No, I haven't fallen in love with this provider--seriously.  However:  We have a lot in common; many similar interests, many of which have absolutely nothing to do with the hobby.  She's kind of very "out" in her approach to her work: Facebook, Twitter, etc, accounts all in her stage name--it's part of her approach to the business.  After we'd had a playdate or two, I created a "stage name" Twitter account, just so that we could keep up the flirty fun.  
   
 Now it's like a tiger by the tail thing:  She has 11 trillion Twitter followers and Facebook friends, I know she has an IRL bf, and yet we are text chatting with each other (no more Twitter for us) at length (sometimes for hours at a time) at least every other day (sometimes daily for long stretches).  
   
 Again:  I have not fallen in love with her, and I know she has a bf--but she's become a very real friend to me (in addition to the fact that our actual playdates are the most fun I've ever had with my pants off)--and (I hope I'm not deluding myself) I think I'm a very real friend to her also.  
   
 Bantering with her via text (much of which is now mundane non-flirty "how's your day going?" banter) is just a riot.  A real day-brightener for me.  
   
 So the question is this:  Is this kind of relationship (I guess call it "provider/hobbyist with benefits"?  Clever, eh?) at all normal?  I've been in the hobby steadily for several years now. I admit, I occasionally just send "Hi, how'ya doing?" emails to my favorite providers--especially if I haven't seen them in awhile, and don't want to end up needing to be re-screened if I know I'm going to want to repeat but that it will be awhile until I'll be in her city next.  But that's just common sense.  
   
 This is totally different.  To me, it feels like the same sort of relationship I have with several other friends where we're all kind of busy, and don't have time to chat on the phone at length, so we send some texts back and forth every so often to stay in touch.  But I don't text anybody as often as this--and it's not a one-way street--she's texting right back.  And keep in mind, she's a much sought-after provider/porn star, with tons of friends and zillions of fans--and yet she seems to make an extra effort to stay in touch with me.  
   
 Is it really possible that she's playing along just so that I'll stay interested?  Maybe that's part of it, but it can't be the only reason, can it?  
   
 I'm not being played here in any real way:  I know she has a bf, I'd be seeing her professionally with or without the text banter.  This is just something extra--which I don't think I've ever quite had--or even thought was possible.  
   
 Am I missing something here?  Or should I just consider myself lucky to have something of a real-life friend in addition to having found a dream provider?  
   
 Thoughts?  
 

First of all, there's a big difference between "love" and being "in love". Most of the time, I think we here fall in "lust", and perceive it as love. But sometimes, a friendship does occur, and there can even be love between each person.

I've had dinner and drinks with MANY clients over the years, off the clock. All but one did not get things twisted. You have to be very careful with who you do this with, because like the OP, women are not the only ones who read more into things than what is actually there. In my OTC time, it was never about getting him to come back or keeping him though...most of these instances took place thousands of miles from where I live, and in areas that I would not visit more than once a year. It was only because I wanted to hang out and have fun...nothing more, nothing less. I've never had sex with a client OTC, either.

maybe something they really wanted when they started the hobby.