a provider friend has taken me to task, gently, warmly but critically nonetheless.

she has pointed out an unintended consequence of my review style. this style is usually a warm reminiscence with some emotional content.

she has enjoyed reading my reviews and feels that i often compliment the ladies i have reviewed. her concern is that my review style  may set up unrealistic expecations that could not be lived up to. she advises that a cooler more clinical approach might be better.

now i am not going to have perfect recall in writing a review anyway. so i will not be reproducing every detail. for instance my description of DFK will not have the pas de deux of tounge tips choreographed explicitly.

so, ladies, given the above would you prefer that a review be wrapped in the warm afterglow of how i feel about what you just did or would you prefer it to be more clinical.

it is because i trust my provider friend's instinct on this that i want to test it out. i "trust but verify". (old Russian proverb that.)

As a provider, I'd personally prefer the details that way I can tell what you really enjoyed most.

If that means basking in the afterglow, than so be it.  I read alot of reviews written that way. Tends to mainly for ladies who are GFE.  The clinical ones are more of the wham/bam type.

I don't care what you write as long as it's real!  Just got another fake review.  And jeez, if you are gonna write a fake one, could you at least give me better than a 7/8???  LOL  Hopefully the mods will take it down.  I hate when fake reviews are posted.  Talk about setting up for false expectations.

Happy Memorial Day.  God Bless America.

Kari

Lordy, the problem with the world is that we expect crap, and that's what we too often end up with.

Let's aim high and work towards that goal.

.....reflect exactly how YOU experienced the time together.  Of course, specific details are good so a gent can know what to expect and not expect. I don't think though that you give gents enough credit. They know that their experiences will not be a mirror image of your review.  Chemistry will not always be the same for everyone. Just write a good, honest review along with the details needed for gents to make an educated decision. xoxoxo, MEOW!

i think she may be concerned that i might set expectations impossibly high. OTOH she may have another reason for not wanting a review from me.

she is, BTW, quite well reviewed. just not reviewed by me yet.

write the heck what you want to write and how you want to write it.  If providers or hobbyists don't like your style, or even what you say, SO WHAT!  The reviews are primarily for us other guys to see if the lady is worth seeing.  If guys don't want to read mine because they are long and boring, go onto the next review.  As far as the ladies, the purpose of the review is not to help their marketing strategy.  We owe them honesty, fairness, and human consideration, that's all.  If the worst thing they remember about me is that they didn't like my review style, so what.  It's my review.  Your reviews are your reviews.  You own them, they reflect what you are about, what you feel about the time you spent with her, so be yourself.  Let's all stop worrying about such silly things like if a lady is going to cut back the amount of time she will BBBJ you because of how you choose to write your review.  The fact you give them a review and it is fair is all they should care about.  IMHO.  And yes, you asked the ladies their opinion so please chime in gals.  But it is an open board for opinions to flow.  I myself just finished writing a long and boring review on a nice lady.  I liked it.   Hope she does too because I enjoyed the evening.  But either way, it's my memory, my review, my contribution to the community.  Take it or leave it.

Notice how this sweety from "down yonder" repeatedly pointed out that the review is for the "gents".  And it's about YOUR view of things.  Not one mention about provider concerns other than it be honest.  Thanks Meowbaby!

you say.

i think i was maybe unclear. i'm certainly not worried about her cutting back on BBBJ time because of how i write a review. i would regard that as grounds for not repeating and an inconsistency in service note in a likely final review.

for some reason she seems to sincerely think that one of my glowing tributes is setting her up to _disappoint_ the _next_ guy.

the experience you received from the lady is cool and clinical. While I may be a provider, I've read more than my fair share of other ladies' reviews, and quite frankly, I don't feel the "We did x, y, and z, then moved to positions a, b, and c" tells me anything more about the lady than what I can read from her main profile page, where the do's and don'ts are pretty clearly listed.

To crudely summarize a number of overlapping comments made by the most of the gentlemen who visit me, knowing how a provider makes a reviewer FEEL beyond his cock is important when the gentleman is seeking a lady for something more than a fuckfest.

under promise and over deliver. It makes for the client getting more than what he expected. A good concept in business, but for the hobby who the heck knows.

I think the concern that you might raise expectations for the next guy is both valid and invalid.

It is valid because this is a "people profession" and the chemistry with one guy might be different from another. Maybe you're such a great guy that she just couldn't resist swinging from the chandeliers; but I might show up and she'd decide I'm Beelzebub. Your experience would be different from mine, and maybe if I read your review, I'd be a bit disappointed.

A big part of an escort's performance depends on her ability to "read" a client; and with some clients that is easier than with others.

But there's another angle. Providers stress to  hobbyists, repeatedly, that they are involved in a profession. And not just any old profession, but one meriting non-negotiable hourly rates sometimes on a par with doctors and lawyers. I don't begrudge this at all, because a great provider really IS a pro and leaves you feeling so good you forget there was a fee.

But when dealing with a well-reviewed pro, it's reasonable that one should have very high expectations. A professional with pride in her craft -- no matter what that craft -- should DELIGHT in meeting high expectations.

Obviously, that isn't always going to happen due to chemistry or even differences in extraneous preferences that for some folks are no biggie but for others are a deal breaker.

I say, write your review as you wish to write it! If she blew you away, don't saddle some poor lady with "The soft sexism of low expectations."

-- Modified on 5/22/2009 8:27:55 PM

I'm with you! For me, the physical stuff is maybe 35% of the experience. Everything else depends on the provider's personality, presentation and her ability to give me the "warm fuzzies."

Anyone can engage in intercourse; but making it feel like something better than I can get from Rosie Palm and her Five Sisters depends on more than just the physical.

Really good providers (among which number you are clearly counted) know this!

my response was not specifically targeted at you, but the overall topic.  So yes, the BBBJ thing was just a general "over the top" type comment regarding why some guys may fret over reviews.  And I am also sure your lady's concerns have merit and certainly are a sincere topic for her.  But I agree with what meowbaby said, most of us guys can tell if there is something extra in a review that tells us YMMV.  But I still think it is better to put it your way rather than figure out a perfect formula.  We all should look at someone's body of work anyway.  Just think of your reviews as establishing the "high end potential" of a date with the lady.  I would hate to see all our reviews become some checklist format, the top part is already a pain.  Let there be variety in review styles!  I just hope I figured out the paragraph returns this time.

I also enjoy the juicy details. I WANT the review to be a mirrored image of our encounter.

Writing styles vary but the truth should not.

One thing I can't seem to appreciate. When I go out of my way and do something "extra" special, I feel this should be between the reviewer and myself. Like if I go out to dinner with him, off the clock. I don't want any other guys to think this is SOP. So those kind of things can be kept special.
I appreciate the reviews that are written on my behalf, and I know that my fans enjoy reading them. I also feel that my friends seem to enjoy writing my reviews. They certainly are adept at recapturing the memories.

i find the checklist stuff boring as frozen crap on a stick wrapped in nagahide myself.

i like both meowbaby's and Eve's responses. the "underpromise overdeliver" idea has merit too. for those that go by the numbers hers are no clouchfest.

i think it possible that my lady friend may dread comparing what i would write for her with a few of my other reviews. she knows me well enough to discern subtle differences in my attitude from my writing.

i'll write it as usual and insert it at some random place in the next few reviews. i think it best that i keep this friendship UTR.

that is part of the "human consideration" element I refered to.  Providers should be clear when something above and beyond is being offered and we should not include it.  This is a human interaction and the ladies should be free to make exceptions to their own rules if it enhances the experience for both.  That is one case where the lady should have input, but during the session, not during the review process.  I recently saw a very poor review that revealed an exception to the rules a lady friend of mine has.  I do not respect the reviewer for that.  It showed he had no class or respect for her or this activity.  It made the rest of the review useless in my opinion.

If she is worried about setting her standards too high, that should be her burden not yours. I think it is unfair of her to put you in a situation in which you clearly are quite concerned.

An honest review should suffice.

Xoxo, Giamarie

you're right and although my reviews are innocent of references to OTC time i am afraid that someone might figure out from the tone of my reviews who i spend OTC time with. i value the special plusses that have been gifted to me. i value the fact that i can call a provider or two who have retired genuine friends even though not FWB LOL! i may be charming but i know my limits when there is no envelope! we have found ways to be useful to each other as friends outside the biz....

I am not a lady, but I am sure I have caused a gents expectation to be higher than his experience was.  

However, the mark of a good provider is that even if she doesn't click as well with every person, she is able to give most of what would make most people happy.  That's the business...people pleasing.  

I am a customer service manager, and I have worked this field for 26 years, and I have my favorites, and I don't feel guilty because I can't make everyone like me or my company equally.  

If you are honest and down to earth, and the people who see ladies you review are realistic, then it will be fine.  If they aren't, it isn't your OR HER responsibility for them...it is that person's unrealistic expectation of the meeting in comparison to what THEY bring to the table.

We're all adults here (well, most of us).  It's up to us to act like such.

Write the review the way you want it to read.  
I think your provider friend should not be telling you how to write reviews.  Instead, she should be happy that you give them because so many guys don't.

I agree with you about high expectations.  In any "job" you should aim to do your best and deliver the service/goods that the client expects and deserves.  This is where repeat business comes from.  It seems that today's society is too worried about getting it done quickly and as easily as possible. And the kicker is, they don't see a problem with that.  Just had this conversation with my son who started cutting grass to earn $ this summer.  "it's ok if I miss a spot."  Uh, no it's not.  

Every session is different, even among repeat clients.  Sometimes the chemistry is better, the emotions are running higher, or the hormones are running hotter.  Those sessions are through the roof (aren't they great?)  If a gentleman has one such session and reviews it through the eyes of afterglow, then someone reading it may have a false sense of how every session is.  Which is why, as a majority of hobbiest have stated, you read all the reviews and get an overall sense of what the session will be like.

Just my $.02 for a saturday morning.

Have a great weekend.

Kari

account of a repeat visit, I will not put as much credence into the review as I would if it was a review of a first time visit.  I agree that repeat visits can be much more fun than seeing a lady for the first time--not always, but as a rule of thumb.

The profile is established when the first review is written.  Sometimes the profile is wrong.  The lady can ask TER to update the profile for whatever reason and sometimes guys can get the profile changed as well by filing a problem report.

Case in point--my last date's profile said DFK but the 4 or 5 recent reviews I read only said "soft sensual kisses".  I went into the review expecting the ssk and not DFK; therefore, I was not disappointed.

extra benefits that I do not include in the review.  If the lady gives me extra time because we have good chemistry, she likes my DATY, or whatever, then I will ask her if it is OK to say "she is not a clock watcher".  Otherwise, YMMV.

it's your review. It's your perspective. If others can't see it that way, and understand that everyone and every body is different, than there's a problem. Yes, it helps to be objective, but if the session was something of which you cannot help but sing praises to, then, by all means, do so.
However, if the session as bad, don't sugar coat things with 'oh, she meant well,...blah blah blah. Just be honest.
and most of all, be yourself.

Cool and clinical gets published. Romance happens and does the perfect passion between two people, but write it like a romance novel is the quickest way to getting rejected.