On one hand you make the point that a relationship isn't needed for sex. This is true whether you "hobby" or not. Being the dog motherfucker that I am, I’m keenly aware of this, and at times it does make attachment seem useless, or a “liability” as you accurately described it. Relationships can be a fucking drain on every aspect of your life.
Most often I find women that are either so self-involved that they’re completely oblivious to everyone around them and only presume to know me and others by the superficial assumptions they make, which makes them useless to me as a companion. Somehow whatever YOU say or do is about them, in their own fucking mind. Or, the opposite – they cling, and need to know every minute detail about my life (and everyone else’s), involving themselves in the affairs of others past the point of leaving any room to have their own identity. Those are the ones that depend entirely on you for their happiness because they have no real life of their own and nothing to add to the relationship – they are exhausting to deal with – every minor, trivial misstep in your relationship is the end of the fucking world in their eyes.
With SO many of the above-mentioned types around (because they are the ones who are ALWAYS single) it’s easy for us as men to objectify them since they’d seem to have no other purpose or practical use for us beyond being a fuck toy.
But if you can find someone who’s balanced, who cares enough to take an interest in your life beyond what it can do for them, but has enough going on for herself that every breath you take isn’t her foremost concern, who can give you space and privacy, and who requires the same for herself, allowing you to lead separate lives but with shared goals and sense of purpose, so that when you come together the passion isn’t merely fueled by lust and wanting but also by mutual aspirations and respect, and by the level of mystery you’ve both allowed to remain in tact so that there’s still a reason to explore – then it all becomes worth it. Because life is a hard fucking road, and having a trusted partner with a genuine concern for your interests, is a valuable asset in life.
I know everyone likes to say that good relationships are hard work, but I’m inclined to believe that’s only the case when you make the wrong choice. So many people will try to be with someone just for the sake of being with anyone to cure their loneliness – but that never works. You have to know exactly what you want going in, and not be so afraid of being alone that you can’t cut and run from a bad match, rather than hoping to mold someone into the image of what you need them to be.
You seem to have that part down since your intent seems to be to remain alone in the first place. And I wouldn’t suggest going in search of anyone in particular, because that’s just frustrating, and usually futile. Better to just focus on yourself and see what comes, but at least leave yourself open to the possibility that maybe someone will come along and change the game. That is to say, don’t be so focused on going it alone that no one has a chance, because then you will certainly get what you ask for, and one day you might regret it.
