I've been thinking about this for awhile and decided there are four things most American heterosexual men want regularly in order to be generally happy:

* something warm to eat.
* access to sex.
* something to drive.
* sports on television.

Sure, there are other things high up on the list (money, gadgets, a place to live, etc.) but I think these four things are the constants throughout a man's life, regardless of age or income, at least for most of the guys I've met.

That's my working thesis anyway. I'd be interested in what both guys and gals think on this.

Had all that and more in relationships (and one marraige) in the past and when push came to shove, none of that stuff meant shit.

What I found was that the thing I really needed to be happy was connection.

It's all mental. If there's no connection, then all the gadgets and gizmos in the world won't make me happy. One of the most fulfilling and happy times of my life was when I was in a relationship when all we had was each other.

A willingness on the part of both people involved in the relationship can overcome alot, that's something no High Def. TV and a hot dinner can replace.

Food and shelter are indeed important to me, as is easy (I mean easy!!) access to sex, getting around means something, though it's less important. Sports, however, are completely worthless to me. I just cannot get any kind of a thrill from watching millionaires chasing a ball around a field! I'd say the most important things in my life are my goals. Without hope for the future, I'd be completely lost.

my GF thinks that all you have to do is feed 'em & fuck 'em.  

I've always been able to feed myself.  I'm just no good at fucking myself.

What kills almost every relationship is somebody (and it's usually the woman, 90% of the time) trying to make things complicated.  She needs to find herself, or her therapist says something, all of which is code for, "you're not making enough money".

So good I had to say it twice.  

Not really though.

Happiness is many things to many people.

I have no argument with your list per se, just with lists in general.

What makes me happy?

Hard to say.

Good relationships with the people who share my life would be the best answer I could give on short notice.

-- Modified on 7/29/2006 1:10:27 PM

I must not have communicated this well the first time so I will try again. What my list attempts to do is not define all *I* want from life or all any man wants from life.

Men are not nearly as complex as women. As long as a they have a few things in their lives, they are generally happy. I'm trying to make a list of what those things are through my own observations (not scientific research).

So why not things like good health or oxygen? As needed as they are, there seems to be no correlation between those who have this and those who are happy.

So why not things like money, beer, marriage or religion? They are very important to many men but meaningless to many others. I've met quiet a few men who were happy but were single or non-drinkers or broke or atheists (probably not all four at once though).

Granted "sports on television" is a bit of a stretch and yet I see all sorts or men that are perfectly mollified as long as there's a "game on".

"Relationships" would be a nice addition except it's too ill-defined. Relationship with a spouse? Relationship with a dog? With a friend? Are there plenty of men with relationships who aren't happy? Some men seem to be generally happy loners.

I suppose there are probably unhappy men who have a warm meal but they probably aren't unahppy while they're eating it. As soon as they're done, they'll go back to being miserable.

I'm not trying to explain the meaning of life or the purpose of life. Just trying to qualify what things tend to keep happy men happy.

but I'm pretty much with ya' on the rest.

 The hopeless optimists and spiritualists will cry “Nay”; but in reality were the same simple grunting creature we were when we first learned to walk upright. All that mattered then was a full belly, shelter from the elements and comfort by a female. Get rid of our endless contrivances and you’ll find eating, sex and sleeping are still in our top five favorites; occasionally vacillating with recreational drugs and making war.

I can't wait for your list that says women need bubble baths and ice cream and blacks need watermelon.

Beer and sex have many similarities; the worse I ever had of either was wonderful.

make Mr. Fisher something, something.

The arrest was not what caught my attention. What made me sit up and think was the short story of his life. Mel Gibson most likely can have whatever he wants and almost all women that he would ever want, but he once considered "jumping out a window" as the writer of the short BIO relating to his DUI arrest wrote.
What I get from reading the Gibson BIO as well as analyzing my own wants, is that each of us has a set of needs and can only be happy when all of them are met enough to make us content.
If the person that started this thread truly has the simple set of needs that he (I assume) listed, then more power to him, he truly is lucky.

Complexity is largely a subjective phenomena. Men may appear basic because you probably have a small circle or sample from which you make your assertions. I think women are the least complex of the species because they are generally more direct and decisive. Women and men are equally good liars, but if your sample is limited then you make hasty conclusions. Why not just enjoy the ride?

I don't know what kind of women you have been hanging out with but I have yet to meet one that is less complex than any men I know.  I have known some women to be direct and decisive some of the time but never consistently.  Their personality can change at any given moment for no logical reason.  Don't get me wrong, I love and respect women and feel their complex personalities is one of the many things that makes them beautiful and exciting.  Less complex then men? I don't think so!

-- Modified on 7/29/2006 10:09:55 PM

us mexicanns need our beans

The great Elvis always said happiness was , "Something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to"

* warm to eat - check, but I do all my cooking
* access to sex - check, check, check
* something to drive - a must for anyone even if it is a bicycle
* sports on television - uh I could live without it. I am more active now than in my late teens early twenties and actually watch less Baseball, Basketball, and Football. Actually I watch less tv period, now.

1. Appreciation and delight when he cooks for you.
2. Praise when he fixes something broken.
3. No nagging when he reteats to the cave to read.