Been married along time.  That says alot.  My wife has never been much on experimenting.  She is satisfied with the same ole same ole.  I like a bit more positioning.  I actually tried a "willing" provider, but found I was so uncomfortable and not at ease that I, to my shock, couldn't perform.  Need so morale support I suppose.  Is this common?  Now I'm worried that I won't be able to perform for anyone but my wife.

soon you will only be able to perform with providers and not your wife!!!  It's a strange Obsession.

A few more times before you hang up your spurs cowboy. I miss fired once out of guilt, but hey, I put myself in the hands of a "pro" and it all worked out.

First time nerves can get the better of all of us.  Can I suggest two things that would help.  One, see an older provider ie 35ish (and no, I'm not just talking my own book) and establish a rapport with her via email before you meet.  Secondly, book a longer appointment.  Dinner dates are great because it follows the natural flow of your younger, dating, years.  Talk with the lady about your concerns and both agree that it's not a race to see how soon you 'pop' - just be prepared to succumb to the pleasure of the moment.  If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, well, you've blown a few $$ but on balance, you'd have to say you've had a great evening.

I suppose your right.  I scheduled a two hour session and the lady was actually about 35ish.  Guilt, nerves, anxiety got the best of me.  I'll see to bad you can't help me through it. thanks

Every guy gets performance problems from time to time. They're a part of life.  

Remember that your time with the provider is for you, not for her.  You're not there to impress her or to pop for her.  Her interest is in seeing that you're happy, whether you pop or not.  A pro will do her best to get you there and make you feel great if you don't get there.  

I know how you feel. My wife of 20+ years (soon to be ex) has been totally frigid for too many years, and I have been doing what I need by myself, and even then the rejection I have felt fro her has hurt, and made it difficult/ impossible to fully get it up.

So a few weeks ago I started to see providers. Been to 2 massage and 1 FS. I am still having problems, but my confidence is getting better as I am more relaxed, and these ladies are so very caring and really want me to relax. They are gentle and helpful, and seem to understand my pain. With their help, things are getting better.

There has been an occasion or so when I was not able to pop, and rather than get upset, I figured it was just one of those things. On the times I did finish, I must say they were the most extrodinary, fantastic, WOW explosions I have ever had. But, I had to relax and "let it happen". If I tried to force it, it didn't work. When I let go and went with the moment, then I was able to find release I had never known before.

I am being taught that sex brings pleasure and not pain. I tell my provider up front that I have these issues, and the ones I have seen have been so great that it has taken all the pressure off me.

You also might want to get checked out by a doctor to see if there is a physical problem. I went to one group here in town, had tests and found out I was ok. They gave me some medicine to inject into my unit, but I haven't tried that yet as the idea of putting needles into my dick just doesn't sit right (I know- it's in my mind).

Good luck

Too right, Sheila!

You might also think about a massage first...

If he dines and desserts with the right lady, he will not have "blown $$". He will have had an enjoyable evening with a true professional and a true lady....not a bad deal in my book!
I suspect you would fall in this category!

then again, maybe you should just relax.  Before sinking more money and time in the hobby, perhaps try some counseling with the SO or just try working up to new positions after a long oil massage and some really intense DATY.  (I know--this coming from me of all people).  However if that doesn't work, I say go see one of the top-reviewed providers on this board, a Shayla or a Darlene.  If that doesn't get the old missile standing on the launch pad, you might want to talk to your doc.