Haha yeah I am..

I spend my days in front of computer around 14 hours a day and that is why I am constantly replying in this board.

This one is a serious question. There is a girl I have been kind of seeing here and there, but things are starting to really heat up. Though just because I spend so much time on this board, I sometimes feel awkward interacting with her. I guess my "perception" is starting to shift. (From the most basic things like texting to somethings more complex) I have no problem of course with other girls, but just because she and I might end up having a relationship, things seem a little less smooth nowadays.

Anyways, did your actions or the way you interact change with hobbying overtime?

Thanks.

Keep your priorities straight. SO of over 4 decades can pick up on the least little thing. This is not a easy hobby by no means.
Not as easy as going over to your best buds to play poker.

It did not. I interact with members of both groups in entirely different situations.

Wife lost interest in sex 20-some years ago.  The last time I tried anything was 3 years ago and all I got was an unenthusiastic handjob.  Getting outside sex made me less angry at her for being sexless, so we get along better.

I agree with you. I did see some kind of change in my self-perception/self-confidence in a positive way. I think that did play a role in change of relationship between her and me. It is easier to talk to different women, especially strangers as well. It did help me in some ways interacting in the real normal world.

Having a relationship is about helping the other individual out with their daily dilemmas. Its not about starting drama and having drama, that is not a healthy relationship. If one partner can't get along with another partner, then, it's time to move on.

I told that to my one of my friends one time before he married her. He would always complain that she would prevent him from doing things he liked because of her own personal reasons. Needless to say, she prevented him from being an individual and succeeding in his own dreams. An SO will be there to help you accomplish your goals, give you support, and allow you to chase your own dreams without holding you back. If she is holding you back, then, move on.

As it relates to the hobby, it hasn't change how I interact my own SO. Sure, we may have our disagreements every once in a while, but, it hasn't got to the point where I am reconsidering separating. The thing about having an SO is, you gotta spend more time with her than you usually do, and when that happens, thoughts will collide. You'll find out what her likes and dislikes are, and everything else about her. That's a part of having a deeper relationship. Anyhow, good luck!

You post on almost every single thread. That's okay, but it may become an addiction.
I know I have a habit of coming here when I am bored. It's fun. The hobby world can be darker than you think though.
There are all types of hobbiest. Roaming this board will influence the way you think if you let it. You certainly seem excited to be influenced. Be careful of what you wish for...

Many of us struggle with our addictions, sex, love, social media, hobby media ?  I'd like to know how many of us have it, admit and try to deal with it.

Prepkid

My SO and I stopped sex years ago, we talk about my hobbying, she is supportitive, and yes, it has bought us together, it's given us something new to talk about, and she was helpful when I started to obsess.  It gave her something to support me on again, and once again I needed her support.

I don't know what it would be like in a new relationship.  Personally I think it would be better to focus all your attention on your new SO, and give up the hobby.  Does she know you hobby? Is she comfortable with that.

She of course has absolutely no idea about this.. Well I want to try to make things work with someone with my age. At least make an attempt. Last time was with someone who was much older than me, and although we had hard time clicking at the beginning, when we did, we were really committed to our relationship.

I guess my frustration is coming from worry that I might not be able to comprehend what so and so relationship situation is supposed to be like.

I'm not the shy type guy around civilian women .  
I don't talk nearly as much around providers . Go figure .

After many different journeys of love won and lost with civilians , I have never considered
falling for a provider once I left her door .
 Why take a chance changing such an easy to play program,
 and botching a good gig  ?

 To answer your question, I tend to not hobby when I am in a "genuine"  
relationship  that's going "well" .  I would have an extremely hard time
looking deep into her eyes , if I just got back from a fave  .  
That would be too brutal for my eyes to see  .

 

 
 
 

The hobby should make you more knowledgeable & skilled sexually.  It should make you better able to separate the hormonal drive from a sexual encounter with provider or civie.   The hobby calls for both parties to short circuit the emotional, or at least, tone it down.  You will need to work on the emotional...  and I think for the better...  just you've had sex, even a few times, you may have feelings but it does not mean you are meant for each other, necessarily.  

I've burned through a few relationships, a cancelled engagement & a failed marriage that should not have happened in the first place.  There were fewer issues with the second (current) marriage...  except lack of sex.  

Had I hobbied first, I would have been much more selective.
H

But it's all good now.  I enjoy being free and I'm very happily divorced.

The reason why divorce is so expensive is because it's worth it.

I agree with Rudy. My wife began to loose interest in sex pretty much on our honeymoon. As in, "What do you mean, no more BJs???" I estimate that I have sessions with providers ten times more often than I have sex with my wife. Now, since I've stopped asking her for sex, I'm much less angry each day as im  ot shot down. And I've gone from actively trying to piss her off to simply ignoring her as much as possible. While divorce has occurred to me, I prefer to be able to see my kids each day, and I would like to keep the half or more of my stuff that would cost. I really regret the time I was going to ask her for a pre-nup and then wussed out...

Do you want to know the best way to find out how a civie relationship works?
Have one.
Fail,or success... You learn. Have another. Repeat until you find her, or she finds you.
Don't over think it.
I admit that I have similar feelings toward the SO thing. So while I am not actively seeking a GF.
If lightning were to strike, I would jump, and the net will appear.  Or not...

It is just up to the woman on how she would spice up the SEX Life...And it has to be fair and agrreable to both partners...

U see, i once was a civie lady who once fall in love with white american ASSHOLE (LOL...excuse moi French)...I come to US to marry him because i was in LOVE even i don't really like to be in US because i love London and i love to lived in London...

Every now and then i will take him to gentlemen's club and i will buy him a lap dance...Sometimes i will hire two masseurs to give us a massage and have SEX with us...

Before i marry him i told him that i am gonna be with him 24/7 and for sure am gonna be bored with him in BED so we have to have someone with us once or twice a month...then he agree...

6 to 8 mos. after we got married things changed...He would not want to DATY me anymore...He gotten lazy in BED...So one day i told him that he knows i LUV to be licked so if he does not want to licked me we have to have someone to licked me...Then he get angry and he said why would i want to have another man in bed that he is not comfortable having another man in bed...So, i told him, i know his gonna say that so i suggest we hire a woman to licked my pussy then he can watch then he can join after when he wants...

Gee, I thought his gonna be HAPPY but then he said, what will that woman and me do after we gonna excahnge fone number and we will be licking eacht other during the lunch time...I said yah of course, why not but i will going to call and invite him to join me and the another woman...

LOL...my ex husband effin' drive me nutzzz...now, he regret evrything and he wants me back and i said unless he pay , $10,000/hr yeah i will go back to him...

So u see, it is just you have to make the right choice of a civie partner...






-- Modified on 5/11/2012 4:19:56 PM

Amen!

I do civvie date but I'm older, divorced and not looking for a serious relationship so my thoughts on the subject may be a bit extreme compared to a younger guy who is looking for ms. right.  Knowing that I can pay for sex from a beautiful woman anytime I want it and also having an ATF that I get along very well with has created a situation for me where I feel zero pressure to put up with any crap from a civvie dating partner...

She stopped giving me blowjobs.  Now I outsource.  We both seem happy with the new status quo.

As far as other women go.  I now see all good looking women as potential bedmates (for at least an hour) and don't waste my time anymore wooing those that won't.

He would always complain that she would prevent him from doing things he liked because of her own personal reasons. Needless to say, she prevented him from being an individual and succeeding in his own dreams.

WOW, that hits what a friend is going through dead on.  He is so miserable but not willing to make a change.

the surface. Providers are aware of this which is why we screen throughly.!
Find "your kind" and you'll be good!
Know what your doing before venturing into the unknown.