: TER General Board Discussion : Call Ray Donovan........ Eom

Senator.Blutarsky 2914 reads

posted 9 years ago

1 / 26

I'd like some advice on a delicate situation...

You see, a long time aide passed away recently and it may have been my fault. He was a little older than me, married with a nice family. Anyway, one day I caught him at work on a cam site. I called him into my office and he confessed that he wasn't getting it at home anymore.

I felt sorry for the guy and told him not to waste his dough on those cam sites. He also confessed that he had been telling the wifey that he was working late and then hanging out in hotel bars trying to pick up women. But alas, he had no game and always went home frustrated. I asked him if he had considered a pro. He told me no and that he wasn't sure how to hire one. Well, I told him I had some friends that frequented escorts and I'd find out from them what the protocol was. (come on now, I couldn't let this guy know I hung out with crazy hookers, now could I? Well, maybe I could, my constituents don't seem to care what I do).

I got him set up with this gal I knew who promised to show him the ropes. You should have seen him the day of his rendezvous. He was smiling from ear to ear and strutting around. You could tell he was enjoying the anticipation of the event, maybe even more that the act itself. It was like he had gotten his balls back.

Here's my problem. I didn't know he had a heart condition and he fucking died fucking the poor girl. She calls me up all hysterical, asking me what she should do. I tell her to get her stuff and leave, that I'd take care of it. I had a couple of buddies who owed me a favor, so I called them up and go to the hotel. I had them get the guy dressed and walk him out like they had a drunk buddy who they were taking home. They got him to his car and drove it to a nearby WalMart. The problem is no one found him until his wife reported him missing later that evening.

Now she's asking me why he was at that WalMart? What the fuck do I tell her?

NoGreenBorderedEnvelope 95 reads

posted 9 years ago

2 / 26

Wal-Mart: Always the best BS stories. Always. EOM

END OF MESSAGE

Julian7 89 reads

posted 9 years ago

3 / 26

Tell her...

...to watch Weekend at Bernie's.

HappyChanges 91 reads

posted 9 years ago

4 / 26

Poor bastard......

saw one hooker and croaked.

impposter 49 Reviews 104 reads

posted 9 years ago

5 / 26

Man up!

Posted By: Senator.Blutarsky

Now she's asking me why he was at that WalMart? What the fuck do I tell her?

"Well, dearie, I guess you could say he was at the Walmart because I sent him there ... even if it was indirectly."

Related Link: Caskets at Walmart

sasha2cute See my TER Reviews 96 reads

posted 9 years ago

6 / 26

Ugh. Ure trying to hard on this fake story.

Not buying it and u shouldn't be selling it.

SpectreNBond 78 reads

posted 9 years ago

7 / 26

Good one Senator ...

Nice marketing plug for a new business following the previous post for your clean up crew .

Any good names??? Triple "C"
Companionship Cleaning Crew service

I get a cut if it flies....

jelloman42 10 Reviews 94 reads

posted 9 years ago

8 / 26

Hit her with a Larry the Cable guy line...

...tell her he went there "to get her something nice"...

sdottaylor 19 Reviews 79 reads

posted 9 years ago

9 / 26

Hey

Tell the wife he was shopping for mason jars

trex44 9 Reviews 84 reads

posted 9 years ago

10 / 26

Is Harvey Keitel in the cleanup crew? EOM

END OF MESSAGE

nothrofboston 24 Reviews 84 reads

posted 9 years ago

11 / 26

I've had some heavenly pussy ....

but he's taken this hole thing a bit to far. WTF, with friends like you ....

As for the wife, tell her the truth, it's her fault. If he was banging her sorry ass, this may never have happened. It's not like he can get in any trouble, just don't tell her you set up the date.

You might consider getting yourself a good lawyer tho. You should be more worried about yourself than the wife, considering you're an accomplice. To what, I'm not quite sure.

I guess your gal pal gots some killer pussy, huh. It's heartfelt stories like this that make this board all that it's cracked up to be.

Ya know, there's always something to be learned here. Last week, I told an escort last week I was dying to meet her. I have to be more careful with my choice of words in the future. Thanks!

Maybe I'm being a bit insensitive here Sasha, sometime you can't make this shit up.

ROGM 97 reads

posted 9 years ago

12 / 26

You Should Have Called The Police Right After Your Friend Died.

You made the situation worse by trying to take care of it yourself. Dragging your friends into this was also bad. Leaving his dead body in a Walmart parking lot was bad. You do realize that Walmart has video recording of their parking lot. You better hope that you, your friends, and her don't get into any legal trouble.

golf1953 116 Reviews 87 reads

posted 9 years ago

13 / 26

Tell her the truth

He mentioned he was stopping by Walmart to by some pussy. BTW. I googled pussy at Walmart and one of the offerings was " Killer Pussy, Teenage enema nurses in bondage"
So I guess Ole Wallet Mart sells a little of everything.

Senator.Blutarsky 85 reads

posted 9 years ago

14 / 26

Damn smart thinking son...

There may be a place for you in my administration.

I had another aide research the wife and come to find out she collects music boxes. Also, their anniversary was coming up in a few weeeks. So, I told her that her husband had beeen talking about getting her a music box for their anniversary. He was looking for one that played "Edelweiss" since he new that was one of her favorite songs.

She broke down sobbing. Crisis averted. The funeral is on Monday. Do you think it will be tacky if I take an escort with me?

-- Modified on 8/19/2017 9:46:20 AM

Senator.Blutarsky 81 reads

posted 9 years ago

15 / 26

Would you be interested in some real estate I have for sale?

END OF MESSAGE

MatureGFE See my TER Reviews 78 reads

posted 9 years ago

16 / 26

LMAO!

I guess some people didn't get that your little humorous story was just that, a funny story! Thanks for the chuckles.

Steph XO

GaGambler 91 reads

posted 9 years ago

17 / 26

Well there is always at least one idiot in every crowd

Is it really any surprise our idiot was Mr Milk and Diapers himself. lol

I remember when DC used to do these little "recaps" of the week before, some of them where downright hilarious, and yes, some moron would always take it literally back then too.