Well said. Building a friendship and long term relationship with a client can be beneficial for both. If that is the direction that the client wanted in the first place then all is good. My clients tell me they feel safer knowing they have nothing to worry about seeing me and that there's way too much that could happen to them if they strayed to an unknown. Balance is the key and sometimes we get too close.

We all have to know what business we are in.

Providers are in show business, essentially.

As such, it is your job to make us clients feel like a million bucks.  The fact that you are good at it is no reason to despair when a few clients can't handle the illusion you spin.

But, like any kind of show biz, it pays to stick to the script.  Prying to closely into a client's affair, in inveigling them in to yours is a recipe for disaster; though I've seen this happen all too often.

Like most things in life, the real pros find the right balance.

Ladies seem to be cold and unattached.. All about business.

Over the last year, I have had 3 clients tell me.. They felt too guilty about their adventures, They did not think I was meant for this business or They wanted to marry me and get me out of this business.

Which makes one ask.. What am I doing wrong?
I love what I do and after time yes, I share with a certain few more then I probably should.

It has always been my goal to see a select few.. But as I watch my friends leave. 1 by 1 and yes I get attached too. I am wondering. Do you I just see anyone who checks out and keep it cold and business like..I depend on my clients. ( mistake) I too get disappointed and Yes, I too look forward to my funtimes.............

We are people.  All of us. We grow friendships over time.  Personalities click and the fantasy grows until it hits reality.  Then everything gets blurred.  Where does one start and the other end?  
And you make a date and she is truly glad to see you. And feelings get muddled.  Someone strokes my ego, and makes me feel special and then gets intimate with me, then there will be feelings of some sort.

Some gents just aren't made for this experience (I hate the word hobby).  They can't or won't separate the fantasy from the reality.  Those of you who are really good at providing that fantasy are most likely to have a "Sir Lancelot" become infatuated and try to rescue you.

You are doing nothing wrong. You are just excellent at your job.

Jessica it sounds to me like you are enjoying yourself and it shows. Some men will become attached and it is jot your fault that it happens because you obviously are imparting your emotions into you efforts which I credit you for. The problem is NOT you it is the men you have been encountering and their lack of being able to separate a brief intimate encounter with someone real. In short keep doing what you are doing.

So 3 clients said they liked you personally, ....and? It probably means you are good at what you do. Or it could have nothing at all to do with you. Perhaps these guys are unhappy in their professional and/or personal life and they are looking for an escape, whether it be you or someone else. Some people are just looking for something to grab onto and if it wasn't you it would be something or someone else.

Also, were talking about intimate acts between human beings, you don't sell used car parts. As long as you don't blur the lines of reality and maintain boundaries, I don't see the big problem. If you were detached and machine like these guys probably would never have repeated or even come to see you in the first place.

FYI on a practical note, if you spend more time talking about your hopes and dreams and sharing your personal life with these guys than you do fucking, chances are more likely they will get attached and get it twisted as something more than sex.

And sometimes things just run their course, even perfectly good business relationships.

You are doing just fine and there is nothing wrong in showing your true self. Many ladies get close to their friends and find themselves getting attached. Isn't it better to enjoy your clints so to speak than to be removed in your attitude and care less. I hate feeling like a piece of meat myself and find seeing the same gentlemen more like a sensual date I can look forward to. Yes, I have grown attached to many gentlemen but know that I must control our relationship so neither of us gets hurt. Once you can comfortably do this without seeming to be to unattached you'll master this type of relationship.

If your truly looking for a relationship leave yourself open to these thoughts then when someone is interested in sweeping you off your feet go for it. Nice guys do see us although most are already attached.

Kisses Haley

I am not looking for a relationship.. other then a stable business with friends that I enjoy..

Sex and love are two different animals..

I have all the love I need and then some in my personal life

If you are an attractive woman in public, sooner or later it's going to happen -- some dude, with no provocation whatsoever, is going to propose marriage, and he's going to be serious about it too.

The more contact you have with the public, the more likely it is to happen. Just ask any really attractive woman who has, for example, worked the counter at a convenience store.

I have no idea why guys do this, but they will. An attractive woman of just the slightest acquaintance -- he may not even know her name -- will field proposals.

Well, obviously, you get pretty danged intimate with strange men of slight acquaintance. You even might have sex with them sometimes.

If merely ringing up a guy's Coke and giving him a smile will net a proposal from a certain percentage, just imagine what sex will do!

It's an odds game. You shoot a shotgun at a target 40 yards away, and a certain number of pellets will fall inside a 6 inch circle. That's the convenience store clerk. Move the target to 30 yards away, and even more will fall in that circle. That's you.

To a certain extent, what I am saying, is it is just dumb luck and it doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong.

Especially if selling a coke is at 40 yards. But yes right idea.

but I'm slow - you're observation is that because you throw yourself into your work, some of your clients blurr the lines?  yes its common.  I don't know how much I can add to what others have said, but I will say I stay away from cold unattached providers.  perhaps what you're experiencing simply comes with the territory of being that good?  i've met with and repeated with very well reviewed ladies who, although tender and wonderful in our times together, did have an aire of bitterness and detachment.  in the end, my business went elsewhere.  what are you going to do?

I will not see anyone who is just business, at least not knowingly and would definitely not repeat with someone like that.

If it's cold and just business, they are not escort......that would make them hookers.  I for one would not spend any amount of cash for cold and business much less the normal 7 bills to 2k per visit, much less the trips I take where the cost is much more.

So no you're not doing anything wrong. I think that some people get overly attached and that they may not have the mental capacity for this type of hobby and or relationship (and before you pick apart the relationship reference, you do have some form of a relationship if you see anyone on a regular basis, be it a compensated one it still exist). Some may think the fantasy is at some point reality but none the less, they are paying for fantasy even though they are not capable of differentiating between the two.

So IMO cold and business equals less business and may be less desirable for you as well. (from your stated opinion) "It has always been my goal to see a select few. But as I watch my friends leave. 1 by 1 and yes I get attached too."



-- Modified on 9/26/2011 1:57:02 PM

I understand what you you're trying to say but that paints with a very wide brush.

I mean why call them friends then, you may as well call them clients? There's nothing wrong with that but call it what it is.  Friends do have feeling for one another and yes love is sometimes one of those feelings with true friends. Not all friends love each other but all friends do have some form of feelings. Hell I love my best guy friend and would do anything for him. Just because a guy feels the same way about any lady friend does not mean that there is an ulterior motive to it.

I'll be the 1st to say that not all ladies I see am I friends with..... nor do I wish to be. In no form or fashion am I delusional enough to think that they are my friends either, reardless of what they say or how well the session went. We're both friendly with one another but not really friends. In fact when I started in this hobby almost 2 years ago, no one could have ever made me believe that I'd become friends with anyone involved and I definitelyy had no intention of forming any true friendships.

Low and behold I did become friends with a few ladies, not just friendly with them but good friends. I don't wish to marry or rescue them but I would help them accomplish their goal in any capacity i'm able to. Weather that was to find a good way out of the biz or to help them market themselves for more business.

So to say sex and love are two different things is correct but they sometimes do coexist and they don't necessarily equal the same thing. Although I do understand the context in which you are referring to it and that many may not be able to differentiate it, in the capacity as I'm referring to them in.

Just my .02 and that won't buy you much.....lol

-- Modified on 9/26/2011 3:29:10 PM

-- Modified on 9/26/2011 3:36:12 PM

The way I see it, their job is to give you a good quality sexual experience.  I don't "need" to feel like a million bucks, because I'm already very confident and know what I'm about.

Yet he said if you wanted to remain a provider that he would support your decision. Moreover, if you wanted to retire, he would support that decision as well. What you think about that?

END OF MESSAGE

most of us aren't acting