TER General Board

Burned Out or just Burned?
eroticspirit 28 Reviews 1005 reads
posted
1 / 20

Recently I booked a multi-hour rendezvous with a provider I've known for many years. She has been one of my all-time favorites (have seen her several times) and we've always had incredible sessions!!  

 However, the last time I saw her she didn't seem to be herself. I took her to dinner and she talked about how she was making plans to go into real-estate and begin a life transition. She also opened up to me about her true age (with absolutely no prodding from me whatsoever) and she also described some of the kinkier requests some of her more famous clients have asked her to engage in (she has seen well-known celebrities.) These requests were (even for a seasoned hobbyist like myself) rather shocking---and I think the memories bothered her somewhat. It was obvious that she's approaching a crossroads with a lot of things---and honestly I felt kind of sorry for her.

 Because of this I really couldn't perform like I usually do---in fact I really couldn't perform at all!! Yet I didn't feel cheated-I suppose I felt like I was a welcome respite for her at that moment and I was acting as a safe kind of "sounding board", if you will. I know this flies in the face of the hard-fast "business" aspect of this life but this episode reminded me that we're ALL human beings and we ALL can be vulnerable and need someone to reach out to now and then--no matter who we are.

 So the questions are---Have you ever been in this kind of situation? If so, how did you handle it?

-- Modified on 3/13/2016 7:03:02 AM

mrfisher 115 Reviews 369 reads
posted
2 / 20

and the best thing for both of you is to listen very carefully and never pontificate.

Offer understanding and support.

We all need someone we can lean on once in a while,....

Zak0326 33 Reviews 277 reads
posted
3 / 20

A few girls have opened up to me. I always thought it was because of my age and because of where I have been in life.    
Like Mr Fisher said listen be understanding and patient.
If she needs to cry hold her. She feels safe with you. I know you said the sex was bad but if you see her again she will rock your world. That's how it's been with me. The session after they open up is dynamite.
This isn't an easy job and god knows how many thoughts are running thru a women's head at any given moment while in this world.
Treat them nice make them feel safe. Your doing it right.  

 
Posted By: eroticspirit
 Recently I booked a multi-hour rendezvous with a provider I've known for many years. She has been one of my all-time favorites (have seen her several times) and we've always had incredible sessions!!  
   
  However, the last time I saw her she didn't seem to be herself. I took her to dinner and she talked about how she was making plans to go into real-estate and begin a life transition. She also opened up to me about her true age (with absolutely no prodding from me whatsoever) and she also described some of the kinkier requests some of her more famous clients have asked her to engage in (she has seen well-known celebrities.) These requests were (even for a seasoned hobbyist like myself) rather shocking---and I think the memories bothered her somewhat. It was obvious that she's approaching a crossroads with a lot of things---and honestly I felt kind of sorry for her.  
   
  Because of this I really couldn't perform like I usually do---in fact I really couldn't perform at all!! Yet I didn't feel cheated-I suppose I felt like I was a welcome respite for her at that moment and I was acting as a safe kind of "sounding board", if you will. I know this flies in the face of the hard-fast "business" aspect of this life but this episode reminded me that we're ALL human beings and we ALL can be vulnerable and need someone to reach out to now and then--no matter who we are.  
   
  So the questions are---Have you ever been in this kind of situation? If so, how did you handle it?

-- Modified on 3/13/2016 7:03:02 AM

Oldtimemonger 285 reads
posted
4 / 20

I think it's great that you are willing to be her shoulder to cry on but paying for a multi-hour and not getting anything out of it is just letting yourself getting taken advantage of

escalade1964 65 Reviews 276 reads
posted
5 / 20

She should take a break and certainly not have had A DATE WITH YOU!

I have my own issues to deal with and while paying a lady to provide
I certainly do not need to hear hers.  

That is for the Civie world! IMO

smallsteps 4 Reviews 229 reads
posted
6 / 20

She was simply relating a few of the more stressful experiences and consequences of her business, such as demanding clients, stalkers, and other concerns that most of us never have to deal with or even think about.  She even apologised for using up much of our time, even though she will often cheerfully extend it.

She says it can be a somewhat lonely lifestyle; knowing that she is comfortabe enough with me to discuss these issues is heartwarming to me, and can actually enhance our intimacy.

NumNumMan 168 reads
posted
7 / 20

I have had this happen to me twice.

First, a "former" ATF reduced her menu SIGNIFICANTLY, talked too much, cut our session short and her acting was terrible. I saw her recent reviews others had the same experience. She went from ATF to History as a result. She is a higher cost provider and not worth the regular rate given her new behavior.  

Second, a regular tour girl has gotten worse each time I have seen her. After her last visit, I confronted her about it and she denied she was performing worse. On her next visit, she sent me a text for our usual routine. I did not respond. Her reviews again reflected this decline.  

On to the next girl.... That is what I like about the hobby. Lots of choices

eroticspirit 28 Reviews 153 reads
posted
8 / 20

She was VERY discreet about divulging names---(which I was very thankful for---as I truly didn't want to know--it's none of my business!!)

 And yes, she is very comfortable with me (which honestly flattered me---I felt good that she could unburden herself a little bit.) She paid a very nice compliment--telling me that if and when I ever find a steady GF she'll be a very lucky woman. That was very thoughtful---although in a sense it kind of fit in with the theme as I think she'd like nothing better at this point than a nice gentleman to share companionship with.

-- Modified on 3/13/2016 10:14:42 AM

eroticspirit 28 Reviews 225 reads
posted
9 / 20

That really wasn't her fault---as she wanted (and tried like hell LOL!!) to have fun with me after sharing this info. It was MY head that kind of got a little fucked-up---the intensity of the discussions kind of put me in an introspective mood and I just didn't have my usual zip!!

some-guy 6 Reviews 174 reads
posted
10 / 20

... Who said she was getting out of the business. I was one of the last clients she saw before she went MIA for about 6 months or so.

How did I react? By telling her that since she was getting out, I should "give her my real number" (so we could get together sometime). Which I did. Still waiting for her to call. Any day now.

FatVern 159 reads
posted
11 / 20

or a shoulder to cry on... That's what freinds are for.

FatVern 132 reads
posted
12 / 20
LasVegan 192 reads
posted
13 / 20

yes we are ALL human.  Some of us just have a more difficult time of feeling/expressing our human side.  Of course when we do share it we make ourselves vulnerable and none of us wants to do that under the wrong circumstances.

And yes, we are hobbyists/providers who expect to conduct a business transaction and get the most out of it in the process.  But not only can that be done in countless ways that are mutually beneficial to the hobbyist/provider, sometimes we do pleasantly get more than we could have imagined.

Was quite a while ago, but I visited a provider who had not only been my ATF but I visited her countless times.  She had been in a vehicle accident and while she was recovering she was experiencing financial issues.  I visited her, against her advice, and simply sat and let her vent about all that was going on in her life.  Then before I left, made sure to leave her several times her hourly rate.  While we exchanged nothing more than a hug and some very intimate conversation, it was almost cathartic for us both.

This was one of the very few times I allowed myself to "completely" lower my guard, but after verifying her circumstances and recalling all the times she was amazingly considerate to me, this exchange was definitely worth my time and effort.

FatVern 151 reads
posted
14 / 20

The meeting took place, right?

impposter 49 Reviews 188 reads
posted
15 / 20

There was someone I had seen a few times, a tiny girl (less than 5', maybe 90#?). (I like tiny girls!) We could cuddle and snuggle and do the other stuff, too. She disappeared for a while (about a year) and returned and I saw her again.  

She remembered me well. She said that she had been working but in another city. But now, she was aloof, would not let me hold her, everything was mechanical ... and her newer reviews reflected the change, too. She knew me and knew that I'm not a roughneck but was still aloof.

My theory (NO PROOF! Purely speculation!) is that some guy or guys might have been too rough with her or taken advantage of this tiny girl in other ways.  

Was she burned out by the routine or had she been burned out by something specific, bad behavior by just a few things outside of the routine?  

After being back for a year or so, she disappeared again and recently returned again. I probably will not try to see her ... although I would if I knew I could see the original cuddly version of her old self

eroticspirit 28 Reviews 160 reads
posted
16 / 20

Yep, we met----I decided not to post a review of the encounter. She's given me so many incredible times over the years that I'm not going to gripe and bitch if one session is off and doesn't go true to form. (Shit happens in this crazy world!!) My motto--people are allowed to be human!! If your position is that I got hustled---well---all I can say is you're entitled to your opinion but every other time I've seen her has been mind-blowing!! If she were a hustler she would've displayed this trait from day one--and she never has!!

Afro-desiac 167 reads
posted
17 / 20

Your confusion may stem from your being in flat mode instead of tree mode.  If so, you should change that.

eroticspirit 28 Reviews 147 reads
posted
18 / 20

LMAO!! OK OK---I got it!!


-- Modified on 3/13/2016 3:54:08 PM

FatVern 149 reads
posted
19 / 20

I always try to make the most of every encounter. There have been times that my ear for calamity has left me feeling elated, but that feeling quickly fades. Once the realization sets in, that I've been hustled.  

 
Did you think I was using the term "hustler" in a negative sense? I'm just calling it what it is.

clairecavendish See my TER Reviews 121 reads
posted
20 / 20

Really she should have offloaded all this stuff onto a therapist or friend not used a decent regular client who is paying for a professional service. If I'm feeling overwhelmed with life or having personal issues I don't work, or I work and take care not to let my mood or situation spoil the experience with me that someone has worked hard to be able to spend money on.
Bad luck for you to be on the receiving end and I hope she sorts herself out.

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