Yeah I get some may not celebrate Christmas but I don't count them as real people anyway. :0)

Went from Fort Lauderdale to Cozumel, took A LOT of sultan baths (the water was infused with perfume). Had these bluetooth headphones on so I could play music in the tub. Ate 10 meals a day (had pot roast every dinner with horseradish), bathed 6 times a day in the sultan, drank like a tub of pink lemonade, gained 5 kilos. The cruise ship lobby had this huge Christmas tree with fake snow on it and tons of lighting, families and their kids everywhere it was like the cruise ship was one giant family. Whenever I wanted quiet I just read at the library onboard. Will repeat.

and i got to milk his cock all over the chocolate chip cookies and we shared the cookies...and i got inflatable butt plug as a reward)

Not my fault i was born Jewish...
I want to believe in Santa!

I am NEVER going to eat chocolate chip cookies on Christmas again!! (lol)

Twas the night before christmas
and all through the house,
everyone felt shitty,
even the mouse.

My dad said half the living room was mine,  the other half belonged to my sister.  The entire living room was filled with gifts!  He told my brother his was in the garage.  He definitely loved spoiling his kids
Christmas was my dad's favorite time of year. He way out did himself that year. I will never forget that year :

We were also Jewish, and had 8 crazy nights as Adam Sandler has pointed out.

Before I stopped celebrating.  

into the kitchen before siblings were awake.  Grandfather reading the paper while sipping coffee, then without a word he poured me half a cup and slid over the milk & sugar with a wink.

What's a grit?

Were these magic grits? Did you get these grits from the same guy who sold Jack his bean stalk beans?  

A seemingly jolly fat guy knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good.  And let’s not forget that you’re being warned not to shout or cry.

I think any of those get you on the "Naughty but a keeper" List

So ... magic grits are like magic mushrooms?

when I was 12 years old and WW2 was over I had been nagging  my parents how much I wanted, needed, and deserved a bicycle. My dad had a Montgomery Wards bike laid away for me. In my pleading and snivvling about bikes I mentioned that I really didn't like the Monky Wards bikes. But, WOW   the Western Auto bikes were really great. My dad canceled  the layaway and bought me the one I coveted. I didn't know this for several years when my parents finally told me. I loved them and that bike.

I drove 100 miles to be with my GF at her place of employment...  she snuck out & we did the deed in her company car.

I was hoping someone would make the reference  

I was 7 I think and beginning to think this Santa business was a big lie. I mentioned that to my oldest sister, who was around 11 then. She told me in no uncertain terms that Santa IS real, and in hushed tones told me about the time she snuck downstairs late on Christmas Eve and saw him with her own eyes. Well, I had to believe an eyewitness account from my oldest sister, so I got to hang onto my childhood innocence for a couple more years.  

opening my eyes to see my grand mother who travelled from another country to come spend Christmas with me .... good times