TER General Board

Beware
some-guy 6 Reviews 1249 reads
posted
1 / 18

t here's the situation.

Got me a sugar baby. At the bargain basement cost of $500 every time I meet her. Which is about 3 times per month.

On the other hand, I got the regular provider. $500 per HOUR.

The sex I get from Sugar Baby is mind-blowing. Just like the sex with provider is mind-blowing. My SB is hot. Just like my regular provider. At this rate, I am getting everything I could ever ask for out of Sugar Baby. Plus we have an actual friendship.

The more I am with my SB, the more I realize that it is the kind of deal that I wish I had with the provider.Would it make any sense at all whatsoever to ask regular provider if we can re-negotiate our terms? I don't want to lose my regular. But at this rate, it is making less sense financially, compared what I am getting with the SB. Is it time to cut her loose?

My temporary solution to this problem was to schedule a 3some with my SB and my provider. I feel like it is the only thing that will work out for all parties involved. :-) The only way I can clear my head and make these kinds of really tough and life-changing decisions. My happiness hangs in the balance after all

Lady_Rose See my TER Reviews 491 reads
posted
2 / 18

Popcorn, now would be the time...I feel this just might get really good :)

Fancy8888 See my TER Reviews 423 reads
posted
3 / 18

Sex workers going to blow your mind and get paid.Enjoy 3 some :)

sasha2cute See my TER Reviews 355 reads
posted
4 / 18

dont get greedy. Introducing them to each other may backfire on you. And then you won't have neither one. Enjoy what you have now

mrfisher 115 Reviews 309 reads
posted
5 / 18

There is an unacknowledged benefit you are getting from the provider which is:  lack of baggage.

I hope it doesn't happen, but your SB relationship could end up the more expensive and heart wrenching experience by far.

"No strings attached" is more than just a saying.  It is like Star Treks "Prime Directive".  Meant to protect those you meet as much as yourself.

Give that some thought, and keep those worlds separate

Cardinal_Richelieu 2 Reviews 284 reads
posted
6 / 18

As i have posted on TER before, the SB route is fraught with danger.  It can slide into some kind of fantasy romance.  Then you've got problems. Been there, done that.

The hooker route is the way to go.   The lines are clearly drawn with a TER girl.

Some of the ladies here offer something called a "non-exclusive SB arrangement."  Maybe that would work for you.

Cheers,

His Eminenc

JackDunphy 304 reads
posted
7 / 18

Be straight up, work out some sort of win/win scenario for you and your reg and enjoy the benefits of having enough balls to ask for what you want.

Special arrangements are worked out every single day in p4p so why not for you?

GaGambler 273 reads
posted
8 / 18

It's true, Check out the Chicago Board a few months ago and he was doing exactly back.

You've got your work cut out for you this time.

JackDunphy 227 reads
posted
9 / 18

I really wonder sometimes.  

Just when you think you hit rock bottom with some of these mathematical geniuses, a new one appears on the scene and crashes into the ocean floor.

some-guy 6 Reviews 244 reads
posted
10 / 18

I give the lady what I believe the market bears out.  

And if I need to pay significantly more than a lady's advertised rate in order to get similar quality elsewhere, then I might overpay on occasion -- or rather "tip generously." This has the added benefit of helping her to be lower-volume during our days together. Either way, it is a matter of me preferring to pay closer to what I believe to be the lady's fair market value to be.

But enough of the semantics. The reality is that the economies have now changed. Flipped actually. And in order to get similar quality, I am NOW in a position where I don't need to pay nearly as much. Market value has changed. So, just as in the previous situation, I am posing the question of adjusting the pay to reflect true market value. Or at least to be closer to it.

JackDunphy 244 reads
posted
11 / 18

One can not pay the "what the market will bare" AND "pay significantly more than the advertised rate." That is a non sequitur extraordinaire. The two statements are diametrically opposed.

And you have no idea if it helps her being "lower volume" so you can stop that nonsense too. Maybe she fks 9 other guys that day. Maybe zero. You have no way of knowing

some-guy 6 Reviews 239 reads
posted
12 / 18

y natural instinct is to just say "what the hell is there to even think about?" ... and just roll with it.

For me in my current position, the SB's asking price is almost trivial. From her position, I represent sort of a compromise between a traditional relationship and a purely financial one.  

So she basically has two other options: 1) Shoot for a higher allowance; which means she most likely settles for someone older or less attractive, more desperate. 2) Go for a traditional relationship. Maybe find someone she likes only slightly more than me, and get no financial compensation.

Either one of those scenarios I would be totally fine with, and I would wish her the best of luck. It's happened to me twice before, and while it was a little inconvenient to go through the whole process again ... I eventually found a replacement. Might even say I upgraded. :-) So when I say that this is what the market is bearing out for me, I'm taking it all in to account and viewing all options as commodities more less -- as heartless as that sounds.

Now why even consider talking to the provider? Well, I guess it would just be on the off chance that maybe I could fall within the same category as I do with my SBs? I don't think it would be preposterous to think that my provider's position might be "I enjoy seeing him just enough to where his lowered asking price might still be worth my while when all other factors are weighed." Meaning if it's just 3 or 4 hours out of her week, and the other options she might do with those hours would include either hanging out with a slightly hotter guy and not getting paid, or getting paid more to hang out with an older/fatter dude with ED and thinning hair.

I mean ... when you break it all down, we're all people and we all have to make the same kinds of decisions about our time, don't we

BigPeterJohnson 38 Reviews 182 reads
posted
13 / 18

good advice, alyson.

i have two atfs.  they both have similar rate cards for the public.

however, they both give me the exact same special rate for the time i see them.  they arrived at this rate independently of each other (i don't think they've even met).

they both gave me a super special rate for a 4 hour dinner date, that came within a mere $50 of each other's quote.

then i asked both about a weekend in santa barbara.  one quoted me a figure that was well over twice of the other's.

i thought at first i would try to negotiate with the lady who quoted the higher price, explaining that my other atf charges the exact same as her in every other way, but wanted the much less X amount for the weekend.

then i thought about it, and thought:  yeah.  then i'll take a big shit in my bed and piss all over my dinner, and tell my next employer what an asshole he is on the first day of work.

don't spoil what you have.  enjoy it or move on.  neither one of these girls are your gf, and can drop you at a moment's notice.  it's a right to work state of mind.

some-guy 6 Reviews 206 reads
posted
14 / 18

One cannot simultaneously pay fair market value AND significantly overpay.

That is the foundation behind this thread.

Question is what to do about it, if anything?

some-guy 6 Reviews 195 reads
posted
16 / 18

Even though it makes sense to me in my mind, there is just no way of explaining it to someone in a way that doesn't come across as me being a giant dick! :-) Probably because I am being sort of a dick.

The sad part about it, at least for me ... is that she is amazing and I will really miss seeing her. That's all. Sad face. :-(  No other way to say it -- no way of getting around it.

It's a great problem to have though. :-)

GaGambler 177 reads
posted
17 / 18

There is no "nice" way of saying what the OP is wanting to say, which is "reduce your rate to the same rate as my SB if you want me to keep seeing you"  

Even if she would have seen him absolutely for free before his asking, the moment those words came out of his mouth, no matter how sugar coated he tried to deliver the message, I agree that the most likely response would be "Go Fuck Yourself

earthshined 203 reads
posted
18 / 18

to an escort or SB for anything at all.

I'm always surprised how often this question comes up.

 
Posted By: AlysonParker
If by cut her loose you mean just stop seeing her, then why not? If what you're getting from the SB is of the exact same quality as your ATF at a much lower rate and you'd prefer to save money, then just stop booking appointments with your ATF. That way when things get weird or go south with your SB, as they so often do, or you just get bored with her, you can go back to your ATF without having burned a bridge.  
   
 I would advise not trying to re-negotiate terms with your ATF. No one likes to be told that they are no longer of the same value to someone they've been intimate with, regardless of whether or not that intimacy was transactional. I mean, how would that conversation go?  
   
 "Hey, you've been really good to me and I love spending time with you. You're hot and good in bed. But there's another girl who is also hot and good in bed and she charges for unlimited time what you charge for an hour. Can you do the same or better? Otherwise I won't see you anymore."  
   
 Or what if a provider said to you:  
   
 "Hey, you've been really good to me and I love spending time with you. But my time is starting to be limited and there's another client who is just as good as you but he tips very well and/or leaves before his time is up and lets me keep the full donation. Can you do the same or better? Otherwise I won't see you anymore."  
   
 The appropriate response to both of those questions would be "Go fuck yourself".  
   
 If you don't want to see your provider anymore at the terms you agreed to, then just don't see her anymore. But it shouldn't be her responsibility to lower her standards to compete with another woman.  
   
 As an aside, there are so many intangibles - boundaries not being the least of them - that go into providing that comparing it to sugaring isn't a fair match. Sugaring might work great for some people - it sounds like it does for you - but while it *is* sex work, it is very different from what we do. There's a lot of emotional labor and other unseen, but very much felt, aspects to this work that clients enjoy but don't necessarily notice...which is kind of the point. We make it awesome for you without you ever realizing all of the work that goes into making it so.  
   
 And if you think your friendship with your sugar baby is "actual" - and it very well might be - tell her you've hit a bump financially because of the holidays and you'd like to see her but you can't provide anything for your next couple of meetings. If she's actually your friend, that should be ok, right?  
   
 This young lady might be different, but I just had two friends tell their (now former) SB's that the money faucet was either getting turned off or slowing down and they got told to go to hell and the girls' SA profiles were reactivated and updated in less than 24 hours. One had even told her SD that she was madly in love with him and had been writing him love songs/poems/etc.  
   
 Just some food for thought.

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