So I will choose the one that does things because I like it.

It means she is teachable.

Not everyone's born an expert, I'm sure she can improve her techniques as long as she is willing to.

Which is the better provider:

The one that gives a great BJ because she loves it or the one that gives a great BJ because she knows you love it?


Discuss.


Bonus question:  Which would Kant have chosen?  (JG - I know you know the answer, so don't give it away just yet.)

may be a tough call for me, but I can tell you which I would enjoy more: the provider who loves it. I am very turned on by a woman becoming sexually excited.


HH

The one who says she loves it could be lying just because she knows YOU love it.  

It seems like I get a great BJ either way so I'm OK with that...

...argument to be made for each one. Knowing she loves it is a turn on. Knowing she is doing it for me is a turn on. Since the result is the same I can't say one is better than the other. I know for a fact the bj is a great one, I'm the one receiving it. I can't know for a fact what her motivations are.

...as for the bonus question. I have no idea.

I'm not sure about providers, but in real life I'd personally go with #1.

I really have never understood why someone would like giving BJs in and of itself, and so I believe that if someone likes giving BJs it isn't so much the act as the effect, and so it is self gratifying to the giver as a way of affirming her own effectiveness and perhaps even power. In closer relationships, she may simply enjoy providing you pleasure for emotional reasons.

Actually, #2 in many cases is likely a part of #1. She loves giving you BJs because she knows you love it!  It's sort of like you love giving someone something that you know will please them.

over the years and most of these ladies have been at least a "9" (scale to 10) in the quality of BJ given.  I also enjoy giving the lady some oral pleasure as well.  At this time of year it is often said that it is more blessed to give than receive.

Our talks are so much more relaxing. Now you gotta go and fill my head full of shit and make my pickled brain think for a change. We don't like change. Change is bad.  

Jamming to EC. No, not that EC...!

Few pleasures mean as much as having some drinks and listening to GOD!

-- Modified on 12/28/2011 9:00:31 PM

its a power trip, plain and simple

Lina

there must be balance, so the john must drink pineapple juice and the hooker must swallow and like it.  then, world peace...

I’m actually agreeing with JG but he appeared to make the assumption that the woman in case #1 is also making sure she is pleasing the man. I will make a case where she might not always be giving the greatest pleasure.

First off, since you said both blow jobs were "great" then of course it really doesn’t matter, as long as they are both equally great for me, but remember that here we are only talking about those two specific blow jobs. But that’s really not what you asked. You asked which provider is better.

My assumption is different from JG’s and my potential problem is this: A woman who is giving a BJ simply because she loves doing it is then performing the act primarily to please herself. She is more likely to use methods that she prefers; methods that are great for her. Some of these techniques from time to time may not be go great for me and getting her to change up in order to please me could possibly be difficult. So it is likely to be a great BJ only some of the time.

The provider that is giving a BJ primarily to please me has a much greater chance of success (for me). I compared your two cases to my own DATY preferences. I perform oral on a woman because it pleases her. When she gets very turn on then I get very turned on. When she thoroughly enjoys my DATY I am pleasing myself. If a woman does not enjoy receiving oral I would rather she tell me so up front rather than fake it for me. If she’s not going to enjoy it and I can tell then I’d rather not waste my time.

"The better provider is the one that gives a great BJ because I love it." This is such a clear case of analytic a priori knowledge that the other two propositions must be rejected. Our mind provides the categories of space and time in which BJs occur and the sensibilities with which it is evaluated.

Both "the one that gives a great BJ because she loves it" and "the one that gives a great BJ because she knows you love it" are synthetic propositions whose epistemological foundations are not as firm as as the analytic a priori. In both cases they are also synthetic a posteriori statements which can only be tested empirically after the fact. The alternative proposition I prose is analytic a a priori and therefore independent of empirical observation. It's truth is immediately evident to any rational mind.

Kant's Categorical Imperative requires that BJs be administered and received with the maximum degree of enjoyment on both the giver and receiver parts. If not then the fundamental premise of the BJ (i.e. its enjoyment) is completely undermined and BJs would be deprecated into extinction. So in a world in which the giver and receiver are both acting under the Categorical Imperative and enjoyment is maximized for both: the final analysis leaves the judgement of the supreior BJ to be the one I like best.

Short story: The better provider BJ is the one I like best.

While the discussion has been insightful I feel that my observations over time may also be.  The BJ is something I have had great fun with.  I have found ways to be creative with it and truly find it to be a very kinky act.  But it really depends on the receiver on whether it is going to be a great bj or not.  While reading one of the responses it said that if she were doing it because she enjoyed it she may use methods she prefers rather than what he likes.  I disagree.  It's all about how you react to what I'm doing.  If I feel you strengthen then I know I found a spot you like.  If I feel you go into a thrusting pattern then I know I found a sweet spot you really like.  There are many more things a man does that say good job with his body.  What I find a complete turn on is the temperature of his cock.  It may sound funny but you boys can get really hot down there and if your rock hard and hot I know your enjoying what I'm doing.  But there has been times that he has been the "cold fish" and I can't get any body language telling me I'm on the right track.  Or he just doesn't know how to receive a bj.  The latter happens on occasion and I find myself a little perplexed by it.  I find that he is enjoying himself but the quality of the bj suffers simply because he isn't receiving well.  Does that make sense to any of you guys?  If so what do you suggest the provider do to help the hobbyist receive the full benefits of the bj?

It is hard to match the enthusiasm of a lady who really enjoys giving the BJ. While she may be pleasing herself, many times it includes enjoying the effect she has on the guy. Thus, she will try to do what pleases him.

Actually, I'm giving the whole class an A (even you too MP!), for tackling this in the spirit it was offered:  To put some thought into this most important of subjects.

Claudius correctly points out the Kantian DICK-tum that is relevant and does not confuse it with issues of morality (Whereby the provider who performs for the man's pleasure is the more moral one.)  A disctinction that is often lost in debates on similar subjects.

In the words of the great professor Spooner:  You're all shining wits!

Thanks also to JG for his insights and cooperation.

YEP .......100% YOU GET IT !!!
Learned from your statement so I must return the favor - glad to do so !

" I find that he is enjoying himself but the quality of the bj suffers simply because he isn't receiving well ". That's the issue I am working on right now - trying to just let go , relax and ENJOY !

My reason is I am a giver , I want to be seeing and hearing you being pleased by ME - it's a huge turn on !!!  It makes me feel more of a man so to speak . Boost's my ego and confidence to know I can get you squirming around .

I am getting better receiving each time . I turned the issue around and thought " Maybe she enjoys going down on me for the EXACT same reason I like going down on her ". If that's the case , then damn it , sit back and enjoy my friend - plenty of time to take care of her , PLENTY .

"If so what do you suggest the provider do to help the hobbyist receive the full benefits of the bj? " Reading HIS reviews of other ladies contains TON's of useful ammo for you to use against him on ALL aspects of the date ! If he is descriptive of his likes and dislikes in a previous review , then you have all the info you need . As just a guy being a guy ...........Hate the immediate DT !!!  Worship and tease just the head for a minute or two , then pick up intensity as  he gets into it . Those first two slow minutes hints that she might actually like this  You want me to dive south on you and just start going to town ? A little teasing is usually welcomed by all !
EYE CONTACT = the feeling a lady gets when she gets flowers and a card on valentines day
A lady looking me in the eye with some verbal suggestions .............Whoa there nelly !!!

Honestly, I don't care if she likes it or not.  It's about ME!  Either way I'm getting my dick sucked!!  If I DATY well would my partner wonder if I like it or not?  She should just be enjoying the ride

... I just sort of figured providers do it for *money*. LOL

Discuss.


Bonus question:  Which would Kant have chosen?  (JG - I know you know the answer, so don't give it away just yet.)