Recently I found out my fiancé sees escorts.  Or of course now that I caught him he is "done", lol.  But yeah, enjoys them based in his reviews.  

Not that I care you used an alias. Who would find out your real handle? ... and who would they tell?

Maybe he gets a rush from forbidden fruit.

Possibly throw a bone in you before I could give you an honest answer.

Your fiancé is bored with you. There could be nothing wrong with you. You could be a drop dead gorgeous lady. You could be smart and gentle, but is just tired of the same pussy night after night after night. He wants variety.  

He has a penis, the means, and the opportunity.  It's not just your guy.  A lot of guys with phenomenal wives and GFs still have sex with other women because they are wired differently than women.  We like security.  Men like variety.  But maybe you should appreciate that if he's gonna cheat, he's doing it with escorts because the chances are more slim that it'll go beyond a business relationship.  Good luck :0

in this day and age..infidelity reigns supreme..

She lives it, she should be able to learn from her experiences.

and in the very unlikely event that you are even a woman, much less a cheated upon fiance, men are pigs and most of us want to fuck everything that moves, some of us (not me of course) are just better at repressing those urges.

Half of the excitement is meeting a new face and the other, sexors.

Self loathing men masturbate.

It really does not matter how hot, how skilled, or how "there" you are for a man, most will still cheat. You are also correct that the women are rarely ever better in bed or better looking than the wife... they are just different.  

Why hasn't Macgranddaddy liked your post yet?

1. An outright troll
2. The wife hobbyist who scheduled her husband now having regrets (cannon home 1)
- she wrote long well written pieces like this too
Very unlikely to be legit.

And now you're really pissed that you overpaid for some piece of ass  LOL

drip..drip..drip..

I'm not talking gay, or bisexual. What keeps a monogamous man from cheating, provided he has the opportunity? I don't think a man with a high sex drive will stay monogamous.

She lol'd about him cheating

-- Modified on 2/24/2014 8:28:08 PM

Their DNA is not like that, yes, they get married, have kids etc, but they still want to experiment, romance, feel and touch other women. Why escorts? because we offer the less complicated, no strings attached option compared to others in the real world, who are needy, clingy, jealous and a time bomb if they fall for your guy. It has nothing to do with love, care, affection or any other feeling in the planet that you can call, it has to do with hormonal, physical and mental needs that yes, you also fulfill. Is not necessarily about the actual act, is the fantasy, the variety, the excitement, the anticipation of being intimate with someone for the first time. Being with an escort is like opening a beautiful present on Christmas, you are eager and excited to see what is in it but it may not be necessarily your favorite gift ever. Reason why, guys obviously never want to hurt their wives in any shape or form because they treasure them "as the best present they ever encountered" and want to keep the stability and the  emotional connection whether is companionship, friendship, kids etc.  
I understand you are hurt, confused and have doubts, but I would be intensively worried if he actually was emotionally attached to another woman.  Typically, that doesn't happen with us.

Glad you finally figured out who what you are master leaker.  

Trust me we have not been laughing about this.  But the idea that he could so easily tell me he's done for good is laughable.  You don't just walk away from this lifestyle.

(un)fortunately I feel like us men are programmed like that.  Sure thing I know there's a thing like love, but love fades out.  I can't say completely fades for it might just diminish for a while or never come back.  Now what comes over and over again is that desire for sex, personally once I get a girl a couple of times I feel like she loses value, or to put it friendlier, I get the need to test new waters so to speak.  It's like that Jay z song when he says "I was just fuckin them girls, I was gon' get right back".  I guess you got to cath them all.

Let's stipulate for the moment you are telling the truth, in that case I would have to agree with you that he isn't sorry, and he is highly unlikely to quit. He is only sorry he got caught, and most likely will only get better about how to cover his tracks. TER if you hadn't noticed is a great resource for anyone looking to cover his tracks.

Seriously dude, I'm saying this as your TER buddy, you've been stalking her and bullying her for the past few days.  What she did was deceptive, I don't approve of it either but your constant obsession with her does concern me.  

Since sex isn't an factor. Even if you only have sex with your SO, it's not the same as hook-up sex. That's sex.

Thanks.  If you guys care too much I'll use a non-alias, if it really doesn't keep anymore privacy who cares.  I don't want to be harassed or teased for being a scorned fiancé, the situation sucks as is without all that, but I did sign up for it.  I doubt that takes away the "this is a troll" element either.  

pm me.

Somehow I don't believe that we're "buddy's".....but once I get that PM to my alias we might be  LOL

Your post is BS. You are a troll. You expect us to believe you just discovered that your fiance has been seeing escorts, then you discovered TER, signed up, and paid for VIP to boot and then selected an alias so you could post this?

My reading comprehension must not be as good as I had once thought.

I do it because I love sex, like strange, and I have an open marriage. Before we had an understanding my wife cheated on me. The lies hurt more than the cheating itself. I came to accept my wife was not capable of monogamy. Truth be told I am happier now things are in the open. I wish you well if your not a troll. You.have some choices to make. Stay and know he will not be faithful and know he is capable of lying to you. Best knowing this to come to an understamding like my wife and I. Or leave and best not to look back. All the dwelling on it will do is bring more pain, make you hate him and make you mistrust men. Not all men cheat. I have never been unfaithful.

Well I might have phrased it that way but that is caked in irony.  And a little bitterness.

Not when you've got Steve.....book 'em Danno  

She wrote some reviews.

I did read the whole post. Everything that happens after you were made aware of his behavior, is on you.

Just about every person that posts reviews and comments on this board is.  I freely admit I am.  Is it a problem?  To an extent just like all addictions are.  Do I exercise self control?  You bet I do, 90% of the time.  I of course regret the 10 %. Your husband feels remorse at his actions which is one of the telltale signs he is an addict.  Does he have more than 12 reviews per year?   He is an addict that has some self control.  There are guys here who put up 12 reviews a month.  They are pathological addicts.  At some point there will be a guy who comes on and says good bye and makes a deal out of his leaving the hobby.  Addict.  The hobby is a very addictive lifestyle because an active and varied sex life is actually healthy for you.  That's why sex addictions are as difficult to overcome as heroin.  In some cases more so.  It's all about the endorphins that are released naturally during an orgasm.  They are naturally released instead of artificially as is the case with drug use.  

Some guys are born with the need to notch the headboard as often as possible, & as many as possible.  Some guys like to play the field.  I can't explain it because I'm not one.  

As much time as I spend here, I might be a TER or Fuckboard addict, but although I am a giant horndog and see a lot more than 12 providers in an average month, i don't consider myself an addict as I don't regret any of my behavior, nor do I believe I am harming myself or anyone else by my indulging in having sex with a lot of women. Nor will I make a big deal out of leaving the hobby whenever I find true love, I have taken many a hiatus from P4P over the last ten years without making a big deal out of it on the boards, whenever I am in a committed relationship I don't see other women, when I am not in a relationship I see as many women as my appetite warrants. Just because I like sex, and I act on those desires doesn't make me an addict,  

The examples I stated are a very minuscule list of the features of addiction.   The basic definition includes the persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control.   Another is that a great deal of time and effort is spent in obtaining.  12 hookers a month you say?  Giant horndog you say?  Trips to CR a couple times a month you say?  I have no credentials or desire to diagnose you.  Just saying you may want look at it from a different angle from time to time.

. . .100% is pretty rare.  I am going to assume you are real, just because it doesn't hurt anything to assume so, except for the half hour or so I give up to write this.  

If everyone finds out that Jinxies babble is bullshit then all the shrinks will have no clients.

Basically, it says men are wired to spread their seed as widely as possible.  So one can look at the desire for many sexual partners as simply fulfilling our genetic predisposition.
It's also worth considering other ways of defining addiction, such as, is it disrupting other aspects of the person's life?  Is it affecting others around him? Etc.
So what if we "horndogs" are simply doing our genetic job and harming no one while doing it?  I'm not married, have the time and disposition to do it  but can go several weeks without, simply by choice.  At other times I've been with nine different women in as many days.
Sometimes we just don't fit a cookie-cutter description.

because my behavior is not having the slightest negative effect on my life. I can certainly afford it, and why is fucking a dozen different women an addiction when fucking the same woman a dozen times in the same time frame would be considered perfectly normal. I have sex with about the same frequency when in a relationship as when whore mongering, Why should I let someone else's opinion about whether or not I have an "addiction" influence my life.

Its simple, the same reason a dog licks his own dick, because he can.

What you've been reading here had some truisms. All truths exist in a context.

Sex addicts do.

After I put up that reply, I thought to myself "Shit some guy who sees a lot of escorts is probably going to comment.  Who could that be?  GaG".  I Lol'd when you actually responded, so I couldn't resist.  Actually sex addiction is a real diagnosis as things like nymphomania and satyrism, but you are right, it does have to be somewhat disruptive to be a pathological problem.   Otherwise who would go see a doc about it?   I mean smoking, though not very healthy, isn't a problem either until you start coughing blood.  All things in moderation to your own tolerance level is the way to go, which seems to be how you do it, so no worries and no beef from me.

Too bad its a gay little bitch instead of a hot psychologist lady.  Ah well such is life...

You are new to all this yet you refer to us as "hobbyists". You realize that's a tell, right?
You just found out your BF is fucking around so you turn to a bunch of guys with the morals of a cat in heat and women of negotiable virtue for straight answers. Really?
You think people in good relationships don't see escorts? Have you watched even an hour of Showtime or HBO recently?
For the grand finale, you find out your betrothed has been having sex with prostitutes and your calm, level headed and emotion free response is to come here and seek enlightenment and understanding. You must be from Vulcan cause there ain't no way any Earth woman would do some shit such as that.

When it's really not about you, it's about him.  

If we take both your words at face value, Jinx tard suffers from a dysfunctional emotional response to his behavior (the 10% regret) while you do not. You seem to engage in sexual activity that does not cause you emotional or social distress, financial burden, escalating behaviors, or other adverse consequences. You have been able to sustain this for years and apparently can alternate with conventional relationships fluidly and again without endorsing distress. Your functional sexual norm is to engage in satisfying highly polygamous relationships with (albeit illicit) financial gain for your counterparts.  

Jinx Tard's favorite (only really) ad hominem comeback is that hobbyists (mind you, men who have sex with ladies) are gay.
Methinks the lady protests too much.  

That you don't know that girl from EVE, not from Adam. You would've liked Eve. She was reptilian friendly.

... to remain monogamous? it defies natural logic.

Women seek out men who they feel will be the best provider. Best provider-- funny how that word has opposite meanings here. Like a fishmonger is someone who SELLS fish, and a SEX MONGER is a guy who BUYS... But I digress.

Thanks for the free diagnosis doc.  But the 10% regret I was talking about can be found in one of my reviews that was like a 2 or something.  Look it up. It's actually a pretty funny story.  My friends here occasionally bring up "Yeti Girl" just to raz me.   That was regretful both emotionally and financially to me.  But still pretty fucking funny.   I freely admit I'm a sex addict.  So your little attempt at an insult was, well, gay.  But we all have come to expect that from you, though, so no big deal.  Now for your lame ass retort that we all know is already forming in that pretty little head of yours...

Even your lame ass psycho analysis of me is looking pretty fucking gay stalkerish.  When are you just going to find the right board to post on.  This one sure doesn't fit you.

The last time, you learned the rhetorical straw man isn't made of straw and isn't a man. Lol.  

After seeing what Ted Haggard went through, you must be conflicted.
That and the sex addiction guilt. Tough stuff.

There has never been any proof of a genetic prerogative for mans desire for multiple partners, but it sure looks like polygamy is ingrained into our lizard brains.  You have to consider that we were a very primitive species with a lot of challenges to our survival for hundreds of thousands of years.  We've only been "modern" for a few thousand tops.  It was imperative to have as many pregnant women as possible and men, who were outside the cave in the danger zone of hunting and competing with very large and mean predators like the saber tooth and dire wolf, were fairly disposable.  So, few men, many women, desperate times call for desperate measures.  Just be happy Fred and Barney were up to the challenge.

If I were to enter into a relationship outside the hobby with a woman who loved me enough to marry, and vice versa, I would walk with her into the sunset...

I meant to compare the fishmonger as a SELLER to a WHOREMONGER as a buyer. Above I said sex monger. Odd term.

You are really losing it with this train wreck of a reply.  Just calm down.  I know you're sensitive and upset after the sobbing phone call from CCPA.  I'll leave you two alone now.  I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.

There are reasons I feel the OP is written by a woman which we'll skip, so is she truly a damsel in distress or is she a writer garnering material of is she an escort throwing this out because... What? She wants to see how we'll respond?

I've given my opinion on why you cannot successfully REPLACE the hobby in your lover's heart and his life. I should end here, maybe adding, Better luck next time.

You're a writer and not a very stealthy one.  Your post bored the snark out of me, however, the replies were for the most part, fascinating.  

"Daddy Cheats Because You Cry"

What is a "highly polygamous relationship," and how does one "engage in satisfying it?"

LMAO... no VIP here but Lydia, let's show him. I will cook for you, draw you a bubble bath, and have fresh chocolate covered strawberries and champagne by the bath as I wash your hair.  You know your man aint all that bwaahhaah.

Truly, that must suck.  

That's funny that you reference smoking as it was the only real addiction I ever had, with the possible exception of casino gambling which did become a problem at various times in my life. I would rank smoking as my only real addiction as it was a habit I couldn't "manage" I was a "smoker" plain and simple, but keeping with my personality, I just simply quit one day over twenty five years ago after being a pack a day smoker for almost 20. No patches, (they didn't even exist back then) no tapering off, no "i will quit in a week" one day I woke up and decided that smoking was a nasty habit that most likely would kill me some day and I quit right then and there. I haven't smoked again since, not even once.

Or maybe you have been watching too many episodes of "The Mentalist"???

I can tell you with almost 90 percent certainty, it will happen again which is why I would never date a hobbyist. Men who find out about this life and how easy it is to get sex when you even do the smallest thing to bruise that fragile ego, rarely ever quit. They quit for a while, then you gain weight, have a surgery, have a baby, and they are right back here until you can fk them 100 percent. Even then, some men will still cheat.

It is not you. He still loves you and probably still wants to marry you, and spend the rest of his life with you. Me n just NEED variety. No matter how hot and gorgeous a woman is, there's somebody out here that is tired of banging her. Its just the way it is.

The power thing is a good point.  I didn't really consider it before.

He did it years ago on a different site ( San Fran based).  Told me about that, so at least he's being honest.  Then he stopped for like 5 years and started again literally right after I bought a house and he moved in.  Then another gap... Until he ramped it up after he proposed.  

If she is in fact the fiance of this guy, a search of his handle she already knew about, found TER, registered, add CC to buy VIP and do another search of the review database. Not hard at all. look at all the guys that managed to do it.  

Why bother getting married? Sure kids, but in the long run they get caught, divorce and voila, broken home. I will never marry, I get bored too easily. I know that and will not put someone through that.  

I truly cannot comprehend anyone even having the thought why do men have sex with other women...especially the fact that the person asking is usually a Christian, a bible believer,  a God follower of some sort.....
The simple truth, God created man to procreate, simple! The woman spends 9mths nurturing the seed.
God did not create man to think before he chooses to poke, there were no rules put in man's brain that says he is to have a big expensive ceremony before he can do his poking!
God did not say Adam go be fruitful & multiply, oh by the way, make sure you earn enough money that you can afford to take care of this female, make sure you have her father's permission before you go poking, nor did God say "Adam before you can multiply this earth, you must seek out a female court her for a period of hmmm.... 3dates, then put an expensive ring on her finger & spend another, hmmm few mths being faithful, not poking any other females, waiting for the big day of an expensive ceremony.....finally Adam after you do all that then you can poke that female & multiply this earth.
So this question of why men poke other women, is something that I just cannot clearly ever comprehend...

I'm pretty sure you didn't read any of my post.  We aren't prudes, we aren't Christian, and I've never pushed full monogamy.  I did want honesty and he knew I did.   The discussion of picking up a girl in Vegas has happened.  When we found out our friends were swinging, we discussed that lifestyle.  He expressed no interest.  I was open to trying it.  He thought it was just "too many people" to focus (our friends often were with more than just one other couple at a time).

That's actually not so frequent as compared to many of the regulars you'll find here. After two years, he's still pretty new to the game and may not have gotten the "kid in a candy store" phase out of his system. I bet he can rein it in, but if he feels caged in the relationship he'll look for any opportunity to skip out. If he's a decent guy, then he'll be willing to compromise; you just have to accept that a little strange is an important part of his erotic imagination, and if you can live with that you can negotiate some parameters that both of you can live with.    

"Men who don't cheat abstain because they can't or don't have enough juice in their balls?" NO honey, it's called SELF control, not makng excuses, and not being SELFISH. My brother has never cheated on a GF, and there is nothing wrong with him physically, nor is he in church every Sunday. He is also a good looking guy who can get laid if he chooses to do so, but he views women as more than just a nut.  
"God did not create man to think before he pokes?" Oh, really? Then why don't ALL mean fk everything that moves if that is the case? You basically just said God created men without brains and the ability to think for themselves. If a crack addict can put down the pipe, a guy can control his d*ck. It has nothing to do with what we are biologically made to WANT not NEED. No one has died for lack of sex.  

The problem is that the erotic imagination is rarely rational, and as much as he wants to indulge in it, he's probably having a hard time letting go of the sexual mores of our culture at large. It's a similar mindset as the kind of person who won't admit to jerking off to nasty porn, although practically everyone does. He can't objectify you in the way he can with a hooker.  

If you want to talk hierarchy of needs, I think sex would come right after water, shelter and food (in that order). Without the first three you'll die. Without the fourth, you'll want to die.

Okay.

There are other ways to find solace than with your d*ck. Many other men have found it. I am not much for Psychology 101. The more in depth courses were a much better representation of what the mind can do when the body is trying to control it. Change your thoughts, change your life.  

Get used to it.  
If you have him for 30 fucks a month, don't complain about the one he has elsewhere.

Men and women are not wired differently when it comes to wanting variety, and quite frankly I HATE that line of reasoning. And I'm not the only one who feels that way. Daniel Bergner wrote a phenomenal book called "What Do Women Want?" (see link below) And his research points to women, in some ways, being less inclined to monogamy than men are.

"Even if he truly believes it has ended, and even of he can employ willpower, I worry that he will come to resent me if he gets the urge again and doesn't act on it because of me"

I would, and as an experiment to see of I can handle it I've proposed he start again now.  If he's going to start again I'd rather he do it now while I am still processing.  I don't want to get over it, believe it's over and then have everything open up when he starts up again in a few weeks/months.  And again, believing it will ever end seems so naive and stupid, but understand how tempting it is to believe it can happen.  I don't consider myself naive or gullible, but if I want to believe badly enough I might trick myself into being gullible.

You're misrepresenting something big about your intentions.  
Hopefully you get something out of this other than wasting others' time.

As I go through all of my emotions and get down and disappointed in myself for not handling this well, I am reminded that a bunch of men on an escort message board think I am behaving so calmly and rationally I can't possibly be real.    

Use you head. Just think about it... Then think about it while perusing your ATF's website.

Lydia, TELLING him to go get it elsewhere is probably the FASTEST way to put a sour taste in his mouth about the hobby-- or ANY form of screwing around. That's a good gambit it the power/control game, BUT in terms of building a loving relationship..? Maybe not so much, IMO.

I've expressed this before, but no one listens.