Let me throw you a bone. Ask for an education session.

Tell them you want to learn to do XY and Z better.

Do that for a first session, then try repeating with said ladies...that should help your confidence a bit. Also, respect the fact that every lady is a bit different, and is going to get off a bit different.

Now all that said, communication should come from you during a session. Its YOUR appointment, and should be what you want it to be. Tell them what your level of expectations are. If they are not down with it, then find the next. Eventually, you will find a few that will get up on your face in an effort to smother you. If that's what your little heart desires.

"Does this feel good? Do you want me to do something different?" Some ladies like certain things done to them while others are just the opposite. Sometimes on a first date I will ask the provider what her boundaries are. Many years ago I was with a lady who didn't like her ears and neck kissed or nibbled; go figure. Each woman is different.

and yes, some will ream you out and tell you that the provider is there to please you, blah, blah, blah.

But if the way a provider can please you is to teach you, then go ahead and ask for it. It's not about wanting to please that particular provider, but about learning if you are doing an ok job, learning to be a competent lover. If you REALLY want to learn, you have to communicate that very, very clearly.

Many providers will hear you ask the question "how am I doing?" and think that you want a compliment. They'll say "yeah, baby, that's great, you're the best". It's up to you to make them understand beforehand that you really are inexperienced and you really do want to learn. And a lot of providers will enjoy this and won't mind at all giving you pointers and critiquing your performance, but don't expect 100% honesty (most are not going to say "hmmm, you are really lousy at this" if they want return business, no matter how much you say you want the truth

Sethric speaks the truth, finding someone you click with and having repeat engagements is a good way to develop trust and get what you are looking for.

just once

simple solution..you will never know by seeing a lady just once..if you feel you have some sort of connection..see her again and again..the bonds you build up with certain ladies in this hobby are always worth the price of admission..

A sexual surrogate may be a better match for your situation. Its therapy & education - not service, which sets a very different tone.

you will NEVER learn how to read your partner based on just one encounter. it doesn't matter if that woman is a stripper, escort or your virgin wife, you have to put in the time/communication/experience. if you like the idea of sexually pleasing a woman, then you will have to develop a relationship (even just a casual, awesomely sexual one) with a couple of these women, where you see them on a regular basis. only then will you start to learn just what makes her tick, and that only if you are wise enough to choose the right women. because as we all know, some have absolutely no desire or interest in your knowing anything about them, including how to get them off.

you've done a good job.

who job is to strip you of as much money as possible.

A provider is a different story...   First one word of caution...  serial sex with any woman is likely to trigger the post coitus bonding hormones...  Keep close watch on your heart, we don't want you to to swap one problem for another.

I agree, it's very hard to establish a good sexual connection with a single event.  I agree with the suggestion to schedule a relaxed session & tell her you want instruction.  Or guidance.  It is very true that women, like men, are all constructed slightly differently & respond slightly differently...  but if you focus on her & she gives the subtile cues as to what she likes...   an Ooooh.  or Ahhh.  A Humm almost like a purr...    

You are learning & that is a very good thing.  As a younger man...  I only focused on myself.  I've had occasion to question the women years later & they all said good things...  but if I pleased them, I was oblivious!    

I keep in mind...  I do not "GIVE" a woman an O.  She gives it to herself.  But she must be comfortable & trusting of me.   Direct action...  I am the Motor...  but She is the Driver.   I give her the freedom to position her body & to move so it pleases her.   Again, I let her guide me.  

If you get good feedback from a few women, you'll be a confident lover & that is a great boot to the ego.

-- Modified on 10/22/2012 6:20:46 PM

during a session.   But there is a huge opportunity to observe & interact with a woman, to enjoy the pleasuring of one's partner, as well as oneself.   This is a huge confidence builder particularly for the shy or late bloomer.  How often do Virgins ask for our advise?
Lets just say, at some point, the late bloomer gets his shot at an unattached woman...  if he has no experience or is too nervious he may lose the opportunity.  
In colonial days, a young gentleman was taken by a male realitive to a lady to be given is carnal education.   A shame the Puritans seem to have over run our fair land!

Not understanding the wonderful, exquisite, mysterious exactitude composing the nature of femininity seems to be "de rigueur" in our USA culture.

Compared to the risks inherent in sexual exploration with a girl or woman brought up a “good-girls don't do that” culture, behavior out side of what we define as “normal” is deviant unacceptable, “We believe less government is better as long as you believe as we do—if you don't then we'll make what you do illegal.”, seeking education from one experienced in and with being not only sexually stimulated, but also satisfied,  is probably the most effective option.  Hiring a “hands-on” bi-tour guide, plucking the ripest fruit from the tree of knowledge.