For me it's:

Followed very closely by:

" typical two call system"..no shit charlie brown..

Hit three of them Run don't walk gentleman. And treat her right especially after the review gave a blow by blow description of pounding and cim ( im sure that's what really happened anyway )
The who am I to say no. And also she told me she had to have me now ROFL

I think I said "Treat her right, and be rewarded."
Ugh. I should be able to do better than that.
In my defense.. I had no idea how to word a review..
So I copied that saying..

...but I was horny, so I went in anyway.

Doesn't really annoy me, but it's just one of those lines I read often

Awww...Do they watch the Hallmark Channel together while in each other's arms?

Which 9 times out of 10 is hogwash.  

I think those are standard lines in his reviews.

But they do watch the Lifetime channel as well

If that's the case, I hope he didn't pay for a full hour.

The acronyms take the prize here —and I must report that, sad to say, they have made their way into the spoken language of providers.   A few months ago, a provider spoke to me of "DAT-ee,"  and last night I was offered "a C.B.J." —i.e., that is the term she used— by the lady I was visiting.

Honestly, I haven't read any of his reviews because he simply has no credibility with me.

The worst offender: 'In such-and-such agency's stable of girls.'  

and honestly, they are not bad. If I were just to look at them in isolation (not juxtaposed against his asinine posts), I wouldn't mind using them for general guidelines (just like I use other reviews)

really hysterical.

and she reached for a "magnum"  Why can't guys just write she reached for a cover, like regular size guys write. We get it, you're big.  

No need to address non-VIPs imo.

I don't see men under 40 years old....idk just doesn't sound right lol

I like grown ass men lol Miss K

no matter what you guys say lol!!

to match the lady that it is written about. Looking thru my own reviews I didn't like my use of YMMV(two times). Give a review as you see it. YMMV is a cop out. At that point your making excuses for her performance or yours.

Veni vici vidi

Not just guilty but I say it every time! No longer. Thanks

I never really thought about it but after readińg this I realize how terrible I am at writing reviews!!! I'm guilty as charged on a lot of the most hated lines!! At least I have admitted I have a problem, now I must force myself to go see a new lady so I can write another review and change my cliche ways. It's a sacrifice I must make for the good of community!!

All the reviews sound the same.

But I doubt they can afford the hobby -- well, maybe with a PHD in English Literature --

Personally, I've bought into the "details" push more than I wish I had.  You know what my favorite reviews say?  Very, very little.  Flag issues, call out particularly nice aspects of the encounter, and move on.  Mine are shorter than most, but could still stand to lose a lot of exposition.  

Sometimes it's just a pussy, it need not be "opening like a flower" or "tight like a glove" or "sweet like a peach" or any other corny Penthouse Forum metaphor you drag out of the damp recesses of your adolescent lizard brain.  Fewer words is almost always better, IMO.

Reviews serve a useful purpose on both sides of the hobby. Men get a window into what the lady will or won't do, and how accurate her pictures are, etc.  Ladies get the satisfaction of knowing that they are appreciated, and perhaps a bump business.

Reviews serve a useful purpose on both sides of the hobby. Men get a window into what the lady will or won't do, and how accurate her pictures are, etc.  Ladies get the satisfaction of knowing that they are appreciated, and perhaps a bump business.

Learn not to be jealous my child. It can cause stress.

Who actually writes these reviews? They all sound the same but names changed. Are they even real? Sound fake.

-- Modified on 6/4/2013 9:00:25 AM

Certainly not to contribute anything intelligent to the conversation.  Now stop using your Mom's computer to play on the Internet and go back to doing your homework.  Otherwise you will flunk that algebra quiz.

He has nothing else to do, and no one will talk to him for free. It's pretty obvious this troll is just that.

Bromios calls to our attention the idea of reading TER reviews more than one way.  He cites the essentials that make up an ideal review —if you will, the good, the bad, and, if need be, the ugly— but he discounts what amounts, if nothing else, to the entertainment value of what he calls the "little sex stories."

Hey Single!!
  You are officially invited to the SPA.
You gotta get naked though.
Ask them... I'm serious.
The food is really good!

What a welcome reply. PhilAnderz had the rare sense of decorum to use the third person, pointed out something worthwhile, and made me grin.  Well done, Sir.  May our paths cross often -- our swords, never.