No I have not....but now that you mention it...I think I'll stage it so I will get caught sometime...I like the sound of that!😊

When I was about twelve my mom was doing the wash and asked me how the inside of my sock got wet.   I hesitated too long trying to think of a plausible answer and ended up just blushing.  I got the famous mom eye roll.  

I was in my dorm room, and my roommate had classes that afternoon, so I was uh, "looking" at the issue of Hustler that my roommate bought earlier in the week. Suddenly, I hear a key in the door. I frantically try to pull up my pants, hide the lotion and hide the Hustler all at once, and only partially succeeded at all three. My roommate and his girlfriend walk in. He looked at me and knew, but I think she was clueless because I quickly pulled a blanket up and pretended that I was napping. It turned out that he skipped class to hang out with her that afternoon. After pulling my pants all the way up under the covers, I "woke up" and rushed to get to a non-existent class.

Of my life. Lol.  I was a sixteen and it was fairly late at at night.  I was in my room with the lights out doing my daily routine with the little guy in hand.  Surprisingly, the door opens up and hear my mom say, "are you still awake".  The lights come on and in walks two of my friends and three girls.  One of which I had a super crush on.  My friend says, "what the fuck are you doing, spanking your monkey!". I still remember the laughter.  Oh, what I would do to be sixteen again.

My first ex-wife walked into the bedroom and found me wanking it to a Playboy mag (that tells you how long ago). She gave a little squeel and jumped in beside me and then mounted me CG. She was really good about me wanking. Sometimes, she would leave me to it and others she would join in.

So you used your sock as a condom to protect who from getting "knock up"? Yourself?? Sorry to say but you mom, while rolling her eyes was probably thinking, "Ay dios mio, que pendejo"....lol

Have you, pool lady?

And shame me about it. At least I never got caught  using my Playboys for it.

that I can remember..
I do remember my Mom finding my Playboys between my
mattress and box springs when I was about 13 or 14..
She said you wait til your daddy gets home..Oh god..I thought I was dead!
He never really made a big deal out of that..he did scold me in front of Mom.
But he now had my Playboys and his eyes surely did light up when he saw those..lol

I just remembered I left my Playboys under my mattress in the bed I had when I was 12.

Lexi   There are a lot of mental images burned into my mind I wish I could forget.  I hope I can retain the image you describe for a long time.  bigdell

was asked once by a smart ass member of our weekly poker group...Hey SCB, do you masterbate? with a shit eating grin on his face....I looked at him and calmly replied.."Do you mean today?"   The look on his face....

My afternoon class had been cancelled so I went back to the dorm early. I didn't expect my roommate until hours later. My magazine was Penthouse. I was climaxing when I heard a key in the door. As my roommate and his girlfriend walked in, I moved in a flurry of two-handed bumbling; rolling onto my side, facing away from the door and spurted onto my shirt. At the same time one hand pulled the magazine under me as the other grabbed a quilt and wrapped myself in it, all in one motion. I pretended to be asleep as my cock kept pumping. She whispered to him 'lets go someplace". They left and I laid there until I was sure they were gone. When I'd gotten dressed I noticed a gob of cum was dripping down the cabinet beside my bed. Later that night my roommate told me my being home early botched his plans to sleep with his GF for the first time.

I accumulated a porn mag collection in my late teens and kept them in a box under my bed. One time, I left for work and quickly realized that I forgot my wallet. I drove back home and ran up to my room to grab my wallet, startling my dad who was grabbing a magazine from the box. Awkward, but I pretended that I was in too much of a rush to notice. We never talked about that moment, ever.

Oh my gosh I have been caught masterbating more times that you would imagine possible.  
I was shooting private collection solo clips and actively web camming and I would randomly see a good esthetically pleasing location for a quick video... I once got a request for a solo video with double penetration in the car.
I parked on a good quiet location and started getting into it... three minutes into a 10 min shoot I reposition myself from laying on my back to sitting up to find a couple mid 20 something year old guys and girl excited beyond belief to have found me and were eagerly trying to get the attention of the rest of their group with non verbals so that they wouldn't chance making noise and being discovered watching me.  
I opened the window and introduced myself to the group. I am kind of an asshole that way I like to own my $hit lol.
I slid my skirt down and waived them over.
They approached with huge smiles on their faces but still looking unsure. Can you imagine walking into a solo double penetration scene lmfao omgsh. Long story short I joked with them and said if they wanted to watch they better pay up first lol

I am surprised the young people didn't ridicule your perversion and car jack your vehicle.