TER General Board

ATF
nyroma052 1120 reads
posted
1 / 9

Since it is hard to get away and travel as business travel isn't something I have to do anymore with working remotely, I would love to see my ATF but she lives/works in another state a few hours away by plane. I have never done a FMTY and she is not someone who offers this. She tends to work in her local city and doesn't tour.

I'm curious if you have any advice on how to offer this (even for only about a 4 hour session due to it being tough to get away at times) to her and how providers typically go about handing these requests from a financial perspective. Do they charge based on individual expenses (ie. flight, hotel, etc.) or a flat fee and what is reasonable to offer?

QueenBia See my TER Reviews 65 reads
posted
2 / 9

She already knows you & hopefully enjoys your company, so it should be asy to fly her to you. Make sure you accommodate her for her traveling. My regulars I give discounts for flying me to them because I know they are taking me out to a very nice dinner date. I am delighted to be wined & dined in another city. Be reasonable & fair when presenting your offer. Let her know the details, so she can make an executive decision. The worst that could happen is she says, “ no thanks.”

holystonethedeck 104 Reviews 79 reads
posted
3 / 9

Just curious - when is the last time you saw her?

 
If you were a regular I see no harm in contacting her and first ascertain if she's willing to do a FMTY. Like QB said, the worst that can happen is that she says NO.  

 
If she confirms that she'll do that for you then you can start to worry about fees. At a minimum, start with her hourly rate x4 and add in hotel and airfare.

mrfisher 115 Reviews 89 reads
posted
5 / 9

and she handles the airfare.   She's stays at my place, so no hotel fee.

 
But I would only do so for a 24 hour date otherwise it is a big investment in time for little hourly gain.

John_Laroche 81 reads
posted
6 / 9

But whether you're making the offer or she is naming her price, remember it's just 4 hours for you,  but a long day or more for her.

nyroma052 67 reads
posted
7 / 9

I saw her in October when I was last in her city.  

I appreciate all of your feedback and advice. This is super helpful and will make it much easier to discuss this with her. Thanks everyone!

Steve_Trevor 77 reads
posted
8 / 9

I had a similar situation years ago, when I’d known my ATF for only a few months. I had to spend a weekend out of town, so on a whim I asked her if she’d fly out to me. I found out she’d never done that before, so she had no set rate. I asked her what she thought was fair, and she charged me her “opportunity cost”, ie how much she probably would have made if she’d stayed home. It was nowhere close to a typical weekend rate, but it’s what she thought was a fair deal for her. And I took care of her flight and all other expenses.  

 
A suggestion: A few hours travel time each way plus 4 hours will be a long day for her. If possible, do this when she can spend the night, and include a nice dinner. That will make the trip more enjoyable for her, and probably for you also. Of course, you have to have the time and money to do it. Maybe you can agree on a rate that’s fair for her and doesn’t exceed your budget.

coeur-de-lion 400 Reviews 67 reads
posted
9 / 9

at which almost any provider will do a FMTY whether she advertises this service or not.  The only question is whether you are willing to pay it.  

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