How much should one's sex drive decrease as one ages?

I'm 29, and I've noticed I have barely at all lately.  I mean, I can still get it up, and I certainly enjoy a good shag as much as the next person--but I just never think about it anymore, and I never get the old fluttery feeling when I see a gorgeous girl anymore.  How much decrease in drive is normal?  What have you all seen as you've gotten older?

Any number of things can be causing your low-libido. Are you really stressed at work, or school, home?
Are you depressed?
How's your overall health? Eat, exercise, and sleep well? Are you overweight? Do you drink, smoke, do drugs?
Have the doc check your thyroid, and of course hormone levels.

Let us know how it works out.

Reiminished sex drive (for the men)

At age 29 you should not be experiencing the type of diminishment that you describe. There may be something medical or psychological (stress, depression, etc.) going on here. Get yourself checked out by your MD. Hell at 58 my drive is as strong as it ever has been only the equipment doesn't respond as fast as it once did. A pretty lady still causes me to pole vault around the room  .

Anecdotal responses from TER members may begin to help you get a handle on your situation, but only a doctor can properly diagnose your individual needs.

If you are under stress, unhappy, depressed, taking certain drugs etc., these things can temporarily alter your sex drive- perhaps even for months.  But the change shouldn't be permanent.  

A "normal" age related reduction in sex drive shouldn't come until much later in life.  I personally didn't notice a change until I was about 48-49.   I'd always had above average testosterone levels (and the sex drive that went with it), but around 46 or 47 I noticed I was experiencing mood swings (uneven temper) that were unusual for me (perhaps male meonpause?).  Then, once my steady mood was re-established, I  noticed a slowing of my sexual response (not entirely a bad thing once you get used to it), most likely the result of my declining levels of testosterone.

Since testosterone levels are the primary determining factor in establishing a person's sex drive (including in women), you may wish to get your hormone levels checked as part of a physical exam.  A provider friend of mine experienced a loss of sex drive, similar to yours, while in her late 30's.  She had her hormones checked, only to find her testosterone level was nearly unmeasurable.  Since she'd had previously been tested and, therefore, had a baseline for comparison, she knew this was the source of her declining interest in sex.  In her case, she had considerably above average levels when younger (probably responsible for her voracious sexual appetite and decision to get into commercial sex work), but for whatever reason they dropped, taking her sex drive with them.

Fortunately, there are a lot of simple treatments these days, ranging from a testosterone patch to supplements, so don't hesitate to get a professional medical opinion and the peace of mind that comes with it.

-- Modified on 11/28/2003 1:21:07 PM

-- Modified on 11/28/2003 1:53:27 PM

On the bright side though you probably are saving tons of cash compared to the rest of us here.

I work out 6 days a week (weights mostly, some cardio and pilates).  Don't smoke, rarely drink, never done any drugs, and I eat right.  I don't have any real stresses (meaning, I know where my next meal is coming from and have a roof over my head).  I'm not depressed--was, but I'm over that.  No medications either.

I just figured I was getting old, heh.  Guess it's time for a check up.  Haven't had one in 5 years or so.

Thanks for the responses everyone.

Reiminished sex drive (for the men)

I'm 76 and I can't get enough women. I wish that you providers would give us old guys a price break. On a fixed income, I have to dig into my savings, not to the point that I'm starving but to the point that I don't know how long my savings will last !!

Some of the providers have specials when things are slow.... how about it ladies, why not cut your rates in half ? We older guys really don't take much of your time, after all most of us can only manage one pop.

Reiminished sex drive (for the men)

.....don't touch your equipment,except to use the bathroom. Do this for a couple of weeks and see how you feel. If you have five-fingers doing the work all the time you might just be spent. hold off for two weeks then see your provider. I did this and I was able to achieve three good blasts in one session in a two hour period and still raring to go.

The key: don't play with your equipment;let her do it. You'll be amazed. Playing with yuour gear is really a childhood habit one should break(if this,indeed,applies),IMHO

now, I can go for that! I will even be happy to present each provider with my AARP membership card. What a hell of an idea! So what do you say gals?

Did you see a Doc? Mood swings, particularly after age 40 could also be related to blood sugar. Hope you checked your sugar levels?
That's how we diagnosed my dad with diabetes many years ago - he had such mood swings@

Things that help reduce the rates are regular visits (have her define her 'regular'), possibly some help with repairs (house, computer, car, etc.) so these things can help.

It isn't necessarily time, and certainly not the number of pops, but often 'risk'.
My rates are as low as they are going to go (posted). Obviously, regulars get a price break and other factors play in when I quote the donation.
But one thing that is often forgotten is 'risk'. There are three major risks:
1) health - STD's
2) safety (physical danger)/ and privacy (discretion)
3) LE (as currently some are confused as to the legalities of hired companionship)

How do you put a price on these?

To reduce too much becomes 'not worth the risk' for many.

Work with the ladies you see and see if you can't work out some sort of arrangement. It doesn't hurt to try.

Hope this helped..

Don't get too excited about not feeling as constantly horny as you did when you were 17.  Are you focusing on other aspects of your life, like work or a career?     Are there other things that are competing hard for you attention?

Your attention to sex move up and down through life.  The big issue is the equpment;  if it it is working to your satisfaction then you aren't in too much trouble.

Lets ask him how many times hes been laid in the past 30 days.
Maybe hes over sexed.

Reiminished sex drive (for the men)

...sorry but this is plain wrong...touch your equipment and enjoy. Levels of testosterone are important but even men with no testicles have a sex drive so there is much more than one hormone that controls this.  I suspect it is something else---perhaps a thyroid condition given your age.  JUST SEE A GOOD DOCTOR!

Reiminished sex drive (for the men)

See a do doctor dude, I'm 43 and have none of those symptoms.

Reiminished sex drive (for the men)

My sex drive in the last ten years has gone up, and it is still going up now in my mid 40s, even more than when I was in my twenties.

I'm 63, but I sure don't feel it in my head and I still get as horny as I did when I was in my 20s. The nicest thing now is that I can last longer. I still love it, and react when I see a gorgeous woman. I'd love to do it every day. So, yes, see a doctor.

Sometimes it is all in the mind. If you think about it too much. or try to force it it just won't happen. Sometimes I find I can lose interest if  a woman talks about disgusting things -- such as my ex -wife's constant diaper-talk.

My handle is an acronym for “Advanced Aquarian Really Partys”

Hi Sedona,

I’ve been an active client of escorts for about 3 years now.  Due to my acting out I’m a newly single “sexual compulsive.”  Since I’m “spiritual but not religious” I give myself nearly 0% chance of change.  I have NO interest ever again hurting a SO.  So I don’t have even the slightest interest in dating.  So, from now on it’s “no strings attached” for me.  In any case…

In those 3 years I’ve noticed that rates have gone up over 50%.  When I started they were in the $200/hr. range and now are in the $300 range and up from there, while my income has remained the same.  Which makes me “Advanced Aquarian Rarely Partys.”  That said, I’ve noticed your own rates are very reasonable given your highly regarded services.  And if I ever get to San Diego…*w*

Yes, I agree that ladies should be well compensated for the risks they take, and each obviously have the right to set rates at whatever level they feel will bring in the most income while at the same time limiting risk.

Here’s an idea, and I would like to get your feedback.  Obviously regular clients present less of a hassel and risk for escorts because they don’t have to go through the time of screening and take on a new physical risk.  Plus, older single gentlemen like me are more likely to be safe, don’t ya think?

Increased demand seems to be the biggest factor in increased rates.  But since risk also seems to be a factor do you feel that escorts would be willing to set lower rates for those mature regulars who see just a limited number of escorts who:

1. Are known to engage in safe practices (such as CBJ or BBBJ without “completion” and no “Greek”) and;

2. Are experienced enough to know how to avoid LE confusion?

In my case, with my fixed income I have $1,000 each month in my party fund.  If I could find 4 safe escorts and rotate between them every week and see each once a month, would that be at least a reasonable argument to ask each to set a rate at $250?  Without their becoming so insulted that they throw me out on my ear?

Or would it just be safer for me to learn how to make web-designs for bartering purposes? j/k (but only slightly).

AARP

I'm in my 40's and I get hard when the wind blows....

“Sexually compulsive” in my case does not reflect paraphilias like exhibitionism, fetishism, pedophilia, voyeurism, S&M, etc.  It doesn't involve seeking out "PSE" with unsafe practices. “GFE” is my thing and I’ve violated the ethical boundaries of my marriage.  I’m in my 50’s and as a result of participation in the “hobby” now have a much stronger sex drive than I’ve ever had.  I’ve continued to be a client of sex workers knowing full well that it might have negative consequences to my marriage and perhaps to my career. Despite multiple attempts to stop I continued on until it did indeed destroy my marriage.  I don’t believe it to be an unusual thing among us “hobbyists.”  I’ve seen the same thing happen to many others over the past three years.  I’m no better or worse than any one else. The difference is that I no longer deny that I have a problem.  I could either enter a 12-step program and engage in years long struggle with my compulsion, or I could simply recognize that I’m now like a bird and sex is the air through which I fly.  The later seems to be the easier thing to do.


-- Modified on 11/30/2003 3:31:22 PM

Finding someone who'll reduce their rates from $300 to $250 should be easy - it's a pretty standard reduction on repeat business. It can go even slightly lower when the business is more 'regular'.
In my glossary, 'repeat' is merely someone I've seen before (could be the second time this year), and 'regular' is someone I see more than once a month. That's my definition - others have their own definition.

Hope this helps..

Reiminished sex drive (for the men)

That doesn't sound right; You may need to see a doctor about it. I have seen some of my older friends (50+) go into "sexual overdrive" lately (and that is without the benefit of Viagra). These guys will try to nail anything that isn't tightly nailed down. Sort of burning the proverbial candle at both ends if you now what I mean. I am much younger but still call be a "two-pop-Pete" with the right gal!