If one looks up "love" in a dictionary, it includes definitions like intense emotional attachment, a feeling of intense sexual desire and attraction, sexual passion and intercourse.  So, given that all of these qualities can potentially exist between a hobbiest and provider during a session, what are your opinions on how this hobby stacks up against what we think of as love, even if it's temporary or recreational love.

Please note:  I am NOT asking whether the hobby is a place to seek a long-term relationship with a provider.  That's not my interest and in any case the answer to that is already clear.

Yes it can during a session. When you all are into it, you or her might quiver and close your eyes. That is why you have to be careful and know the limits. If you see a provider multiple times you and the provider could develop a bond for each other. Certain times of the day you will all might day dream about each other. Your heart inside feels warm for her. You long for another appointment to get more affection, love, and sexual enjoyment.

-- Modified on 4/30/2006 7:23:43 PM

It is possible, IMO, to have the feelings you mention from provider/hobbiest relationships.  I have several clients whom I am genuinely fond of, care about, and just love f*cking.  I get excited before I see them and the feelings of fulfilment last long after our time together.

It's a perfect short term lust affair

-- Modified on 4/30/2006 1:03:36 PM

to not end up having feelings of love sometimes with people I embrace in intimacy with again and again.  To me this is allll about connection and engagement. I ALWAYS care.. and sometimes it moves much much deeper than that. I would never want to limit possibilities of intensity and of openings in my life.. here or anywhere else.  I am lucky in that I have a primary longterm partner in my husband.. and that actually allows me more freedom to open up wide in my emotions with others.. because the boundaries are already set. I guess I believe in the "and" in life vs the "or".

Reoes hobbying have anything to do with love?

Kindly permit me to disagree with the prevailing sentiment.  Guys, you're paying for sex pure & simple.  No matter how enthusiastic your ATF is to see you, she expects to be paid for her services.  Your relationship, just like work relationships, ends when the money or job or whatever reason to be together ends.  
So enjoy the fantasy but don't mix up a business relationship with a personal one.

with respect, knowledge, care and devotion.  To that end, love is important in your relationship with a provider, whether it's someone you're seeing for a one night stand in a city you're passing through; or a long term relationship with someone you want to see over and over.

That is not to be confused with committing to a long term relationship with someone you might want to marry and raise kids with.

The elements of loving can be applied to all interpersonal relationships.

I love your answer.  So honest.  My feelings are similar.

Reoes hobbying have anything to do with love?

Built has a point,  But I am forced to disagree with (at least in my circumstance). For me, I was not looking for a pure sex act. I know there a lot of men that are only interested in that. And that's OK if that is what they were looking for. I was wanting to "have my cake and eat it too" so to speak. While my provider was paid for the time with me, I wanted to make a connection. I was blessed to be with a classy lady who helped make that connection. I know full well that our lives will never cross.  As I am married with NO intention of leaving on my own, I wanted to get the attention and physical intimacy without the mess of an affair.  You can have intense feelings for someone and still accept the parameters of the relationship.  That can even strengthen your feelings knowing what is and isn't allowed.

I know my sentiments may be called niave by some and I could be clueless about everything, but by nature humans desire this connection. I think it can be possible to have these feelings co-exist with the provide-client transaction.

I've been single for a long time...and I'm getting old. It's hard to find love. But thanx to this place I've got 3 or 4 girl friends. If I had more mola, I could be just like Hef.

Yes, I never lose perspective that it is a business, and the sex is paid for. But the realtionships that sometimes develope out of the business aspect of seeing a provider are not paid for.

I have become close friends with several of my providers, and maintain contact with them outside of the hobby. Believe me, I am NOT bragging, but just trying to make a point here. I've had providers visit me at work, just to go to lunch. They call me just to chat or gossip sometimes. I exchange emails and PM's with them on a regular basis, and I've even have one that occasionally cooks me dinner before a session. I have taken them out to dinner, just for the company, no fees or sessions involved. These are the benefits of developing a steady relationship with a provider.

And I DO love the ones I see regularly. I find it almost impossible to share such an intimate experience with someone and not develope strong feelings for them, especially after two or three sessions. And once you continue to see someone for a year or longer, they really do become a part of your life. I feel as close to some of these ladies as I do to my own family.

The love is not a romantic type where you would want to run off and get married, it's a feeling of mutual respect and caring, and the joy and happiness one can get just from the pleasure of knowing someone who makes you feel special, and who is special to you.

Some cynics may say, just quit giving them your business and see how long the friendship lasts. That may be true to some extent, butI am confident in the fact that when the day comes that I can no longer be a player in this hobby, I will still continue to love a few of these ladies, and continue the friendships I have with them for many years beyond the hobby. And if not, then God Bless them, and I thank them for the fun and pleasure I've had knowing them when I did.

How can you not see the inequality in provider/hobbyist relationship?  We're the ones paying, my man.  I'm not saying you can't be friends outside the hobby but when it comes to the sex, $$$ talks and everything else walks!
Friends are friends, lovers are lovers and there is an equality in those relationships.  No one ever offered me money to be their friend or lover. And no self-respecting provider is going to offer me sex w/o payment.  Hence, the difference.  
BTW, I'm not putting down providers.  I respect all of you and appreciate the service you provide.  It's a great way to spend some time, enjoy the fantasy, relieve some stress before getting back to real life.

and I wouldn't be surprised if our dirfferent outlooks have something to do with that.

It can make providers feel bad if someone writes un-truths in a review. It can confuse love and sex. It can make you believe just about anything you are willing to believe.

Hell it actually has some people believing that what I am writing might be true.

I have loved each and every woman that I hobbied with. Even the ones I did not enjoy. Why? Well for me love is acceptance, and I accept each one of them for who they were and who they were not.

I must say, I would rather spend time with a quality provider - and bask in her attention for 60 min that endure mindless head games inflicted upon my by my civie dates.

For 60 min, I can pretend that they lady in front of me, possessing physical charms and devoted to me for that time span, is really and truly interested in me.  Do I fall in love with them? of course I do.  They know it too!  and then the 60 min ends.  There is no protracted divorce,  only an evelope left dicretely on the table.  there are no marital assets to divide and I am happy.  There is no tearful, "I'm sorry" to deal with and I am free to seek the next encounter.  And considering what my divorce costs me, a bargin is had.

So do I fall in love - of course - who wouldn't!

You say friends are friends and lovers are lovers. While I AM friends with my providers, No I am NOT lovers with any of them, but I DO LOVE the ones I have established a long term relationship with, and it is a heart felt love.

One comment you made that I really took exception to, is that no self-respecting provider would ever offer their services without payment. I have recieved free sessions on five different occasions since becoming a hobbyist. And no, it was not for putting up a good review. Four times for my birthday, and once out of gratitude for helping a provider get her reviews restored after TER mistakenly took them down.

Maybe it was good PR on their part, but in NO way did they give up any self-respect for doing that.

Everyone indulges in this hobby with a different perspective of it. To pay for your fantasy and enjoy it, and get stress relief is fine, but a little extra personal involvement can really spice it up. I have ended up enjoying my providers so much, they have become the better part of my real life.

This hobby is similar to any other hobby in the fact the some folks take it more seriously than others. It goes to that trite old saying, to each his own.

Do you love to kiss a beautiful lady and have her kiss you back MORE passionately than you kissed her to begin with?  Do you love the touch of a woman's body (and boy could I go into some specifics here)?  Do you love the smell of a woman's body?  The taste?  Do you love the sensation of her sucking your dick?  If "yes" is the answer to any of the above, then the answer is YES.  Now, if the question you meant to ask was, "Does hobbying have anything to do with TRUE love?", then I would ask you the following:  "Do you TRULY love to kiss a beautiful lady...?"  LOL

-- Modified on 5/1/2006 9:02:57 AM

I basically had sex on my mind going in to visit my first provider, but what I got during the session was a lot more friendship and intimacy.  

We spent quite some time discussing our backgrounds, education, families, hobbies and other interests.  There were several minutes when we would just hold each other silently.  A few times, she asked what I was thinking.  Actually, I got more pleasure by giving her and watching her receive pleasure than the other way around.  

All in all, it was surprisingly different than what I expected.  I can understand the perspective that this was nothing more than an hour of play-acting, but heck, a nice experience is a nice experience.

BTW, do let us know if you ever decide to visit D.C.  A rock'n'rollin' busty blonde with a British accent is sure to drive the gents on this side of the pool bananas..

Ideally,yes!Does the term provider only refer to providing physical needs?Or does that term also encompass emotional and perhaps spiritual needs?When I am with someone I love them.This is not to say it is romantic love(let's run away together and get married)as others have already stated.During the time I spend with someone I am 100% in the moment,focused on them,loving them,hoping to connect in every way possible and if I'm lucky they are feeling the same way towards me.Temporary maybe,if something so intense can be temporary.I hope we both take away a lasting memory of pleasure from the encounter."Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away." Here's to those moments!!  NJ provider